Any Titley is Bound to be a Boob

How nice, nipple-brain Titley is on KICKSTARTER again, cutting his inane demands from a D cup to a B cup.

So, he doesn't need $10,000 to make a stupid movie after all, just $5,000.

Christ, there's no shortage of crappy horror and slasher indie movies, is there?

Most of 'em in this Huelbig world of weirdness, are "straight to DVD" and "straight to memorabilia show" items. The producer-director, usually in a top hat and some rejected Alice Cooper make-up, sets up a table and has some bimbo from the film wear a teeny bikini and blink at every passing Huelbig. Yes, she'll be willing to sign the DVD case AND pose if you PAY $20.

Here's yet another TITLEY with a bad horror film nobody wants to see:

The acting is a joke, and the "special effects" (ooh, knife drawing blood against flesh) are ridiculous. The Tit-illation scenes in this farcical "coming attractions" trailer don't even exist. Why is it that so many morons want to duplicate every cliche they've seen?

The trailer, heavily padded out with ominous music and fades to 5 seconds of black, shows a dweebish and clueless dope (Titley?) Skyping his girlfriend. He keeps calling her name. What's going on? We see snippets of the idiot girl doing the usual "damsel in distress" grimaces, wandering around the old dark house, and glimpses of some shadowy figure with a knife. Ooooh.

The trailer teases COMING SOON, but tat was back in 2014. Yeah, really? Still waiting for Kickstarter money are you? And this teaser that was supposed to whet everyone's appetite and investment money has gotten only EIGHT HITS in ALL THIS TIME????????

Meanwhile, here's a TITLEY who got to squeeze TITS.

He's probably a 40 year-old virgin and even though this happened TEN YEARS AGO, he wants everyone to be impressed. Less than 800 have seen this, and he got ONE comment, saying "MEH. BORING."

Yes, boring even though Mr. Classy added squeaker-noise sound effects every time he touched the dopey girls' globes.

MAXIM is still being published? How many owners have bought and sold this stupid "lad mag?" When even Penthouse failed, and Playboy is now switching to a non-nudity format, who needs THIS idiocy? Millennial morons are supposed to BUY a magazine to see girls in bikinis, or to be told what kind of computer and stereo equipment and shoes to buy?

The sad, sad world of GooTube FAILS and KICKSTARTER FAILS. Why don't morons, and especially morons named Titley GO AWAY? There's a time-honored truth: "If at first you don't succeed, GIVE UP. No use making a damn fool of yourself."

W.C. Fields said that.