Bill: "We Failed on Kickstarter"

"Backers," Bill gurgles, "we needed backers! All that was stopping me from being a true theater impresario was backers! This could've been the greatest musical since "Pussies." I mean, "Cats."

He was referring to...

The show seemed like a sure thing. It exploited the most popular trends in pop culture: embracing retards, anorexics, autistics and downright clueless morons.

"Maybe we needed niggas," Bill whispers. "At least a few spics. Some women in burqas. Let's face it, I guess it was old-fashioned to have three white people. Or, two white people and a Yetti. Or whatever the hell Knickerless is."

Bill couldn't help getting a dig in. "I put this on Kickstarter before I started my Gurgle record label, and before he was kicked off the label. But I thought he had the show stopper with "Fuck Off Obama." I mean, that song had two chord changes!"

There was also friction between the leading ladies. Upstart pasty-faced anorexic Saskia somehow got top billing over teasing little tart and downright clueless moron Shauna. "It was a toss up," admits Bill, wiping the vomit off his lips with a spare nappy, "You know how these Broadway fags are. They are very picky about such things as being able to play a musical instrument. Saskia, you have to admit, plays a guitar better than Shauna. Shauna strums her pussy lips better and is an expert shaver, but gays on Broadway don't want to see that sort of thing."

In the end, the campaign was not helped by Saskia admitting, "The show should be FREEEEEEE, and just sort of, pay what you want. Toss some coins, some buttons, some tossed salad..."

"I came close," Bill says. "The Great White Way? I missed it. But the Great White Whale? That's ME! I've even got a blow hole that just won't stop! Oooops...nappy changing time!"