NAPSTER LAWYER GONE: WOO HOO, DEATH IS FREE!

DEATH is FREE!

Listen, if you're upset that a guy who made money off NAPSTER has died, here's what you do...

SEND AN E-CONDOLENCE CARD.

Why spend MONEY on FLOWERS or something?

Hopefully this guy's family will do the right thing...and dig up a body from some obscure graveyard, and STEAL THE COFFIN.

Yeah! Woo hoo! Dump the body back in the dirt hole and cover it up. Hell, nobody's visiting that person anymore. Once a person dies, it's OVER, just like, um, after somebody makes an album, or writes a book, or produces a film. It's done. You made some money. Now it's public domain. Copyright is COPY WRONG. It shouldn't exist, and most certainly not for more than a year or two.

So you take the stolen coffin, put the DEAD GUY FROM NAPSTER in it, and...

NO FUNERAL. That costs money. Funerals should be FREE!

Just take the dead body, in the stolen coffin, and OCCUPY A FUNERAL HOME. E-mail everyone who wants to attend.

If you don't have the guts to OCCUPY A FUNERAL HOME, just take the dead body, in the stolen coffin, hijack a boat off a marina (yo ho ho you PIRATE), and do a BURIAL AT SEA. Kerrr...PLONK!

Then you put the boat back, and if anybody is waiting for you with a complaint, you say, "Hey, I was just SHARING the boat. I didn't steal it. And here it is, back again. What IS your problem?"

OH.

Another thing you can do. Just set fire to the fucker. If he isn't burning right, shoplift some alcohol or gasoline or something from Wal-Mart or Tesco.

Once he's nothing but ashes...BUY A T-SHIRT. You can afford one. It might only be a few dollars. Maybe get one used at a boot sale, Lord.

Take the ashes, gather them up in the t-shirt, and stitch the t-shirt closed. The t-shirt should have, if you're good with a SHARPIE PEN, the deceased's name on it. Then you just, you know, put it on a shelf where you used to have CD's and DVDs or vinyl albums or books. SOMETHING should be on the fucking shelf besides that 2 TB hard drive you're so proud of.

Make it the deceased.

And remember, if DEATH IS FREE, then why shouldn't most anything else be in life?

Good ol' NAPSTER.

Karma isn't always instant, is it?