Shavin' 'round the Cunt Well

"Get sick, have hell, shave around the cunt well,
No smell, can't tell if anything is gonna sell,
Try hard, get bought, get back, write braille,
Get jail, jump bail, wax yer pussy if ya fail...
IT'S OFFICIAL:

Given the margin of error in surveys like this, it still seems that HALF of American women shave their entire TWATS.

The article offered a few interviews with cunt owners who claimed that guys find pubic hair "gross," and 20% believe that a shaved twat is essential for oral sex. And yes, two big reasons for shaving are a) that the Kardashians and other celebrities obviously do it (as do most porn "stars") and b) it's "hygienic."

Quoting further: Though a common misconception, the idea that hairless is somehow hygienic isn’t rooted in any real science. (So much for that education.) “It might feel ‘cleaner’ — but that’s like saying shaving your head bald makes your head cleaner than if you have long, wavy hair,” said Dr. Fahimeh Sasan, Assistant Professor of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Science at Mount Sinai. (Which it doesn’t.) “As long as you wash yourself every day and change your underwear, you’re going to be just as clean.”

If anything, choosing to wax or shave your delicate bits can risk minor injury, mostly commonly cuts, ingrown hairs and burns. Some more severe side effects can include allergic reactions to products, and vulvar and vaginal infections, or some researchers suggest that nicks and razor burn may help spread STIs. (Per JAMA, shaving was the preferred depilation method by far — 73% reported using razors, while only 5% waxed.)

Shauna Cuntwell Running For PM

"Lord, Shauna, you crazy twat, what have you done??"

"My hair! I've had my hair done! I loveeeee it!"

"Your point?"

"You can't see my pointed head. My new style is soooooo good!"

"I mean, what ARE you trying to do?"

"I am running for PM. I can't believe Boris Johnson was going to try for that job. I mean, PM is something only women know about: Pre-Menstrual. You know, that crampy feeling, and you keep checking your knickers for spots?"

"Idiot! Can you even be elected? What part of Ireland are you from?"

"All of me."

"Do you know the difference between NORTH and SOUTH?"

"Of course, silly. North is where my tits aren't, and South is where my twat hair isn't."

"This is all for publicity isn't it? You're a PM...a Publicity Moron."

"Aw, it was my manager Bill's idea. If I start making speeches and things, I'll say "Guyyyssss, if you really want to support me, hit up my GOOTUBE videos, and BUYYYEEEEEEEE my iTunes songs!"

"Christ. Do you even know what the political parties are?"

"Any party is fine with me. Just inviteeeee meeeee. I'll sing an Ariana Grandeeeeee!"

"You have to write down what party, idiot. Here's a piece of paper. WRITE SOMETHING."

"T-O-R-I."

"What? What kind of spelling is that?"

"Tori Spelling! She's an inspiration to me. Such a smart blond! Too bad she doesn't sing like Taylor Swift..."

"Say goodbye, Shauna."

"Byeeeeeee!! Listen, I don't have to be Tori. One day somebody will knock me up and I'll go into Labour..."

"If I want to hear old jokes I'll phone your manager Bill."

Times Square Briefly Turns from Desnudas Whores to a Naked Fag

"There's always something going on in the town of Berserk!"

Oh. That was Spike Milligan. And he was referring to an actual town, not a nickname for New York City.

HERE we are...

To the amusement of many this morning, the big news from the Big Apple was some chorus boy-wanna be with shaved pubes dancing around the TKTS booth for 45 minutes, ranting mostly about his mother, his love of choreographers, and (just to be timely) Donald Trump. As in: "Donald Trump Where Are You?" Answer: as far from a disgusting psycho-faggot like you as possible. (That's The Donald talking, not me.)

I suppose those who want to look for 'em, can find the uncensored pix on some heartless news websites like The Faggotr, the Homosexualr, Today's M'ron who Doesn't Believe on the K'ron, etc. etc.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I was glad that after they set up the Bouncy Castle for this fruitcake, he jumped and missed it.

The Fuckhead obviously is in athletic shape, was not THAT far off the ground, and survived with probably only a few scrapes.

If you watch the various videos on Twatter and Farcebook, this fag is an attention-seeking brat, a real nuisance, jumping up and down, proclaiming to the cops and the world, strutting back and forth, and putting on a real Broadway show.

It's sad that this guy went bonkers so early in the morning, throwing his hissy fit, but I don't think he'd advance to the next round of "America's Got Crazies."

Heidi? "He's got a great body! Woof! But it's a NO from me..."

Simon? "Here's the thing, you, whatever your name is. I'm not convinced you're really crazy, and what could you possibly do in the next round? Jump from a greater height? The higher you go, the less we'll see of your genitalia, so what's the point? There are better acrobats, you didn't do a spin or a somersault on the way down, and you don't sing. SORRY!"

Nigga be Shittin' in Somebody ELSE'S Pants

Oh the fun of bein' a Nigga. Yock yock yock.

You just wander around pushing white people, spitting and cursing at white people, grinning insanely and demanding money from white people, and if you see some nice Upper East Side blonde lady, get your rubber glove and...

Ha ha ho ho hee hee.

If he does get caught, he'll get free room and board for a few months.

