Saturday, March 31, 2018
Friday, March 30, 2018
SHAUNA EASTER
Cilla Blackledge, just in time for the holidays, premieres her new discovery...
SHAUNA EASTER.
Says Cilla, "I wanted to do something special for this wonderful holiday. It's such a cheerful event. You see, God knocked up a Jewish bitch, then watched his bastard son have a tough time of it. He was considered a Jew, after all. So they crucified him, and God didn't help one little bit.
"The Romans dumped the dead Jesus of Nazareth in a cave. Let's not get mad at the Romans. Let's pretend they were Jews. If we hate the Romans, we get no pizza. The good news: ho ho ha ha hee hee, he got himself resurrected. I'm not sure if HE did it or his Daddy actually did. I stopped going to Catholic school after the nuns beat me too often. They get cranky if the candle shipment is late.
"So, Jesus swooped the Earth NEVER to be seen again. Except by some fanatic cranks who have seen him on their toast and swimming in their porridge. Easter celebrates either the resurrection and him fleeing the Earth, or the fact that when he fled the planet, he didn't take all the marshmallows, and now we have so many we can shape them like Eggs and Bunnies. Wheee!
"Shauna Easter looks a bit like my old friend Shauna Cuntwell, but with normal sized eyes and a less goofy round face. Oh, she also actually HAS the top of her head intact. And isn't that shaved twat ADORABLE? Oh come let ye adore it...if you pay the going Sheffield price."
SHAUNA EASTER.
Says Cilla, "I wanted to do something special for this wonderful holiday. It's such a cheerful event. You see, God knocked up a Jewish bitch, then watched his bastard son have a tough time of it. He was considered a Jew, after all. So they crucified him, and God didn't help one little bit.
"The Romans dumped the dead Jesus of Nazareth in a cave. Let's not get mad at the Romans. Let's pretend they were Jews. If we hate the Romans, we get no pizza. The good news: ho ho ha ha hee hee, he got himself resurrected. I'm not sure if HE did it or his Daddy actually did. I stopped going to Catholic school after the nuns beat me too often. They get cranky if the candle shipment is late.
"So, Jesus swooped the Earth NEVER to be seen again. Except by some fanatic cranks who have seen him on their toast and swimming in their porridge. Easter celebrates either the resurrection and him fleeing the Earth, or the fact that when he fled the planet, he didn't take all the marshmallows, and now we have so many we can shape them like Eggs and Bunnies. Wheee!
"Shauna Easter looks a bit like my old friend Shauna Cuntwell, but with normal sized eyes and a less goofy round face. Oh, she also actually HAS the top of her head intact. And isn't that shaved twat ADORABLE? Oh come let ye adore it...if you pay the going Sheffield price."
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Nightmares for Sale
Hello again, Fun Seekers,
While most gruesome shit has already been covered, every now and then, there WILL be a new entry to this delightful blog, located just down the road from the fine city of Manchester. Yes, the town of Spitpool.
What has us spitting a spit-take today is the website CLIPS 4 Sale, which is not a circumcision clinic. It's a place for amateur horribles to sell their shitloads. Er, downloads.
In the old days, the horribles would have to advertise in SCREW or the SAN FRANSCISO BALL and sell their crap mail order on VHS or a set of photos. Some horribles STILL sell this way, using EBAY to pimp their DVDs and their computer print-out junk.
But the REAL action is downloading. That's right, Shauna, set your camcorder on a tripod, then start TALKING. Really. Some of the bitches do not even get naked. They just natter and posture and jeer and sneer and TALK DIRTY and get a dollar a minute for it. You name the subject, and the horribles will be on it.
We all have better things to do, right? Obviously NOT.
Shauna, it was one of your latest insane (and you thought totally innocuous) videos that had me thinking, "wait, isn't there a website that lets ANYONE sell crap? Not just professionals who are actually attractive and scripted in what they do? Oof, yeah. While Clips4Sale does have some professionals, they have plenty of eager amateurs, and the freakier the better. Just ONE example:
Yes, Shauna, YOU may get to the point where you swap your prudery for a paycheck.
