NAUSEA: U.S. CHEF POSTAGE STAMPS HONOR ETHNIC NOBODIES

We all know one of the biggest conjobs on the planet is...COLLECTING POSTAGE STAMPS.

The postal workers know it. They laugh at the morons who come by to buy this shit. HOW many stamps are printed? MILLIONS. Check eBay. Take a look at what American (or any other country) stamps from the 40's are worth. 50's. 60's. Face value. A few pennies over. It's one of the worst investments you can make.

What makes the U.S. Postal "service" more laughable and obnoxious is that monkeys and imbeciles tend to pick the commemoratives. They come up with an assortment every month, and they're usually idiotic.

I copped the photo above from some food website happy as shit that "CHEFS" are being honored. You notice that only TWO of the FIVE were printed large. Why? Because only TWO of the FIVE are actually famous chefs. The other three are shit-for-brains assholes...honored because they are ethnic.

That's America, Land of the Freaks, Homos of the Abrasives. You can just imagine the dunderheaded shit-faced urine-faced clowns assembled at that meeting, hired for their color not for their brains.

"Uhhh, if we have Four spots...Five spots...they should all be different races. Only one white guy. Maybe a white woman. Then we must...MUST...have an Asian, a Latino, a BLACK..."

Even if they aren't remotely celebrities, or even well known? Even if they're mediocre and didn't accomplish anything?

I'm sure JULIA CHILD is a name everyone knows all over the world. She wrote the source-authority French cookbooks, and there was even a movie about her.

JAMES BEARD is probably well known, too. He was an authority on fish, and wrote several highly regarded cookbooks. I'm not going to bother looking it up on Wikipedia, but I'll assume that like Julia, he hosted a TV cooking show at one time. He was a big fat ox.

The other three? Joyce Chen is nothing. Chinese food has been around for thousands of years. Anyone improve on Chow Fon? No. Anybody COOK that stuff? Of course not. You go out for Chinese food. FUCK this Joyce Chen bitch. I think there's a brand of supermarket shit with her name on it now. Whee, you can buy your own noodles. So what.

The other two? I've never heard of either of this fuckwits, and it's purely "He's Latino" and "She's Black" and that's racism, pure and simple. Edna Lewis? Who the FUCK is she? "Southern cooking ambassador." Never heard of her. South American chef Felipe Rojas-Lombardi? Never heard of that greasy-haired greasy-spoon jackass either.

I don't consider myself any kind of gourmet chef, but I'm not ignorant. There are names you know, just because they're unavoidable. That includes fashion assholes like Calvin Klein or Perry Ellis, or sports pricks like David Beckham or garbage pop stars like Viley Virus and Justa Beeper. If you go to a supermarket or read a newspaper you're bound to read about a famous chef or see one on a product label, and flipping the dial, you would've seen some CHEF yapping on a cooking show. "Oh yeah, Julia Child, I remember her." Edna Lewis? FUCK NO. That other guy? Aii Chihuahua, NO.

PS, I used to review cooking tapes, and I once interviewed the very famous dead chef, Craig Claiborne, for a national magazine. So if I haven't heard of most of these chumps...they are CHUMPS.

"We've got to hire ethnics, qualified or not. We've got to open the door to immigrants, even if they're dangerous psychopaths. We've got to put colored people on our colorful stamps, whether they deserve it or not."

Claiborne, by the way, deserves it over Chinagirl, Black lady, and Greaseball. But he's a dead WHITE GUY. Tell me that at the roundtable meeting to decide who gets on a stamp, there wasn't a big stink made over what COLOR the people were! Tell me the colored people on that committee didn't start pushing the minority candidates nobody ever heard of, and turning thumbs down on Craig Claiborne, or The Galloping Gourmet or some other famous white chefs. What about Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker? Sorry Craig, even if you wrote great cookbooks, we'll throw your bones in a pot and make some soup. Maybe Greaseball knows a good recipe for stewed white man's bones, that he got from the Jivaro Indians.