The only surprise is this maniac managed to find a rubber glove so he didn't soil his own brown hand when he slid it down the woman's backside.

You can almost imagine a non-helpful passerby like Seniormole or Lord of the Boot Sale, huffing, "Why is that nigger hurling his poo? The woman must've been a racist. Nevermind. I have important things to do, like downloading free music, or uploading music because today isn't my night to go suck cock at Pleasuredome in London."

Missing, Yes. Desirable, Maybe Not

It's a sad situation when girls go missing, but...

Most of the time the drug-addled sluts simply disappear with some moron and set up in a low rent shack where they can do meth and breed monsters.

It's a bit presumptuous to think that ugly, often simian creatures could EVER make a living via prostitution.

Look at some of these ridiculous twats. How about the Zulu who has to keep up the stereotypes by not only looking like a gorilla but stapling on a nose ring?

These are all posed shots, which gives you a good idea of how revolting they look when they're trying to be sexy! So who'd PAY for them? NOBODY.

No normal man would go near 'em, and the ones that would be attracted would be able to get a similarly gruesome girl for free, or for a vial of crack.

They're missing. Too bad. Most are off somewhere breeding. And most come from families where missing one or two or even three brats out of 9 or 10 is no big deal.

This message brought you by The Mean, Ornery Realists of Empathy. MORE?

Android Wetter vs Unauthorized Pussy

It's little Big Man.

Android, the guy who is worth BILLIONS and has the longest running Broadway show (still going on, too), stood on a few phone books in a court, and bleated "No fair!"

About what?

About (ha ha ho ho hee hee) "fair use." Actual FAIR USE.

It's been determined that in these lax-ative times, anyone can take anyone's shit and parody it. At worst, you have to pay to license the music.

"NO!" squeals little piglet Android, wetting himself. "Not when it comes to MY shit!"

Android Wetter has ALL the money, so he can bankrupt anyone with litigation. So the opposition crumbles.

I can't see why anyone would spend good money just to hear catty, faggy parodies about the Kuntrashian twats. But if faggots want to hear "Meowmeries" about Kim, Khloe and Kunty or whoever, is it really skin off Android's pussy?

How is he being "damaged" here? Isn't he MAKING MORE MONEY if he's getting paid for the music?

How lucky it is for maybe a dozen or so songwriters on the planet, that they can intimidate anyone into demanding permission to parody or even COVER one of their songs.

Everyone else, Dear Yoko, can do nothing but go on Twitter and peep "DMCA laws are antiquated."

Waking The Dead on EBAY

You're feeling sad. Your loved one is terminal. Time to buy an urn for the ashes.

Why not check EBAY for a bargain, over the price from a funeral home?

Just go to the category for crematory urns and see...

Yes, the lovable Mr. Vass, much warned, was told over and over NOT to offer adult magazines that kids could buy.

He posted over 500 a few months ago in the magazine section where people look for old sci-fi stuff, National Geographic or teen pop mags.

Ebay could've removed them for him. They let him keep stalling and making sales. They "warned" him to take down the offending items.

Then they allowed him to re-list all over again in a highly inappropriate category.

This asshole figured if people were checking the magazine category to remove nasty mags, he could outsmart everyone by sneaking everything into another category. Like one involved with dead people turned to dust!?!?

When people type in "Barely Legal" they find this shit wherever it is, but this MORON didn't realize it?

Meanwhile, you get the idea that despite being an Internet bully along with Google and Amazon, and controlling the auction field with almost no competition, EBAY still has to be PRICKS

Their CEO's make millions, they have got plenty of employees to handle complaints, and they charge obnoxious percentages to sell on their site...and they still ignore blatantly offensive auctions. They still pick and choose which ones they'll even escalate for a takedown or warning.

It's one thing to hide behind "we're just a venue, YOU have to report it." It's another when reports are ignored or the seller is given a slap on the wrist time after time.

Meanwhile, the STINKY KNICKERS SQUAD continues, and their unofficial mascot has to be THIS insane and ugly bint.

Offensive illegal auction title. CHECK.

Offensive seller ID name. CHECK.

Gruesome photo of a nauseating whore. CHECK.

Disgusting ad copy about "Mommy juices." CHECK

Here she is, folks, EBAY's candidate for SELLER OF THE YEAR.

Er, SMELLER OF THE YEAR.

How much to play "Eye of the Tiger?" $25,000, CHUMP!

In a rare example of copyright being enforced in court, with punitive damages, the composer of "Eye of the Tiger" (the Survivor song synonymous with the "Rocky" movie franchise) got $25,000 off THIS redneck asshole on the left.

If you're from out of town, you probably don't know who Mike Huckabee is.

He became governor of Arkansas, long after Bill Clinton moved on to the presidency. Mostly known for being a fat slob, and for liking to go hunting and shooting birds out of the sky, he lost some weight and tried to push himself as a presidential candidate.

Dubya Bush was among many to easily step in front of him. Huckabee seemed washed up, but he tried again last year. When Donald Trump distanced himself from the crowded pack, hack Huckabee was among the first to fold.

But before he did, he tried to present himself as THE redneck candidate. He came out in favor of this fat bitch Davis, a county clerk who had refused to give a marriage license to a gay couple, and was willing to go to jail (for a day or two) because of her "religious beliefs."