Aside from the grotesques, there's quite a market for boring standard stuff. Like the HUNDREDS of items you get if you type BLONDE and SHAVED in the search:
Yes Shauna, YOU may be on this site one day, and hoping that a "search" when somebody types in "Blonde" and "Shaved" AND "Stupid" will get YOU talking one to one to a desperate dude who like being teased, verbally insulted by a marble-mouthed Irish bint, and financially humiliated. Byeeeeeeeee!
While most gruesome shit has already been covered, every now and then, there WILL be a new entry to this delightful blog, located just down the road from the fine city of Manchester. Yes, the town of Spitpool.
What has us spitting a spit-take today is the website CLIPS 4 Sale, which is not a circumcision clinic. It's a place for amateur horribles to sell their shitloads. Er, downloads.
In the old days, the horribles would have to advertise in SCREW or the SAN FRANSCISO BALL and sell their crap mail order on VHS or a set of photos. Some horribles STILL sell this way, using EBAY to pimp their DVDs and their computer print-out junk.
But the REAL action is downloading. That's right, Shauna, set your camcorder on a tripod, then start TALKING. Really. Some of the bitches do not even get naked. They just natter and posture and jeer and sneer and TALK DIRTY and get a dollar a minute for it. You name the subject, and the horribles will be on it.
We all have better things to do, right? Obviously NOT.
Shauna, it was one of your latest insane (and you thought totally innocuous) videos that had me thinking, "wait, isn't there a website that lets ANYONE sell crap? Not just professionals who are actually attractive and scripted in what they do? Oof, yeah. While Clips4Sale does have some professionals, they have plenty of eager amateurs, and the freakier the better. Just ONE example:
Yes, Shauna, YOU may get to the point where you swap your prudery for a paycheck.
Aside from the grotesques, there's quite a market for boring standard stuff. Like the HUNDREDS of items you get if you type BLONDE and SHAVED in the search:
Yes Shauna, YOU may be on this site one day, and hoping that a "search" when somebody types in "Blonde" and "Shaved" AND "Stupid" will get YOU talking one to one to a desperate dude who like being teased, verbally insulted by a marble-mouthed Irish bint, and financially humiliated. Byeeeeeeeee!
Friday, December 22, 2017
Monday, December 18, 2017
Now her saggy, lopsided tits belong to the ages...
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Saturday, December 16, 2017
Hansy's Wife
"Hallo!
"This is such a NICE blog I thought I would add a picture for you all. Yes, I am Hansy's very own "hair bag," Marieke der Frieke. These days I am NTX - NOT TOO XCITING. But look at me on the right!
"At one time, my Hansy loved to take pictures of me getting 'skull fucked' as he called it. Oh, he was one sado-masochistic nutjob. One minute he'd be growling at me and calling me dirty names. Then he would get emotional, say he was sorry, and lick the cum off my lips.
"You have NO IDEA what it has been like for 50 years. I am so glad I will die soon. I only hope Hans dies first so I can watch him gasp like a beached whale, and groan, and call out my name. 'You are my rock, Marieke,' he will say. And I will answer. 'What, I did not hear you, I have tinnitis.' Ha ha ha.
"The blood will drain from his face, and day after day he will shrink and shrivel from being a big fat bearded blimp to being a skeletal, frightened old man. He will sob, 'I should have made better use of the time I had left, and not spent it on the Internet giving away Christmas music to strangers.' And I will reply, 'Yes, you should have spent more time watching me giving blowjobs to Niggas. Because that's what I was doing while you were on the Internet. You used to watch and take pictures! But once you were fired at 55, and your testicles suddenly got sucked up into your intestines, and got shitted out during that diverticulitis fit, you lost ALL interest in sex.
"You began to tell the world, 'Blogging saved my life.' What could I do but go sit in a window in an Amsterdam brothel and offer discounts to Niggas? Soon enough I got a little black book of big black dicks. I could make calls and say: 'Stubbleface is on the Internet, he will be busy for hours. Come over and merle my haggard!' Again and again I would get fucked and always finish off with a load in my mouth. Meanwhile my idiot husband was typing boasts and insults at people he didn't know. Then I would hear him crying as he vowed never to blog again. Then he would shut down his latest blog and getting a new one a minute later.
