BLAH BLAH BLOG - Shauna Cuntwell Opens a Crack

Congratulations, SHAUNA.

What the world needs now is BLAH, SWEET BLOG.

Spic of How Great Immigrants Are....

Here's a fine, fine immigrant. Remember, it's RACIST to suggest that ANY immigrant should be denied a chance to be in America.

It's RACIST to complain that Mexicans come scrambling over the border to create chaos.

In the Lollipop World of Sugar-Coated Suckers, the Statue of Liberty can't be wrong. She says "BRING US..." any piece of shit, to take care of, coddle, put on welfare, and give a low rent apartment to breed in.

Wanna bet how many of the Mexican women, South American women, ASIAN women...brought into the country to work in cheap whore houses...are servicing WHITE REPUBLICANS?

It's fortunate that the Statue of Liberty has a metal cunt and it's concealed under a metal dress. Otherwise she'd be pimped out by some greasy Mexican bastard too.

You've Lost that Living Feeling -- Dead Guy was Rapist

Some good news. Bill Medley is actually still alive.

And the guy who raped and killed his ex-wife is not.

Know what would've happened if the perp was caught back in 1976? HE would still be alive.

He would've been sent to prison and coddled for twenty or thirty years, maybe even paroled if it could be proved he was now a really swell guy, or, that he couldn't get a swelled dick and rape anybody anymore.

Happily, the career criminal got shot to death in 1982. DNA from a relative, and other stuff on file, proved that he was responsible.

As fans of a new paradigm in the zeitgeist of the 21st century would extoll, "there's closure."

Two Fucking Twats Clashing Over Trump

This IS sort of funny.

How much further dumbing down do you want?

The big news of the day is that two cruddy no-talents are clashing over FOREIGN POLICY.

No, it's not Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton pulling each others hair out as they scream about who should be the next Secretary of State, which would also be hilarious, but two black pussies having a verbal catfight on the Internet over Trump banning the Muzzies.

Wow, AZALEA BANKS. How many of HER songs are in your iTunes collection?

Considering what she does for a living, I'm a little surprised that a) she actually cares about anything going on in the real world, and b) that she can express herself without veering completely into Ebonics.

Pretty good. She did start cursing toward the end, and acting ghetto, but the first paragraph was thoughtful.

I think most people ARE concerned with homicidal immigrants flooding into the country.

It's been frustrating that so many high-profile attacks (San Bernadino, Florida, Boston Marathan) have come NOT from wild-eyed immigrants but from supposedly domesticated Muzzies who had jobs, seemed assimilated, and acted as if they were glad to be in America.

So waddya do? Shrug every time they go nuts and take out five, ten, or fifty people? Or shut them down?

Anyone expect our ridiculous GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS to screen these maniacs for us? It can't be done. In most cases, the ones who have done all the damage (including the pricks who flew the planes into the WTC towers) would've gotten the green light anyway. The pilots who rammed the WTC towers didn't seem demented. So how do you tell?

Is it better to say NO to ALL of them. Better safe than sorry?

An irony here is that Trump is President, not KING, and at the moment, his order to block the Muzzies is NOT being carried out. Some people in the Justice Department and in Immigration are saying it's unconstitutional, it's illegal, etc. etc. In fact, the acting Attorney General told her staff not to bother. So Trump fired her.

It'll be amusing if he keeps firing each Attorney General, because NONE of them will do something that is clearly contrary to The Constitution.

Rihanna? I didn't even know she wasn't an American citizen.

All I know about her is that song about having an Umbrella-ella-ella.

Rihanna answered back:

Huh?

Rappers tossing insults back and forth generally have all the subtlety of monkeys hurling shit at each other in the zoo.

This includes the WHITE asshole Eminem.

Azalea did write this, and it's no shit:

"I am 100% shook about open borders and would be reallllllllllllly scared for my self and my family if any parts of that war began to become real on this soil.”

Yo, girl. Correct. How many Muzzies would it take to go berserk and do a LOT of damage on American soil? I mean, a sustained "going out with a blaze of glory" assault? We've got entire cities full of Somali maniacs. We've got "no go zone" areas of the ghetto. There are little areas where every minority from Italians to Orthodox Jews "control" a neighborhood. Who really wants ten or twenty Muzzies to gather inside a Mosque, hand out automatic weapons, and take an entire fucking school hostage, or destroy an entire small town?

Frank Zappa sang "It can't happen HERE..." but he was JOKING. Then again, you think Rihanna has any Zappa stuff in HER collection?

I don't even have a copy of her singing "Umbrella...ella...ella." Which I must admit is catchy. So are bullets fired from an AK47. They can catch about 50 people in under 5 minutes, right?

Remember school? The teacher, after a few idiots acted up, said, "That's it, you ALL are going to be punished..."

Maybe that's what Trump is saying. "You ALL are going to be punished, you Muzzie lunatics."

Who said life was fair? But then again, if the alternative is losing your life entirely because you let in some very nice Muzzies who suddenly went nuts and knocked off a dozen people in San Bernadino for no fucking reason...

That's a lot of innocent gals and fellas-ellas-ellas.

Chapman on What's Killing Songwriters

No, no, no, not THAT Chapman, the one who actually killed a songwriter.

I'm referring to Beth Nielsen Chapman.

I was just listening to a song called "Shadows," which was pretty elegant, and had a winking reference to Joni Mitchell's "Clouds" in it. She wrote "World of Hurt," which was pretty darn good.

Naturally I thought, "what's up with her..." and visited her website. There, I noticed a blog entry that pretty much said, look, you are NOT making money as a songwriter, but write anyway.

Before somebody shoots you in the back.

I abridge the rest of it:

"Beyond disheartening...music has never generated more wealth than it does today. That’s right. Don’t ever think just because it’s “free” that it isn’t generating energy and wealth to the gatekeepers (but) fair compensation to songwriters has never been more blocked, usurped, withheld or hijacked.

Attention, eyeballs, clicks, data mining, massive use of ads and other stuff, is syphoned off, consumed and controlled by huge billion dollar companies with little connection with or concern for the damage that has been done to this creative community. The “old gatekeepers” meaning the major labels and publishers have done their best to land grab what they can, in some cases making under the table arrangements with the “new gatekeepers” from their position of power of ownership of large catalogs....The working songwriter working through a publisher (which is the majority) has been trampled.

I do not have the answer. In spite of anger and frustration about this, I still preach the gospel of “Write Anyway.” If you were born to be a songwriter this is no time to be practical. We need to hear your voice more than ever before.

Think about how certain songs inform our lives. In one of my favorite Joni Mitchell lines she describes time as “marked by lovers and styles of clothes.” She could have just as easily said that about songs, too. The way songs enrich our lives cannot be measured. Those with the gift to write the most brilliant songs have provided our culture and humanity with something that is priceless. Once a great song is sent out into the world it carries it’s own replenishment as it’s shared from heart to heart...

You are the only one with your voice who can tell your story from your spot.

It’s wonderful to feel respected and fairly compensated for your work. But the irony is, in order to truly tap into creativity you have to let go of worrying about that and open fully into the flow. You are the CEO of your one-and-only unique point in all time and space, that one unique perspective—looking out from behind your eyes, through the filter of your heart and history. The sharing of your story and your life’s experience through creative expression is the most important work you can do as a human. Well, that and raising children with love...

I keep a picture of Van Gogh near my piano. I know no matter what insanity is happening in the professional world of songwriting I must “write anyway.”

Yeah. Fine. She teaches songwriting. She tries to have a "day job" obviously. And you can find her CDs pretty easily in bargain bins and for little more than postage via eBay or Amazon. Tis better to have written and lost, than to never have written at all. Uh, except for YOU, Saskia.

In the Midst of Doomsday, Trump Shouts MAY DAY!

Yes, while dour, dough-cheeked Irky Merkel glowers and clucks, PM May is all smiles.