Eventually the gay couple were married by another clerk, Fat Bitch got out of jail, and Huckabee came out to cheer her, while the heroic "Eye of the Tiger" blasted on the stereo speakers and the crowd of rednecks cheered.

Except, no, he had not secured permission to play the song.

And, no, his offer to settle later, for a "reasonable" price, was rejected.

And, most remarkably, the courts ordered him to pay an incredibly large settlement, perhaps because TV networks picked up the event and broadcast Huckabee's misuse of the music.

You win one, you lose thousands. But, let's immortalize this rare victory for copyright!

Lennon's DNA on a Shirt? What a Bloody Bargain

Blood was flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup...

A little known fact of John Lennon's assassination was that he staggered into the arms of the useless doorman at The Dakota. His blood got on the doorman's shirt.

Another little known fact?

The shirt went up for auction. Considering how much money a piece of sheet music or a guitar gets if it has a Beatle connection, the doorman must've picked the wrong auction house, one without a publicist. It was only AFTER the auction ended that anyone reported on the great "bloody shirt." It only went for $41,000.

A ghoulish souvenir or a piece of history?

The doorman decided that, either way, it was time to pass it along. He was obviously feeling a bit of mortality himself. What do you figure his take was? After taxes, maybe $25,000 tops. That's good enough for a week-long "Summer of Love Pop Music Cruise Vacation" every year for the next decade. What a great chance to meet Peter Noone and Peter Tork and other cheerful and still-singing heroes of the 60's.

Record stores, book stores, now ALL stores...

Do people actually shop in stores anymore? Not a lot.

It turns out people spend most of their time getting drunk in bars, stuffing their faces in fast food joints, and simply staying home on the computer. Maybe they invite a few noisy friends to come over and blast the stereo or the HD TV all night.

Macy's and other big stores are trying to figure how to get Millennials to drop in. Like, "should we put amusement games in the basement? Have coffee bars where they can sit around like it's a Starbucks? Get a liquor license???"

Got that? Its a "death knell," because people jilt the stores and don't care to put their hans on merchandise.

Any visit to any urban area shows that way too many people are clogging the streets, taking up space on the bus to the train to the bus, and contributing unwanted noises and odors. They just aren't going into traditional stores like Macy's!

When you consider that record stores and bookstores were hangouts, and that people could spend hours in there browsing, there isn't much hope for ordinary shops that have to pay huge rent and salaries. It's much cheaper for the average bitch to buy those look-alike fashions via Amazon or eBay. Now that there are so few choices for stereo equipment or cameras, and Amazon encourages people to leave expert detailed comments on what they buy, who needs to go into Best Buy? The price is higher and there's sales tax.

Our entire culture has shifted in so many ugly and depressing ways. Even the style of spending a day shopping has changed. Maybe in a few years there won't even be boot sales, as most people don't need second-hand tat, and can sit at home and find the supply exceeding the demand on eBay.

The future will simply be people staying home, running websites, making chump change on GooTube, having huge HD screens and stereo speakers to play video games and download the stolen PDF books, mp3 songs and avi movies, and avoiding the ever-increasing amount of Muslims.

The Muslims will take over the restaurants and only serve halal food. Bars will be outlawed, and maybe football will still be allowed. But swimming pools and beaches? The women will have to wear the burqa and anyone who doesn't will be stoned to death.

Lena Dung Heap vs Kuntye while Taylor's Tits are on Display

Most celebutards deserve everything they get.

Too bad it wasn't a plastic replica of Lena Dunham, aka Lena Dung Heap, stripped naked with her fat ass up in the air, her raw, festering twat hanging open and looking like a bat cave made out of haggis.

Instead, there was, among others, a wax duplicate of the talented and undeserving Taylor Swift.

I don't listen to the woman's stuff. I'm not defending her as a fan. As a positive personality, she's miles (and Miley miles) ahead of her contemporaries. She knows how to dress. She has some taste. She sticks up for copyright. Jealous reverse-racist monkeys like Kuntye give her a lot of shit for simply being a class act.

The downward slide for her began when Kuntye strode up on stage at an awards show, snatched away her award, and insisted it belonged to one of his nigga friends.

He picked on somebody who couldn't and wouldn't fight back. If only she'd taken that award back from him and given him a Sharapova two-handed backhanded across his dumb black face with it.

Ever since then, she's been the unwilling participant in a black soap opera, regularly insulted by this anus-lipped moron and his fat-ass whore of a wife. They use her intellectual property every way they can for their own gain, and the above is just the latest example.

But Lena Dung Heap is not the one to complain.

In fact all she's done is tell the world she's offended by a stupid video that everyone should go see on GOOTUBE. She wanted to be first to get attention for hating this thing. What a hypocrite. This is the same ugly fat pudge who made her fame by showing her ugly tits on a cable show. She MADE her entire career on playing the NUDITY CARD.

Dung Heap is no feminist. Anyone who strips constantly the way she has, is as guilty as a Kardashian of using her body to get attention. That this little blimp declares she LIKES the Kardashians, considers them empowering of women, and that she LOVES watching them, shows how ridiculous she is. Oh, you LOVE their crass and obnoxious antics and their constant nudity and air-headed bickering? Only NOW they went too far?

