Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Beatles Basher MARIAH CAREY has a SMALL OPENING. Really?

Gee, the great (grating) Mariah Carey...another unoriginal yowler of the Whitney Shitney school...just put out a new album.

But here'a surprise...

Good news, isn't it? Either people are coming to their senses, or piracy is truly rampant even among the dumb ignorant illiterate assholes who make up the Mariah Carey fanbase. While racists like Hans Demented and Zinfuck don't like blacks and want the maximum "you rule, you are God, oooh thank you" for each upload, there are plenty of places to DL any of Mariah's vocal diarrhea.

I didn't think Mariah Carey's small opening had to do with her mouth, cunt or asshole...as Mottola was followed by Nick Cannon, who must be aptly named. Mariah's also had kids. Which means when she's in a plane, and the pilot calls out, "To your left is the Grand Canyon," everyone looks between her legs.

A few days ago, I had the misfortune to channel surf and see that huge horizontal chunk of shit with a hat on, "Cedric the Entertainer." He had to call himself "the Entertainer" because otherwise, you'd never know. To me, he's just an overbearing porcine fake gangsta asshole. He has all the charm of used toilet paper.

He hosts "Who Wants to be a Millionaire...and suffer a square-headed turd as the master of ceremonies." The question, which was so provocative I didn't instantly switch the moron off, was something about who is close to breaking a Beatles record for #1 songs. The multiple choice listed Madonna, who has been around for 40 years (hasn't she). I thought it was her. I actually have a "greatest hits" album of hers. She actually had hits.

NO...the correct answer (the contestant missed it, too) was MARIAH FUCKING CAREY.

Her music is such garbage, I can't even name ONE song of hers. Not one. With Madonna, some of her crap was unavoidable. Even if you hated her, you'd be able to name at least ONE song. "Like a Prayer" maybe. "Like a Virgin." Like, something, even if you didn't like it.

But this fucking MARIAH twat...she's just another idiot to me...Beyonce, whatever. The only reason I know ONE song by Rihanna is that it was so incredibly stupid and people were loving it so much, it was hard to ignore "Umbrella." ELLA. ELLA. ELLA. ELLA. ELLA.

There have been SO FEW good, or even memorable songs in the past 10 or 20 years. If you showed me the Billboard charts of hit songs, I doubt I could sing or hum one out of 10 for any week since the 90's. Maybe even since the 80's.

Maybe I'm not supposed to. But I seem to remember a time when everybody enjoyed Top 10 songs. Gramps got a kick out of "Witch Doctor" and "Purple People Eater," and could wax sorrowful listening to "Yesterday." Spoiled brats might not have loved "Moon River" or all that Acker Bilk stuff, but they wouldn't have to leave the room with hands over ears because it was detestable. Now?

Mariah Carey toppled the Beatles in having the most weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 Singles Chart ("Heartbreaker," an apt title) and was the only singer to have a No. 1 single each year in the 1990s. The Beatles didn't even do that...they missed the early 60's and were gone by the 70's. Presley also didn't manage a decade of #1's. JEEZ.

MARIA fucking CAREY close to, and in some areas TOPPING records by THE BEATLES???

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