Classy Nig Cannon - "I Fucked the Shit Out of Her"

You know Nick Cannon? Nig Cannon? Lookie, we is ALL good, ya know? I can say Nig Cannon. Just like he can say Smallnut and do whiteface.

Well, Nig got hisself into some trouble (again). He told the world how romantic he is with Mariah. First time..."I fucked the shit out of her."

You think Mariah wanted the world to know she took it up the ass and lay turds after his turdy dick was in there?

Nig also told the world that he fucked Kim Kardashian. Oooh, what a conquest.

Is there a Nig anywhere in the world who HASN'T fucked KARDASHIAN?

So the big news of the day (slow news day) is that Nig gave his partially white, partially fish, partially chocolate milk wifey some BLING to make up for his dirty mouth.

Now, I feel sorry for Cannon. The reason he's doing whiteface racist comedy, and spouting his mouth off, is because everybody hates him. They hate him because he's a no talent. Ever see him do stand-up? Of course not. That's pretty much restricted to a men's room in Compton somewhere, where his "crib" of morons, so high on smack and crack, will laugh at everything. Especially "I fucked the shit out of her."

In his effort to become a Lennon song ("Cannon is the Nigger of the World") our boy doesn't just restrict himself to hilariously impersonating white people. After all, that shit was done by the Wayans Brothers ten years ago, and a hack comic like Cannon can't be expected to come up with anything but refried beans.

To add to his canon, this goofus has to show the world he's a stud. He's fucked a Kardashian! And let's remember, he's got a prize catch in Mariah Carey, a stupid bitch who was married to an old old white guy!

Oh well. Do some more Whitey jokes now, do some more "Smallnut" bits, and tell the world "I'm White" ha ha ha ha, while wearing a ginger wig. IT'S ALL GOOD!

Sure, it must be awfully tiresome to be known mostly as MR. MARIAH CAREY, father of two stupidly named children Monroe and Moroccan. It must be sad to also be known, barely, as the host of Howard Stern's "America's Got Talent," where Cannon does almost nothing except bug out his eyes and grimace into the camera when an amateur (worse than himself) does something stupid.

I wish him all the best...getting to fuck Bruce Jenner? Maybe do it while wearing whiteface and making fun of honky ofay Vanilla bastards. You tell us how that was, Nig, we're all dying to know.