Actually Dung Heap doesn't even think they went THAT far, because after whining that what she saw was "disturbing," she included a photo of a gift cake! It was her apologetic "ALL THE BEST" to Kuntye. What a fucking KOP OUT.

She was disgusted, offended, angered that her friend Taylor Swift was abused...but oooh, the Kardashians are real great gals, so don't take me seriously. It's ALL good, yo.

Dung Heap doesn't want to COMPLETELY insult the Nigga and his cow. After all, they are a POWER COUPLE, and she might need them someday.

So the pudgy wonder can easily give a shout out via the cellphone: "Look, Kuntye, I like Taylor Swift AND I like you and Kim, so I had to speak out. Also, people are so tired of seeing my piglet body naked I had to find some kind of hook. But did you see how I added a cake, to let you know that I wish you ALL THE BEST? I would've actually sent you a cake, but I'm such a fat slob I ate it myself."

Apology? Red Cross? Nigga, Please!

Oh, let's all bend over for political correctness.

Do you believe THIS idiocy?

The Red Cross (everybody bleeds RED) has to apologize because in a poster, it looks like niglets are causing all the trouble?

First of all, in a situation like this, they probably are. That's the point of assimilation, isn't it? Bus the coloreds into the nice all-white schools, and they'll behave, get a proper education, and learn to speak correctly. (As opposed to the more likely truth; that the whites will start wearing their hats sideways, hanging out with the cool dudes and getting into trouble.)

Secondly, look at the fucking poster. In this lovely RAINBOW of colored and white, I count a pretty equal number of trouble-makers. In this mythical racially balanced school where, despite blacks being about 20% of the population, they are 50%, the blacks really are NOT being overly stereotyped as being obnoxious, low-class and ill-mannered.

There are FIVE "Not Cool" depictions. Two are colored. Two are white. And you got two running brats who could be white and black or Latino and Black. That's pretty even isn't it?

There are ONLY two "Cool" depictions. Both white. That's a MINORITY in this picture.

Three coloreds and four whites are doing nothing either "cool" or "not cool." Isn't that a good thing? Most people, of any race, are just trying to have a good time.

There are two lifeguards, one colored and one white. There's also a big blue fish out of water, and what THAT is supposed to mean, I have no idea.

What reverse-racist assholes are protesting this?

Look HERE, Katherine Webb Cunt Twat Bint

Never heard of Katherine Webb.

She's some dumb skeletal slut who got knocked up, that's all THIS shit tells me.

The question: aside from NOT knowing or CARING who this whore is, why should I be interested in ANY self-absorbed twat who can't stop admiring herSELF?

What IS it with "Selfies" that the bitch always is looking at the camera, and NEVER making eye contact with the people who, presumably, she wants to connect with?

All pix like this say is: "I'm SO fascinating to my SELF, I assume YOU want to look, too."

No, look HERE, idiot. Glance UP as you take the picture.

It's too fucking bad there isn't an APP or a filter so I don't have to EVER see SELFIES of self-indulgent slut morons like Katherine WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, SKANK, Webb.

I hope next time you get knocked up the brat rips you a new one by pushing its way out of your asshole.

Hey Hey, We're the MONKees!

People say they Monkee around.

But they're too busy swindling. And Bill De Lousio can't be found.

Are you surprised? Not a lot.

With Bill DeLousio as mayor, things have gotten more lax-ative. Shittier.

As if the Millennials and Muslims and Mexicans and Bathroom Trannies aren't doing anything they please, the prime tourist areas of NYC are now in WORSE shape than ever.

Back in the day, Times Square had a bad reputation and tourists knew better than to wander toward 8th Avenue where the whores were, or 42nd Street itself with its porn shops and bums.

Now? All over Times Square idiots in costumes panhandle and bother tourists, and these fucking fake Monks go around pestering as well.

Any other major city have this kind of crap going on? Here, Big Stupid Bill figures everybody should be able to do anything.

The keys to this article are 1) panhandling is legal and 2) "aggressive" panhandling can't be handled by anyone but the cops, who grunt "we got better things to do" and hang up the phone.

Anyone with common sense would say that in the 21st Century, professional panhandlers should be taken off the street. If you need money in an emergency, ok, maybe. But if you're out there every fucking day, you're just a bum.

This applies ALL over the city, too. Even in a calm, decent neighborhood, there are "regulars" who make a pleasant walk into a fucking gauntlet. They will either stand on a street corner and be a nuisance, or sit against a wall or on a convenient public sidewalk bench, and mewl, "Spare a dollar? Have a blessed day."

Every blessed day. You want to kick pests like that in their blessed crotch.

GooTube Will be The Raun Of Me

While Yoko Ono and her gang Tweeted that DMCA laws need to be strengthened, and GooTube is a prime offender, there are nice little old ladies like this:

Anyone bothering to set her straight?

Anyone even noticing her?

Live and let snooze.

PS, bootlegs of her stuff are still on GooTube, and CD Baby has nothing to do with Orchard (which buys up a lot of major and minor label obscurities just to make GooTube nickels and dimes, and squeeze out some pennies at eMusic). Below, you'll see "credits" on two Raun albums: one is CD Baby and the other is Orchard.

