How clueless can you get? What next? "The Beatles have long hair! Ewwww!"
There's no shortage of laughably inept "rock" websites where snotty punks decide that with no credentials and just a little of mummy's money, they're equal to Rolling Stone, AllMusic, and all the professional entertainment sites on the Net.
These assholes actually have the nerve to put "established 2012" as if that means something! Gosh, you're in your SECOND year! Wow. You do act like two-year-olds.
Come up with a stupid name (FAF...which is close to FAP, the nerd's slang word for masturbation) and you're in. Or, you're out.
These clueless turds have the nerve to not only snicker about Yoko's show at Gassed-and-Buried, but to invoke John Lennon's name??
"John Lennon is surely turning in his grave," say the witless dweebs who don't know he was cremated, and who weren't around when he was killed.
"Ear splitting squeals..." they write. Oh, how original. That's what some brain-dead old farts said about her in 1968. And that's what they said about The Beatles, and The Stones and Buddy Holly and Igor Stravinsky and Sitar music and anything else they didn't understand.
"Oh my god. This is bad." That's the level of rock criticism you get at Fafmag. No wonder nobody's heard of them.
But that's the point...these dickheads probably are squealing at each other, "We gotta be EDGY, dudes, EDGY...let's get quoted...let's get attention...let's...I know...ATTACK YOKO ONO! Har har har!"
Desperation. Stupidity. That's how these amateurs are. The problem is everybody's doing this. Everybody thinks that all they need to do is finance a website for a little while and it'll pay off. Try and convince people who know better, that they're getting "traffic" and should be supported by ads. It's all a lot of dogshit.
It costs, what, spare change to own a website for a year or two? You really think that you can say anything so outrageous it'll keep people coming back for more? EVERYBODY is saying outrageous shit. It means nothing. Even the biggest loudmouths...the Kardashians, Kanye, Joan Rivers...can't get people to pay attention. It's B-o-o-o-ring. And snarking about Yoko Ono is just SO LAME.
We're FAFMAG, we decided, with no credentials, that people should pay attention to us! We say Yoko's concert was the worst ever!
You're not even at the level of being a hemorrhoid on Simon Cowell's ass. You couldn't be hired to judge a shit-eating contest in Japan. You're not worth Pete Townshend hitting you over the head with his guitar.
The Fafmag bunch aren't going to ever be known for anything. The jerk who wrote "Oh my god. This is bad" is not going to EVER be paid for his writing. EVER. Take it from somebody who has not only written for national rock magazines, but edited one! And I was paid every step of the way. I turned in a piece a few weeks ago...that would pay for the site name and the bandwidth for the next ten fucking years. And no, I wouldn't use that money to start up my own stupid Twerkmag Fartmag Fapmag or Snizzmag...because even great sites are lost in the shuffle these days thanks to low attention spans and too much competition.
Rock mags are obsolete. You used to buy 'em to find out the latest records and if they were worth buying. Now you download all your music free, so who the fuck cares what any critic thinks? You give it a shot, and trash it if you don't like it.
Oddly enough, a few days ago I played the "Plastic Ono Band" DVD...a documentary on the making of John's brilliant first solo album. In the course of the discussion, Ringo mentioned how exciting it was to work on Yoko's album, too. It was a pair. Both albums arrived simultaneously. Yoko had serious musicians working with her. Ringo said he was absolutely amazed that her voice could meld so well with John's guitar. A lot of REAL critics were especially impressed with the opening cut "Why." And I sure was.
The Gassed-and-Buried festival? Gosh, Fap-dweebs, what did you want? Some guys throwing their guitars on the ground? Doing an hour of distortion and feedback? Growling like Cookie Monster while doing heavy metal nonsense? Maybe your idea of a good time is listening to a bad vocal processed through a vocoder?
Maybe you should go back and actually LISTEN to John Lennon...not just to what he said about Yoko's "Don't Worry Kyoko," but what he said about how she influenced his own album...and the primal screams on "Mother." Or "Cold Turkey." Jesus, you are such dopes.
Does this mean I enjoyed Yoko's show? Frankly, I downloaded it, and turned it off after five or six minutes. Not because "Oh my god. This is bad." Only because I'd heard it before. I would've also turned off fuckin' McCartney if he arrived to wiggle his head from side to side and launch into an 8 minute version of "Hey Jude."
The woman is what, 81 now? She actually went all the way to Glastonbury to introduce stupid clueless kids to her pioneering style of music? And she gets "John Lennon is surely turning in his grave?"
Just eat shit, guys. Eat shit. Whether it's Kurt Cobain. Whether it's Beyonce. Whether it's Viley Virus. Whether it's kewl Roger Waters. Whether it's death metal. Just find a dog's anus or your mother's anus (same thing) open wide, and chow down.
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