Sapristi! Of Spike Milligan and a casual, ignorant racist

Human nature is inhuman. Hypocrites are everywhere. Ain't no man righteous, not one.

And yet, it's still a bit of a surprise to be reminded of how matter-of-fact people can be about their bilious racism.

Whatever you are, and whatever your personal chagrin, you're bound to experience a pointless attack. Maybe you simply overhear somebody saying "all Muslims should be kicked out of the country." Maybe it's more personal, and somebody gives you the skunk eye and drops a dig at how you're dressed, the color of your hair or what you weigh. Or worse, there's an overt line that, at its mildest, might be, "Are you Polish? That name seems...POLISH." Like this means you're stupid or subhuman. Or actually Polish.

You wonder, "What's up with THAT jerk? I could've come right back with a line about his religion, his race, or pick on something about how he looks. Doesn't he understand he's no better than I am??"

It's as bizarre as when you read some neutral news article on anything from the price of cheese to the latest Paul Simon album, and some troll maniac leaves a comment about "That Nigger Obama!" or "9/11 Never Happened!" Huh? The guy in the tin foil hat is here?

You wonder how people like that function in daily life, without getting the punch in the face they deserve.

So here's a page on Amazon where two people have reviewed an obscure book on Spike Milligan.

The first review? Nothing wrong with it.

The second, by some guy in Sweden? He tosses in an ethnic reference for no reason except ignorant racism. Spike Milligan is Irish. Most of his fans are British (with some Australians). Why does this Swedish guy drop in a line of what race would be the only one suitable for reading a book HE didn't like?

Odd, isn't it?

If any religious group might be singled out for wanting to read about Spike, it might be Catholics.

You might, if you were stretching, and hated Catholics, say that if you want to read a book full of nasty anecdotes about the negative side of Milligan's personality, you might feel some "Catholic guilt" afterward.

Yet this Swede throws in his line about how you'd have to be not just a masochist to read the book but a Jewish one.

Huh?? What a Swedish meatball!

Squat Like a Woman, Nearly Become One

PORN, as his friends probably call him, nearly had his dick bitten off.

Why? Because in monkey countries like THAILAND, or SRI LANKA, they have "squat-toilets." Since the men are almost built like women anyway, everybody learns to just SQUAT when they pee.

PORN was squatting like the she-male he is, when that Python (Monty?) came up from the drain. Say no more!

The story has a happy ending. PORN's ok and, more important, the snake was not harmed.

LARD OF THE GAY BARS!

"Hey Low!

"Mr. Disgusted has been kind enough to give me some spaz, so I can make myself perfectly queer. I am multi-fauceted! Oh yes, first and four most, I buy records!

"Yes, I love to go collect useless, unlistenable crappy 45's. It IS my fetish. I do put on vinyl knickers and rub myself while I stare at the latest thins I bout at a boot sale or charity shop.

"Butt, I don't want to gif the impression I am one dementual.

"When the whether gets worm, I sometimes hire a boat and try to gather up in a net all the fish I can! Here is a photo of some of the fish!

"Don't they look almost as good as a box of old junk records? My big thin is to accumulate stuff. Take take take! Buying out a hole box of records gives me a thrill. Same thing when I put down the net and then haul a whole bunch of fish. Just having them makes me feel good. They are mine! I have taken them out of the oshin!

"I put them in the boot of my car. Maybe a day or two later they start to stink. Then I just put them in a dumpster off Kingston Road, in Leatherhead. Just call me a leatherhead! LOL!

"The reason I catch fish is it is a boring hobby and I like mundane things. I usually go out on a mundane, but some times a tuesdane. The other thin, is that fish remind me of how a twat smells! My sisters smelled of fish. This scared me so much! I would run back to my room and put on headphones and inhale a box of dusty records, and play a bunch of them. Whew! Matt Monro and Rolf Harris, here I cum!

