"Keep Her in Your Thoughts" No thanks

Aw, the wimps of the world are so upset.

This is the way of the "entertainment world." Their next door neighbor could drop dead. An uncle or aunt could get hit by a car. Somebody's cat could be lost. Who the fuck cares. But "keep her in your thoughts and prayers."

Yeah? Because she's the DAUGHTER of a mediocre and annoying celebrity and her shit-for-brains husband? Sorry, I have more important things to do.

Like knitting a sampler with "God Save Whitney's Daughter" on it. NOT.

This is what's trending on Farcebook?

I suppose the grand irony here, is that Shitney herself was found unresponsive in a bathtub. Ooooh. Fate! Oooooh. GOD has spoken! (Not Allah, he's busy smiling at Arabs beheading people).

You can't help feeling old when you realize that the world couldn't give a damn about John Lennon anymore, and most are sassing that he only wrote "Imagine" which wasn't even very good. It was, in fact, sacrilege.

But Shitney? The human car alarm? She sang "I-yeee I-yeeeeeee I-yeeeee will always lo-ah-oh-ah-oh-ov yewwwwww."

And other masterpieces.

The level of celebrity angst these days is over-the-top for under-achievers. Any time some non-entity sasses another, or there's a wardrobe malfunction, or they need a cyst removed from their asshole, it's "pray for them" and front page news. And if they're in the hospital? Or actually die? Well...

New Jersey went into a state of mourning with flags at half-mast when Whitney died. Really. She was from fucking New Jersey so they acted like she was a senator or something.

Tell somebody to go see "Selma" and learn about Dr. King, and they yawn. Mention Buddy Holly and "the day the music died" and you get a stare of incredulity. Even redneck fat-assed Elvis fans are being mocked for caring about that idiot when there's poor Tiger Woods with a missing tooth, or Gwyneth Paltrow to talk about steaming her vagina. And if some drummer who worked on a CSN&Y album dies...wow, how CAN you go on?

So Whitney's her brave, brave daughter continued on her "journey." Until today. Will she live? Die? KEEP HER IN YOUR THOUGHTS says some well-meaning jerk with nothing better to do.

We can only hope that being "unresponsive" in a bathtub for a few hours only means she needs a slap on her bare ass from the right doctor. Not the one that treated Michael Jackson. Or her mother. Attach the electrodes. Pray for her. After all, she's...uh she's not even an entertainer. It's not like she's Joan Rivers and was charging through life making people laugh and think.

The world of celebrity just gets more idiotic, and we're supposed to care. Sorry, there are just too many idiots out there dividing my time up. I'm supposed to care and pray that Lindsay Lohan gets her act together? That some other crazy child star, Amanda Bynes, doesn't throw another bong out a window?

Oh yes, and that Kim Kardashian has another baby. And that Bruce Jenner safely gets his balls snipped off. Anything else? Stephen Fry should have a lovely honeymoon. Russell Brand should marry another ridiculous bimbo singer and then make fun of her after he walks out. God bless Cummysnatch and his noble efforts to have every gay who died before we became enlightened about how normal anal sex is, posthumously get awarded an OBE or something. Pray for Sharon Osbourne for some reason or other...her tits are probably acting up. If not hers, then Tara Reed's. And let's hope Sam Smith wins an award. Whew. How DOES the POPE keep up with all the celebrities he should pray for? Especially when I'm telling him, "keep EVERY d-list celeb and their spawn in your thoughts."

You know what's "unresponsive?" The brains of most people, and the tub they call a skull is loaded with dirty water.

SOCIAL MEDIA EVERYONE...TRENDING ON TWITTER EVERYONE...THE MARCH OF THE SANCTIMONIOUS D-LISTERS is on...

They didn't care about the latest ISIS beheading. They didn't TWEET about the death of the grand Rod McKuen the Lord of the Flyweights. They didn't tweet about hundreds of tragedies and injustices. But THIS is something to KEEP IN YOUR THOUGHTS.

Pirate Bay is Back: Har Har, Ha Ha, Nyaa Nyaa

"Don't it make you embarrassed..."

Cops are buffoons. Politicians are corrupt jerks. The law is a doddering old man searching for his glasses.

And here come the Swedish meatballs of Pirate Bay, laughing about the slaps they got on their wrists, happily making millions off somebody else's HARD WORK.

And the shit heads who love them cry "Don't let the bastards win!" Of course, these shit heads would scream if burglars swarmed into their homes and stole everything and shouted "We're ROBIN HOOD, we take from YOU and give to the MORE DESERVING and ENTITLED..."

Har har ha ha ha. Nyaaa nyaaa.

No, it's not enough that there's Kickass and dozens and dozens of other torrent sites. This is called "rubbing shit in your face."

It's one thing to shrug and say, "Oops, somebody else has started up." But to have the same defiant brats do it? "Don't it make you embarrassed..."

I'll paraphrase the fellow who employed body snatchers (in the R.L. Stevenson story). Confronted with the obviously murdered body of a well known local woman, he shrugged, "The best thing to do is not to recognize it. And I don't."

This is basically what the crippled RIAA and the deformed MPAA and the sex-changed BPI and all the others do. Who they gonna call? Ghostbusters? The police? The politicians who are marionettes to Google and Amazon and the rest of the Internet giants?

So they pretend it doesn't exist. They have an e-mail-to-nowhere for anyone who wants to report anything, and a phone with a recorded message that doesn't record anything.

It's the same way the cops just don't happen to be anywhere in sight when drug pushers and whores set up in front of a school or office building.

Everyone's supposed to mind their own business, muddle along, "allow for shrinkage" (the retailers term for both shoplifting and employee theft) and pretend to be the shark that has helpful parasites clinging to it and picking off debris.

It would be a simple matter to track down the servers, FOLLOW THE MONEY and where the ad dollars go, and arrest these obnoxious turds and send them to jail for FIFTY YEARS. It would send a strong message to the rest of the parasites. Instead? The rich get richer. The fat get fatter. It's the status quo. And don't antagonize the hackers and the spoilers; it's not worth it. Especially if you're Bezos or Brin or some other rich prick at Amazon or Google or any of the other sites that get rich off copyright abuse.

Those creative people trying to make a living off the apps, anime, movies, TV shows, music, books, magazines and everything else...who cares? Those people who are secretaries, porters, errand boys, and otherwise making a living by working in the offices of creative people? They can go work at the newest GOOGLE or AMAZON complex that opens up.

Got a song? Got some writing? Hoist it to YouTube or Blogspot so GOOGLE makes the money. YOU get nothing, and YOU have to take a second job, or sell t-shirts, or do some soul-killing work because brats like the Swedish "pirates" are so fucking happy to be anti-social.

At best, artists can buy a tube of KY jelly for when they're told to go fuck themselves.

Morley & More Moron Media Whore "Authorities"

From Paul Morley to Perez Hilton to Piers Morgan, there are "media whore authorities."

Their job, mostly, is to validate media whores.

The job of the "MEDIA WHORE AUTHORITY" is to be interviewed about how WONDERFUL and BRILLIANT the latest halfwit media whore is. OR...to validate some idiot's documentary on a D-lister or a dubious subject nobody cares about.

The "MEDIA WHORE AUTHORITY" will turn up when the subject is NOT really famous or worthy. For instance, there's no shortage of A-list people, accredited authors and big stars to sit in front of a camera when the subject is The Beatles. But if it's Kraftwerk? You go to some D-list idiot who'll say just what you want him to say.

In America, for many decades this was one of the more inescapable pests:

For literally decades, desperate idiots needing a talking head for a "pop culture" piece, called this fag and he burbled as long as needed. A documentary on some obscure dead film star? Someone to explain how great Studio 54 was? Needing to fill time because Bowie wouldn't grant an interview? Yeah, THIS is what you got.

For 30 dreadful years, this deliberately simpering pest had a "gossip column" in a weekly newspaper. The gig SEEMED impressive, but as he'd painfully admit, they paid shit. They knew that a guy like this would do it just to have the byline and the perks of free dinners and concert tickets and a chance to rub up against celebrities at parties.

Thanks to the failing market for real newspapers, and being too old and "Tallulah" oriented to compete with Perez Hilton and younger queers chasing after dykes and niggas, he was ousted. He gamely got a send-off from another gossip columnist/media whore who gave him a chance to save face and pretend he was going on to better things.

"Nobody Loves a Fairy When She's 40." And unless you're any kind of real reporter or superstar (like Barbara Walters) you're gonna be put out to pasture, and not risk embarrassing yourself trying to Keep up with the Kardashians or talk to Viley Virus or Justa Beeper. A 60-something fag, even with gay cliques dominating the entertainment media, is not needed.