There are SO many news items about Trump (almost as many as there are about the various Kardashians and Jenners) it's hard to pick up on them all.

Toward the bottom of the page, among the articles on Trump's appointments, executive orders, choices to fill his cabinet and the Supreme Court, etc. etc. was a rumbling about May worrying that her citizens might resent her attitude toward The Donald.

Would May actually meet with Trump or not?

Mexico's sleaze bag shouted that he would NOT meet with Trump. Then he changed his mind and had a phone call.

So what would May do?

This WAS at the bottom of the page, since Americans are more concerned with what the Mexican President would do, and who Trump is appointing and his latest decrees.

While May was deciding whether to fly to America, his latest outrage was to sign some sort of paper limiting the number of Syrians the USA would take, and also stating that there would be a freeze on "unfriendly" countries in general.

May wasn't being DENIED the right to fly to America, but the media was more than glad to show all the sad Muzzie faces and drooping burqas, and how a lot of families were lost in bureaucratic snafus, or being turned away at airports. Awwwwww.

It got so bad, at the SAG awards (yet another pat on the back evening for actors) Lily Tomlin stood up and declared Trump was Hitler.

Some film maker from Iran announced that he might not be able to make the OSCARS show because he might not be able to get a flight in. Awww and double awwww.

While May's arrival was a mere footnote, the media was crying and moaning that the Statue of Liberty's message was being pissed on. There were quotes from various leaders (even Republicans) that it was AWFUL that The Donald was doing something so un-American. America welcomes immigrants no matter what!

As it turned out, May did meet with Trump, and they smiled.

And she didn't back down in stating that TERRORISM is a damn important problem!

Trump's a businessman and he's for Brexit. Enough said.

He also stated that he felt Mexico had fucked over America for years, and it was time to bite back. No, it wasn't just that a bunch of obese jabbering idiots have been flooding into the country, causing everyone to learn Spanish, and open more Taco Bell restaurants. Trump was angry that Mexico had a sweet deal that was sending more business South of the Border.

Naturally economists can't really agree on a damn thing. Some insist that Trump is right, and others worry that he's pissing off the Mexicans and we need their good will.

Of more worry, really, is whether Trump will stop being an idiot about Climate Change, and acknowledge that it's real.

Of more worry, really, is whether Trump will stop appointing corrupt corporate bastards who will gut environmental agencies and try to overturn abortion laws.

Of more worry, really, are the many things this over-active 6 year-old can do (in under 10 days he's signed a blizzard of documents) that would make the country so fucked up no immigrant would want to enter.

How about health care? He wants to scuttle Obamacare, for what? Health care is a very complicated issue, involves a fortune, and involves the corrupt Big Pharma companies, and Trump is not going to find it so easy to simply tell millions of people that they can go off and die.

Still, the man worry is that Trump is being mean to Muzzies and Mexicans.

Some theorize that Trump is making America look villainous. Hey, Barry HUSSEIN Obama didn't do much and HOW many ISIS attacks rocked the world? He showed plenty of restraint and WHAT good did it do?

Can anyone be so sure that Trump's tough stance isn't the right one? Let's notice that ISIS has stopped bragging so much. They're laying low? Maybe they're very afraid that Trump might make a deal with Putin, and they both combine bombing forces and blow Syria to bits.

Syria is where ISIS has so many brazen "training camps." Syria is where the smug monkeys hide among the ordinary people, figuring, "Ha ha ho ho hee hee, nobody will bomb buildings that contain innocent people as well as US." Don't be too sure, Habib.

Who the fuck is going to care that much, or for that long, if Aleppo is leveled?

Trump, very logically, complained that we all knew exactly where ISIS was, and O'Bambam refused to send down the missiles. Then, when he said he might authorize an attack...the ISIS bunch quickly disappeared to another city. You can bet, and ISIS can bet, that if intelligence pinpoints where the most obnoxious ISIS leaders are, Trump will bomb the shit out of them, no matter what. That's what war is all about. The bad guys have to know they can't hide among the innocent, just as innocent hostages have to know there will be no bargaining with kidnapping scumbags. Life is not fair.

So, May had a fairly difficult decision to make: to worry about the huge UK Muzzie bunch getting their turbans in a tizzy, or making nice with The Donald. She made the right choice.

Stars do NOT Reply, Bitch

Some D-listers fawn over their fanboys.

Especially if the fanboy offers a compliment ("You still are SO Beautiful!") or (even better) writes: "I bought an autographed photo from your website! I'll be sure to be at your next show so you can sign my arm!"

But other STARS know better. Even on Farcebook, keep a safe distance. NEVER acknowledge anybody. NEVER take REQUESTS.

Shaddap, Roberta. He'll do it IF he feels like it.

He has PRIORITIES.

He just posted "DOWNTOWN."

So everybody, just SUBSCRIBE, give THANKS, and let THE MAESTRO make his own choices.

Who the fuck ELSE is postin' a cappella on Farcebook and Gootube? Not Barry Gooker!

It's Still Early, but Here's a Nominee for PSYCHO OF THE YEAR

Darren's Mama? Horst's Mama? Amy's Mama?

Incredible.

This fat ugly bitch is so ARROGANT she puts a RESERVE PRICE on her smelly underwear.

Here's somebody a normal person wouldn't want to look at, much less SMELL.

Some people have a strong sense of self, to go with the strong odor from their nethers.

You'd like a close-up of that third photo? No?

TOO BAD. HERE IT IS ANYWAY.

It's a wonder.

It's a wonder the disgusting cow can reach a razor down between her legs and shave her twat.

Maybe she just rubs cheese in her pubes and has some rats bite the hair off.

Some of the ugliest, stupidest people in the world think people should BUY their soiled underwear.

This is even more ridiculous than the ones who simply think the world should waste time looking at them on GOOTUBE, showing what arrived in the mail from Amazon (wow, what an art form) or sitting in front of the camcorder grimacing while offering their OPINIONS or reading from "Pride and Prejudice."

I know, it gets worse...the ones who insist on SINGING, either with guitar, or all by their bug-eyed selves.

The world continues to breed clueless monsters.

Don't GIMME an AMEN

Instead of an AMEN, how about a FUCK OFF?

Such ADORABLE Tattoos

When do you suppose this little stinker will have a tattoo guy burn her skin with a suspender belt, knickers and stockings?

Another one of Roland's Fabulous Auctions!

What's WRONG with this Picture?

Everything.

PS, the seller will NOT deign to SOIL them unless the bid price is at least $35.

HEY, there's NOT ENOUGH FUCKING CHINESE

Surprised?

According to China, there's not enough FUCKING CHINESE.

So...they've upped the maximum, and now expect couples to have at least TWO children instead of one.

It seems that in spite of themselves, the Chinese have gone below "zero population growth." This is a BAD thing.

As the article points out:

"China faces a turning point over the next 15 years, particularly between 2021 and 2030. The aging of the population will accelerate, increasing pressure on social security and public services. At the same time, the working-age population will shrink, damaging economic growth and reducing the tax income required to support the elderly.

The report predicted that a quarter of China's population will be over 60 in 2030, compared with about 16 percent in 2015."

This echoes the problem in other countries, even the USA. Every year there's the threat to cut or do away with social security. There's an increasing prospect of old people living in sub-standard hospices till they die of malnutrition or neglect. The solution in the USA is to scream "More immigrants!" Or...to cheer wildly for redneck Christian families that have spawned a dozen children. MORE OF THAT! One way to become famous in America is to get into the papers for having a huge family. Then go on GOFUNDME.

Funny, the Chinese are not saying, "Bring some Syrians over. Let's have Somalis."

Nope, they want PURE CHINESE.

Anyone calling them RACISTS?

They could have quite a supply of cheap labor, couldn't they, if they opened the borders to starving Muslims. They won't.

