HERR SCHMIDT WILL ANSWER, "GOO GOO!"

Ha ha ha ha ha. Eric Schmidt der CEO of GOOGLE UBER ALLES, wins again and again! TWO victories are in today's news. In Germany, Google laughed off a slap on the wrist.

In Great Britain? You guessed it. Google pays almost no taxes, while the citizens there remain among the most abused in the world. Or don't you remember George Harrison singing out against the "TAXMAN!" 100 years ago, one of the top entertainers of the day was VESTA VICTORIA, and she sang the novelty classic "Will He Answer Goo Goo." I think we know the answer, finally. If it's Eric Schmidt, you bet he will. Baby-talk nonsense will do just fine, Your Honor. Remember, My Lord, GOOGLE is the biggest Internet company in the world. Its search engine can make or break anyone. It has mapped the world, too. It controls copyright. It makes money in every way possible from dominating music and television (go to You Tube for all you need) to making sure all newspaper content can be accessed free (oh, with some links or ads here and there for GOOGLE to make some money).

Above is happy happy Eric Schmidt. Cheers, Eric! GOOGLE spits a few pence into the British pot, and laughs all the way to the bank with billions! "That's more than fair," Mr. Dury might sing. Because Mr. Dury had a very dark and cynical sense of humor!

But let's not suggest there's anything sinister or even unpleasant about how Google's managed to take over the world...becoming the dominant search engine, and the only place to upload copyrighted music and TV shows and movie clips and sports moments for everyone to "You Tube." Just come to accept that entertainment, free, means GOOGLE, and that means: "GOOGLE IS GOOD."

Repeat that. "GOOGLE IS GOOD." GOO GOO GOO GOO GOO.

GOOGLE IS GOOD because FREE is GOOD. Because COPYRIGHT is COPYWRONG. Because INTERNET FREEDOM means having the fun of spying with Google maps. And, if you do have to pay for something, like bootlegs or drugs or a whore or whatever, there's "Google Payments" (because Paypal, ugh, actually bans sellers who traffic in illegal items).

What's not to love? You can spy on anyone with Google maps. You can Google up a way to steal via download most anything. You can Google up information on anyone. Google glasses are coming! Pledge allegiance to Google! Ooh, and every now and then they do a GOOGLE DOODLE! GA GA! OOH! Tell me you've never had someone pester you with: "Hey, did you see that thing on GOOGLE today? You can click on it..." and there's animation, or music, or something. Watta wonderful world.

And best of all, kiddies, once you've got Google Chrome, and G-Mail, and Google Payments, and all the rest of it, GOOGLE will know EVERYTHING about YOU. And that's a GOO GOO GOOD thing, because GOOGLE will take care of you, do what's best for you, and be fair with you! Trust in GOOGLE. You really have no choice, come to think of it.