Thursday, September 18, 2014

Joe Besser? ISIS, HAMAS, BOKO HARAM...

Do people realize they are going to die?

ISIS, HAMAS, BOKO HARAM and the rest...are out to prove it, and quick.

Maybe it's human nature that the more dire and real the problems of our world are...the more idiots will stick their ostrich heads in the sand and obsess on trivialities.

The strangest phenomena is when assholes can't derive their inane pleasure from commonplace shit like Marilyn Monroe or Elvis Presley, or slightly more specialized shit like "Dr. Who" and "Star Trek." No, they go far deeper for their "hobby." They need to become the torch-bearer for something utterly pointless (like collecting spoons) or for somebody ridiculous...like...

JOE FUCKING BESSER.

Farcebook is home to so many stupid, stupid fan pages...but let's pull this one up at random. Who the hell was Besser? He did a "sissy" act. As did Kenneth Williams on the other side of the pond. But unlike Williams, who was a star of the "Carry On" series, a raconteur, and an author, Besser was mostly a second banana.

He's unknown to most people on the planet. Some, well over 50, would know that he played "Stinky" (in a Little Lord Fauntelroy outfit) in a few episodes of Abbott & Costello's TV show. Yes, they found somebody who could act even more infantile than Lou Costello. For a whole two years, he was a replacement third Stooge. When Shemp died, two years left on the contract, Columbia tossed Joe Besser at Moe and Larry. It was pretty queasy for fans to watch a "sissy" fussing and whining and doing little more than pinching his two adult roommates. Most Stooges fans can't stand him and don't watch the feeble shorts he made before Joe DeRita took over and "the boys" made feature films.

Now, to be a fan of Kenneth Williams is one thing...to create a Farcebook page for him is bordering on idiocy. He wrote a few books. Read 'em. He made films. Watch 'em. What ELSE do you want to do? How many times a week are you going to spend recalling him saying "Ewwww" while looking at tits? How many hours do you want to spend posting photos of how he looked in some obscure show that wasn't filmed or audio-recorded? How many hours, commenting with a few other forlorn idiots, do you devote to analyzing why a gay guy looking up or down his nose at TITS was so funny? Isn't that being a little anal? A little ridiculous?

It's even sillier with someone like JOE BESSER, who didn't have an interesting life or death, and had a very limited range of comic skills that he displayed over and over in the same way.

And he's DEAD.

Putting up a fucking "tribute" to some LIVING B-movie actor, actress or D-list teen idol like Bobby Rydell or Diane Renay...at least the star involved can appreciate the fact that anyone thinks of them as remarkable. There might even be some money to be made, as in, "Hey, I saw a page on Diane Renay. Didn't know she was alive. It says she likes to get fan mail, and for $15 she'll autograph a photo you send."

But if you're going to be on the planet a short amount of time...if you could drop dead at any moment...do you really have NOTHING better to do than obsess on JOE FUCKING BESSER...and do it so badly?

It's one thing to dig up somebody forgotten and discover a goldmine of insanity...like Edward D. Wood Jr, or his brief femme fatale star in "Plan 9," the oddball actress known as Vampira. But...BESSER has no story. No dimension. He was a nice guy who played an effeminate idiot who whined a lot and would squeal "Not so loud" and "Not so fast" and "Not so..." whatever was going on. SO?

This Farcebook tribute to him, which has amassed a few hundred people who need to get a life before they die, features periodic lame new entries. The desperation and the stupidity...

Unbelievable, isn't it? It's like the blogs where idiots talk about how they walked their dog this morning, how they found a record at a boot sale, how they had a nice sandwich...

Eli Wallach died. That's a reason to post that Besser "never worked with Eli Wallach." WOW!

This clod goes to California to visit his embarrassed spawn...and all he can think to do is find a cheap hash house that BESSER ate in? As if the food is the same? Anyone remembers him? There's some psychic energy emanating from the booth he sat in??

And you can BET this sorry loser DID ask everyone, "Did BESSER have a FAVORITE BOOTH???"

Last but very much NOT least, as there are so many more inane entries...this clown has to go pester some prune and ask her all about...JOE BESSER.

And what is the result? A very depressing mug shot of this 89 year-old holding up a photo with the same mute chagrin as if it was her arrest sheet for prostitution.

And what, in the depths of this fool's ignorance, does he have to say about her? "She remembers Joe fondly." What a journalist.

It's pretty bizarre what some people cherish...how some people waste their time...how the average person embraces mediocrity and makes it a way of life.

Some people insist, "Live every day as if it was your last." No, that's a bit hard to do. It puts a lot of pressure on you. But "Live every day like you're not going to die..." is also stupid.

I think one of the saddest things in the world is being unable to answer the question, "Don't you have something better to do?"

What's the response? "I run a fan page for JOE BESSER..." That's not being dead or alive. That's Limbo.

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