A visibly tired (she's 80) Rivers arrived at some event or other with reporters at her heels. The previous day she'd signed thousands of copies of her new book. The highlight, in front of her predominantly gay and obnoxious and oh-so-adoring fans, was mock-officiating a "gay wedding." Ewww, FAB!
She loved it, of course. Great publicity. Who gives a shit that Joan Rivers was signing copies of her ninth or tenth book? That's not news. The news was that two ugly, grinning, semen-breathed look-alikes got to pose with THE Joan Rivers herself, who "married" them.
Jackie Mason, by the way, is an ordained rabbi and can actually marry people. Rivers can't. It was just bullshit, but that's what celebrity news is.
So a reporter, seeking ANY kind of comment from the old lady, asked for her comment about officiating a gay wedding. What was she supposed to say? She muttered how it was no big deal because the president is gay. And his wife Michelle is a tranny.
"A what?" the reporter asked.
"A TRANSGENDER," Rivers gasped, her voice a perpetual rasp (like Bob Dylan's) from her never-ending-tours and promotions.
(Whoops, Joan, don't you know that at this very moment, "tranny" is OUT? Some members of the "community" say that it's a demeaning word, and along with "she-male" should be banished. That's what happens when any group gains power. It corrupts. They start making unreasonable demands.)
I guess the idea was to try and turn Middle America against her by quoting her as disrespecting the President. Fat chance. Middle America hate Obama. Rivers is a Republican. SHE hates Obama. Think about her "family values" -- this is a woman who sells awful junk jewelry on "home shopping" TV. Just because she has progressive views on sex doesn't mean she can't be fiscally and emotionally conservative. I think her ad lib comes from her basic believe that Obama isn't manly in his defense of Israel or in being another Putin. Obama isn't manly and his wife isn't feminine. She might champion fags and dykes but she isn't one of them. Deep down, she wants guys to be manly and women to be feminine.
I don't want to psychoanalyze the woman too much, but I doubt the bad joke sprang from a Bob Dylan "even the President of the United States must have to stand naked" notion. She meant "gay" and "tranny" here as insults.
A big reason I didn't feel like shlepping to her book signing was that it was going to be full of fags. Joan loves to admit she's a "fag hag." She's an icon for gays, because gays like bizarre ugly women (Judy Garland, everyone...) and they love trivial, gossipy cunts who have nothing better to do than worry about their hair, complain about their lack of tits, and shriek about how other women look.
I knew that if I went down there, I'd be sitting among a lot of very loud, campy, annoying stereotypical fags...the ones who LOVE being FAGS and jeer, "We're HERE and we're QUEER." The ones that figure being gay means they're MORE than equal to others...they're "special," they're smarter, cooler, and oooh-la-la have more fashion-sense which is SO important. Sorry...I don't like to be around these idiots. Don't beat 'em up, don't harass them, let them be what they want (just like stereotypical blacks, Jews, Irish, etc.) but give me a chance to opt out, because I can tolerate just so much of this call-attention-to-yourself crap.
The idea that gays are an oppressed minority would be laughable except so many of them still get the crap beaten out of them in the Red States (and once in a while even in such hubs of butt-fucking as Greenwich Village). They have a strong clique, and they are just as heterophobic and sexist about hiring straights when they get into power. You try and get a job in some of the arts...you'll see. Even if they run a fucking antiques store, they'll hire some teenage boy they can abuse over a teenage girl they can't. That's human nature.
The second reason I didn't go was that meeting her is no thrill...I've spent time with her privately. Saying hello on a fucking "move along, next, next" line, to get a book that I can download free (and which will take up no space)...no thanks.
My gripe is that what she said wasn't funny. Don Rickles rarely is, but he has an out-of-control persona. He can call someone a hockey puck, make some ridiculous remark, and we laugh because he's running on empty and his exasperation is what's funny. But Rivers just fired a blank. Because she's not great with an ad lib. She's a great writer. She employs a lot of freelancers, but she can also write a good line. She can also remember a good line and make it seem like an ad lib. But this time...it didn't work. Which wouldn't be a big deal if the underlying point of the joke wasn't demeaning to the President and the First Lady. Every comic bombs now and then with a joke that isn't funny, but it usually has some truth to it...it just wasn't expressed well. This one had no truth to it AND wasn't expressed well.
The big reporting of this, right after July 4th, is to try and stir up middle-American hate against Rivers?!? Not gonna work, because middle-America hates Obama anyway. The Red States hate him. They won't ask Rivers to apologize. Worse...they'll keep buying her junk jewelry.
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