FALLON CANCELS SHOWS DUE TO FAKE TWAT BIRTH

Let's just say that Jay Leno and Johnny Carson would not have done this.

What happened to "the show must go on?"

Leno didn't miss a show when his mother died. Or when his father died.

Carson didn't miss a show when his son accidentally drove over a fucking cliff and died.

But another stupid dollop enters the world...and this fucking FALLON fuck doesn't show up for work?

For FUCK's sake, the dollop was born through a SURROGATE.

Jimmy-boy's wife is 47 and so he injected his sperm into somebody or something.

It wouldn't be enough for Wifey to supervise this bitch-hatch? FALLON, who is being paid TEN or TWENTY MILLION for his show, has to be there, too? What SHIT.

If you haven't watched this puppy, you're not missing anything but a fucking headache, really. He's "old school" in that like Sammy Davis Jr., he loves to fall all over himself, literally doubling over in fake-laughter, or helplessly rolling on the floor because SOMEBODY said SOMETHING.

Instead of actually interviewing people, he plays stale games like Pictionary and Password with them, or "hilarious" stunts like throwing water on each other.

So why would I watch this fucking shit? Because Letterman was in re-runs and the other jerk, Kimmel, thought it would be entertaining to have his obnoxious Aunt (Aunt Chippy) answer e-mails by ranting in an ugly New Yawk accent. He also thought it would be amusing to run a "talent" contest which was so fucking lame one of the finalists didn't show up, and the winner was a fucking Jim Carrey FAIL, dressed up in a too-large leather jacket that he thought made him look like The Fonz. Total SHIT.

Kimmel was also having one of those incomprehensible Puerto Rican or Italian chicks as the first guest. Fallon was supposed to have some slut who at least might speak English. Only...why was the network re-running an old stale episode with awful Daniel Rat-cliff doing RAP?

Yeah, Danny Boy Potter, still trying to make people think he's not 4 feet tall and a wimp, stood up and recited his favorite rap "song." He wanted to prove how he could memorize a RAP song! Hey, if it was difficult, a BLACK GUY couldn't have done it in the first place.

So I wondered, why the fuck is Fallon having this God-awful re-run? Did he have a seizure from fake-laughing?

No. He simply wanted to spend his time supervising his latest dollop.

First off, it was coming out of somebody else's twat! Was he there in the delivery room, staring at somebody else's ever-widening whore-hatch? He and his lovely wife? Oooh, we donated the egg (maybe) and sperm (one assumes), but we left it to somebody ELSE to go through the misery of the pregnancy! OOOOH, let's not do a "Tonight Show" for TWO DAYS because of this.

Nevermind the guests for those two days who were so excited about their big chance on "The Tonight Show" (some for the first time, no doubt). Forget that some of them were only in town for a few days and would have to be re-scheduled for AFTER the premiere of the film or album.

Pretty embarrassing, isn't it? Carson didn't need a SURROGATE to have 3 sons. Leno? BETTER STILL, he has NO children. He hasn't added to the planet's burden. Letterman? He was probably tricked into staying home and being faithful, so he suddenly had a son. But that was once. About eleven years ago. Kimmel? He's a bit of a psycho. He LOVES kids. He can't get enough of their adorable antics. Any time some dipshit throws some stupid shit about kids on YouTube, Kimmel has to curl his lips, chuckle and say, "Watch this...watch this..." He had some brats of his own when he was about 20. Now that he's close to 50, he's started back up again with his latest wife, and he's got MORE brats. Fine, he can afford it, and didn't cancel any shows.

Did "The Tonight Show" staff get paid for two days of not doing anything? How generous. How about the viewers, who are already suffering the Christmas miseries, and in a desperate search for fresh entertainment, are even willing to suffer through the endless Christmas-themed commercials? Nah, fuck 'em. The great Fallon wants to spend two days cooing over his new dollop.

Will he turn up on Friday for his fabulous "Thank You Notes" routine? Thank you, Jimmy, for being such a pussy douche. What will you do next week, pre-empt yourself because your wife is making hard boiled eggs for breakfast and you want to watch and see how they turn out?