They like the idea that in China, you find CHINESE. The same yellowy-complexion, the same slanty eyes, the same round faces, the same Moe haircuts on the men. Unlike Japan or South Korea, nobody in China is saying "let me have plastic surgery on my eyes." They won't want to look like Westerners. They want to look CHINESE. They also don't seem to give that much of a shit about American pop music or rap.

WHAT has caused the slowed birth rate in China and elsewhere? How about the END OF THE FUCKING WORLD?

As Randy Newman sang it, "If you paid attention, you'd be worried too." But if you only babble in Spanish, or you're some psycho Muslim who thinks Allah is on your side, you keep right on poppin' 'em outta that slack, dripping peculiar-smelling twat.

In America, the white race, and now even the black race, have slowed down in the baby-making derby. They see a future where everyone speaks Spanish, the culture is dominated by religious fanatics, and most of the year it's hot as hell. Oh yes...and they can't earn a living. Raising children is damn difficult unless you have a nanny. Or two. And what kind of kid can you raise now, thanks to the Internet? Some cynical self-centered monster.

Old age IS a bummer, man. What happens when the demographic gets older? More contempt and impatience, that's all. Why would a 30-something Latino give a shit about some 80 year-old Jew? Is it a big surprise that there have been "avenging angels" in nursing homes, killing off the elderly? That if an elderly person manages to survive and live in a changing neighborhood, that person gets robbed, even raped, and maybe even murdered? People can hardly stand old people of their own kind.

The Chinese have always venerated aged people, and respected their wisdom. BUT...it wouldn't be a surprise if the leaders put into law a certain amount of euthanasia. Asian euthanasia. "Old person with no living relatives...will be made to stop living. So sorry."

How strange that when overpopulation is a very serious problem, especially with pollution, urban sprawl, and not enough land for farming and not enough decent oceans for fish...the big concern in China is makin' babies. Hell, they're taking this almost as seriously as makin' sneakers and Apple computers.

Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan wants to fuck Lindsay Logan

Hey, Turkey face, what the FUCK are you doing? TAKING A BREAK? To do what, be a Huelbig and have a photo op with a D-list has-been?

Turkey? Another country of corrupt psychos.

You never know what's going on with those taffy-heads. They're another country that's friendly one minute, and crazed the next. They can be totally corrupt, and then suddenly decide to be helpful. For a bribe.

You can list all the Middle East cunt-ries that claim to be our "allies," and see, throughout history, how often they've been a bunch of betraying violent savages. You can see how they blow whichever way the money is flying. If Putin sprinkles bills from a passing plane, they're for Russia. If America tosses enough money, the big brown noses go running from facing Mecca to facing the USA.

Who the FUCK can keep track of how often Turkey has looked the other way, or another way, while letting terrorists use the country as a pay toilet. How often have THEY provoked war?

Really, who the hell, and it IS hell, can keep track of whether the Sunnis or the Sikhs or the Kurds or the Whey are on our side or not?

At the moment, obviously, Turkey's Erdogan (wasn't he once the head of Atlantic Records?) is the beacon of Democratic Progressive thinking. After all, he's hanging around with an adorable Syrian, one of the ones who doesn't have a gun.

AND...AND...he's standing next to the infamous "hot mess" and "trainwreck" herself, Lindsay "Drugs and Alcohol" Lohan, who is America's foremost symbol of...peace? This bitch was last seen screaming and yelling at her boyfriend in a hotel room. She had nothing better to do than feud with bald-crotch Paris Hilton. She posed naked so often even the Kardashians were screaming "ENOUGH ALREADY."

What's the deal, Turkey-face, you couldn't score with Jolie? Lohan is a very distant second. Third. NOWHERE. She's like Pluto. Not even a planet anymore.

Yoko, you are so right.

WHAT A BASTARD THE WORLD IS.

It's full of corrupt shameless politicians/whores.

Fuck Le French Pussy and Das German Asshole

Know what? Paraphrasing Randy Newman lyrics, Trump "may be a fool, but he's OUR fool, and if they think they're better than him, THEY'RE WRONG."

Who's wrong? That ridiculous French pussy HOLLANDE, and the dumb German asshole MERKEL.

Hollande? Doesn't that dumb baguette remember what happened in a French nightclub? Muzzies came in and slaughtered everyone with machine guns.

Turd-face Merkel? She STILL doesn't care that German culture and heritage (which was well known and appreciated before Hitler) is being sabotaged by arrogant ingrate pricks who won't speak the language, walk around cloaked, and have gone into stores and murdered everyone?

The pee-ewww EU has done nothing except let psycho Muzzies walk all over them. What do they bring? Their crazed religious fanaticism, and their sense of entitlement. They dictate what the home country should give them FREE, how the home country should behave (NO CARTOONS OF THE GREAT MOHAMMAD OR YOU DIE) and want to bring everyone back to the stone age of stoning homosexuals and hypocritically keeping women cloaked when they aren't being abused and beaten and raped.

Yeah, sure, there are "thousands upon thousands" of lovely immigrants. Tell that to the families who have loved ones shot to pieces. Tell that to others who live in perpetual fear of another 9/11 catastrophe caused by selfish stupid backward jackasses.

You know, America has been known as the kindly country with the twat in the harbor: "Bring us your garbage...bring us your dirty, filthy, stupid immigrant dross..."

What's it gotten America? Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. Kruschev said "We'll bury you." Countries that slopped up all the millions and millions in foreign aid turned around and said "FUCK OFF." You know that deal: "give the corrupt leaders MONEY, and drop bags of rice for the poor, but if you come in here trying to vaccinate or educate our monkeys, we'll KILL every unarmed sap who comes near us."

Maybe it IS time for America to be feared. It's worked for Putin, hasn't it? Nobody fucks with the sleepy giant bear, Red China, do they? Yet idiots are more than willing to burn the American flag, and the worst cretins are more than happy to muscle their way through airports with a surly bottom lip jutting out, declaring they expect welfare and housing. They come crawling up from Central and South America and Mexico. "Americans, you obese Honey Boo-Boo breeders and Kardashians, you owe US a living!"

So now there's red-faced hooligan Trump, Tweeting like a 6 year-old, insulting anyone and everyone, screaming "Liar liar" at people telling the truth, and...yeah...saying "We don't need more immigrants in this country." Which IS a fair and accurate statement, when you consider how many blacks and Latinos are on welfare and rioting because they have nothing better to do. Put THEM to work, before you create more colonies of Syrians or Somali lunatics.

How's French and German tourism these days? Who the FUCK wants to go to those countries when you could be blown up at the airport or shot down in a shop while buying a pastry? WHO the FUCK wants to walk around Paris expecting to see guys like Gainsbourg and women like Bardot, and instead nothing but angry Muslim faces?

Europe is crap. The EU is crap. All they've got is tourism and culture and they're fucking it up for what? For the dregs of the Syrian gutter? Sapristi, Hollande. Merde, Merkel.

The Hurt Locker

Well, well, the EBAY sellers have gone to their file cabinets and are tossing all those John Hurt autographed photos that weren't selling.

NOW they are.

AND...the EBAY MAGGOTS are chomping at the bit, offering their utterly worthless "JOHN HURT, autographed photo RP!" items. RP for REPRINT.

Technically eBay has a rule against selling reprints, but, heh heh, it's up to the intellectual property rights owner to file a complaint. And John Hurt isn't about to do that.

The Big Hurt

It was a sad surprise to hear of John Hurt's demise.

His list of credits is voluminous, and the Huelbig assholes of the world probably only know that he was in "Alien" and some Harry Potter movies.

I first saw him in "The Naked Civil Servant," which was a remarkable film and a risky gamble. He was fortunately not typed as gay. He survived being molested by a school headmaster, and by living in Grimsby for a while, but straightened out and was married four times.

