Praise JESUS. Serena Williams wins. "FALL ON YOUR KNEES" girl!

As predicted...(just scroll down) a WILLIAMS sister wins, and our willowy lollipop-headed Sharapova loses.

Anyone really care that much?

It was a novelty that Serena won the French Open...eleven years after she last won it. That's one for the trivia books, because the whole thing is pretty trivial.

Ho hum.

And what have we here? OH, what a SURPRISE...this woman has won HOW many championships? She was ahead a set, was leading easily, and she's SURPRISED, SHOCKED and has to go to her KNEES because she won?

How many times do we have to see this bullshit phony display of relief, surprise, God-fearing devotion, or whatever the fuck it is, that makes a tennis player instantly fall down after the final point?

NO other sporting event has this. Boxers don't do it. Olympic athletes don't. Golfers don't. Yet tennis players, who play dozens and dozens of tournaments a year, have to drop to the ground like they can't believe what happened, and it's such a relief, and a gift of God....

Sometimes the player's coach actually can be seen giving the signal: "GO DOWN!" Just to make sure the player gets that face-time moment of joy, humility and fakery.

Oh yes...and all through the game, the fucking fist-pump. The fucking fist-pump from a TENNIS player. Even MMA champs don't do it as often as these idiot tennis players! And in the stands...the idiot tennis players' family and coach and friends all fist-pump, too. Even psycho Islamic terrorists don't do it as much!

Nothing in the 6-4 6-4 victory for Williams was particularly thrilling, new, interesting or exciting. The one thing that I thought might be amusing...Serena speaking in French to the crowd, was not shown because of TV commercials! By the time the TV commercials were over, Sharapova was talking (in English) about "I'll be back next year." Oh, how quotable, Maria.

Fist-pump. Fall down. Zzzzzz.