"Now we are an old feeble couple. We go to Applebees once a week and this is a big deal. The most excitement we had in the past ten years was nearly getting into a car wreck. I only wish I could get him interested in my ISP - Infected Smelly Pussy. Oh well, I have had almost as many different Niggas as he has had smooth jazz CDs. Hundreds! He has had 20gb of Christmas music and I have had 20oz of bg. That's twenty ounces of blackman's goo. A day!"
"This is such a NICE blog I thought I would add a picture for you all. Yes, I am Hansy's very own "hair bag," Marieke der Frieke. These days I am NTX - NOT TOO XCITING. But look at me on the right!
"At one time, my Hansy loved to take pictures of me getting 'skull fucked' as he called it. Oh, he was one sado-masochistic nutjob. One minute he'd be growling at me and calling me dirty names. Then he would get emotional, say he was sorry, and lick the cum off my lips.
"You have NO IDEA what it has been like for 50 years. I am so glad I will die soon. I only hope Hans dies first so I can watch him gasp like a beached whale, and groan, and call out my name. 'You are my rock, Marieke,' he will say. And I will answer. 'What, I did not hear you, I have tinnitis.' Ha ha ha.
"The blood will drain from his face, and day after day he will shrink and shrivel from being a big fat bearded blimp to being a skeletal, frightened old man. He will sob, 'I should have made better use of the time I had left, and not spent it on the Internet giving away Christmas music to strangers.' And I will reply, 'Yes, you should have spent more time watching me giving blowjobs to Niggas. Because that's what I was doing while you were on the Internet. You used to watch and take pictures! But once you were fired at 55, and your testicles suddenly got sucked up into your intestines, and got shitted out during that diverticulitis fit, you lost ALL interest in sex.
"You began to tell the world, 'Blogging saved my life.' What could I do but go sit in a window in an Amsterdam brothel and offer discounts to Niggas? Soon enough I got a little black book of big black dicks. I could make calls and say: 'Stubbleface is on the Internet, he will be busy for hours. Come over and merle my haggard!' Again and again I would get fucked and always finish off with a load in my mouth. Meanwhile my idiot husband was typing boasts and insults at people he didn't know. Then I would hear him crying as he vowed never to blog again. Then he would shut down his latest blog and getting a new one a minute later.
"Now we are an old feeble couple. We go to Applebees once a week and this is a big deal. The most excitement we had in the past ten years was nearly getting into a car wreck. I only wish I could get him interested in my ISP - Infected Smelly Pussy. Oh well, I have had almost as many different Niggas as he has had smooth jazz CDs. Hundreds! He has had 20gb of Christmas music and I have had 20oz of bg. That's twenty ounces of blackman's goo. A day!"
Monday, December 11, 2017
Shauna Cuntwell's new FIVER campaign
SHAUNA CUNTWELL recently called up her ex-manager, Bill
Hoobastank. She was moaning, "Nobody will pay for my music! Nobody wants
to use me as a model on FIVERRRRR. Nobody will pay me to do voice-overs
for them! Why is that?"
And Bill said, "Gurgle gurgle gurgle!" Which made almost as much sense as her mumbling Irish accent, which sounds like a duck farting into a bathtub full of beer. Bill sent her an email with a link to a SUCCESSFUL bitch on Fiver:
The idea of making a lot of MONEY trumped Shauna's innate slum prudery.
She decided to take the plunge, and do something with NUDITY!!
With the help of ace photographer Cilla Blackledge, and some lipstick, Shauna has been experimenting with the right slogans that might get guysssss to pay her for pictures!
Coming soon, her new ad campaign: "Pay me a fiverrrr and I'll write
your name over my belly button!" I'll make it seem like I charge for
everyone but YOU! Like...
I'M A WHORE...but for TAYLOR SWIFT...I'm a SLUT!
And Bill said, "Gurgle gurgle gurgle!" Which made almost as much sense as her mumbling Irish accent, which sounds like a duck farting into a bathtub full of beer. Bill sent her an email with a link to a SUCCESSFUL bitch on Fiver:
The idea of making a lot of MONEY trumped Shauna's innate slum prudery.
She decided to take the plunge, and do something with NUDITY!!
With the help of ace photographer Cilla Blackledge, and some lipstick, Shauna has been experimenting with the right slogans that might get guysssss to pay her for pictures!
I'M A WHORE...but for TAYLOR SWIFT...I'm a SLUT!
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