Another important early role for him was as Tim Evans in the creepy "10 Rillington Place," with Attenborough as Christie. Playing someone victimized or vulnerable seemed Hurt's lot in those years, culminating in "The Elephant Man," which got him an Oscar nomination and enough fame to choose any roles he wanted.

He did take to the stage now and then, breathing new life into the avant garde classic "Krapp's Last Tape."

He's no longer breathing and it was sad to see another kind of hurt at the end of the obit I saw in the Guardian:

Yes, the begging bowl extends to famous websites as well as idiot blogs. Indeed, when I saw the news about John Hurt, there will literally a dozen different websites I could've chosen to get the full story, FREE. These included not just reputable websites such as the Guardian, but all those parasite websites like Huffity-Puffity and Decider and Newser which re-write everything and add a byline.

Mary Tyler Moore, Mike Connors (well, for American audiences...he might not be well known internationally), Barbara Hale (beloved as Della Street on "Perry Mason" and now John Hurt. And the hurts will keep on coming.

Awwwwww-tism

Say, there's a GOOD reason why this blog has a WARNING on it.

It has objectionable material.

Like THIS post.

This is another post in which I say: What the FUCK are you assholes thinking? You think that a person with AUTISM is just like anyone else?

You can't have it both ways. You either understand that NOT EVERYONE WITH AUTISM is "just like everybody else" or you ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES.

DEATH.

Death for a few dozen innocent children in Connecticut because an Autistic monster gunned them all down with Mommy's assault rifle.

Death for THIS unfortunate kid. Que lastima. Que fuckin' lastima.

Time for the parents to SUE THE SCHOOL!

Si! SUE THS SCHOOL, after crying on GOFUNDME for money to squeeze the water out of him and bury him.

JESUS.

That's pronounced HAY-SOOOOOOOOOOS.

This kid would be alive if his parents and the rest of the coddling kooks were willing to fess up and admit: THIS IS NOT A NORMAL KID.

A "special needs" kid has SPECIAL NEEDS. You have to watch him.

Did this kid attend regular classes? Was he told he was just like everyone else? Were his teachers told they shouldn't be condescending, or worry when he gave a blank look to them?

Obviously, thanks to the shitty state of reporting (how many reporters can any newspaper or website hire), we don't know for sure what the fuck was going on. But it seems like this kid didn't have the emotions or the sense of reason to know that going off into a pool by himself was dangerous.

We know that Adam Lanza, the kid who killed his schoolmates in Connecticut, was treated like everybody else, and his shitty mother didn't think he was a threat, so she let him play with guns. His father had already said "Enough," and moved out.

It's important that SOME "special needs" kids be allowed to mix with everyone else, usually under supervision. It's also important that kids who are merely "handicapped," like missing a foot or having a stutter or whatever, be treated like everyone else, so that they aren't inhibited, and their idiot classmates learn that NOBODY's perfect.

But it's also important to know when a kid is at risk, and this kid obviously was. Who failed him? Was it the parents in denial? Was it the school system with no budget to monitor every "special needs" kid who might wander off? And was this kid even IN a "special needs" classroom or did his parents insist he was just like everybody else?

The victim is the kid. The cause: not autism, but stupidity.

Johnny Dork - The End of a Perfect Day

No matter how lousy your day has been, be thankful...IT COULD get LOUSIER. You could accidentally see Johnny Dork's latest GOOTUBE video.

Bug-eyed bouffanted bozo Johnny Dork enthusiastically rends the air EVERY DAY with a new caca-smella rendition of a mouldy oldie.

How this spindly skeleton even KNOWS who Matt Monro is, I have no idea. Sure, Johnny would suck Sinatra's cock if he was asked, but Matt was one of the least of the Frank-furters, and aside from his James Bond song, UNKNOWN in America. Let's add, UNWANTED.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, one of the stupidest love songs of all time is "Real Live Girl," which first soiled the air via Sid Caesar in the forgettable musical "Little Me."

That was back in 1963. Various lame-brains tried to score a Top 100 hit with it, but the only one who even got close was lame-ass Steve Alaimo. That was in 1965. I think he reached #90 on the charts. The song was NEVER a hit in America.

Among the other All-American cheese-faces who tried to sing this thing without pissing their pants; Jack Jones and Robert Ghoul Lay.

The ONLY version I actually remember hearing and liking, was by Jonathan Winters! Yes, on one of his specials, circa 1965, he played a mad scientist who tinkers together the perfect woman. That woman was played by a certain six-footer known for having played a robot. This was before she degenerated into being a wide-eyed fag hag astounded by every talentless cocksucker on the planet. While she simply stared (she really was good at that) Winters serenaded her. And I'm sure if Jonny had his way, that scene would've been x-rated.

But I digress.

Matt was always crap. He brought NOTHING to any song he sang. He only tested the toleration level of anyone having to listen to him. As in: "When is this song going to be OVER so I can see the fucking James Bond movie?"

Who the FUCK wanted to hear him sing "From Russia with Love?" How did he get hired?? His voice was so fucking ordinary.

Christ, if you couldn't get Sinatra, there was Tony Bennett. There was even Steve Lawrence or Bobby Darin or others who had some sort of personality or sense of humor or SENSE.

The only song of Matt's that I've heard more than "Russia" is the rather corny theme from "Hoffman." He was, again, the shittiest of choices. Sellers should've sung the fucking thing himself. It would've made more sense.

But, to say something nice about Matt, he wasn't nearly as annoying as bug-eyed Johnny, convinced that he's magic, and that HIS voice, without ANY musical background, is pure GOLD. Yeah. Pure Yellow, you Piss gurgler.

Heckling the News

Donald Doom

No, no, this will NOT be the place for constant posts about President Rump.

BUT...it was amusing, in a Barry McGuire way, to see that scientists have symbolically moved the DOOMSDAY CLOCK in his honor.

The article goes on to blame President Rump:

"The Bulletin pointed to President Donald Trump's careless rhetoric on nuclear weapons and other issues as well as his troubling stance on climate change.

“Current political situation in the U.S. is of particular concern,” Titley of the Bulletin Science and Security Board said. “The Trump administration needs to state clearly, unequivocally it accepts climate change caused by human activity…There are no alternative facts here.”

Last year, the clock remained at three minutes from midnight. It was moved to three minutes in 2015 from its place at five minutes to midnight."

Hey, they quoted a guy named TITLEY. Was he just milking his big moment?

But let's get cirius, if not cumulus, on this dark and cloudy day. No, cirrusly...

We all know that once THE BOMB was dropped on Japan, it was pretty much SAYONARA for the planet. The only surprise is that YOU are reading this and I'M writing it. Many figured we'd never see the 21st Century at all. There was "Dr. Strangelove" and "Fail Safe" and kiddies ordered under the desk for a "drill," and being told where the bomb shelters were.

There was even Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space," with a line about how "stupid" Earthlings had learned to explode the very air they breathe.

President Rump should pat himself on the back for being considered more frightening than Kruschev, more deviant than Nixon, more obnoxious than his pal Putin, and certainly a far more lethal clown than the North Korea guy. And we know that ISIS and BOKO HARUM have no nuclear weapons yet, and for some reason we think it's ok that some urine-colored maniacs in the Middle East do. Or the Far East. Hello, India and Pakistan.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, for all his insane and obnoxious rhetoric, Donnie is not likely to hit the button. He is well aware that if he does, Russia will hit THEIR button, too. He'd like his obnoxious brat son Barron to grow up and have a crack at two or three borscht-mouthed Serbo-Croatian trophy wives.

As for climate change, most experts insist the tides won't rise a foot or two for at least a generation or two, and just because every year has gotten WARMER...Jeez, there are some pretty chilly days every winter, which makes people nuzzle into their FUR COATS and convince themselves that the planet is ok, and maybe just going through a "phase." The polar ice that has melted will freeze up again, right?

