BEYONCE PIRATED - $3 MILLION LOST. HO HUM. LAH DEE DAH

Billboard's reported that a quarter million illegal copies of Beyonce's album have been downloaded.

Funny isn't it, that they and the record labels have the tools to know exactly how many copies have been "shared." It's a real laugh riot that they don't seem to have the tools, or interest, in doing anything about it.

What better way to send the message of: "We're all making a fortune, you have every right to use that as an excuse to steal from us." Which is like saying it's ok to rape porn stars. Or something like that.

You'll notice the lame shrug that people who pirate music might not actually buy it anyway.

The fact is, they are listening to it. Free. Instead of listening to music they BOUGHT they are listening to music they STOLE. Is that too difficult to understand? The more you get free, the less you buy.

You wonder why today's kids are such monsters? They're being told to ignore copyright, ignore law, take what you want, and everybody's looking the other way. This is a good thing? Well, then, so is Internet bullying, floating your ex-lover's nude photos to a hate site, "spoofing" to get somebody's credit card or e-mail password, etc. etc.

Billboard and the rest are telling the world to accept organized crime bosses who run torrents, ignore millionaire Germans like Kim Dotcom who take the royalties artists should have and keep it for themselves, and to pat Google on the back for having YouTube where people get paid chump change (as Megaupload was doing, as various file lockers do) to upload copyrighted material.

Beyonce's office doesn't seem to have anyone sending in DMCA's or prosecuting the infamous file sharing sites that allow this crap to go on.

And whatever became of Sony's case against some Swedish meatball who tossed one of her albums up to Pirate Bay? Here's a story with no ending...

Maybe the answer is that last line? Track some of these assholes down, and all they get is a slap on the wrist and "community service."

The reason for that, is lax DMCA laws. Hey, Beyonce Bitch, why not work on that, instead of showing off your wealth? You act like if somebody stole your car, your HD TV or your fur coat, you'd just laugh and say, "That thief is ok with me, 'cause I'm gonna sashay into the store and buy a new one. Don't ask me to look at mug files or prosecute if you even catch the dude." Hmm. Beyonce, instead of twerking, or prancing all around a department store announcing she was giving away $50,000 to the shoppers who happened to be in there...announce: "I want Obama to pass a strong new DMCA law."

Beyonce, gather up the rest of the other bitches...Madonna, Viley Virus, Gaga...and say, "We need a legal tampon to stop the leaks. Our latest music shouldn't be all over the bloody Internet. It's time to strike." Yes, strike. Literally. Go on strike. Tell the world: "We either get the leaders of the countries to crack down, or we do not perform." Beyonce, you cunt, you have enough money already to pull a strike. Don't you understand that your SISTAHS out there...Darlene Love, maybe, or Kate Bush, or Lesley Gore...might really need the royalties they are being deprived of? Or indie artists, the Nanci Griffiths and Katy Moffatt types? Maybe some old jazz artists of the Abbey Lincoln or Etta James variety might need to pay some fucking medical bills? What's wrong with artists getting royalties, and what's so right about saying Internet idiots should get that money instead, or "nice comments" for giving it away? If YOU wanna give it away, that's your choice, not Zinfuck's.

Notice how calmly Billboard reports on the losses. Oh well. Lah dee dah. No wonder people are offering Christmas messages of cheer and worship to Internet fools: "Oh, Zin, Merry Christmas, thank you FOR ALL YOUR HARD WORK." Right. Such a charitable guy with other peoples' work. He and Kim Dotcom, Mr. Kickass, and Mr. Anonymous Alcoholic-Who-Runs-a-Forum. This past holiday season, they all took turns being the Jesus of Cool. "Oooh, the new Clapton set" "Ooooooh, the new Beach Boys set." Post all this shit and get those NICE comments. Ooooh ooh, and some money from Google, or Weaselshare or whoever is hosting the shit for you.

As long as we're all figuring this is a victimless crime, and morality isn't something to teach our children, and what "freedom of speech" really is (it's not throwing music around for free), how about a new variation on platinum awards? Call it...SHIT. "Beyonce's album has gone SHIT...for over 250,000 copies NOT sold, just PIRATED. Congratulations, Beyonce, here's your turd statuette. Who wouldn't want an award instead of money?"

Beyonce is the lucky one. She doesn't have to choose between an award and money, between pawning a Grammy and paying the rent.

Beyonce Bitch can choose to book a show date for the weekend, and not tur it down because she has to clean somebody's home on the weekend instead, to supplement her social security. Or do we forget the obituaries where we read about a singer or songwriter who ended up a janitor, or a maid, or a secretary...or who died in poverty?

One thing we've learned in the 21st Century is that "ALL IS PERMITTED," and whatever you want, you should get. That's all the rationalization you need. "I want it."

Me, I did NOT download the new Beyonce album.

It would be unethical. It would be stealing. It would be immoral. It...

...oh, for fuck's sake, I didn't do it because I DO NOT WANT IT.