"The fish remind me of the time I was briefly married, and had an adopted son. This was terrible. I was living a lye. The woman was Amy Wagstaff Wetone. We were more than a pair. We looked like five or six people glued together.

You can see by the expression on my pudgy face, I am not happy to be with a woman! I had to have headphones on and play Matt Monro! Amy thought I was lissning to a CD of her "Pryed and Prejudis" narration. No, it was Matt Monro, my big crush.

"Amy was nearly a big crush, but we did not consomme our relations ship. My penis, like a scared turtle, retreated so much you could not tell from us if we were two women or knot. That is why we adopted a son. Amy found out her favorite thing is to sketch defective cells and diseased tissue she saw under a microscope. And I went to my boot sales. Somehow, this was not the bases for a good mirage, and we got divorced and she got a divshare of everything but my records, thank Cod!

"So now I go to charity shops and boot sales and spend my life hauling records home and digitising them so nobody has to buy anything. I am obsessed with this. I have to digitise garbage that is thisclose from being junked in a trash compacter, and put them on my blog and say "I do not know anything about this" and "This did not chart" and "I do not remember if I got this at a charity shop or a boot sale but it is mine now."

Anyhoo, let me veal a secretion for you. Yes, I like to collect fish and I like to collect 45's. But now and then do take my dog for walkies. We go to a secluded place where I can mince and wobble along, looking like Adele or some other self-absorbed fat lady, and proudly watch my dog lay her muffins. I do not clean up because I do not like to. If I have to do anything I do not like I pout. I do what I please. It is not sell fish because I do not sell fish, I throw them away after I catch them. I just like to catch them so they are mine.

"I have a list of some places where I like to go. One place I never go with Muffin.

"Nudge nude wink wank, say no Moore! Did you notice the place in the lower rite hand corner?

"The place called Pleasure Dumb? Muscular naykid men are there. It is a London gay bar. I am just a fat old petulant pisspot, but I do like to at least add mire these guyys. So I sneak over to London to go there and stare. Then I come home, get a stack of Matt Monro records, and fuck the middle hole. Yes the red shaft of Robin goes bob-bob-bobbin for almost a minute! Then I feel funny and some stuff spurts on the floor.

"I do not know what it is, as Muffin instantly licks it up. I might post a picture of me doing this some time and a close-up of this bird's pudding stuff. I will ask everyone to offer theories on what it might be. It must be icing as Muffin loves it so, and barks for more. But I can not do that more than once a weak.

"What a life. Don't feel Surrey for me. I am quite preoccupied with my hobblies and I hardly even think of when my sisters brought me in for the lobotomy."

"WORLD'S BIGGEST ASSHOLE" Congrats, Shit-for-Brains

But does he have HUNDREDS of old 45's that DID NOT CHART???

Sad, this guy thinks so little of his skin that he gets all these tattoos? He has so little talent he has to cheat and get his teeth knocked out to proudly own a futile and idiotic record? He is some kind of self-hating wog who figures he gains respect by sticking straws in his mouth?? Sad.

"YOU'RE STILL A FUCKING PEASANT AS FAR AS I CAN SEE."

Fat Retard Robin Nerdth "The Lard of the Boot Sale" says What's THIS Then!

"I am so excited to find another record that DID NOT CHART!

"I don't know ANYTHING about it, except that Rolf liked young kangaroos even more than putting the older ones in bondage. Whatever. The important thing is it's now in my COLLECTION! I can numbly sit and marvel at how many records I own. It takes talent to buy records. Quantity, not quality! I even buy scratched ones. I could sit and listen to a broken record clicking and skipping, and I'd still be fascinated, just like a baby. Being senile, I'm sort of a baby.

"I went walkies last Sunday to Kuntsford. A fellow named Gersh told me about it. It's a little out of my way, as I live in Assholeford. However, riding atop my dog Muffin, I, your stalwart seeker of ANYTHING AT ALL, rode valiantly to Kuntsford to visit the charity shop there AND the boot sale.