If you're keeping score, she was on major labels twice, about 50 years ago. During the folk boom, she made a forgettable folk album. A few years later, circa '66 or '67, she put out an album (on Kapp) of mostly originals, which had a few very good tracks. Well, two or three, tops. The rest, ok.

A one-shot deal each time she got onto a major label? And no follow-up either time. What she was like in clubs, live, I have no idea. What she did for the next decades? Ditto. She got married, obviously.

A few years ago, when outfits like CD Baby made it easy to self-press albums (and people might think "CD Baby" was a real label, not a vanity con) she went that route. She put out an odd "experimental" album. And she's followed it up with the release of vintage demo session material that she couldn't get interest in way back when.

And now? She's reluctantly tried building a website and being on Twatter. She is feeling somewhat complimented that parasites like "The Orchard" and "CD Baby" have put muddled copies of her music on GooTube.

Shauna is doing better, and always will, because she's a pretty dimwit covering Taylor and Ariana. Raun is of interest to her friends (Farcebook or otherwise) and neighbors, and some fans who have her old vinyl but no longer have a turntable.

Well, as Don Henley sang it, "How bad do you want it? Not bad enough."

She thinks people will listen on GooTube and BUY a better sounding download off iTunes or eMusic? The downloads will sound just as mediocre and...people know how to do a "GooTube to Mp3" free download. Especially on stuff they won't listen to very often.

So who makes money here? Orchard and CD Baby and GooTube will grab a few dimes, and Raun will probably never see a dime. It'll be "not enough royalty to send yet" or "this hasn't paid back our expenses in hoisting your shit to GooTube."

Love that line, "very democratic of them." If you mean that they've uploaded every track instead of just the "good" ones, yeah, I suppose. If you mean "democratic," in the political sense, flip back a few pages in the dictionary and look up "communism." That's where every peasant shares and remains a peasant and copyright doesn't exist.

Don't Take Away My Guns...Till I Shoot My Daughters!

It's almost TOO easy, but here it is:

"The mom was an avowed gun-rights advocate who in March posted to Facebook: “It would be horribly tragic if my ability to protect myself or my family were to be taken away."

And she posted this typical Texas inbred redneck MEME:

Yeeee hah!

Don't try to explain to redneck Southern morons that this stupid bitch and her two twatlets would be alive if she couldn't get her hands on a gun while she was in the midst of a temper tantrum.

According to the papers, her Farcebook page was loaded with images, most of them "kissy face" photos. Unless she had several accounts, that stuff is gone. SOMEBODY, maybe the surviving husband, or Zuckerberg, went through them.

A few things remain to give you an idea of what an idiot right winger she was. And PROUD of it.

Like, the two things a Southern cunt loves most...church and a CRACKER BARREL shop to get them fine eatin's like deep fried cheese sandwiches covered in bacon.

White trash like this always have ailments, but how they react is different from normal people. A week out of the hospital, after moaning and praisin' the Lord and thankin' everybody for their kind wishes, she's back to obnoxious political bullshit. Oh yeah, good ol' Reagan. What a saint.

Yessir, the cops were called to the house many times, but the neighbors insist they were a fine, fine couple. The husband, who looks like a typical NASCAR driver, or somebody who'd love to go to a Keith Urban concert, was pleadin' with the bitch not to go ballistic, but he's lucky she didn't shoot HIM, too. Just why she shot her own daughters, nobody knows yet. Were they datin' niggas?

Also up for speculation is whether she would've turned the gun on herself, shot her husband, or started taking out any neighbors who came out to gawk at her. The cops told her to put down the gun and when she was about to pump yet another shot into a daughter, they took out the trash.

Say something nice about the dead? OK, she wasn't OBESE. That's the only surprise.

Barry Gibb Dead? WHY was he TRENDING on TWATTER

What in the world could BARRY GIBB do that would shake up SOCIAL MEDIA?

DROP DEAD?

Oh, no, be a ZOMBIE at the GASSED & BURIED FESTIVAL.

He joined CHRIS MARTIN on STAGE!

And rivers of piss came flowing down the legs of silly women, creating a sludge not seen since the mud of Woodstock generations ago.

Meanwhile, in a drunken stupor in Denmark somewhere, 71 year old Bury Gooker mutters, "...with my great webmaster handling publicity, and running that influential high traffic website, why wasn't I invited? Do they think I was gassed and buried 40 years ago? I'm still alive, I think..."

Yes, EVERY Burp and Fart from Fat Slob Adele...

Oh, gosh, gassy Adele burped!

Didn't we all know that eventually EVERY burp and fart from this fat bitch would be news??

She did it right on stage at Gassed & Buried.

Headlines AROUND THE WORLD declared "ADELE BURPED IN A FAN'S FACE! CROWD GOES WILD!"

From US Weakly. Er, Weekly:

A previous, proud generation loved "Our Gracie," a common lass with class.

Now it's "Our Adele," who burps gas and has a fat ass.

Oh, but this is the lovable coarse fat every-slob who curses, says "suck my dick" and waddles around bellowing horrible heartbreak songs and dropping babies. She's "one of us" say the Grimsby slags, and the bints and bozos and blobs all over the U.K.

