Eric Idle Switches Places with Stephen Hawking for "Record Store Day"

Who is the "Minister of Silly Hawkings?"

It's zany ERIC IDLE, of Monty Python's Trying Circus.

Now 87, and still as funny as ever, Idle joked, "What could I do for 'Record Store Day' that would promote myself? Send each store a dead parrot? No, that's Cleese's bit. Offer tins of spam? No, that's more Terry Jones. Go around sucking cock? Ah, the late Graham Chapman! No, no, I realized that my most famous contributions have been my incredibly hilarious songs."

And so Eric took Stephen Hawkings' computer and programmed the crippled, damp-pants'd professor's words over one of his favorite songs: "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life."

Rather than subject Prof. Hawkings to the strain of making appearances in area record stores, Eric's created a knee-slapping impersonation, "The Minister of Silly Hawkings." Confined to a wheelchair, unable to do anything but grin stupidly and foul himself, The Minister is parked outside record stores in selected locations, while the grating electronic voice "sings" the lyrics:

"Some fuckers sure are blessed,
Others really make a mess,
Being gimped just makes you swear and curse!
When your face looks like pork gristle,
You can oink,
Or just whistle
Or just blink a bit if you've got A.L.S.
And...

Always look on yourself as so bright!
[whistle]
You're paralyzed but at least you are white!
[whistle]
If you're no longer dorking,
Then you must be Stephen Hawking,
So lie around like dirty laundry, drool and sit
When you're starting in to pout,
As Nursey wipes your mouth,
Make sure she wipes that hole down South

Caked with shit

And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Hate the Jews and backstab your poor wife
[whistle]

Eric Idle plans on a tour of Africa with re-written Python songs and sketches: "I Like Chinese And Never Make Fun of a Nigger who Might Also Be Muslim," "Boko Haram, Spam, Spam, Boko Haram, and 200 raped 14 Year-Old Girls," and "The Galaxy Song: Deep Space is Not As Black As A Somali Pirate's Face."

He laughs, "Poor taste has never affected our career. Neither has a lack of quotable jokes. Or that most everyone is tired of the fucking parrot sketch."

Making a deliberately inane face with a smirk that makes you just want to punch him, Eric waved "good bee" (ha, not goodbye) and said something or other about slapping a fish, or choking a chicken or Hilaire Belloc. Nudge nudge wink wink. Say no more!