"I have spent the last seven hours in church, praying to remember WHERE I got this record. Was it the charity shop or the boot sale? Damned if I can remember.

"I do remember that Muffin was panting so terribly from carrying my creepy carcass, I rented a Great Dane for the ride home. Do you know what I call him? That's right, Danish!

"I galloped home on Danish, with Muffin romping alongside! Shine on! What ho! By nightfall, I was home. My dogs were panting and panting. What a pair of panties!

"I got over 150 pounds of records in Kuntsford. You were expecting me to pay a record 150 pounds for a kunt instead? Not old gray me! I only care about records! Anything I did not already have, I bought. This happy pensioner has nothing else to spend money on. The wife ignores me and likes to gum any delivery man who can be aroused by her. (It helps that she has a big tattoo of a twat over her mouth.)

"My children are all grown, and have outgrown me, and think I'm a silly senile old fool. They'll think differently when they inherit this mammoth collection of singles that did not chart! I may not have Matt Monro singing "From Russia With Love," but I have him singing, "From Grimsby With Herpes."

"As to this single, by my beloved Rolf Harris, I would of course appreciate any loser to leave a nice comment and tell me things I don't know. This would include who the current Prime Minister is, what I had for lunch, and why there's brown stains in my underwear (in the front!)

"One thing that concerns me (and very little concerns me) is that boot sales are not as BIG as they used to be. I can not imagine why this is. After all, I digitise all the records I get at boot sales and obsessively upload them, and that gives lazy geeks and nerds plenty to listen to without leaving their basements and going outside.

Between me and GooTube juke boxes, even obscure shit is easy to find without buying. My, my, so why is it so many sellers have given up and aren't trundling their dusty records to boot sales? Can't they make a living off ME alone? I mean, they can, if they budget themselves, and get the marked-down bent cans at the market, and the day-old bread. I want records, that's the important thing. I want them. I have nothing else to do. I need to wander to boot sales on the weekend and then spend the next five days sorting my records and digitising them and staring at them.

"Sometimes, if they are very dusty, I wipe them with my flaccid penis. My foreskin usually has a few wet drops in it, which can add a bit of a shine to the black vinyl. If the record is very, very, very dusty, I will wipe it with my scrotum, as the hairs can get in the grooves and dislodge some grit. I've invited my wife to watch, but she won't. She's just not a fan of records. PS, I do not like the old American 45rpm records that have the large hole in the middle. I have sometimes stuffed my scrotum in the hole, and had to walk around that way for hours. It might take a good long walkie-walk with Muffin to dislodge the record. I do this at night, of course, so that I can walk around without my trousers and nobody will see and yell "You fucked up stupid old codger, I'll straight way call the police if you don't go back home!"

"I am so proud of myself for owning this song Rolf did rite after "Tie Me Kangaroo Down." I do not no if their is other sea quills. I wall try and fine out.

"Ooops! I see my spellcheck has stopped working. I better try and be careful and type slow wir. Their. That's butter. I posted enuf today but I will post more to mato. Goodbye for now old friends and book ends.

"I remain, most sin searly,

"Your Alzheimers-infested grandpa,

"ROBBIN (from the copyright oaners) NERDTH"

A Standing Ovulation for Repulsive Retarded eBay Seller slut panty piglets

"Do you know there's an epidemic of 'pre-owned panties' sellers on your site?"

"Duhhhhh. That's against our rules. Errrrrr."

"How about using technology and red-flagging auctions with those terms as a header?"

"Ahhhhh hmmmmmmmmm."

HOW...RIDICULOUS...HAS IT GOTTEN? How about this?

Talk about a bloody-minded bitch!

It's not INAPPROPRIATE to offer smelly menstrual-stained panties on eBay? To post them in a category where NORMAL women browse for lingerie?? How many women hoping to get a bargain on a Victoria's Secret overstock have to see THAT stupid ad instead?

