Coffin Company: Justin Bieber Gets most "Wish He was Dead" wishes

Come on, don't we all wish Justin Bieber was dead? The Coffin Makers of America did a poll, and 34% of participants agreed.

Don't we wish Viley Virus got a cunt infection? According to Vagisil, 34% of those polled hoped Viley would have her cunt sore and itchy, with 33% choosing Kim Kardashian.

And according to the Succatash Council of Iowa, 34% of those polled would like to shove an ear of corn up Aidy Bryant's fat ass. While the NAACP said 34% of its members hate Aidy's "fat white lady acting black" routine.

And in England "Addled Savage," an obscure drummer, was voted "Most Likely To Be Punched In the Face" by a Box Nation poll announced by Mr. Bunce, personally.

OH.

All the above? Horse shit, of course.

But listen, if you run any kind of dopey business, the best way to get publicity is to create a poll, then have a publicist throw it to the MEDIA. This is real...

JUSTIN BIEBER...

was voted WORST NEIGHBOR...

By some real estate company YOU NEVER HEARD OF:

Yes, the MEDIA is hungry, so hungry it bites at any turd, and slurps down piss. You can just see editors delighting in seeing this flak garbage come splashing onto the computer screen: "Justin Bieber Voted Worst Neighbor..." Sure, let's run with it! Who cares what stupid real estate company is behind it, or if they only polled 50 people. It'll be FUN...

And it is. Gosh. Nobody would want to live next to Bieber, Virus or Kardashian. Except they keep wanting to read about that trio of twats every fucking day? They WOULD want to live next to puppy dog Fallon, or some dopey C&W singers or Matthew McSpellcheck the delusional actor with the walnut-sized brain? Yet none of THEM get even half the coverage of the HATED celebs.

Oh well. It's ALL infotaining. Isn't it? Van Der Sloot was just voted "Man I'd Most Like To Knife Up the Ass" by his fellow Peruvian prisoners. Mark David Chapman, who is in jail in upstate New York, nearly won it via write-in votes.