The damage has been done, though. You can hardly avoid this creep on tons of low budget and D-lister biography shows, most of them now on YouTube. Since he was in New York and available at a moment's notice, he was one of the go-to "media whore authorities" any time there was a birth, death, movie premiere, or some other event that required a soulless "say anything to get your face in front of a camera" jerk.

These days Jimmy Kimmel has a regular bit where he has some reporter go out and interview people in the street. It's called "Lie-Witness News." Is it a surprise that to get on TV, anyone would outright lie about having seen a movie (that doesn't exist)? And that once caught, they'd sign a waver just so that the entire country can see them make fools of themselves? Such is "fame." Imagine somebody saying, "Hey everyone, watch Kimmel tonight. I'll be on! I was asked "What did you think of the magazine photo of Kanye West showing his ass" and I said, "I didn't mind. He loves to shock."

It doesn't matter what kind of droning Paul Morley or the others do. They just keep on doing it. The more they scratch, the more they bloody well get. Some get their own shows. From humble media whore beginnings came such cocksuckers as A.J. Benza, a phony who hosted a scandal & gossip show for A&E. Then there's Piers Morgan who moved from print to real "stardom" in this world gone mad.

All you need is to "work it, girl." Be available. Network. Use your connections. This Michael idiot was a nobody when he first started out. He was solemn, dull, sullen, and wore plain white shirts like a schoolboy. Gradually he learned "the more flamboyant the better," with loud clothes and cheesy facial expressions. By the time he got his gossip gig for the fab V.V., he was working it, girl. He'd gone from wallflower to odorous pansy. His intentionally simpering, irritating attitude and googly grimaces into the camera helped rather than hindered. And since he had no reputation to uphold, unlike, say, "serious" film critic Rex Reed, his brand of gay and his unapologetic media whoring for anything and anyone, got him more and more face time.

Got a TV special? Got an article to write and need an "expert" fast? Don't want to have to do research? Don't want somebody who's going to tell the truth or be less than enthusiastic about whoever you're puffing? You go to the pompous, the faggy, the professorial and the pesty...the perfect "media whore authorities." They love being used over and over again like snotty handkerchiefs and soiled underwear. Sure, after a while the smell lingers, but from a distance, on TV, most viewers don't notice the stains. These media whore authorities are convinced they're looking good.

They don't realize that after the camera stops rolling, the producer who couldn't get anyone better, shrugs and simply thinks, "that'll do, pig. That'll do."

Pretty Boy Pavel - An eye for a few years

In the Bible it's "an eye for an eye."

In Russia, not so much.

"Let the punishment fit the crime..." nyet.

One of the stupidest and most repulsive "entertainment industry" crimes hasn't really gotten much attention in our Kardashian-obsessed world. It's the case of the snitty pretty boy ballet dance Pavel, who resented the new head of the Bolshoi ballet. So? Cue the acid attack.

Amazingly, modern medical technology was able to keep the victim from looking like a horror movie villain. The sulfuric acid burns aren't evident on his face. But one milky eye is blind and the other has restricted vision, by about 50%. The victim must put drops in his eyes periodically every day and not do anything athletic that might increase the pressure on his surviving orb.

Pretty Boy Pavel? He got jail. Six measly years. That's compared to years of physical pain and stress for his victim and a permanent disability. Pretty boy's partners in crime? 4 years for the prick who drove the get-away car, and 10 for the cowardly stooge who threw the acid.

It's at times like this that you kinda think the Muslims aren't totally nuts. If this happened in the Land of Islam, pretty boy Pavel might've had his legs chopped off. Or he would've lost at least one eye.

It really is a difficult question as to how much "mercy" to show an irresponsible hot-headed pretty boy prima donna faggot ballerina bastard like Pavel.

You'd have to wonder what the uproar would've been like if instead of the head of the Bolshoi, this had happened to a merely untalented pop star the tabloids keep slurping about. Maybe Pretty Boy Pavel would have groupies demanding he be set free, and the trial might STILL be going on.

The good news is that the victim is still directing, as best he can, the ballet. He can still squint enough to criticize dancers for not leaping high enough or executing a more dramatic turn. And he can still complain bitterly that...nobody gives much of a damn about the ballet, and that when he gets to bring his troupe to America, the box office dictates that he has to drag out a famous warhorse production because nobody would come to see anything new or experimental. In other words, he's disgusted with the entertainment values in the world, almost as much as he is with pretty boy Pavel.

Rat Face Emily Ratajkowski and her PRECOUS BOOBIES

OOOH, Boobies Boobies. PRECIOUS BOOBIES.

Is it any wonder the "entertainment" is at the level of a 14 year-old boy?

Who else would look at the picture above more than once?

Once you're REALLY an adult, you're not so damn impressed with BOOBIES and idiot poses of women hugging their puppies. Even if Ratface held 'em up for all to see...SO?

It reminds me of a line in "42nd Street" by Gunhill Road: "...and everything you're gonna see you have already seen."

It's better than seeing two piles of dung, but if you're over 14, you're not going to keep staring very long. That's why "pop culture" stays at the level of a 14 year-old. You need more talent to hold interest, and that's not something idiot chicks (or dopey makes of bad music, films and TV and memes and anime) can do.

Terry-Thomas hissed through his gapped teeth about "the American obsession with BOSOMS." It was one of the few bright moments in the boring "Mad World" movie.

He was right, of course, but the rest of the world isn't far behind. (And yes, the behind is also an obsession).

One of the most depressing facts of life is that the older you get, the more jaded you get. Photos in sex mags are all the same. You see the idiot bitch cradling her PRECIOUS BOOBIES, or cupping them, or coyly putting her hands over them, or tweaking them. Yeah? So?

And a cunt is a cunt is a cunt. Unless you're 14, you view much of this as "spoiler alerts." There really IS something to be said for mystery, for keeping it covered, and for making it special. See it every day? That's why they say nudist colonies are the least sexiest places on Earth.

Rat face is going to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated? With boring photos like this?

Why would anyone over 14 care? This shit is for pubescent fools, and maybe for really lame wimps who can't have anything sexier in their home than the damn "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue."

I pity Rat Face for having been stung on the lips by a tarantula. And for being so uninteresting. What makes a woman interesting is her personality as much as her body. People are still interested in Angelina Jolie, and nobody really wants to see the condition over her re-modeled post-mastectomy boobs. People are still fascinated by Bardot, or Liz Taylor, because they didn't make a ton of films and didn't show everything constantly. They also worked with talented photographers who knew how to do more than show BOOBIES.

Taylor Swift has openly jeered hackers by telling 'em they'll find NO nude pix on her phone or on her computer, and all they can do is Photoshop their childish fantasies. Smart lady.

Rat Face? She's just a boob(s).

Ringo Goes into the Hall ... On the Crutches of Friends

He's still doing it "with a little help from my friends."

I like Ringo, but for fuck's sake boy, why not show YOU deserve to be in the Hall of Fame as a solo artist? Why put out a new album loaded with "guest appearances" by people who can sell records better than you?

Yes, Ringo's 18th solo album is another lame outing that requires the crutches of his friends.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, Ringo deserves to be in the Hall of Fame...as a novelty act. As a personality. If you're talking about as a good singer and songwriter, definitely not.

He's known all over the world, but that's because of his work in The Beatles. He's IN the fucking Hall of Fame via The Beatles. Now? Now that ridiculous Hall of Shit in Cleveland is daring to tell the world that Ringo's solo career equals that of John, George and Paul??

Based on WHAT? A few old songs that either John or George helped him write? The first two solo albums that were loaded with guest stars? What did he do after that? He had an oldies hit, maybe? "You're Sixteen" isn't original and isn't that great of a croon. Otherwise, he issued endless crappy albums some dutifully bought (or downloaded FREE) just to have them but never hear them. One of them wasn't too terrible (the one with "Don't Go Where The Road Don't Go") and a few were sort of listenable. But that's being kind.

And enough, ENOUGH with the fucking songs ABOUT The Beatles, Liverpool, and now an opening track saluting Rory and the Hurricanes!

The saddest thing about Ringo's solo work is that nowhere does he do any interesting drumming. The songs simply don't require it, and he was maybe too lazy to improvise anything. Or, he doesn't want people laughing at him for a drum solo as ridiculous as the one on "Abbey Road," that anybody can do themselves slapping their knees.

Ringo as a solo artist in the Hall of Fame. THAT is a knee slapper.

Who is this bitch KATY PERRY and why's she singing at the SUPER BOWL?

The answer is...I DON'T KNOW.

A lot of people (including savvy bloggers) are surprised that the famous fabulous SUPER BOWL isn't booking a true SUPER star.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, the fucking SUPER BOWL is easily one of the Top 3 events in America every year. I'd say it's barely behind Thanksgiving and Christmas as a day when AMERICA STOPS FUNCTIONING.