This prissy pussy has the nerve to dictate rules on what is a grotesquely blatant and illegal ad. A lot of them are like this, and why not, they see pathetic jerks paying just to SMELL them! Women can be pretty cunty in the control-freak department without any encouragement. Here, the encouragement is EASY money.

The monkey bint see, monkey bint do mentality on EBAY goes triple for the stinky-knickers brigade. As soon as some idiot sees an ad like that, she figures, "oh, I can do it too."

Lately sellers with hundreds of positives have "gone rogue" and rush to their hampers to fish out stinky panties to photograph. Most of 'em put the items on and shove their asses at the camera so you can get a good look.

Says one UK eBay bidder named Robin: "After a long day going to boot sales, and smelling dust and used vinyl, I find it most refreshing to go into my bathroom and sniff knickers! I get worked up enough to wank while listening to "The Martian Hop" at 78rpm. A minute later, it's all over!"

When some dumb twat sees another dumb twat get $20 for a pair of smelly panties...the bells go off in her empty skull. Even if she can't really read or write, she can sure squat in her undies and make an odor. That leads to this:

Ebay happily will throw up (that's the proper term) another three auctions on the subject of your search. Note that this illiterate ad has three ads for OTHER used panties from OTHER sellers.

Says eBay: "Oh, you are looking at an illiterate twat's used underwear auction? Don't forget THESE THREE! Smells don't last forever, and your nose does become acclimated, so you might as well buy more from a variety of morons!"

To be fair (and this blog is MORE THAN FAIR) not every egocentric malodorous mongrel-bitch gets away with it. Sometimes when a shameless whore shoves what she thinks is a gorgeous bum into the camera, covered in nylon or maybe almost naked in a thong, the auction DOES get bounced. Maybe two or three days later. Or a week. Yes, she's probably gotten plenty of panting panty-lovers to PM her with lewd if not insane requests, but she ends up OFF the site. Is she sad? Maybe, but maybe she got enough PM's for using eBay as Craigslist, to have a slew of new nerd-clients who are glad to use eBay's twisted sister Paypal for phone sex, Skyping, or more).

Ha ha ho ho hee hee. And a lolly-lolly-LOL. Here's a newcomer who got five auctions KNOCKED OFF before they could be completed. Did she get upset? NO! LOL! She re-upped, changing the headers from "Pre-Owned Panties" to "NOT Pre-Owned Panties." LOL! Ohhhh, LOL!

Yeah, women do not have a great sense of humor, LOL. They like Amy Schumer movies, LOL. They sit around on a train clustered like hens, squealing and giggling and clucking over nothing. LOL.

This idiot even used that corny L@@K symbol. Oooh, LOL!

Isn't it nice when stupid women can make a few bucks doing the only thing they're capable of?

You too can make yourself up like whore cocksucker bitch Kylie Jenner

Oh, THAT's the reason for the monkey lips.

The fabulous daughter of deranged monsters Kris Jenner and freako Bruce/Caitlyn, has put shit on her lips because she's SELLING GARISH COSMETICS to other slutty slag retards.

The brain-dead bitch, like her autistic sisters, has this THING for black guys (as does her mama...freako Bruce/Caitlyn was famous, so he was an exception). So black lips are supposed to entice the Niggas into shoving their dongs down her throat.

It also helps to have a giant white ass. Black guys LIKE DAT.

I was glad to see the few "nice comments" greeting this garish photo. Like: "That's what happened when she serviced Tyga" and "Was she sucking a car exhaust pipe" and "We all wish the Kardashians and Jenners would be blown to bits by ISIS."

The depressing thing is there are thousand upon thousands of low-class bints who think this is a sexy look, and all they want is to get knocked up by Niggas, and spit in the face of Mum and Dad.

Come on, where's the APP that will filter out ALL references to the shit-head space-wasting celebrities? It's getting to the point where I just can't watch the news or read the news, because to much of the news is about LOSERS like this horrific whore.