All I can say is: Hold back a little, Adele. Don't peak before you get ALL of that $130 million from Sony.

Save some highlights like:

1. Using Miley Cyrus as a thong.

2. For dinner, having a single bean. Mr. Bean.

3. Wetting herself as special guest at next year's Urinevision Contest. (No longer called Eurovision, due to everyone wanting to leave the EU).

4. Showing J.K. Rowling her crotch and demanding a 6 part set of novels about it called "Hairy Pot."

5. Egging Susan Boyle's house. Then eating the house.

6. Protesting against Japan's whaling expeditions...when they invaded her swimming pool.

7. Keeping Tesco open 24 hours by snacking all day and night in there.

8. Shouting to Princess Kate "Got a spare tampon, size SUPER??"

9. Telling Prince Harry: "Love that thick woolly hair of yours. It's just like my pubes!"

10. Farting in front of the Queen. (Protocol, of course, is that you fart AFTER the Queen does.)

Boris Bad Enough?

"Who dat guy? He got da funny hair. He be mare of sum city? We already gotta guy wid funny hair runnin' his ass fo' prezzy dent. He be prezzy dent o' Ingle Lann?"

I'm quoting the average New York Post reader on the subway.

Discovering there is a "Boris Johnson," and that he was BORN IN NEW YORK, is the ex-mayor of London, and now might be Prime Minister, are the bare bones of the Post's ludicrous thumbnail sketch.

I did NOT edit anything out.

That was IT.

According to the Post, Boris was mayor of London while actually being a U.S. citizen. His biggest claims to fame are a) fucking a lot b) saying or doing stupid things, and c) having hair almost as silly as Trump's.

The attention span of a Post reader couldn't be tested further, not when the alternative articles involve ads from bargain stores, Kardashian news, the latest on the Mets and Yankees, or a juicy murder or two.

All seriousness aside, Taylor Swift would get more detailed coverage dumping a boyfriend.

As for Brexit, the US papers are congratulating Hedge Fund weasels and other scum, who instantly dumped their stock and bought gold.

Oh yes, the other Brexit news is: "Serena Williams will be playing for less money thanks to Brexit!"

WHAT? Somebody determined that because the pound is now weak against the dollar, Serena, likely to be a winner or runner-up, will get $200,000 less money when she banks it. Which is a bit different than Wimbledon announcing, "Due to Brexit, we are cutting the winning prizes by 20%."

And who gives a damn what Serena Williams makes? She is one of the world's richest and most famous tennis stars. She's not gonna walk out because the exchange rate fluctuated.

But what else is important to Americans? None of the other big tennis name at Wimbledon are American.

Meanwhile, just to confuse matters, some columnists are declaring that this is the "best time ever to go to England."

DMCA Is Yours If You Want It

One thing about everyone from Don Henley to Yoko Ono...they can talk, they can talk, they can all talk.

But as Joe Hill suggested: "ORGANIZE!"

So now a nation of copyright holders turn their lonely eyes to...a guy named IRVING?

Yeah. Sure.

The two things that need to be done aren't being done.

1. Getting Yoko and Macca and some others to storm a senator's office and pin him down: "Who is in the pocket of Google and Amazon? How many of your 99 colleagues will vote for a SOPA-type bill and NOT let it die?"

2. In the meantime, get an office, and some volunteers, and make sure that easy targets like blogs run by fat catatonic homo Lard-faced clods get taken down.

Right now there are blogs and Gootube channels that are setting very bad examples, and the excuse is "Oh, we have to go through hoops for a takedown" and "Gosh, some copyright owners aren't cooperating with us and deputizing us."

Name them and shame them. Get interns to make the Big Push. Tweeting is not enough. Nor is hoping some guy named IRVING does it all for you.

You wouldn't expect this of Bardot or Rigg

Oh, it's the KK twins again.

The spawn of psycho Kris Jenner and her freak show ex-husband Caitlyn, this duo are now favorites among the Millennials.

Millennial geeks would give their masturbating arms just for the chance to be able to see the sisters in person, breezing into a club while giggling at each other.

Millennial twats want to talk like, look like, dress like, and smell like Kylie and Kendall.

"Ewww, did I pee my pants? Hey everyone look at me on Instagram! Always something GREAT to see!"

"Ewww, somebody's taking a picture of me with my nipple piercing showing. Whatever!"

Would Bardot or Rigg pose like that?

Then again, would Bardot or Rigg, natural beauties, sophisticated and bright, need nipple piercing or wet pants to get attention?

IF I'M BEING HONEST, the Jenner girls are not good looking and don't have good bodies. The best that can be said is that they are nowhere near as homely as the their fat-assed monkey-lipped half-sisters, the Kardashian Kunts.

These little Jenner bitches are making a fortune just hobbling down a runway in some ridiculous outfit that costs more than most Millennials make a year.

They are millionaires thanks to their idiot "reality" show. They want MORE.

They want to make money off Instagram so that means constantly loading fresh photos for mongoloids and anorexics and bulemics and autistic cretins to gawk at.

Wow, is that PISS or isn't it?