You can walk the streets of a major city and it will be almost deserted. You can go into supermarkets and there won't be many customers, and only a few FEMALE employees to help you. Maybe an hour before the game starts, the place will be loaded with idiot males hauling away 12 packs of beer and all the junk food they can carry.

But during the game itself...the country could be taken over by Arabs.

And nobody would notice.

Consider that Thanksgiving is a national holiday, and Christmas, too, and that America is still primarily a CHRISTIAN nation. This makes the fucking SUPER BOWL even more phenomenal. Why the fucking hysteria over this idiot game? Why in the world do people actually look forward to watching TV COMMERCIALS and voting on which ones were the most amusing?? Sick, isn't it?

So why shouldn't the half-time game be sick, too? What other sporting event takes a huge time out so that some cunt can sing?

It makes more sense for it to happen at Wimbledon, or France, Australia and the US Open. These tennis players are running all over the place and exhausting themselves. They could USE a half hour to rest. Nah, they don't get it. Nobody does but fucking FOOTBALL players.

Usually the SUPER BOWL draws the most famous name possible for the half-time show. This year? NOT AT ALL.

Katy Perry is a NOBODY in America. The proof of that, is that I barely know who the fuck she is.

All I know is she's British and has big boobs. I'm subjected to the daily news. I suffer the "musical guests" on talk shows or "Saturday Night Live," and somehow I've avoided Katy Perry. Yet, I've had to put up with everyone from skinny Viley Virus to fat slob Adelle, and all kinds of skanks and lunatics from Lana del Rey to Ariana Grande. So to NOT have heard a Katy Perry song means it's avoidable, which means she's NOT a big star over here.

KATY PERRY? It's said "she has sold 11 million albums and 81 million singles worldwide, making her one of the best-selling artists of all time." I haven't paid her a penny. I'd spend a penny in her mouth, if that's any compliment.

I'd say 10.9 million and 90.9 million of those albums and singles were sold someplace other than America. But maybe that's the point, that the Super Bowl is now taking advantage of the Internet and world-wide curiosity. This year, for the first time, the game is "streaming" live. How do you get some greasy Spaniard into the works? Or some clueless chive in Cotswald who normally watches some monkey skitter around trying to kick a ball into a Net? Or a Brazilian who spends more time waxing than anything else?

Telling 'em to watch THE SUPER BOWL isn't enough. WE in America, after all, don't really give a shit about the World Cup Soccer match (especially when America is eliminated in the first round). "World Championship" fights mean nothing in America if an American isn't fighting. "World" champion darts? Snooker? Are you KIDDING?

So KATY PERRY gets the nod mostly because she has BIG BOOBS, and young idiots have heard of her, and she's known to Europeans and third world monsters who are the next market to annoy with TV commercials.

For reasons totally beyond comprehension, Katy's invited along Lenny Kravitz, the half-Black half-Jewish halfwit whose albums have been dollar bin dross for years. WHO the FUCK cares about this guy? He's supposed to help draw in the black audience? The Seattle quarterback is black. That's enough. So are most of the players, including an ugly asshole who shows up at mandatory press conferences and refuses to answer questions. All he does is bellow "You know why I'm here." Sometimes he mixes it up with: "I'm just here so I don't get fined."

Katy held a press conference and she joked, "I'm just here so I don't get fined."

She sort of has a sense of humor, huh? Or she has a manager writing a line or two for her. The big news leading up to this stupid fucking game is that the Boston Patriots were accused of using "under-inflated balls" in the semi-finals. Just how a ball with slightly less air in it helps hasn't been determined. But it did give BOOBALICIOUS Katy a chance for a nyuk:

"I can assure everyone in here, nothing in my performance will be deflated."

Gee. Katy Perry has TITS. Kim Kardashian has a cunt. Gwyneth Paltrow has a steam-cleaned vagina. THE WORLD IS SAVED.

Gwyneth Paltrow's CUNT is full of GOOP

Who IS this Gwyneth Paltrow bitch, and why is she wiping her cunt in my newspaper?

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I don't think I've seen this stupid vanilla twat in any movie. She doesn't make movies for anyone but other spaced out Yuppie scum princesses.

Isn't she the idiot who named her spawn Apple? Who was once married to possibly the most pretentious man with yellow teeth and yellow hair on Earth? That would be Chris Martin, mewler for the frigidly inept wimp-band Coldplay.

I think she is the spawn of an actually good actress, Blythe Danner, whose main trait was a vulnerably hoarse voice that, had she gone in for treatment at Yorkville Endoscopy, could've gotten her killed.

Every now and then this Paltrow bitch gets into the small print while Kardashian and Honey Boo Boo grab the headlines. But today? It was hard to ignore TODAY'S crotch grab from this darling media whore:

Huh? Say what? Look, it's one thing for batty guru-ettes to preach to the perverted, and it might actually do some good if they follow this nutjob's basic beliefs in vegetarianism. Or being organic. Or whatever.

But just because she can flounce around in a spa, and squat her precious pussy against a gently puffing billow of steam...is no reason for sane people to do it.

Who knows when this crackpot's crack is going to explode? It's possible that her inner twatness has simply become all glistening callus thanks to the constant splooge of magical Chris Martin seminal mucus. Or having an Apple ooze out of her womb has rendered her nethers into a Spongebob form of Kryptonite or something. But the average mortal woman does need the sanity of newspaper reporters to guide them away from disaster.

Paltrow runs a website appropriately called GOOP. It's run by a bunch of air-headed termite brains who don't answer e-mails and who are lost in their own precious viscosity. This repulsive Rapunzel is one of those bimbos who is wrapped in cotton (after getting her vagina steamed) and simply pays no attention to little things like sanity.

Christ, it's getting a little too obnoxious in Celebrity Land, when you can't go a day without being reminded about Katy Perry's tits, Kim Kardashian's ass, Gwyneth Paltrow's cunt, or Bruce Jenner not being sure which of these he wants the most...on his own body.

Bruce Jenner - a Dick AND a Cunt

You thought it couldn't get more ridiculous...this American fetish for ALL things "Kardashian" and "Jenner."

Here he/she comes, the ex-Olympian, snarling botched-plastic-surgery macho bitch, and pussy-whipped ex-husband of the hideous Kris Kardashian.

You just knew that this obnoxious dick would be a cunt...and NOT just go for his sex change without TURNING IT INTO A FUCKING REALITY SHOW.

Americans have had to suffer this sour stooge for decades. Even before he joined the Kardashian circus, he was a huge disappointment, the boyish Olympian who turned out to be a dull and uninteresting pretty boy.

Some Olympic champs move from the Wheaties cereal box to some kind of stardom, or at least they wander the country playing "role model" for youngsters. This didn't happen for Bruce Jenner, who vaulted to fame but found the pole getting more and more slippery in his hands. Who knew he hated his own pole?

When next the American public had to look at this shit head, it was because his "botched" plastic surgery had transformed him into a freakish, rather feminine mutant. He remained all-male, or so he seemed, as he groused and threatened anyone who had the nerve to laugh at him. "DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY FACE" was his war cry, and he had puppy-host Jimmy Fallon backing off and apologizing during a "Tonight Show" appearance.

Gosh, Bruce, in true "Lola" fashion, you looked like a woman but spoke like a man. Nothing unusual about that. Many a transvestite is a ridiculous, hairy-looking hetero idiot in silly clothing and a bad wig and worse make-up.

Then the cunt upped the ante by marrying the horrible Kris Kardashian, and spawning a whole bunch of media whores. I'm not sure how International this disgusting brood is, aside from Kim, but the nightmare has been CONSTANT in America.

There was the KKK (the three Kardashian bitches, including Kim), and then as they got more and more boring and people started to question why they were "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" reality show, up came the Jenner bitches.

Those are the ones who are constantly parading around now, doing modeling gigs, sneering and simpering over every question of lip-plump surgery and other gruesome medical antics. But vying for attention now is Daddy Bruce, who has been getting way more "treatments" than his slutty spawn. This includes an Adam's apple shave!

As he's become more and more ridiculous, Bruce has been seen stalking around his California digs sullenly glowering at the press. Now we know why he hasn't said a word: he's saving it for his REALITY SHOW.

What are "we" going to suffer through? A season of his surgeries? Episode after episode of his bitching and whining and feuding with his idiot ex-wife? Breathless details of his pubic plucks and the emptying of his scrotal sac, and the final "big snip?" JEEEZUS, come on Muslims, get it over with. American Olympian turns into ugly old cunt in his 60's? Kill us now. Or at least, hack every cable Network that airs this shit.

There was a time when publicity was important for "sexual minorities." Now? Not so much. Gays are all over the place. Lesbians (Ellen, Rosie O'Donnell, etc. etc.) are proudly stomping around in films and on television. Joel Grey just came out gay, at 82? Who the fuck cares?

