Lord save us from "singers" on YouTube! I've added new "lyrics" for this human speedbump, because they may help amuse the disgusted.
Earlier I mentioned the fat jerk who sits around regurgitating news items and giving his worthless fat-larded weigh-in.
He is unfortunately over-shadowed, literally, by the huge number of grotesque "singers" out there, and Lord, THIS turd is one. I have removed all identification, not because he shouldn't be the target of cruelty (anyone typing in the song name or name of the artist he's covering is being victimized). No, it's done because there IS that one-in-a-billion chance that giving him any attention could lead to the "it's so horrible it's good" brigade giving him enough hits to encourage him further, or actually get him a few Google pence! He doesn't need hits on YouTube, he needs hits on that beanie-covered melon with the fungus hanging off it. The thing he calls a head.
If Robert Morley and Hattie Jacques had a child…the result might be talented, if overweight, effeminate and grotesque. BUTT, if Robert penetrated Hattie via the rear, and the child was delivered via some kind of C-section of the colon…well, there's no hope at all. Just YouTube video-sewage.
Sending out a press release saying, "I'm the bastard of Morley and Jacques" would make more sense than throwing up foul Spam-like postings that don't get more than a passing glance even from relatives or admissions directors at mental homes. But you know the delusion here...tasteless mucks simply knock it out in one take, never look before posting, and think the result will get a booking. Yes, for disturbing the peace.
If you're wondering what the porcine creature is singing…so am I. And I've heard it. It's a cover version of a late artiste's song, and that artiste would've died if he had heard it. The singer is not alive either, but in some kind of zombie state. Is there a movie, "Night of the Porcine Dead" for which he's auditioning?.
To be amused by the disgusting, all elements of hapless hopeless amateurism must be in place: out of tune guitar, stumbling over the notes, fumbling with the controls to start and stop the video, failing to sing the lyrics clearly, looking at the frets to figure out where the pudgy fingers should twitch next, cheap microphone, silly outfit, bad hair, mug-shot lighting, and no charisma. Yes, it's all there. But it's still not amusing.
Somebody who looks and performs like a joke should try novelty tunes. What this guy (I think it's a guy) needs is a song that suits him, hence the "lyrics" added to his picture. A song about how he got so fat (retention of too much snot and shit) might get him a cult following! All he'd need is a catchy name to go with it: "Weird Oaf Yankovic?" "Freddie "Hemorrhoid Face" Davies? Ivor Cunt? Nickers Filthy? Olden Talentless?
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.