Remember when actresses, even the least classy ones, had SOME morality, dignity and taste? Christ, even Diana Dors and Joey Heatherton never stooped this low.

It could've happened anywhere, but it was in the MIDDLE EAST

Lebanese.

OK, it could've happened in Brazil, too. Or maybe on the Italian coast. Or Florida.

There's certainly no shortage of dumb hummus-colored maniacs.

You think it's a bad idea for the sun to beat down on a skull already half-empty of brains?

Go ahead, Roger Waters, play Beirut. Lots of lovely people there who wouldn't harm a fly. Just about anything else.

If BANKSY can do it...

Here's some twat inspired by Banksy.

She figured he became famous by selfishly self-promoting and defacing public property with his garbage. So, why shouldn't she?

Gee, the beauty of nature sure needs tattoo-level cartoons all over it.

No, they don't look like Simians, do they

When the first names are AMAZAN, STERVENSON and WOOLVENS, it's not likely there will be a mistaken identity.

And when they're THIS ugly?

The girl was probably even uglier, not that she deserved this fate. The great poets (Shelley, Keats, Milton) probably had no idea, as they wrote of "truth and beauty," that Darwin was wrong. The dumbing down, the Devilution of the world, continues as ugliness, stupidity and violence hold illimitable dominion over nearly all.

Wah Wah! The MILLENNIALS wanted to STAY

The familiar phrase: FUCK and OFF.

Millennials are whining that their "birth rights" are gone, and their "future" is gone. Aww, is that so, Snookums?

You mean, you really want to be sold into white slavery by filthy Pakistani swine? You want to walk down a street and have your head chopped off and shoved up your twat because you weren't wearing a burqa? You wanted the opportunity to either learn Polish or get your skull cracked open?

Christ, who are these self-indulgent dreamers? Ones who obviously have PLENTY of money from Mum an Dad. They're worried that they won't be able to buy another ten bottles of Bieber Cologne? Get front row to One Direction? Be able to buy the same outfits KATE or a KARDASHIAN wear?

They were told by Toffee Nose Camoron that they wouldn't be able to romp in their school uniforms at Eton or something. They might not be able to spend a vacation getting drunk in Spain. They might not be able to share shaved twat snapshots with some greasy Greek or some 70 year-old Frenchie pretending to be a 20-something.

As my actress rightly said today, the poor finally got SOMETHING. They got to send a message and they got to show the world that THEIR needs matter.

Millennials crying about Brexit should just leave the fucking country. Go teach English to the Somali pirates. Go try and teach birth control in Chad. Set up a Christian missionary in Syria. Take a boat out into the Pacific and tell the Japs to stop killing whales, and the Chinese to stop dumping plastic by the ton.

Sold out your future? You assholes are going to be choking to death, blown up, or killing yourselves within the next 20 years. Brexit just bought you some time to get to be middle-aged.

Rupert Murdoch's NY Post explains why BREXIT makes SENSE

GASP! Charles Gasparino wrote an editorial for the NY Post explaining why BREXIT was a good and logical decision.

He didn't shy away from the issue of immigration, either, or pretend that having hundreds of thousands of obnoxious, gnarly foreigners would destroy the integrity and traditions of Great Britain. If not literally destroy the country by blowing shit up.

BREXIT AT TIFFANY'S - Business as Usual

Was it empty at Tiffany's today? Of course not. Were Hedge Fund weasels happily trading "futures" and making enough money to own gold-plated toilets? You bet. Did the sky fall? Not even in a James Bond movie.

The GOOD news, despite all the kneejerk moaning and fretting from the "Remain" bunch, is that the sun rose again, and it will set again, and if you look at the big picture, all that's happened is that a proud island nation won't be overrun by bullying savages. Not for a while.

Economic woes? Really? Did Tesco scale back on 24 hour stores because of the EU? No. Did Icelandic fuck hundreds of jobs in Grimsby because of the EU? No.

Inevitably, the Chinese (who make everything from Apple computers to sneakers) will make their case for being THE super power, and the Muslims will seethe all over the Middle East and Europe. Idiots like Merkel and her toads in Holland and France and elsewhere, will see their culture crumble.

If ISIS doesn't give a shit about artifacts of their own Middle East civilization, you can bet that they'll blow up windmills, the Eiffel tower, and every non-halal sausage factory in Germany. PS, there are still plenty of fanatics in England so Big Ben ain't safe either. It's just that the odds for UK destruction have gone down a bit.

The FUNNY news, aside from Lindsay Lohan suddenly Tweeting instead of twatting, is that Donald Trump arrived in Scotland to christen a golf course, and mistakenly declared that Scotland took back their country.

Er, no. The backward, tongue-twisted Snots were conservative and stupid. Their "celebrities" handed Trump a bunch of utterly witless insults:

Oooh, that's telling him. He's still a famous billionaire, and you idiots are unknown to anyone who doesn't love haggis. Ooooh, Trump is a "plum." Good Lord, do you think Donald still has the will to live after that??

No, I never heard of those three, and given their gutter-level bitching, they aren't ready for Prime Time, or the rest of the world. The most famous Scots, at least for Americans, remain Craig Ferguson and Sean Connery (both living in America) and James Watt (who talks about "punchies" as a boxing announcer).