Transgenders? A show about 'em just won some Golden Globe awards. How long ago did Christine Jorgensen die? How long ago did Renee Richards play tennis? No, we don't need to witness Bruce Jenner's circus act every fucking week for the next few years. Who has sympathy for such a revolting media whore? He's going to cunt it up to the highest bidder and keep focusing attention on himself and the horrible, hideous, disgusting, stupid, self-absorbed and utterly pointless Kardashian-Jenner shit piles! What next, Kris grows a dick? One of 'em stops fucking blacks and starts trying to seduce members of ISIS? WHERE WILL IT END? WHEN?

2015...IT'S HELL, FOLKS.

MACCA RIHANNA KANYE - Are you CREAMING?

What's wrong with this picture?

EVERYTHING.

Andrew Baker Telegraphs his HERSHEYs Punch

It's nice to see that, slowly, social media is grumbling against Hershey's. There are petitions on websites. There's hashtags on Twitter. There are even semi-salty editorials like this one from Andrew Baker of the Telegraph, wondering why deprived Americans who want to pay more for an import...can't.

Indeed, it's an embarrassment for Hershey's that the truth is being told: their version of a Cadbury bar doesn't taste good, and the first ingredient is sugar. It has half the cocoa of the British one. Hershey's makes "candy" and not "chocolate."

IF I'M BEING HONEST, it's been decades since I had a Hershey bar. My tastes have been refined (I don't give a damn about Cadbury either) to pricier imports, dark chocolate only. The idea of eating some popular candies, is sickening. It's junk for kids, that's all. That applies to Yorkie bars.

As mentioned on this blog a few days ago), most of the bullying from Hershey's is absurd. Nobody can mistake a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for the obscure British item they've banned or a Yorkie for a York Peppermint Patty.

The only reasonable excuse I can think of for this idiot behavior is "it's bad for business." Which is why Tower Records never sold bootlegs. "Hey, Tower, why not sell bootleg VHS tapes and CDs that The Beatles won't release?" Because it's illegal. This is why eBay doesn't allow what is called "parallel imports." Italy and Russia can sell bootlegs in their country but can't import them. Likewise, pot is legal in Colorado but you can't drive across the border with it.

But to ban "Maltesers" or whatever they are? IF I'M BEING HONEST, I've never even seen 'em for sale. Where's this big market that Hershey's is so worried about? What are their damages? How can they even prove that people have eaten a Yorkie bar mistaking it for a York Peppermint Patty which isn't even the same shape?

Candy bars are expensive now. You damn well make sure what you're buying before throwing your dollar (or more) down. People know what they like and what they don't. What next, banning BOUNTY bars because they actually do look and taste like MOUNDS bars? Again, we're not talking about cheap imitations, but expensive imports.

Hopefully Hershey's execs and lawyers will be sweating a bit seeing social media's "boycott Hershey" campaign. Just the other day, Go Daddy pulled a stupid TV commercial because dog lovers and PETA protested. The jokey 30 second spot that they paid a fortune for, and were set to run during the Super Bowl, showed a jerk buy a puppy, then boast how he wasn't going to keep it, but that he sold it online (thanks to his GoDaddy website).

People began bitching (!) that this was supporting "puppy mills" and the cynical procedure of idiot dog owners buying an animal not based on rapport, but on fancy breed.

GoDaddy's ad backfired. Hopefully the Hershey legal victory against imports has backfired, too, and drawn attention to how absolutely shitty and unhealthy their products are.

Once in a while social media can do something against the "food entertainment" world as well as the jerks like GoDaddy who run companies that waste money on "edgy" promotions. It's not like GoDaddy is so big that they give people truly great discounts. How can they when they waste millions on stupid "infotainment" TV ads?

Kevin Spacey, Jolie say ARAB is the NIGGER of the WORLD

Oh, the poor Muslims.

Oh, the poor Arabs.

Don't you know, they are the Niggers of the world? They are oppressed. They aren't getting everything they want. So let them emigrate to America and Great Britain, let's give them money, and let's go there and do benefit shows and photo-ops.

PS, fuck Israel. Fuck the Jews bullied and abused in every nation, and PS, Blacks and Latinos are soooooooo YESTERDAY.

Oh, that metrosexual genius Kevin Spacey. He actually skipped an awards show to be with ARABS.

Maybe because the last time he won an award, at the Golden Globes a few weeks ago, he snarled something like, "I don't FUCKING believe it," and the censors had to rush to make sure their five-second-delay button was working.

Hello, dear, dear boy:

You didn't know that the most important issue in the world is having Arabs put on a show?

Me neither. I thought, as Benedict Scumbersnatch mentioned, that the biggest problem was not enough "colored people" making movies. If you disregard "Selma" and "12 Years a Slave" and every other movie starring Will Smith or Jamie Foxx. Benedict would like the entire cast of "Downton Abbey" do become "DOWNTOWN Abbey" and all-Black. I guess.

Not to be outdone, one-time rubber-lipped vampy sex symbol of evil Angie Jolie is now everyone's favorite Angel of Mercy. After all, Yoko Ono can't be EVERYWHERE.

Jolie, at the same time Spacey was getting spaced over Arabs, was moaning about Iraqi and Syrian refugees via an op-ed for the New York Times on Tuesday:

“I try my best to give support. To say something that will show solidarity and give some kind of thoughtful guidance. On this trip I was speechless. What do you say to the 13-year-old girl who describes the warehouses where she and the others lived and would be pulled out, three at a time, to be raped by the men? How can you speak when a woman your own age looks you in the eye and tells you that her whole family was killed in front of her..."

I'd say, "That's the Muslim way, bitches." Why is it that these Arabs haven't ever mounted any kind of revolution toward Democracy? Incompetents, are they? Why is it that America has to arm "the rebels" or the "insurgents" or the "Detergents" or whatever they call themselves, only to have them either NOT topple a Saddam or a Khadafy, or to topple 'em and install somebody just as bad, or worse? What, Mbarek wasn't a sweetie in Egypt?

Angie's answer, of course, is "bring 'em over." Bring 'em to Birmingham, England, where they'll take over entire city blocks, build their insular mosques, walk around in burkas, and breed Dole-taking ingrates who'll go right back to Syria to train and learn how to be terrorists?

I know. That's awfully cynical. It's not like that really happens, and British soldiers are beheaded in front of their own homes, or a business office in Paris is turned into a bloodbath over cartoons, or subways and buses are blown up by home-grown savages. Nah.

What next in the ENTERTAINMENT world that gives us Spacey and Jolie? Maybe Roger Waters will hire an all-Arab cast for his next revival of "The Wall." Maybe Peter Gabriel will hire an all-Muslim back-up band (NOT to be called GENESIS, but rather, KORANITICS).

Some politicians would tell Jolie that "the people" should fight their own fights. Americans did that during the Revolutionary War. They didn't go whining to Arabia for help. A lot of countries have forced out dictators, either by their own guts and determination, or by joining with allies and pledging responsibility and respect. They didn't need idiots from the "entertainment" industry, the disgusting panderers who usually appear for charity right at the time a new movie comes out. Or a TV series. Have you seen Spacey's fab show on Netflix? Did you know he's Mr. Shakespeare in England, too? You can bet he'd love a very authentic "Merchant of Venice" with a hook-nosed Shylock.

What we have now with most minorities and immigrants is ingratitude, entitlement and just plain ignorant savagery.

Now take a look at China. They pay no attention to anyone or anything. Fuck 'em all. They never give aid to victims of floods or famine anywhere in the world. Is that nice? Maybe not, but they don't have foreigners fucking up their country either.

Let's not turn a blind eye to human nature. In Saudi Arabia, the Jew is kicked to death and the Christian's church is burned. Where's the tolerance? What happened when young Mr. Rockefeller journeyed to Africa in order to trade with the noble black man? He was killed AND EATEN.

Does Spacey or Jolie really think that in Syria or Egypt anyone would help a white minority? Or that white women wouldn't be used as sex slaves and the men butchered? Or used as sex slaves, too? (Does anyone recall Lawrence of Arabia enjoying being a masochist to Muslim masters?)

Kevin Spacey isn't rushing off to visit literally poor people. Maybe he learned from McCartney that a trip to Nigeria ain't a wise thing. Frankly, he's lucky he's famous, well-guarded, and on a promotional trip that makes Arabs look good, other wise he'd be wearing orange and sitting on his knees with a knife to his throat...like the poor idiot Jap who went to the Middle East to "help" his lost pal. The one now dead and beheaded.

Jolie writes an editorial. Nice. She might write one asking Obama why he paid a visit to the funeral of a Saudi Arabian asshole who enslaves ALL women and won't give them their rights.

On the trip, the new king of Saudi Arabia wouldn't even look at Mrs. Obama.

