NOT KANYE, NOT KIM, NOT "KIMYE" - THIS BELONGS ON EVERY FRONT PAGE

What's on the cover of most newspapers today?

What's the big focus on most internet newspaper websites today?

KANYE the anus-lipped braggart, his "girl" KIM, or some stupid shit about both of them, calling them "KIMYE"

Or else the NEWSPAPER is offering "entertainment" about Viley, Nikki, Lindsay, Bieber or some other shit head.

Maybe the big news is a photo of some starlet's "baby bump" or who is the "baby daddy."

If it's not celeb drivel it could be the usual bombing, home invasion atrocity or homicidal attack or rape committed by some homeless lunatic. Or it could be the latest triumph as one more state or country gives gays the change to marrrrr-eeeeeeee. Woo hoo woo hoooooo! <:P> THIS...

THIS is the picture that belongs on every cover.

This is what can happen to a fucking moron who grabs an assault rifle and goes out in his bullet proof vest to shoot innocent people.

This is Paul, the cowardly piece of shit who shot up LAX airport.

He didn't get to kill himself. He didn't get to hurry away into the arms of a lawyer who'd tell the world he was just confused and should be coddled somewhere for the rest of his life (and respect his privacy).

He got shot in the fucking face and if he survives, he's not gonna have groupies visiting him in prison begging him to get married.

He looks a little surprised, doesn't he.

He thought he'd write his Banksy graffiti drivel (a "Fuck You" literally to some government official he didn't like, adding that she was a "bull dyke") then go shoot up innocent people and then grandly kill himself in a blaze of glory.

No...his bullet proof outfit didn't shield his fucking face.

Sic Semper Tyrannis.

Those words were allegedly shouted from the stage by John Wilkes Booth.

The reality, at least ONCE, is that the assassin gets what he deserves. EVER THUS TO TYRANT lunatics who think they can shoot unarmed people and be proclaimed as avenging heroes.

Fuck YOU, Paul. May you not die...may you live to suck your meals through a straw for the rest of your fucked up life.

THIS is the picture that people need to see. Not fat-ass Kim, not little twat Miley, not sour-face anus-mouth Kanye....THIS FACE. Let everyone sane enough to plot murder...take a look at what their reality just might be. Let them see that their grand plans can backfire, and that the hurt they want to inflict on innocent people will come back to bite 'em right in the fucking face.

THIS picture should be on lamp posts and bus shelters and t-shirts. THIS PICTURE should be on blogs that are giving away every Beach Boys album and every porn movie. THIS PICTURE.

Bobblehead JUSTIN BIEBER...ASS HAT

One of the dopiest terms in American slang is "Ass Hat."

How did it come to be? What the fuck does it even mean?

Whoever coined it, whoever popularized it...at least NOW there's a good reason to use it.

Justin Bieber wears an ass hat.

Justin Bieber IS an ass hat.

This bobble-head punk moron walks around like the insipid vanilla Canadian androgyne that he is...with a dopey backwards baseball cap perched like a mushroom atop a shit pile.

One day a rapper is going to knock that hat off Bieber's pasty girly face, and then finish him off.

Some hope it isn't a rapper who gets to Ass Hat Bieber...but a Muslim fanatic with a bomb.

After all, Muslims don't like decadence, Godlessness, Capitalist scumbags and perverted millionaire creeps...

Blow up Bieber and that sends a message to all the dimwitted brats under 20 who think being an arrogant punk and a rich-bitch coward is a good thing.

Bieber fans are a million impressionable white idiots who don't give a fuck about buildings collapsing, planes getting destroyed, or anything else. They don't care about serious issues in the real world. THEY HAVE BIEBER so the world is OK. BLOW BIEBER THE FUCK UP, and that's one hell of a statement.

Suddenly the new generation is stunned. They'll wonder what the fuck Islam is about. What the deal is with Arab anger and how it relates to oil and greed as much as Allah lunacy and backward fundamentalism.

As for the story of Bieber going into a Brazilian brothel...good. He probably was there asking whores to teach him how to suck cock. He's obviously failed at impressing Selena Gomez with his sexual abilities. So, toothpick-dick can take a lesson from Selena's LATINAs and learn how to please his black bodyguards.

Hopefully Bieber will continue to go wandering around in seedy areas of Brazil.

Brazilians are among the most violent people in the world. Just a few days ago they ripped the head off a soccer player, gouged out the eyes, pulled out the tongue, and sent that mess to his wife in a bowling bag. NICE PEOPLE.

So with any luck, some thug, some whore, some Brazilian psycho, will take offense to an androgyne pussy pop star poncing around...and gouge out his eyes, pull out his tongue, and leave his fucking head in a bowling bag someplace.

It's one thing for a guy named Justin to sing awful music that is adored by millions of mongoloid morons and twat-heads. That would be Justin Timberlake.

It's another for a guy named Justin to sing awful music and be so full of himself that he struts around the world showing off, being obnoxious, hiding behind his "posse" as he insults presidents and pisses in public.

