That's why your rag is getting skinnier and skinnier till it disappears off newsstands entirely.
For a year or more, you've been trying to appeal to Millennials and minorities, by doing lovely things like running a cutie-pie photo of the Boston Marathon Bomber on your cover, and telling the world how brilliant KUNTYE is.
You actually have reviewers take KUNTYE and rap music SERIOUSLY! You have even given serious reviews to the shit from Miley, too.
Every issue you point out the latest Nigga nonsense people are supposed to care about. Niggas be just as important as Dylan was 40 years ago, just as progressive as Fripp or Tull. Oooh, here are two Niggas well worth pondering.
Christ, you might as well go to the zoo, give a chimp a paintbrush, and tell the world he's the new Picasso.
One of these monkeys was treated to a full page article...on his FASHIONS. Take a look. Who wants to dress that stupidly? Rolling Stone let us know how much his designer sunglasses were, his fucking sneakers, his creepy pants, etc. etc. Oooh, yeah, let me spend a DAY'S PAY to buy the same sunglasses some Niggas wears.
Unfortunately, the alternative isn't interesting either, which is to promote the veteran stars. First off, they are boring. They recycle their hits and if they actually perform anything new, you have to be one hell of a kiss-ass to pretend it's any good.
Second, they are old and ugly. Putting them in the news section is unappetizing. It's a joke.
We're really supposed to be envious of whoever snapped a picture of porcine Peter Gabriel balancing his walrus-weight on a bicycle?
We're supposed to be impressed by yet another dull picture of Hair-Dye Macca making faces on stage, with some other tired idiot?
It's been a LONG time since Peter Gabriel, the antisemitic blimp, recorded a song worth hearing. It's been several lifetimes since he actually looked like a rock star. Is seeing photos of aging rockers being boring worth paying for? NO.
Why would I care that boring Eric Crapton went fishing? That fat Adele went for a waddle?
Fishing is not even a sport. So Crapton took two hours to reel in a fish. He could just as easily have stayed home and spent an hour at the gym. Did he throw the fish back? Did he think the fish had a good time with a fucking hook in its mouth, being hauled halfway out of the water by some asshole who figures if he can't play guitar he can torment wildlife?
As for ugly ADELE, does she look like anything but a turd in that photo? Whitehorn in drag? Who the hell wants to look at her? I don't even want to hear the bitch.
Poor Fag Wenner.
There's Nigga crap and there's Geezer garbage. NOT APPETIZING.
What else can the guy do? Run political articles on how bad the environment is? Snoooooze. Are there some sexy bitches of the Ronstadt variety around to promote? Nooooo. There are almost NO up and coming singer-songwriters because this is a tired genre, all of it. Country, Rock, even hip-hop and trance and disco. It's ALL boring as hell. It's so rare when anybody has a song that is catchy or has an interesting lyric to it.
Poor Fag Wenner, he KNOWS that the future ain't Shauna or Basket Case. 21st Century Music, Films, Books and Culture is SHITE.
Only Millennials and Morons (same thing) get excited about the dopey movies and TV shows that recycle the same old junk. Oooh, "Game of Toilets" has topless idiots and dragons. So? Ooooh, here are sitcoms were families insult each other. So?
Magazines are going under all the time. It's only a matter of time, Fag. You'll be left with a website that competes with DECIDER and NEWSER and FUCKER AND SUCKER. And...you'll only be a Wenner Winner at being a LOSER.
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