Woman? NIGGA woman? Outta my sight, second-class cunt! Where's Angie to talk about how badly women in our "best" Arabian country are doing?

Actors and actresses. Nice that, even with piracy, they can afford to spend so much of their time being so noble. I give credit to Angie for actually festooning her home with multi-colored multi-national kiddies. Then again, she can pay for them.

SAM SMITH WON'T SHARE GRAMMY FOR PETTY THEFT

You know Sam Smith. He's the fat-faced over-achieving "working man's pudding" who solemnly emotes like a farting rhinocerous.

With his shitty hairstyle and his moon face and his boring, droning vocals, he presents himself as the mournful, sappy, less-than-heterosexual face of the U.K.'s dwindling white population. He looks like he's out of a job, and he's proven to be out of ideas. In other words, he stole half of his hit song from somebody else.

Given that the music industry condones stealing, and that the RIAA and the rest would prefer you don't e-mail them about blogs that routinely give away music, it's no surprise that a tepid no-talent like Sam Smith would as soon steal as take the time to be creative.

Most music fans thought there was something familiar about "Stay With Me," which wasn't even an original name for a song. Most music fans also thought there was something familiar about Sam's singing style, which melds the self-conscious whine of a Peter Gabriel with the agonized warble of a choirboy with the vicar's dick up his ass.

Even the garbagemen (and women) who run the Grammy Awards aren't upset that one of their nominated songs is stolen goods. As far as these good people are concerned, what Sam Smith did is no different than what niggas do, which is to "sample" a song, and declare it NEW.

Nigga logic from the Grammy Awards. If moon-face wins, we'll let him mewl his "thank you" and walk away, and Tom Petty can stay in his seat. If he's even invited.

It's fortunate that the same courts that upheld various cases of abuse among the Whiter Shades of rock musicians have ruled that Petty gets 25% now. Bad luck, Sam, but Petty finally had enough of thievery. You might remember, Tom was a patient gentleman when the awfully-named Red Hot Chili Peppers stole from "Mary Jane's Last Dance" when they issued "Dani California." At the time, he said, " I saw an interview with them where they actually admitted it. That made me laugh out loud. I was like, "OK, good for you." It doesn't bother me... I think there are enough frivolous lawsuits in this country without people fighting over pop songs."

Somehow, he changed his mind. So good for you, Tom, you pointy-nosed wimpy-haired ant-eater skull. It's about time you sent the right message. I mean, the guy's name is Tom Petty, not Tom Sam Smith Zinfuck Chili Peppers Petty.

PS, we're all "influenced" by others. Nobody's completely original. John and Paul used to sit around saying, "Let's write a Chuck Berry song...let's do a Buddy Holly song..." but they tried to make their work as fresh and new as possible.

A real "artist" wants to express his own personality and view, and not just be a fucking hack.

I acknowledge that here. I have my influences among rude, outspoken comedians and boat-rockers. Very slightly, one of them would be Howard Stern. I say very slightly, because we're of the same vintage. I didn't grow up influenced by HIM. But I do appreciate that he's "shocked" people by being truthful and sometimes funny. And by coincidence, I see that he recently had a few words to say about Sam Smith. They are worth quoting:

Did you like Sammy-Sweet's Tweet response? "IGNORE." You can just see him huffing and rolling his eyes. Just...like..a...WOMAN.

Benedict Cumberbitch Whines He's an "IDIOT" What else is new?

Add Benedict Cumberbitch to the list of BORING, ANNOYING MOVIE-STAR PESTS.

Enough already.

This over-achiever asshole has a funny name. How much longer do we have to hear it?

Even worse, how often do we have to see his dull, drawn-out cock-eyed transsexual-esque face?

Britain's run out of effete actors? I think not. Find some other awkward stick-insect dullard.

Did I mention the funny-name shit is boring? He actually did a cameo on Jimmy Kimmel's show in which he sat at a bar and did a "how funny would it be if this Limey introduced himself with a different silly name?"

It was excruciating.

Now, he's in the news for being a self-proclaimed "idiot."

Yes, Cummysnatch, you ARE an "idiot." But not in the way you think. First off, you were on the sanctimonious Tavis Smiley show. He's black. He constantly finds ways of tossing in references to blacks and black history, and he's more than capable of telling you if you're an "idiot" or not. If he did, or didn't, case closed.

Second point, you blue-eyed pale-faced demon (as Malcolm X would've called you), how the fuck are YOU supposed to know, from your ivory tower, what to call the darkies these days? They don't even know what to call themselves. Some call themselves NIGGER every fuckin' second. Others say NIGGA. Others laugh and say "Chocolate" and a dozen more terms. And "people of color" is their annoying "new" way of saying "colored people."

How the fuck are YOU supposed to know that "people of color" is ok, but "colored people" isn't? What's the big fucking difference? We're talking about illiterates who obviously don't know how to use the language, or they'd deep six "nigger" and "nigga" and "colored people" and "people of color" and just say "BLACK." Or "BROWN."

After all, they don't say "Caucasian" or "people without color." They say "WHITE."

Lastly, Scumbagbatch, in America and the U.K. these people make up 10% or 15% of the population, more or less. In major cities, more. In rural areas, less. We see more than enough of them compared to that. How many fucking American movies are without BLACKS in them? Very few. They even turned Little Orphan Annie black. When whites complained that Little Orphan Annie is NOT BLACK, they were condemned as racists. When two black actors (named Wayans) made a movie in WHITEFACE, white people weren't allowed to complain about reverse racism.

"As far as colored actors go, it gets really difficult in the UK."

Really? As opposed to colored terrorists? Go stroll around Birmingham, my boy. It'll get REALLY DIFFICULT for YOU. Go tell Lenny Henry how difficult it is in the UK. Tell Lennox Lewis. Tell Herbie Hide. Tell "Delboy" Chisora. What, there aren't enough blacks in Downton Abbey? FUCK YOU, Egghead Benedict. Better yet, dye yourself black. You already look like a tranny, why not be a black one? Lead by example. IDIOT.

Fox Suicide Asshole Phil Perea - And YOU can Earn $84 an Hour...

That's showing 'em.

Some idiot who worked at Fox News (yes, one of literally thousands of psycho idiots) killed himself at Fox headquarters in NYC. He came all the way from Texas to do this? Did he at least see "Phantom of the Opera" or "Lion King" the night before??

Fox headquarters, as you see below, is in one of those bland office buildings that all look alike. (I almost forgot that I have actually been in their studio a few times. First time I looked at the photo I didn't even recognize the place).

He chose this morning, when news of a titanic blizzard has led most New Yorkers to get in early in order to leave early. Or to not come in at all, and go run to pull food off the supermarket shelves like mad squirrels going for nuts.

In keeping with our idiotic times, Phil Perea TWEETED about his problems, and even created a hashtag that he hoped would rival #JeSuisCharlie. Something like #phil'sright. Or whatever. WHO the fuck cares. Do you? We all know Fox slants the news for their tea party and Republican dumbass viewership. That's a reason to kill yourself? Obviously if you work for Fox news, you have a screw loose.

Phil could've taken a few Fox assholes along with him, but nah, he'd rather keep them alive and feeling SO guilty about driving him to suicide.

I told you he was nuts.

He might as well have expected Fox news to give a glowing testimonial to him and come out in favor of gun control.

All he's done is have a few people shrug and say "One less lunatic in the world." EXCEPT...

EXCEPT...

It did give the spammers another chance to throw one of their irrelevant and heartless spam-ads into the comments section, battling with the other time-wasters with nothing better to do:

Perea might just as well have killed himself after leaving a screed against "Spammers of COMMENTS SECTIONS."

Come on, Phil, would it have been just as heroic to kill yourself because you were tired of seeing dopey "My co-worker's half-sister..." fast money scams? Are they any more annoying than being in a cubicle at fucking Fox News??

Fox News isn't damaged by what happened. And if this moron killed himself over spam, it wouldn't have mattered either. There will never be laws that say: $500 fine for spam ads in comments sections.

Why doesn't the government crack down on Internet abuses? Because GOOGLE and FRIENDS are behind almost all of them. Because it's against "INTERNET FREEDOM OF SPEECH" to make some spam-head stop polluting comment sections with greedy stupid advertising. Any time somebody dies, or there's a tragedy, if you glance at the comments, you'll see "YOU CAN MAKE MONEY ON THE INTERNET..." Yeah. By being a spammer.

All the Daily News (and the rest) do is react to a flagged comment a month or two later, suspend the account, and let the spammer have 10 fresh ones.

Anyone going after NETPAY20 and the other jerks out there? No. Are the HACKTIVISTS and Anonymous faggots in their Guy Fawkes effete masks going after NETPAY20? NO.