All Donnie's doing is antagonizing spics (the President of Mexico), sulky Muzzies who merely have automatic weapons and bombs stowed in crockpots, and the Chinks, who can't even see their slanty selves thanks to the thick clouds of pollution there. None of 'em are capable of blowing up the world just because Donnie calls them names. And he doesn't, actually. He still refers to "Mexicans" and not wetbacks or spics. He's really a sensitive guy. Compared to THIS blogger! (Sorry to any Spics, Fags, Niggas, Niggers, Kikes...or anyone else who might report the blog for being offensive. But actually, I'm not sorry at all. Fuck you, and your mother. The one who sells her soiled undies on eBay.)

Maybe the Doomsday Clock should be symbolically moved back...to the Stone Age.

Fat, Ugly, Smelly and Illiterate

People know how to masturbate. They just don't know how to spell it.

Some people are fat, ugly and smelly. They just don't believe it.

We know, from a certain Matthias Gruesome Lange, and Bill Hoobastank Hell-Big, Barren Cock, and Amy Watson-Fatone, among others, that some fat ugly and smelly people have no shame. They not only have no plans to diet, they actually think they're photogenic. People should look at their pictures and their GooTube videos.

While the young Charles Laughton and the old Orson Welles proved that looks and a svelte body aren't everything, they had TALENT. As one usually does, it's easy to forget somebody's unfortunate failings if they have other attributes that make up for it.

But what the FUCK is with the arrogance of people who HAVE no other attributes? They're just pushy AND repulsive.

Just as Lange's ego and extroverted insanity motivate him to be pushy and annoying, the above MONSTER figures she shouldn't hide. Well, no, she's so fucking FAT she can't even hide in her own home. Half of her blubber is leaking out through the windows.

It seems there are sad, sad fetishists who have a crush on obese women. (That was a straight line; you know what the punchline is.)

The weird thing here, is that somebody would want to SMELL a fat broad's underwear.

All cats (and women) are fair in the dark. So what IS the big deal here? That if you buy a fat woman's underwear you get more fabric? There's more leakage into it? That instead of a twat that looks like half a slice of apricot, you can imagine something more the size of a watermelon slice? THAT is a fallacy.

The size of a fat woman's twat is no bigger or smaller than any other woman's twat.

A fat woman's used underwear MIGHT be smellier, since she'll have a tougher time reaching down there with a sponge. Even a janitor with a slop bucket and a mop would have trouble getting past those gigantic thighs.

When you're OBESE, you're not alone. You are accompanied by enough fat to create a second person.

The Fatso above is far from the only grotesque that EBAY happily allows on the site.

Here's the one who can't even spell masturbate.

Why tell more fat jokes? SHE is a FAT JOKE.

Support the Artist? What?

As we know from Basket Case and some others who haunt Kickstarter, or constantly Tweet about how fantastic they are, "artists" feel they should be SUPPORTED.

The donation. The tip jar. Buy the merch. Wear the t-shirt.

Everybody has a touch of a paternal/maternal feeling. They see some young (ok, she's not THAT young anymore) talent and have the need to nurture with compliments and cash. Like, "That's my kid..."

If it isn't a paternal/maternal feeling, it's outright lust: "I'd love to FUCK that singer. But since I can't, at least I can buy the CD."

Then there's the charity smirk. A lot of people donate on Kickstarter or buy a CD or go to a show to "support" the artist...because it makes THEM feel like big shots. Right: "Heh, I have a boring job but at least I'm not THIS pathetic artist begging for "support." OK, I'll throw some bucks down, I can afford it. It makes me feel good to be charitable to somebody who NEEDS me."

But after a while, the question does become, HOW much do you give, HOW many of these obscure people do you want to support, HOW many do you faithfully follow on FARCEBOOK and TWATTER, and WHAT the fuck are you doing this for and WHY?

What?

Does this even make sense?

First off these are cover versions and if you like Dusty, you know NOBODY did it better. So why bother?

Second, the small print indicates that our HEROINE went down to Muscle Shoals (did she do this via a Kickstarter campaign or her own dime) and apparently made an album.

Here are two tracks.

WHAT?

A CD single, plus one? TWO tracks, only? Aren't they going to be on the FULL ALBUM? You didn't go all the way down South to cut TWO tracks.

How much is a CD single? A buck, like any other single? Two?

OK, this one is ONLY FIVE BUCKS.

The instinct is "sure, I'll support you," for whatever reason, paternal, lustful, or because you have a fiverrrrr to spare.

Besides, it's AUTOGRAPHED.

That leads you to click the ordering link, and discover it ain't a fiverrr at all.

Let's DOUBLE that price.

Ah, shipping and tax. Sad but true, inflation always comes to the fucking POST OFFICE first. In fact, they raised their rates last week.

To mail a mere CD, which is about four ounces, they expect you to pay about $3.50. Maybe you get delivery confirmation with that, maybe not.

Don't forget, a bubble-wrap mailer is another 25 cents at least, if you buy in bulk. More if you just buy a few at the stationery store.

So, $5 shipping and handing is NOT unreasonable, except...THIS IS A 2 SONG CD! The inference is that you will eventually be buying the FULL CD when it comes out.

Oh well. Artists do what they can, and a number of people do "Support the Artist" no matter what. But sometimes you do ask...WHAT??

When Sonny gets Blue...it's not because of a Royalty Check

Oh, that lucky Sonny Curtis.

You see, he wrote "The Mary Tyler Moore" theme.

Since it involves use on a TV show, and how many times it's re-run, the song is immune from piracy.

Sonny only wrote one other song anybody's ever heard of, "I Fought the Law." You can bet he doesn't get THAT much of a royalty check off that one, especially since there aren't many radio stations anymore, and GooTube and Spotty Pie pay mere pennies for every THOUSAND hits.

If someone doesn't want to discuss royalties, you can bet it either is because the amount is embarrassingly small, or, heh heh, embarrassingly BIG. As in, "Don't come around asking me for donations, or loans..."

There was a brief "golden era" for songwriters, I think. It was maybe 15 years, from 1963 to 1978. Radio stations were big. Payola had been outlawed (at least, blatant payola). Cigar-chomping publishers no longer pushed newcomers around with "OK, here's $50, sign away all rights" or "Sign this; I get 50% of the publishing" or "The singer wants a co-write, give it to him or you'll never work in this business."

Yes, having learned from all the horror stories, which included discovering that the authors (and even performers) of hit songs were driving cabs or pushing brooms and not getting royalties at all, songwriters were able to avoid the outrageous victimization of the early days.

I recall hearing about some guy who wrote a mild (maybe Top 10 or Top 20, definitely not #1) hit, and he was able to buy a house with the profits. Each year there might be enough to pay for repairs to that house!

But into the 80's the songwriting market was fucked, because so many singers wrote their own songs, and a few creepy singers revived the old tactic of buying a song outright.

Guys like Sonny Curtis were fortunate, in that a lot of C&W guys, as well as early rockers, couldn't write a song at all...and that there was still something called a "TV theme." Today, not so much, right? But in the 60's and even into the 70's, there were tons of shows with a song for a TV theme.

Can you name a catchy TV theme song on a show that's been on the air in the past 20 years? I sure can't. How many even have lyrics?

You might say Sonny was "born at the right time." He's now 79. Mary died at 80.

Squinty Matthias wants to masturbate Slanty Jeff

What a big fat jerk-off our Mutt named Lange is.

He buys one of the maybe 200 different fucking photo books on New York City that you could find in Barnes & Noble (yes, they still exist). The putz could just surf the Net and see zillions of static photos of the fabulous buildings and bridges. But he needs MORE CLUTTER because he's such a greedy stupid pig.

The hundreds of books on New York City that you could find in Barnes & Noble include big coffee table BARGAINS. There's no shortage of remaindered photo books, and most of them ARE remaindered after a year or two.

