"I LIKE CHINESE...they only come up to your knees..."

You remember the cheerful Eric Idle song about the Chinese?

As opposed to every other cheerful Eric Idle song about disease, famine, death and man's insignificance?

Well in the "I Like Chinese" song, he professed to love the Chinese. And if YOU do, then here's good news...

Ah so...MORE Chinese to love! Mountains and mountains of them!

You know China, the Communist nation that doesn't believe in copyright and floods the world with fake Gucci bags and Apple computers? The country that cheats at the Olympics? The country that abuses children and throws them into factories to make sneakers? The country that is so polluted citizens simply walk around with masks over their faces?

Even with the rule that you can't breed more than one new China-thing per couple, they just don't have room for 'em all, and so they're urban-sprawling into the mountains. Soon, aside from The Great Wall, the only other thing you could see from Outer Space...are CHINESE...a big yellow bald-spot peaking through the clouds, where CHINESE are literally standing alongside each other like penguins. They'll eat like penguins, too...helicopters will dangle huge nets of raw sardines, and periodically let them go, spraying the area with these fishy projectiles. OPEN MOUTHS, CHINA PEOPLE...NOW SWALLOW!

The good news for US is that we'll have more fake American products to buy, stabbing our own people in the back. We'll have more immigrants glaring at us and stubbornly refusing to speak English. We'll have...aw, less pork.

Did you know that China accounts for HALF the world's pork consumption? The best we can do is build some more hog farms (with all that lovely pollution caused by pig shit running into our rivers and streams) so we can be hog butcher to...CHINA.

Like everything else, it's only going to get worse. There are nice Chinese. There are Chinese who hate their government (as much as we hate ours) and can't do a damn thing about it. Worse, if they do, they'll get killed. With us, we just get ignored.

Chinese take-away is not an order of Chow Fun. It's taking away mountains, vegetation, the last areas of clean air...and replacing them with...CHINESE.