We're fortunate there were some government employees who came along to scrape Phil Perea off the sidewalk...a sidewalk now gently encrusted with freshly fallen snow.

NYC's warthog-faced block-headed do-nothing hack mayor, Bill DeBlasio, the worst piece of shit ever to soil the mayor's chair, announced that the city was going to get two feet of snow.

This is what NYC cares about today, remarkably believing something the mayor's said. It's also remarkable that DeBlasio cares about snow, because snow is white. Unlike his ugly wife and two parasitic children.

Yes, I digress from Phil Perea's sacrifice of himself for fucking FOX NEWS. It's no reason not to stick in an insult on DeBlasio. It's arguable which is worse, Fox being in business or DeBlasio being mayor. Either way, the death of Phil Perea is ultimately so unimportant in this crazy world he might as well be buried under a hill of beans.

"Dear Abby, lick...lick...lick" the dead Arab asshole

Yes, as one of my favorite bloggers wrote (referring to the moronic David Cameron), world leaders flocked to pay their respects to a "moderate Muslim." Couldn't he have stayed home and dealt with the plague of "moderate Muslims" taking over Birmingham? The "moderate Muslims" who behead soldiers right on the streets of England and blow up buses? "Blow Up Buses" is not the title of an old sit-com. It's the new shit of spreading fear throughout England.

Officially, Cameron and all the other world leaders came to Swordfish Arabia to praise a wonderful world leader. Of course, he wasn't. He was hypocrite tyrant who loved beheading and hated Jews and Christians. Dear Abby...King Abdullah...died at the overripe age of 90 and everybody had to act sad. Well, yeah, he could've been a total bastard like Sodomy Hussein or God Daffy. But he WAS a bastard.

It's unfortunate that, as Will Rogers said years ago, "diplomacy is saying NICE DOGGY while looking for a big stick." We need the oil and we're too nice to just storm in and take it. So all we can do is go along with the least of the evils, and buy from HIM over somebody worse. So it is, that political figures have to pretend to like a dirty, filthy rich pot-bellied despot. Joan Smith in The Independent, wrote the truth:

The piece went on and on, and so have other editorialists. They can. Politicians can't. They have to go fly around (on our dime) being diplomatic and pretending Kings aren't pricks. THIS guy was also a vain wad.

He dyed his pubic tuft of beard so it looked like he'd been eating camel shit. He wore a silly hankie on his head, weighted down by a mini hula-hoop. THAT is a good look?

So the bag of crap is being composted in some royal tomb, and the guy's halfwitted half-brother is shitting on the throne now. To quote the Zevon song, "Bagdad do whatever she please. Looks like another threat to world peace..."

Islam, that fine, fine religion, dictates that in Saudi Arabia women can't drive cars, can't do much of anything, and have to get their naughty bits dissected at an early age so that they won't be able to say "Gee, your Arab penis does NOTHING for me, maybe I should try somebody else." No, Arabarella, no cock will do much for your de-clitted slit. That's the way of ignorant savages who hide their insecurities behind bullying and bombast and the dictatorial "teachings" they warp so well.

Saudi Arabia, Cameron? Isn't that where it's FORBIDDEN to build a church?

We all know that power corrupts. Even so, the Middle East leaders seems to out-do most anyplace else in savagery, sexual perversion and drug abuse. How did this fat load who wore tablecloths all over himself, spend his time? Importing white women to flog? Having a private room to see Jews beheaded? Getting looped on hummus smoothies laced with rum?

So it is, that the leaders of the world flocked to mourn a miserable tyrant, and praised his corrupt brother, and the rotten country that, at best, is as tolerable as a fart in an elevator. They don't openly shit on people, like Syria or Yemen. Maybe that's 'cause Dear Abby was a MODERATE muslim? And didn't want to get his tablecloth dress dirty?

Send LAWYERS, GUNS, from HERSHEY - The Chocolate's Hit the Fan

One of the stupidest examples of legal bullying has just hit Americans in the mouth.

There's a reason the anus is called the "Hershey Highway." That company's assholes have just dumped their shit on Cadbury, and on anyone who distributes Cadbury products!

This is the "real world." On the Internet, you can abuse copyright all you want, and people shrug. "Oh, what harm does it do if we steal every Beach Boys album. They're rich. Oh, what harm does it do if we steal every indie artist's music, or every struggling author's books. The people who grab it off the torrents wouldn't have bought it anyway."

By that logic, the people who go to specialty shops and British import stores to buy a fucking Yorkie bar...wouldn't have bought it anyway? Would prefer a stinking Hershey bar instead?

What level of insanity have we reached when LAWYERS can actually put up a case that a round York Peppermint Patty made out of toothpaste-like mint, can be confused with a Yorkie bar? WHERE is the competition?

The New York Times, which does care about all things British, and twee little shops that sell British goods, reported this story. (Had it been about blogger assholes stealing music and constantly re-upping and getting dozens of new blogs through Google...no.)

What kind of MORONS does Hershey think can't tell the difference between a TOFFEE bar, and their PEANUT BUTTER cups? The packaging is that similar? No, it's not.

All we have here, is good old fashioned American bullying. Hershey is bigger than Cadbury and Nestle, and they want a bigger piece of the candy bar market.

You can bet that the Internet won't help. The biggest importers for individual sales, who already charge a fortune in postage, will automatically block Americans from ordering. Americans are aleady blocked from ordering a music download off Amazon UK, for example, and eBay forbids their "everything else; adults only" auctions from showing up on Ebay UK and other version of eBay around the world. So it will be up to a few renegades to tell Hershey, "go ahead, SUE ME," over a box of dollar Yorkie bars. It will be up to a few sneaky eBay sellers and obscure shops to somehow get a British friend to ship a box overseas in a plain box marked "Tampons" or something.

I can understand a concern if we're talking about a product made in two different countries that happens to be the same, like the British and American pressing of a Beatles CD. But is either country SO fantastic or so poor, that they'd care if a small group of people preferred the import?

Meanwhile, America has allowed Detroit (Ford, Chevy, etc.) to go into ruin while allowing the import of Toyotas.

George's Anal Clooney - the spider woman antisemite

Some people think Anal Clooney is the new Jackie Kennedy, or something.

Others wonder what kind of quirk caused George to marry her, and the answer might be "opposites attract." He was dating blonde bimbo types (like a professional fake-wrestler). She's dark haired and sophisticated. He's liberal, and she's a cunt. Women swoon over him but she wasn't even that interested in going out for a date. Pussy whipped, is a term for what happened on the way to the altar.

Take a look. She's the cat who ate the canary. He's the dumbass dog who is secretly muttering, "How did I get into this misery?"

Naturally if GEORGE is impressed with her, everybody else is supposed to be, too. For one thing, she's part of that Middle East world we all fear. Let's not say ANYTHING against somebody with an Arab-sounding name.

Let's instead go overboard in praising this strong woman (if not her fine, fine religion) even at the expense of hapless George. You might remember the Golden Globes where smart 'n snippy Amy Poehler and Tina Fey presided, hurling barbs at anyone with a dick. Including clueless Mr. Clooney. Quoth Tina:

“Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her HUSBAND is getting a lifetime achievement award.”

Got it? Dopey ol' George Clooney has only spent 20 or more years making blockbuster movies, movies with messages, talking about Liberal political issues, and lending his name to good causes. What a clunk! HE gets a lifetime achievement award? One of, oh, two or three Hollywood stars who has any kind of social awareness?

Now look at his wonderful wife! A "human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case." Yeah? Lots of lawyers worked on the Enron case, and there are lots of human rights lawyers in the world. Many simply use a few high profile cases to gain fame and pile on the usual corrupt "billing hours" fees. Gloria Allred is a human rights lawyer, right? Next?

She was an "adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria." So? When was Syria NOT a heartless, bloodthirsty insane country? Whatever she said to Kofi Annan either couldn't or wouldn't be followed. PS, anyone who sends him an e-mail could be considered an "adviser" to him. NEXT?

Next and last, is that this bitch was "selected for a three-person commission investigating rules of war violations..." by ISRAEL. Not by Palestine. In other words, Anal Clooney is Arab to the core.

The NY Post:

If she was Asian, a lot of mean people would call Anal Clooney a "dragon lady." She's Arabic. Maybe "hummus lady." As in hum us a fancy tune, lady, and sister-cunts like Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will dance to it.

Aw, poor bratty Barrett - from Mommy's basement to JAIL

It's nice when some "hacktivist" brat actually gets sent to the slammer.

It's called "Welcome to the Real World."

As obnoxious as this blog sometimes is, it's clearly just being funny, letting off steam, and only an idiot would take it too seriously. And it's not doing anything illegal or libelous. That's the thing. SOME people know the law. Others, hacktivists, make the incredibly stupid mistake of thinking what they THINK the law should be, is what it is. Or they're just arrogant.