So why did this idiot lug THIS particular book all the way back to Merkelville, and then wait to open the shrinkwrap ON camera?

The gimmick of this book by Jeff Chow Fon is that he used a wide lens to take "panorama" pictures.

Which does tend to lose something when most pages have TWO to a page. That's like watching a Cinerama movie in letterbox format on a cellphone.

OOF. As for the full size pix, there IS a problem.

As we ALL know there is something basically FUCKED UP about what is technically called the "double truck" page. That's where one photo is splashed over TWO sheets of paper. The middle crease means that the middle of the photo is distorted. You have to crack the fucking binding of the book in order to really see it as it was photographed.

I don't know why daft art directors INSIST on doing this in so many books. It's annoying.

It's even annoying in a magazine, where you can usually lay the pictures a lot flatter. It's still not flattering. There's still a distraction caused by the pages not lying flat. Just think about the Playboy centerfolds, where a hot woman had creases here and here. In addition to the one THERE.

Meanwhile this stuffed cabbage, who barely can ooze any words out of his swollen gullet, offers up his tedious commentary as he flips through the pages while his blurry fish-eye camcorder takes it all in.

Usually Amazon and other sites give you the chance to "look inside" most every book, so WHY go to GOOTUBE and hunt for somebody's photo book to see if it's worth buying? PS, you can go to a fucking bookstore and browse for yourself. PPS, this one is NOT worth buying. The rice-dick who snapped the pictures did nothing special. There's no big trick to owning an expensive camera that does all the work, and snapping shots of BUILDINGS THAT DON'T MOVE. The angles, the angle of sunlight, NONE of it is inspired.

Lange sits this book in his lap, and probably started getting an erection. He had to stop the camera so he could finish rubbing the book against his little schvantz. The only thing that gets him harder are those concentration camp photos of naked, skeletal Jews (male or female).

Go to the bookstore (there are still a few) and thumb through any books of architecture, or guides to various cities. They all look the same. They're all boring. You do better snapping pictures yourself as a tourist. If you didn't visit these places, why get something that will warp and bend your bookshelf? Look at 'em online, on your giant computer screen. That's good enough.

How many photo books, other than nudes, really grab your attention page after page? There are maybe a few good compilations of "once in a lifetime" action shots, historical shots, or even funny shots (there's a book collection all the novelty photos that appeared on the back page of LIFE, one oddball shot a week, year after year).

As for individual photographers, forget about Jeff Chow Fon. He and other cheap-shots who go around taking "composed" pictures of buildings or shrubbery are all dullards.

You can even get bored with Diane Arbus and her scowling freaks. As great as Karsh was, you have to admit that he was a one-trick pony. All he did was aim his camera FULL-FACE at famous people, and capture every fuckin' wrinkle. Avedon was a one-trick pony, too. Look, if you spend a half hour or an hour or MORE talking to somebody while they sit in a fucking chair, and snap away several rolls of film, ONE shot is gonna turn out "genius." That doesn't mean YOU are a genius.

As annoying as the cunt is who took the infamous John Lennon as naked monkey shot for Rolling Stone, at least she didn't just do a standard portrait. She did something that actually captured the dynamic of that relationship. SHE is a photographer. An overrated cunt, but yes, a very good photographer just the same. She benefitted from already having the famous name of the magazine behind her. Your subject is going to be a LOT more cooperative knowing you're shooting a cover. You say you want something special, and you want half a day, or a WHOLE day to get to know the subject, pick out wardrobe, etc. etc. and knock around ideas...and you just might get something memorable. Or weird. Nothing in that Jeff Chow Fon book is remotely memorable or unique.

A real genius was a guy like Weegee, who rushed to the squalid, disgusting scene of a crime, had only a few minutes before the jumper jumped, the fire got too hot, or the coroner hauled the body off the sidewalk. He managed to not only get a good clear shot (with maybe only ONE click, or at best, a few) the picture was often artistic, and the palette of black, white and gray astonishing.

He didn't have the luxury of Photoshop, and usually only had a few hours in the darkroom before he had to turn over the photo to the newspaper or magazine. Yes, a darkroom...cramped, eerie, and stinking of chemicals. In those days, it was REALLY dark, too. By the 70's, you could work in a darkroom where you could actually see pretty well, using an orange light. In Weegee's day, it was vital to keep things as dark as possible, from taking the film out of the camera and putting it in the developer, to sliding the negative and creating a print.

But is Matthias Shit-for-Brains Lange showing off an interesting photo book? Of course not.

He's 300 pounds of sauerkraut stuffed into a sheep bladder condom, with hair and glasses added, and he's more impressed with some hack's "panorama" shots of buildings in a city he hopefully will NEVER visit again.

But let's have an expert opinion.

"What a pile of shit," says Cilla Blackledge.

She was referring to the book of photos AND to Herr Lange.

Mexicans and Muzzies can Kiss Rump - President's Rump

Yes, taking some time off from stocking his cabinet with hacks, psychos, relatives, villains, and arch-conservatives that would make the Ayatollah look like a moderate, President Rump has begun kicking Mexican and Muslim ass.

He insists the famous WALL will go under construction "within months." AND...

...he's writing a big FUCK and OFF to all the immigrants who want to come here and machine-gun fags, blow up medical clinics, and toss bombs into parades.

Yes, it's a shame that some needy people will be denied asylum, but hell, Rump is busy seeing how many needy Americans he can make sure are denied health care, and die.

He has to make sure his fat cat pals can build oil pipelines that will leak all over the place and help pollute the air.

He has to try and over-populate the country with more redneck losers by making it difficult to get an abortion anywhere, and most certainly get one without paying a fortune for it.

The inconvenient truth is that both the Libtards and the Rednecks are idiots, and there are very few politicians who take the best from both sides and create a happy medium. That's how we get the psycho logic of conservatives demanding the death penalty, but mewling that every sperm is sacred. Or, let's be cheap and pay cash under the table for illegals to be nannies and gardeners, but, heh heh, officially let's ban anyone "of color" from entering the country. Or...let's deny gay rights and refuse to let some transgender ugly dickless idiot use the ladies room while being a conservative politician who haunts toilets for gay sex when wifey is out of town.

Building a wall? Rump still hasn't explained how the Mexicans will pay for it. Does he mean that they'll pay for it because he's scuttling NAFTA and he's taking business out of Mexico and putting a high tariff on Mexican imports?

And how will this wall work? Will it be impervious to dynamite? Will it cover the ENTIRE border including rivers and lakes and mountainous terrain? And won't Mexicans still be cramming themselves into vans and trucks and sneaking right through the gates because bored boarder patrol assholes figure, "Yeah, truckload of pigs in those crates, going to be slaughtered for pork for Beverly Hills housewives..."

Hooray! The Oscars have COLOR.

What GREAT news. THREE BLACK WOMEN and only TWO WHITE WOMEN are up for "Best Supporting Role" at the Oscars.

We all hope the RACISTS out there don't let one of the WHITE WOMEN win.

What if the BLACK WOMEN all split the vote and a WHITE WOMAN wins? Can we riot about that? Break a few windows and steal some TV sets?

No, no, y'all, REVERSE RACISM is cool.

It's ok to root against the WHITE people. They are the majority, but it would be a fucking crime if 3 of the 5 candidates were WHITE. Or, Christ (he was black-skinned you know), if 4 out of the 5 candidates were WHITE..

Do you believe this shit? The media is cheering because of ETHNICITY and not talent? A certain ETHNICITY of course. You have NEVER seen a headline saying, "At least two Jews have been nominated in Best Actor or Actress categories this year!" Why is that? There aren't that many Jewish leading men or women? Shouldn't we complain about that? Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep always win and they aren't Jewish. What a crime.