What the fuck is with Scotland anyway? Their exports are not gonna change. They will export their whiskey and their woolens, and Mr. Jethro Tull and his bunch will export smoked salmon (and the Jews will call it lox). Down the road, their demise will be that the Kardashians, and the Booga-Booga crowd, and the Muslims won't give a damn about their products. Only white people of a certain culture care about whiskey, wool and salmon. The rest prefer cocaine, cotton and Burger King.

Did the UK secede or succeed? The breathless CBS news wasn't sure.

Note the red arrow.

What do I say about the above? FUCK YOU, WALL STREET.

What a bunch of rabbits. It's always this way. Any uncertainty in the world, and these bunnies go into a mad frenzy of buying and selling. It never makes sense, and everyone covers it like it's vitally important. It ain't the stock market crash, it's just chittering and trembling, and people eventually snap out of it. Why the FUCK should rich people playing stock games interfere with our lives?

Some fuckhead dropped his stock in Yorkie bars and bought more gold? Fuck him.

So, the great toff Camoron has resigned, has he? I suppose he's made enough under the table to last him. Maybe he'll shove Blair aside and get paid huge sums for giving speeches. He'll do fine.

But I hope he takes that asshole from the Nazi side with him. What a gutless thing to do, announce defeat as soon as the polls closed. WHAT was he thinking? This is no leader. Look at Bernie Sanders, who is STILL being a pain in the ass to Hillary Clinton, even with NO chance at the nomination.

Speaking of America, the disgust with immigrants showed, when the Supreme Court refused to budge and declare amnesty for illegal aliens.

On the ABC local news in New York, reporters actually grumbled that 10% (or more) of the workforce is ILLEGAL. The inference: this is a big load of lovely people who are being discriminated against JUST because they snuck in like thieves.

Forget that they took away jobs from others. Forget that they brought with them a lot of criminals.

ABC NY sobbed that they estimate there are FOUR MILLION illegals in the tri-state area who are being unfairly denied the RIGHT to what legal immigrants jumped through hoops to get. The wimps sent a Spanish speaking reporter "of color" to interview some of them in a typical shitty town (Elizabeth, New Jersey) overrun with these pests. The illegals carried signs (in SPANISH) boldly declaring they wouldn't give up the fight. One of them declared (in SPANISH) that she was in America 14 years now, and deserved to stay. The reporter translated what she said.

How about that? 14 years in America, and the spic bitch WON'T speak English! That's a ringing endorsement for illegals isn't it? What's she done to prove she cares about the country? All she wants is to come here and TAKE. All she wants is to breed. And to turn America into a Spanish speaking slum. Immigrants of old LEARNED THE LANGUAGE AND THE CUSTOMS.

Why did Brexit win? Because complacent stooges in the Remain group REMAINED HOME. It was raining a little too hard in some places. It was inconvenient for the posh bunch to take time from their shopping. Many figured, "Oh, well, Poor Jo died, and that seals the deal, it'll be a landslide. I can go walkies with Muffin and have a cuppa, and ponder my Freddy Davies AND Freddie Davies records." It was the angry poor, the unemployed, and those who wanted change who resolutely insisted on making their voices heard, even in defeat. And, surprise, they won.

America? The politicians raged about GUN CONTROL with the same passion as some in the UK raged about leaving the EU. There was some kind of filibuster for nearly 2 days. The Democrats gave outraged speeches. One black guy tried to be Martin Luther King Jr., bellowing about how too many mamas have seen their babies die. What happened? Nothing. They walked out congratulating themselves for "disrupting" Congress. They passed NOTHING.

And so it goes. In America, a self-hating homo Muslim killed 49 people, and it meant nothing, just as an autistic loner mowing down two dozen children meant nothing, and a "nice" Muslim couple opening fire at a California day care facility meant nothing. The other day, the Democrats finished their 2 days of bellowing and hooting and walked away grinning about it. They didn't win like the Brexiters.

In the UK, now that Brexit won? The Empire won't fall. Look at what they're leaving: a crumbling Europe that is losing its identity and becoming Muslim.

What's in Europe? A main business is tourism, and IF I'M BEING HONEST, if I felt like taking a holiday, I'd think twice about getting on a plane that might explode. Or flying to France (where terrorists blow up nightclubs) or Brussels (where they blow up airports) or anyplace else. What for? To see a leaning tower in Italy before some Muslims blow it up?

Europe used to be a colorful destination. Now it's just colored. Tourists want to see native people not natives. They don't expect to see maniacs in burqas and beards strutting around like they own the country.

Europe, like Scotland, exists on arcane imports that are no longer essential. People can do without French wine. They can do without Holland cheese. They can do without German knockwurst. What people can't do without is cheap clothing and electronics made in China by slave labor who can't demand a minimum wage, can't take time off for Ramadan, and can't shout about racism and demand an extra hour for lunch to get some Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Fat, effeminate James Corden was sad today. He Tweeted: "I can't get my head around what's happening in Britain.I'm so sorry to the youth of Britain. I fear you've been let down today x"

Awww.

Hot, sexy Eliabeth Hurley? "And suddenly the birds are singing....BREXIT!"

PS, anything that makes Rowling's twat go dry is a GOOD THING.