BARRETT (not a dead rock star, not a dead cat) has been in the can for quite a while, denied bail because nobody wants to chase the little snot around the world, or watch him put on a faggot Guy Fawkes mask and give speeches all over the place. Now that he's been convicted he'll be canned for a few years more.

He did a lot more than what you or I might be guilty of, which would be sharing some link to a download song. Nah, THIS guy was much more political.

There's tons of stuff on this idiot, but one article had a line I liked:

"The obstruction charge relates to an attempt by Brown and his mother to hide a laptop from authorities during a search of her home in March 2012. Brown’s mother was separately charged with obstruction and given six months probation."

Gosh, MOM.

Brown, by the way, is 31, which is a little fucking old to be a computer dweeb, Internet piss, and a member of "anonymous" goon squads full of pimply self-important comic book villains.

It's pretty fucking disappointing to see the the pitiful level these cretins are at. They're not MY fucking idea of "pirates" or dissidents or radicals. Take a look at the 60's news clips. At the start of that decade, clean-cut guys in white shirts went down South and took their lives in their hands to fight for integration. That was their idea of protest. Some dweebs, with the horn-rimmed glasses and goatees, may have stayed behind and wrote pieces for the underground newspapers and "Sing Out!" and "Village Voice" and whatever, but they weren't anonymous and they were fighting for freedom not "free music via stealing everything and posting it on Rapidshare."

By the time the decade ended, all that changed was the hair styles and the clothing. The guys may have had hippie tie-dyed shirts and long hair as they got maced by cops and in some cases, killed. (Neil Young's song about four dead in Ohio was based on a real incident, kiddies.)

So what's going on now? As the problems of the world have increased, the "kids" have become more selfish, gutless and cowardly. They bully each other on Farcebook and Titter. They spend their time "sharing" music, movies, APPS and games and playing stupid fucking "denial of service" games against any rock star or entertainment website that complains. They send threats to their government officials over...ANY attempt to make them pay for a fucking comic book that they want to distribute as a pdf.

Oh, once in a while somebody gets the idea, "Hey, let's show we can do something GOOD, like Jesse James or John Gotti. Let's go make threats against a North Korean website or something." Gosh. Thanks. Mostly, no. Mostly it's just childish bratty bullshit, and IF I'M BEING HONEST, being 20 fucking years old is no excuse. 20 year-olds in the 60's and 70's were fighting good fights.

They were fighting for causes, whether they were pro-integration, anti-war, or pro-abortion or gay rights or whatever. Whether the target was big, like the ecology or ending the draft, or smaller, like the anti-fur movement, they were using their energy towards something far more important than the "right" to have "free access" to every Beach Boys record. And how pathetic that grown people twice or THREE TIMES their age were doing the same stupid shit. Yeah, not every idiot blogger is 20.

Pinheads mourn and sulk and growl and vow to "get even" any time some pimply pisser gets jailed. "How wrong, how wrong," they whine. Just like they whine "copyright is copy WRONG." Bread and water for you assholes, because you have no heart or brains.

Too fucking bad the Internet generation doesn't know some "old school" methods, like going out and protesting (like the niggas did in Ferguson, for example). Too bad they don't use the new methods of hacking to be real vigilantes and mavericks and do it to the real enemies, and make it stick. Nah, go play "denial of service" against Sony because you want a free Brooooose album, but don't do it to Haliburton or Exxon or Syria's website. Nah, no fun in THAT.

Jeff Bezos. Bozo BABY BEZOS SHITS HIS DIAPERS

One baby step back for Mussolini-wanna-be JEFF BEZOS.

His plan to take over the world included marketing DIAPERS. Shit, what's more essential to happy breeding and spawning than keeping BABY in diapers? Bald-headed BEZOS probably knows first hand, as he's at the age where he probably shits himself every day.

BABY BEZOS had a halfway decent idea, Amazon, where you could buy junk on line and eliminate the middle man (the store where you tested out the item first). Then he became a fucking Mussolini power-mad psychopath.

His big thing was books. He sold 'em at a big discount. NO shipping if the total order was over $25. Watta guy. But how quickly the prick changed, and was soon dictating to publishing companies, and even upping the free shipping deal to $35. The maniac even began listing used/promo books, so a customer didn't have to buy from HIM, but from an authorized dealer that gave HIM a percentage. Thus, an author of a brand new book was being fucked on Amazon by freelance sellers hawking used and promo items for which the author gets NO royalties. Thanks, BOZO BEZOS YOU BASTARD.

But the idea was to block eBay and knock it down a notch. (Irony: eBay began emulating Amazon, demanding that its sellers offer NEW items, and sell "buy it now" garbage without the trademark auctioning and bidding).

Next, Bezos bombarded his website with plugs for his new KINDLE, which was a way to destroy the book world entirely. As well as make himself a fortune as the maker of the fucking device. He then competed with iTunes for music downloads. Like Hitler invading Poland and France, BEZOS began invading everyone's territory.

Anywhere he could stick his ugly head he did. Except up an elephant's ass where it belongs.

BABY BEZOS is a greedy, nasty little brat. Whatever he wants, he's gotta have. Netflix? Itunes? Book publishing? HE decides to do it, too. So it's no surprise that this shit head would even want to corner the diaper market. Mr. Shit for Brains has even gone backward and is plotting to open AMAZON STORES.

Yes, after putting so many stores out of business, HE is going to take over so that people can...er, uh, buy on line and then go to the STORE to pick the item up! Crazy? Jeff Bezos is acting like a madman. He looks like a cold, reptillian villain Mike Myers could play in a new "Austin Powers" movie.

He is one loathsome fucking piece of shit, and he should wear a diaper on his deranged and ugly head. (Not that I mean to sound insulting...)

LINDSEY VONN: TIGER WOODS BREAKS TOOTH DURING CUNNILINGUS

Dizzy blonde sperm bucket LINDSEY VONN is refuting the rumors that Tiger Woods broke a tooth on her cunt.

It's another setback for "Tiger" Woods (originally nickname for the puppet-faced pineapple was "Pussy.") First, it was revealed that he was a sadistic bully with a predatory eye for white women. Physical abuse, colorful insults, and a penchant for painfully slamming his putter up white lady asshole was part of his game. Cheating on his wife made it all the more fun.

Once the facts became known, and his wife divorced him, Lindsey Vonn came skiing to meet him, which wasn't easy, since "Tiger" doesn't like snow. Snow white women, yes. Actual snow, not so much.

Throwing herself at him, with all the exuberance of the airhead slut-whore, she won him over. It helped that "Tiger" couldn't win much else. Especially golf championships.

Now an acknowledged has-been and hack, poor "Tiger" has been reduced to hanging around like Willie Best or Stepin Fetchit while the resurgent Vonngina suddenly has won a few minor tournaments.

As to "Tiger" suddenly walking around in a face mask that would embarrass even Dereck Chisora? He was embarrassed to reveal his missing tooth.

Rumors swirled that he was "downhill" on Lindsey, and hadn't waited for the bitch's cunt to thaw. Snow Queen Lindsey DOES spend a lot of time on frigid mountains, doing the most intellectual thing she can do: ski.

So here we have Lindsey insisting that a photographer somehow knocked a tooth out of "Tiger." WHEN DID YOU EVER HEAR OF THAT HAPPENING BEFORE?

It does make it just as logical that he broke it while impatiently chomping on the frozen vanilla of Lindsey's twat.

"I know this is all a load of shit from a pair of garbage cans," Vonn muttered to a wall, "but we've got to get our name out there for endorsements and stuff. We can't have Kanye and Kim grabbing EVERYTHING." Then she began to sneeze. But it sounded like it was coming out of her ass. Along with some soft-serve "Tiger" milk.

Orthodox Psychos

In case anyone wonders, THIS blog IS an equal opportunity lampooner when it comes to religion. ALL religions have their share of shit-headed idiocy. It's just that the MUSLIMS are the most violent and insane about it.

BUT...

The big irony in this world is that the two groups that hate each other the most are the most alike.

Can you tell a filthy Arab from a filthy Jew? Not really. Which is why Lebanese Danny Thomas had a career for 50 fucking years, and even played the lead in "The Jazz Singer," the 50's film re-make about a Jew (originally played by Al Jolson) who doesn't want to be a cantor.

When it comes to forcing women into ridiculous cover-ups, the Orthodox Jews are just as nuts as the Muslims. When it comes to "dietary laws" pork is OFF the menu with both idiot groups. And while the Arabs refuse to let women have any rights at all, and even circumcise them (a nice word for the grotesque slicing of the clitoris) look at the weak grip on reality that the Orthodox Jews have.

The Orthodox Jews really think that GOD is against women marching against antisemitism? Against terrorism? Really?