While it's true that most of today's shitty movies are still aimed at white nerds (all those idiot comic book hero movies) more and more whites are refusing to go to noisy, raucous movie houses, so blaxploitation films are once again becoming popular. Who can STAND going to a movie theater these days except blacks who scream at the screen and can't get enough tubs of junk food to eat?

Then there are the White Liberals who run HBO and Netflix, and who are more than willing to support black dramas that nobody wants to see, even blacks.

Huh? "Fences?" If it doesn't have Tyler Perry dressed up in drag, yo, or a soundtrack of rap songs by BEYONSAYYYYYYY, I ain't goin', yo!"

That's the reaction of blacks. They might've rioted if "Fences" didn't get a lot of nominations, but that's not the same as actually wanting to sit the ass in a chair and watch a movie that doesn't have violence and TITTIES.

But curious and sensitive white people will stream it on Netflix, at least.

Oh, and "La La Land" got the most nominations, because pandering to GAYS is ALWAYS good.

And a big loud cheer for antisemitic lunatic and woman-hater Mel Gibson, on his deserved "Comeback." This guy never apologized for his father being an out-and-out racist bastard or for his own nasty comments about Jews. How fortunate that aside from Harvey Weinstein, there are almost no Jewish producers or film moguls anymore, and most film studios are owned by Asians. So welcome back, Mel, with a fucking WAR MOVIE that panders to the redneck fetish for blood.

No, I have not seen any of this year's nominated shit, except the fairly lame movie about Roberto Duran that starred Robert DeNiro as Duran's manager. That movie was mostly concerned with how much people in Panama hate white people. And how important it was for Duran to beat Sugar Ray Leonard for being a cheerful black guy. (Also an ugly black guy, since the movie couldn't find someone who actually LOOKED like Ray).

I did download "Fences" but when I'll get around to it, I have no idea. I suppose I'll have to download "La La Land" just to see how ridiculous it is. HOW ridiculous? Even "Saturday Night Live" made fun of people who liked it. Somebody who actually saw that "Manchester" movie said it was crap. "Who cares about those people?" Indeed. Look at the jerks we have for movie "stars" these days. WHO gives a damn about them, black or white?

Aw, Shauna, Your Pimp's Being Untrue...

Dang. After just posting and boasting about how she got a FIVERRR for that eye-checkup ad, look at THIS:

Yes, it's a sponsored ad from her pimps, FIVERRRRRRR.

ON FARCEBOOK!!!

The cheap fucks of FIVERRRRR are NOT content to have an amateur pipsqueak pop-tart from Dublin promoting herself. They are telling the world there are PLENTY of cheap bints around, and that any bint who wants to join FIVERRRRR and compete with Shauna, should DO IT.

Oh, woe is Shauna! They didn't use HER coy, oh-so-blonde picture for their promotion!

Good Lord, HOW many happy-faced bints are on FIVERRRRRR these days, and how many many more after this FARCEBOOK campaign ends?

FIVERRR spent a lot of FIVERRRRS for this FARCEBOOK ad. They want MORE and MORE and MORE little snots, bitches, scabs and underhanded weasels to join up and undercut the already low wage of LEGIT freelancers.

Is there anything worse than a world of idiots willing to do shit for a FIVERRRR?

(Well, if you really want to take a look at your Spotify royalty statement...)

A Commercial Message from Shauna

HEY GUYYYYYSSSS, my CAREER is really taking off!

I got at least 42 hits on GooTube with my latest Tayor Swift cover! I also make a FIVERRRR at least once a week. By God how the money rolls in!

I will sing a song, speak a voiceover, take a photo, or be a spokesmodel. It's up to YOU, GUYYYYYSSS!

I just got a FIVERRRR for being a model for the U.K. Optical Board.

If you want me to pose for you, sing, do your answering machine message, take a photo, anything CREATIVE, I will do it for a FIVERRRR!

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Hugs! Kisses! Little wave of my teeny-tiny pink hand! Byeeeeeeeeee!

The Tit Show on Farcebook

Oh, joy to the world.

The Gestapo at Farcebook backed off on tattooed tits.

It's a small victory for feminists.

Nice to know that women who are getting breast cancer from chemicals in the food or from toxic air (in some cities, breathing the air is equivalent to smoking 2 packs of ciggies a day) can decorate their nipple-less bumps.

When it comes to nudity, Suckerberg's website IS very prudish. At most any other website (including our beloved Blogspot), the attitude is "We're JUST A VENUE and WE MAKE NO JUDGMENTS."

If you've ever tried to red flag something on Farcebook, Twatter, eBay or Blogspot, you know what a fucking set of hoops you must go through just to FIND where you can send a report.

Usually the maze of ticking lists and pulling down menus takes a long time before you get to YOUR complaint. Like: page has porn, or page has spam, or user is being racist. And that leads...to a dead end. You can't go further.

You get a notice: "Your complaint can't be processed. We suggest you not look at that page. If you believe there is a SERIOUS violation, contact law enforcement and THEY will contact us for appropriate action." FUCK and OFF.

O'Bummer Gives Palesteeeeenians a Fortune before he's Rumped

Oh yeah, let's not forget that O'Bummer wasn't perfect.

He proved it in his last days in office. He sat on his ass and didn't get a replacement for a long-dead Supreme Court judge (which could save abortions in America from Donald Rump's asshole conservativsm). Nope. But he DID commute the sentence for traitor Chelsea Wo-manning, and he DID make sure to send over 200 MILLION BUCKS to a bunch of psycho monkeys who worship terrorism.

Yes, the Palesteeeeeeenians, who happily harbor terrorist organizations.

As Desi Arnaz used to say, "'Splain dat, Luceeee."

Explain why it was so fucking important to give the Palesteeeeeenians 200 MILLION for their war against Israel and their terrorism and their shit-faced politics, and only a fraction of that, 6 MILLION to climate change programs.

Meanwhile, President Rump is happily destroying the planet by denying climate change, and aside from being pro-Israel, is doing just about everything possible to destroy America and the planet.

Every fucking day he appoints more and more blatant bastards to high office. The list is endless. The head of the ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY is a conservative prick who sued the EPA over and over and wants it put out of business. Now, it'll become an empty shell sucking tax-payer money and doing nothing.

The Secretary of State? An Exxon executive fat cat. And on and on.

Without a whimper from the toothless Democrats, who lost control of the Senate, President Rump is gutting the health care programs, tossing poor people off benefits, and signing legislation that could make abortion almost impossible. Ask a woman who has had an abortion — it wasn't pleasant. Next time she might go on the pill, or insist her 20 or 30 sex partners use condoms. The uncomfortable truth is there are too many idiots on the planet as it is, and they are polluting everything, consuming the resources, cutting down the forests, and destroying the planet. We need LESS PEOPLE.

Oh yes, President Rump will make it much easier to get guns.

What happens the next time some WHITE jackass blows away 20 children in a school? I bet The Donald will keep his mouth shut and keep his orange face hidden for a few days. Screaming about "Crooked Hillary" or "Alec Baldwin, NOT FUNNY" is one thing. Explaining to the world why it's easy for any psycho to get a gun...suddenly that mouth closes like a clam shell.

As to President Rump's loudmouth boasts of building a wall and making Mexico pay for it? Not a peep. Or keeping the Muzzies from flooding into America? Not a peep. Or deporting any useless immigrant pricks the way even Italy does? Not a peep. He pandered to the stupidest of blacks by insisting he CARED about the violence in Chicago. Any allocation of more cops or more money to fight the crime there? NOT A PEEP.

And so it is, that the stupidest people in America (from Kentucky to Florida and back) are now swaggering around shooting off their guns, openly calling blacks "gorillas" and "apes," and becoming more and more obese and wasteful because the President thinks climate change is a hoax and a healthy diet is ridiculous.

What do you suppose his trophy wife-whore is going to do as First Lady? Promote health eating as the last First Lady did? Or just mince around looking like the Eurotrash bitch she is?

