Chelsea Handler? What Happened to FUNNY Female Comedians?

She's boasted about being a tramp. One of her "ex-boyfriends" is creepy rapper 50-cent (ie, "Fiddy"). This kind of disgusting shit is what you'd expect from a Kardashian...not a comedian.

BUT...in a world where shock laughs count, Chelsea Handler has actually had a (very bad) talk show for SEVEN years. You'd think after SEVEN years, there would be enough highlights for a hilarious hour retrospective, but there are none. She and her repulsive sidekicks just spent SEVEN years "dishing" and being gross. The only clip anyone can point to, is "bathroom" humor: Chelsea naked, her 39 year-old tits drooping toward the shower drain, yelling at Conan O'Brien and doing dick jokes.

It wasn't funny at all, nor was it "awesome" (as retarded 15 year-old boys would say, of this "cougar"). The "big news" about this aggressively annoying slut, is she's ending her shitty show (unfortunately, to join the new monster, Netflix, with a "streaming" show) and she might...MIGHT have another naked shower scene for her finale. Ugh. By the way...the naked shower scene is censored so you can't really see just how droopy her tits actually are.

In promoting herself, she, of course, pulled a Kardashian and posed in her underwear. Christ, in this era of Victoria's Secret catalogs and even entire TV specials...is there ANYTHING that remarkable about seeing some bitch in her underwear?

Hideous bint, huh?

And what's that line about an Instagram pose in "just a bra and underwear." The entire outfit is underwear. What she has swathing her much-abused twat, is either called "panties" "underpants" or "knickers." The general term for an outfit like this, intended to shock and amaze, is "bra and panties." Writing "underwear," as I'm sure Chelsea (and don't you HATE that fucking overused first name) would agree...lowers the excitement value. But if she lowered her panties and went naked, that would lower the excitement value even more.

The rest of the tawdry story:

I wish I could say that the state of women in comedy was NOT reflected by this unfunny flap-owner, but like everything else in "pop culture," women comics are having to be as ridiculous as Katy Perry and Kardashian and Viley Virus to get attention. Aiming to be the new Joan Rivers, a very revolting and prune-faced horror called Kathy Griffin, made a big deal of showing up on talk shows ONLY to confess to being a slut, and do shock jokes about it. Authentic in her crass creepiness, this was no act. At least one male comic mentioned that he was propositioned by her within minutes: "I'm wet," she said. Oh, how pleasant. Since guys will even fuck mud (Lenny Bruce did a bit on this) the comic went to bed with her. True to her neurotic and obnoxious personality, she actually growled at him, "Stop looking at my ass," and after it was over, she wanted some foreplay for another round: a punch in the face. No, not HER getting punched in the face. She wanted to punch HIM in the face. "Why do you want to do that?" he asked. Naturally he got glowers and a riff on her insane anger toward men...shit that probably would've drawn gales of laughter from a nightclub stage.

Comedy is a fragile thing, and that's why so few of today's comedians travel well. Americans know nothing about "Chubby" Brown or whoever the fuck is spitting into a microphone in the UK these days. They only know actor-raconteur Gervais, and simpering ass pain Russell Bookie-Wook Faggy-Face Brand.

So, those overseas might not know the women I'm mentioning...and might be glad they don't.

I'll just add that in addition to horrifically unfunny Chelsea Handler and Kathy Griffin, there's the hemorrhoidal hollering Wanda Sykes, whom Jay Leno used to claim was the "funniest woman in the world." Not. Jay really needed to unclog his nose, as all the snot that was making his voice sound so peculiar was seeping into his brain. The big deal with Sykes is she's Negro. Black. So anything she rails about MUST be hilarious. All she has to do is yammer in dialect. Also offensive, but at least admitting to it, is Lisa Lampanelli, who bills herself as "Queen of Mean." Yep, she's an insult comic, but since she's fat and ugly, she doesn't spare herself. She gained her notoriety by being as tacky as Chelsea Handler, and bawling about all the black guys she fucked (because being a fat and ugly white woman IS going to attract black guys). Lisa at least tells actual jokes once in a while. But there you have it...today's female comics have to be vulgar and obnoxious like Viley Virus or the Kardashians, to get attention. It's a funny world...unless you're watching one of these bints doing dick jokes with the microphone.