Orthodox Jews are nuts enough to ALTER REALITY because they can't bear the sight of WOMEN?????

I tell you what I wish for every nutsoid Orthodox Rabbi: it's a smelly woman sitting naked on his face.

Only these fucking hypocrites would like it. Don't say that there aren't rabbis who haven't sexually abused girls. Or boys. In the insane and insular world of Brooklyn Orthodox Jewry, for example, it seems that there's always the periodic "rabbi accused of..." article. It doesn't generally go too far. The headlines recede. The tough, NYC newspapers suddenly get timid, as they do any time a Jewish landlord is pointed at for being a slumlord. Let's not turn our heads to reality. NYC, which has more Jews than anywhere else in America, is NOT going to go slammin' the Hebes TOO hard. Any more than they're going to be anti-Black Protest. It's too much to dwell on the truth behind a stereotype, or to fuck with two groups (blacks and Jews) that, after all, have much to gripe about when it comes to evil and stupid discrimination.

The bottom line is that no group, no religion, no bunch of people is going to emerge as that much better than the homicidal and intolerant Muslims. While they aren't actively being terrorists, there's certainly a lot of quiet terror being inflicted on Jews, Catholics, and even Buddhists by their "leaders." A bunch of idiots who have to Photoshop a fucking photo to remove a woman is a case in point. PS, where in the Bible does God mention approving of Photoshop?

A Drag: Jonathan Woss Helps Promote British Wimpiness

"The British Disease."

Since the days of Oscar Wilde, and probably earlier, that's a term for homosexuality.

It would be helpful, in this age of Muslim insanity, for Great Britain to LOSE THE POOFTER identity.

Yes, "drag" is a grand British tradition. People still remember Danny LaRue fondly. Not to mention Old Mother Riley. It may have reached its peak of public acceptance via Monty Python, and Dame Edna (technically an Aussie but best known through British TV series).

BUT ENOUGH ALREADY. Hey, Jonathan WOSS, you already have a poofter for competition (Graham Norton) and so YOU are trying to strike back by producing a British version of RuPaul's DRAG RACE??? REALLY???

I know I'm getting older and more jaded all the time, but still: is there ANYONE who isn't SICK AND TIRED OF GODDAM BITCHY DRAG QUEENS???

I'm sick of 'em. And I'm sick of idiot sex-change morons in England having their inane sob stories drift across the pond, too. British fight manager turns into a woman. Two ugly middle-aged "women" getting married. KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES, you twits. You prance around in your dresses when insane REAL bitches in BURKAS are around? You want to have more than your dick beheaded??

Now Jonathan WOSS wants to do some fucking "reality show" about drag queens. Right, Jon. And YOU are gonna save the British empire? When the most famous thing you ever did was a childish phone call prank against a very aging "Fawlty Towers" cast member? As if androgyne idiot Russell Brand isn't bad enough? Oh sure, let's have Russell Brand hiss one of his bitchy quips in front of an insane Arab waving a very sharp saber at his neck. Yeah, Russell, that'll work.

Gays and drag queens certainly don't deserve abuse. Although of Quentin Crisp hadn't been beaten up, John Hurt may never have had a big break into big time show biz.

NOW is not the time to limp-wrist it around. The U.K. doesn't need drag queens OR derby hat fops (the kind John Cleese loved to parody). The country needs more of the Churchill bull dog and less of the impotent BULLSHIT. Unless it's going to be the United Kingdom of Emirates. And remember, the Arabs do NOT like gays or drag queens any more than they like women.

We're Supposed to be Sad it wasn't Crosby?

It's been a slow week for celebrity deaths, SO...the tabloids are telling us to be all torn up about this:

IF I'M BEING HONEST, on a normal week of misery, this guy's obit would be in very small type.

Let's remember, even if you LIKE CSN or CSN&Y, that they were a harmony group. Inanely so. They didn't rock as much as they pussyfooted (if you remember the hippie-dippie-trippie faggy "Marrakesh Express"). Most of their shit didn't even sound like there were drums on 'em at all ("Our House is a very very fine house...")

I guess the reason some lamebrains might feel somber is the reminder that all FOUR are eligible to drop dead: Crosby, Stills, Nash and Mr. Young, who already went through surgery on his brain.

It's death-defying that anyone cares. What was this supergroup's "legacy?" One sappy debut album, and another with the jarring presence of Neil Young? Afer that thre were a few paler attempts at making more albums but with less hit songs on 'em.

This reminds me of all the drips who LOVE the fucking Beach Boys, and actually like all the shitty albums and re-packaged versions of "Pet Sounds" when this group was basically a handful of hit singles and nothing more.

Grown men harmonizing in each others' faces. It's just a touch too BUKKAKE for ME, thanks.

So farewell and goodbye to a guy getting headlines because the only other musical death lately is Ward Swingle. Dallas had a pretty thin resume if CSN/CSNY was the highlight. Christ, that incredible drum solo on "Our House" is so unforgettable. Oh. Right. There wasn't one.

"You Can NOT beat Syria?" Yes: Saudi Arabia is SHITTIER

Isn't it John McEnroe's famous catch-phrase? "You can NOT beat Syria!"

No, maybe not. But seriously, while the focus these days are on twin hell holes Syria and Yemen, home base for so much terrorism training, let's not forget our ally, SAUDI ARABIA.

See, if an Arab nation is SMART (well, relatively) and doesn't openly attack white people, it gets a pass. Saudi Arabia isn't known for abusing Jews. Of course not. They don't have any! They are an APARTHEID STATE. They also aren't known for abusing Christians because...again...go find a church in Saudi Arabia!

The Daily Beast, once known as Newsweek (we MUST dumb down for the kiddies) mentions this:

Dizzy Desi the Toot (Desmond Tutu) who walks around in dresses and giggles alot, keeps insisting Israel is the one and only Apartheid country. Everyplace else, where Jews either have been kicked out, or live as a tiny and humble minority, is fine. This view is echoed by asshole musicians pseudo-great (Roger Waters) and totally obscure (Jim Glover).

Here's The Daily Beast on the first two weeks of 2015 in Saudi Arabia.

What can we do, but slurp up the oil from these fine, fine people who are part of a fine, fine religion called Islam?

What can we do, but ask Saudi Arabia or Egypt or one of the other "lesser evils" to at least not openly promote insane Muslim backwardness, and most certainly NOT openly endorse ISIS, HAMAS, and other terrorist groups.

What can we do, except whistle a happy tune, look the other way, and NOT remind people that the terrorists were trained by the CIA and that America has a long history of funding lunatic "rebels" who either toppled bad regimes, or tried to, only to be even worse.

What we most certainly CAN do, is encourage more immigration of these psychos, and coddle even the most vicious, like the puppy who maimed and murdered people at the Boston Marathon. How long ago was that, and he's only NOW coming to trial? To deter crime, you need the death penalty, and fast.

We fear the Muslims because they behead people. They don't fear US, because we pat the on the head, bend over backwards to be "fair" and the death penalty is banned almost everywhere. With appeals and whining, even someone sentenced to death can live for 20 or 30 years before finally facing Old Sparky, or a "cruel" injection.

And so it goes.

The Arab countries are all vicious and backward. But what country is always reviled more? That little sliver of sand called Israel. And around the world, who remain the scapegoats for all to hate? Jews. It's almost a joke, isn't it? Like, if there were no Jews, the Arabs would be pussycats. Except nobody at Charlie Hebdo was Jewish, and if there were no Jews, the Muslims would just concentrate on the Christians and Hindus and Buddhists...which, come to think of it, they are doing. ISIS just captured two Japanese and are threatening to behead them. That's JAPs, not "Jewish American People."

Amber Rose, fat-assed ugly tattoo-cunted publicity whore

Anyone out there know who the fuck Amber Rose is?

I think I've asked this question before. This hideous whore maybe is a sperm bank to some repulsive rap star.

Or she's famous for being some kind of fat-assed bald-headed brain-dead mutant.

Like a hideous accident, we're all supposed to stare in wonder at a photo of her.

At least, that's what the tabloids expect. This photo is a visual expectorant.

Jesus Christ, I think I'd rather go queer than be anywhere near this infected ton of flubber.

She hit the beach all right, like an infected, dying whale. You can almost smell fish when you look at that photo.

Gruesome hips, a Pillsbury Dough-ass, and the requisite blotches of tattoo ink. Lord pity the tattoo guy who had to work while inhaling the sewer fumes from Amber Rose's vagina.

What's with the cue-ball head? She wants to prove to the world she's never had a lobotomy? That she's naturally stupid?

I'll admit that her tits aren't bad, although they're drooping in the twin slings, and if let loose could be mistaken for blind puffer fish.

The good news with this bitch, is that if she goes in the water, it's great for other bathers. She's a shark repellant. Even crabs scuttle the other way.