Meanwhile even the great "Saturday Night Live," is caving. SNL was where Alec Baldwin launched a completely distorted mimicry of Rump (Rump's mouth does not look like a gaping pig's vagina). Yet now, SNL suspended one of their writers for TWEETING. She's not allowed to speak her mind on her own fucking TWATTER account? Not when she dared to suggest that Rump's third obnoxious son, bratty little Barron, might become a "homeschooled shooter."

No free speech in Amerika these days. Just RUMP bellowing his bellicose bullshit and signing laws that might bring back the Salem witch trials.

That's just DUCKY

Never underestimate the stupidity of EBAY sellers.

Any crap they have lying around the house, they figure a sucker will buy. Like records "with a few minor scratches" and clothing "with a few light stains."

How about THIS?

What a fucking moron.

"Unfortunately this duck is damaged." No kidding.

"He is dried out and hardened. Therefore, he no longer squeaks."

People who collect this kind of thing (and there aren't many) want a squeak toy to SQUEAK. If the rubber is hardened, it's useless. If the fucking thing is in two pieces, it's completely useless. I mean, COMPLETELY; Yoko Ono wouldn't even claim it's "art."

"He is also broken in two pieces at the neck. It is unfortunate because the colors are still pretty nice. There is some scuffing, a tiny nick out of one of his feet, some cracks, and some tiny melt marks. Again - this is being sold AS IS."

Right, "AS IS." What else could it be sold as? "Before I send it to you, I will glue the head on, and rub magic softener into it."

Christ, if the moron brought this to a CHARITY SHOP, they'd throw it at him, and tell him to DUCK.

Creative Writing, Canada-Style

OH...CAN...A...DA...

Your women REALLY STINK.

This twat is Canada's version of E.L. James. Stupid, coarse, fat, ugly and SMELLIER THAN A DEAD TUNA IN A STOPPED UP TOILET.

The Grimsby Blues Brothers

It's the same the whole world over.

It's a shame, a wretched shame...

That idiots go to "Tribute Shows."

I wonder whose to blame!

Sad but true, from the biggest city in America to the suburban areas of England, and beyond, lame "tribute" shows are being staged. From dead people like Elvis and Michael Jackson to brain-dead people like Adele, "fans" are drawn to this shit.

You wonder, in the tangled web of legalities, if the owners of the "Blues Brothers" trademark can sue some tribute idiots, or demand a share of the profits. Or, are the owners too rich to care? "Eh, let 'em wear the dopey sunglasses and jacket, it'll only make some people buy one of the old DVDs."

The Grimsby Blues Brothers are a pair of drunken fags that David Gest once paid to have sex with him.

Gest paid for the plastic surgery to make them look as close to a Photoshopped version of Belushi and Aykroyd as possible.

Meanwhile, in other venues, yes, there's the dubious concerts featuring almost NO original members of famous 60's bands. Who the FUCK wants to see Herman's Hermits without Peter Noone?? How far from reality do you have to be, in order to cheer THAT?

One assumes that Bacharach or John Williams gets "performing rights" money when some lame Pops Orchestra does an evening of their music. But WHY leave the fucking house when you can put on a "best of" CD?

The Pops Orchestra phenomenon, which goes back to Arthur Fiedler and others, was to play "accessible" BITS of symphonic music, for idiots with no attention spans. The evening would be full of overtures ("William Tell" of course) and short catchy things like "Bolero." Plus "light classics" galore. Meanwhile real symphony orchestra have trouble filling seats even if they run an evening of the most accessible warhorses, like Beethoven's 5th, Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite" and a grand finale of "Night on Bald Mountain" by Muzzie Zurgsky.

Pops and "Symphonic" orchestras tour doing mostly MOVIE THEME MUSIC, the ersatz classical music of our time. Back in the day, guys like Korngold and Steiner were classically trained, and simply fell short of being taken seriously. So they dumbed down and created some very pretty melodies. That's no different than a best-selling author taking it easy, because nobody would buy if he tried to be another F. Scott Fitzgerald.

But a whole evening of that shit?

It could be worse...there's also the repulsive commerciality of "Symphonic Rock" evenings. Take any pretentious progrock band, and simply create lame orchestrations and do without the braying lead vocalist (that would be YOU, Master Gooker). Dimwits are happy with that.

An astute blogger pointed out that movie music should enhance a film, not overwhelm it. That was back in Steiner's day. That was before the "million selling soundtrack album" got greed-head moguls to insist that a movie AT LEAST have a fucking "theme song." You know: Henry Mancini's "Moon River" in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and "More" in "Mondo Cane" and all those fucking James Bond movies with three wasted minutes of montage so that Shirley Bassey or Matt Munro could get to a microphone.

Yes, sometimes a theme song is very pretty (Michael J. Lewis's very classical theme for "Theatre of Blood") or stirring (Bill Conti's now over-used theme from "Rocky.") No question, the pathos of the overly long and tear-jerky "Schindler's List" benefitted by the gentile Mr. Williams creating a fake-Jew piece of violin music. He surely added to the annoyance of "Star Wars" with the cornball heroica-theme. BUT...a whole fucking evening of HIM? And only his movie music? Back when he was "Johnny" Williams he wrote some pretty good TV themes. Nobody remembers?

How sad that now, a Pops Orchestra has to create a "theme" for the evening...ALL Williams, and not just a random selection of light favorites.

The bottom line is really, STAY HOME. How horrible is your home that you want to hang around with a bunch of Pale-heads, and rattle a bag of toffee and suck on some sweets while hearing limp renditions of romantic tunes, and maniacal martial renditions of bombastic themes?

IF I'M BEING HONEST, my mind wanders even if I'm at a symphony, or watching a string quartet for 90 minutes, or a solo pianist. My mind would shrivel and exit my ear if had to hear 90 minutes of a "Pops" orchestra and some cheesy vocalists doing the Best of Burt Backache.

Vagabonds? Never heard of 'em. Maybe the Grimsby Blues Brothers will play the Gay Baths of Scunthorpe. Not to mention the Pleasure Dome. One could better understand a concert where the main reason for going was to pick up a like-minded perv. But to go with a date or a family and sit through Greatest Shits by people who weren't even IN Freddie and the Wet Dreamers or Gerry and the Facemakers? Jeeez.

As bad as the economy is, it seems like people still have money to waste.

Yo, she wuz singin' y'all. And her FARCEBOOK friends weren't payin atten-shun

Farcebook.

EVERYBODY is a star. Here's a woman who had nothing better to do than SING on some kind of live stream, so her "FRIENDS" could watch.

After God knows how many boring minutes of this shit, she keeled over, and nobody seemed to notice or care.

Her Daddy is shocked by this. He don't know FARCEBOOK do he?

Well, she was quite a breeder.

You can say that for her. She added more babies to this overpopulated world, and when she wasn't spawnin' she was singin'

Oh, and a big thank-ya to the illiterate reporter of the story, for lettin' us know where it happened: at a "house Herndon was at."

She be at a house, yo.

Ebonics.

Ay, where yo' house at? Who be at yo' house?

Nice of da friend to turn off the video when da friend arrived home from da house Herndon was at.

It was sick, yo. It was even DOPE.

Stayin' at home, singing on FARCEBOOK. And now, yes, of course, it goes from FARCEBOOK to GOFUNDME.

Das da Inta-net, yo.

Yo, Poppa, you can have a thousand FARCEBOOK friends, stop posting, and not ONE is gonna say "What happened to..." Not after a week, a month or a fuckin' year.

Nobody's talkin' about the biological father(s) of this woman's chidd-ren? Where he be? He not Go-Fundin' anythin'?

She should'a been a Shauna. Or Johnny. Set up the camcorder, hoist shit to GooTube, and have the world realize you're already brain dead.