Idiot Miley Cyrus Lip Tattoo - Asshole Lady Gaga Puke Art

If I wrote a satirical novel about the nadir of rock music...it might open this way:

"As a crowd of drunken hipster-rednecks roared with delight, she clung to a spit and was turned around and around. She wore nothing but a black bra and underpants. The crowd cheered. One girl excitedly told another, "Did you see her on TV the other night? She wore a dress made out of coffee filters! Woo hoo!" "Look Look!" cried the other. They wouldn't want to have missed this: a performance artist was center stage, heaving her belly, regurgitating greenish goo. It landed right on the superstar's tits. "Seriously!" one girl cried. "Think we could do that back at the hotel room?" her friend smirked.

"Meanwhile, far from the festival that saw a drunken driver kill two people, and the city of Austin suddenly emerge as "weird" and "cool," another rock star held a press conference. Known for sticking her tongue out, this time the boyish blond had something new and exciting to show off. She peeled down her lower lip to show the world an ugly little tattoo. Or was it a tattoo? It might've been a leech. Maybe a bumble bee she was trying to eat. "Shocking!" one reporter gasped. "Wheee!" said another. "Holy Jesus," said another. It seemed like these reporters were about to collapse to their knees in honoring the new Queen of Pop..."

You know what would happen next? My editor would have me on the phone saying, "Come on...if you're going to make shit up, make it believable! This satire of yours is just too nasty, too ridiculous, too absurd. The music-buying public isn't that stupid. Re-write this, and don't be so broad in your parody, so jaded and cynical, so downright ridiculous. Puking on somebody? Tattooing a lower lip? You're going overboard here...entertainment isn't THAT bad, and it'll never be THAT bad..."

Oh yeah?

How long did this idiocy take? 48 hours? Viley Virus and Lady Gaga dueling to see who can get the most publicity for the least artistic reason.

So what's next, girls? Maybe Viley can get Li'l Wayne or somebody to pull on one of her labia and play it like a jew's harp. Oh, but first her labia needs to be tattooed bright green. And Lady Gaga? Forget Austin. She can play a gig in Piscataway, New Jersey, and get away with having some guy piss in her face, while some scat-minded slut squats on her head and dumps a big turd on it.

"THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT..."