Ass Hat.

You know what the obit will be if Justin Bieber dies tomorrow? Four words...

THERE IS A GOD.

Rotten Stodden - Who the Fuck Cares About This Whorey-Looking Twat?

WHY is this a headline in any mainstream newspaper?

It belongs in a trade publication aimed at vacuum cleaner salesmen.

These are a pair of dirt bags.

IRONSIDE RUSTS...the CURSE of THE BLOG

You read it here long ago...a raging FUCK OFF to the remake of IRONSIDE.

And now...

It's canceled.

Hollywood may have learned that you can't have a hit just because you've given a BLACK person the starring role. True, black viewership is up when it comes to the free TV channels, but they aren't gonna watch EVERYTHING that has a black lead. Especially not when the lead is just sittin' on a chair like it's the dock o' the bay.

Don't expect whites to believe a black guy can solve crimes with his wits and not his fists. Besides, the whites are watching the expensive cable stations, or defiantly dialing up PBS and watching those shitty British "culture" and "masterpiece" shows like Downton Abbey, and/or the 90th variation on Sherlock Holmes with some sickly gay guy taking the lead.

The only way this fuck-up show could've worked is if it was a black woman in the lead, and in the second episode she was miraculously cured...so she could stand up and twerk...erasing the criminals with her giant rubbery boot-ayyyy.

Paul Anthony Ciancia Shoots Off His Mouth - Gets Shot in the Mouth

Paul Anthony Ciancia? Who?

Oh, just another "let's give his FULL NAME" assassin asshole, another crazy who easily got access to a rifle.

Oh yes...and his idiot family and friends had no idea he'd do something rash.

Like go into LAX airport in Los Angeles and walk around in a coward's bullet-proof vest while hunting TSA officers to kill.

He wasn't totally nuts. As he meandered about, calling out "TSA? TSA?" to people, if they didn't say yes, he let them pass. But when he did find a TSA officer in uniform. BANG.

What makes THIS particular pointless shooting more entertaining than the average one in the paper almost every day...is THIS asshole didn't kill himself, and wasn't killed by police.

At the moment, he's alive, in custody, but with "horrific" injuries.

GOOD.

He got shot in the mouth. Hopefully that will shut him the fuck up for the rest of his life in prison. And no, when you're shot in the mouth, AND in prison, maybe, just maybe, you won't have some drippy-twat groupie visiting every day and mewing about wanting to get married.

The news media loves Paul...they ran a LOT of pictures of him. He's the most photogenic psychopathic gunman since that Muslim Mongrel up in Boston.

You get only ONE picture here. That's more than enough. Some newspaper websites ran a half dozen. Every picture they could find. They also had to knee jerk about what made him go crazy, what his "philosophy" is, and by giving a coward all the attention possible, encourage more of them.

The good news is that unlike the prick in Colorado or the dick in Arizona, and most of the rest...THIS asshole got shot, and perhaps may actually SUFFER (no, the Boston Baby is all healed up, thank you, and fielding his marriage requests and whining that he doesn't like his cell...)

You don't like TSA officers, PAUL ANTHONY CIANCIA?

Well...TSA. TOUGH SHIT, ASSHOLE!

May you brush your teeth with a sponge for the rest of your life. The three teeth you might have left.

Hey MEDIAITE.COM...GROW THE FUCK UP, YOU TITTERING TWITS

Jesus, what a nerd this Andrew Kirell is. What a juvenile. Grow UP, ANDREW KIRELL!

This idiot from the website MEDIAITE is even more stupid than the pack of snorting pin-head weasels who guffaw with Fagin-esque creep Harvey Levin at TMZ, or the tittering fairies who gather around the apron of Mama Perez Hilton.

How sad that these Internet idiots have to spend each day sniffing at every tweet, every film clip, every TV show, every Reuters photo looking for some bit of nothing they can point to and blow out of all proportion

RUB...OOOOOOOH, Joel Osteen said RUB! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Get it? RUB? WOO HOO! WOO HOO!

This reminds me of the Flanders & Swann song about little kids getting into a frenzy of delight over "Pee Po Belly Bum Drawers."

Osteen, one of the less offensive religious fanatic morons on television, didn't say anything remotely sexual...take it from somebody who knows a double entendre when he sees one.

When you have to actually write: "GET IT? BECAUSE MASTURBATION," then it's NOT FUNNY, NOT THAT OBVIOUS, AND NOT WORTH A HEADLINE ABOUT A "HILARIOUSLY UNINTENTIONAL MASTURBATION TWEET."

It wasn't hilarious. It wasn't a masturbation tweet, and only an idiot would insist that any time someone says "rub" it's an "unintentional" sexual reference.

You want a masturbation joke about "rub?" Here's one from 50 years ago. Jackie Mason: "My girlfriend...she rubs me the wrong way. But I don't make an issue..."

There ya go, Andrew Kirell, you jack off. Now change your undies, little boy, wipe your snotty nose and drooling mouth...and stick your head in a toilet and FLUSH.