Mattias Lange Takes the Piss

Here's the latest from Herr Lange.

Let him explain as only he can. "Allo, ist der fat sweaty blob, Mattias here!
Ach, mit my squinty eye, I checked der catalogs and found anudder ting to shpend mein money on!
It's der PISS-GLASS. I unboxed it and vas so trilled! It has an etching of und schmuck pissing!
You fill up der PISS-GLASS mit your piss, and drink it! It makes drinking your own piss so much more entertaining!
As a gourmet, I know mein piss is finer than any German beer! OK, it has less germs in it than German beer, but it has much more salt and pig-smell. Yah!
You sniff und sniff, and then chug it all down! A few hours later you can piss it all over again and drink it all over again.
Yah, I am fat und stupid mit der pubic hair on my face and der wonky eye.
I am da clueless gurgling nitwit who likes to post idiot YouTubes showing myself unwrapping loser junk nobody else would want to buy.
Zo? I got nuthin else to do! I shpend most of my life pissing around!
PS, guess what the big brown knockwurst I am having for dinner REALLY IS!"


_

YIKE.

Speaking of disgusting looking monsters, how about this KATH CAMPBELL freak?
You got NOTHING to smile about, KATH.
Man? Woman? Sex changed chimp? Look at this gruesome spectacle in a wig and dentures.
If you saw this thing coming toward you, you'd jump into the middle of traffic. Better to be killed than have Kath Campbell's horrible face in your memory.