Thanks for the invitation...but...

NO THANKS.

Now her saggy, lopsided tits belong to the ages...

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Hansy's Wife

"Hallo!

"This is such a NICE blog I thought I would add a picture for you all. Yes, I am Hansy's very own "hair bag," Marieke der Frieke. These days I am NTX - NOT TOO XCITING. But look at me on the right! 

"At one time, my Hansy loved to take pictures of me getting 'skull fucked' as he called it. Oh, he was one sado-masochistic nutjob. One minute he'd be growling at me and calling me dirty names. Then he would get emotional, say he was sorry, and lick the cum off my lips. 

"You have NO IDEA what it has been like for 50 years. I am so glad I will die soon. I only hope Hans dies first so I can watch him gasp like a beached whale, and groan, and call out my name. 'You are my rock, Marieke,' he will say. And I will answer. 'What, I did not hear you, I have tinnitis.' Ha ha ha. 

"The blood will drain from his face, and day after day he will shrink and shrivel from being a big fat bearded blimp to being a skeletal, frightened old man. He will sob, 'I should have made better use of the time I had left, and not spent it on the Internet giving away Christmas music to strangers.' And I will reply, 'Yes, you should have spent more time watching me giving blowjobs to Niggas. Because that's what I was doing while you were on the Internet. You used to watch and take pictures! But once you were fired at 55, and your testicles suddenly got sucked up into your intestines, and got shitted out during that diverticulitis fit, you lost ALL interest in sex. 

"You began to tell the world, 'Blogging saved my life.' What could I do but go sit in a window in an Amsterdam brothel and offer discounts to Niggas? Soon enough I got a little black book of big black dicks. I could make calls and say:  'Stubbleface is on the Internet, he will be busy for hours. Come over and merle my haggard!' Again and again I would get fucked and always finish off with a load in my mouth. Meanwhile my idiot husband was typing boasts and insults at people he didn't know. Then I would hear him crying as he vowed never to blog again. Then he would shut down his latest blog and getting a new one a minute later. 

"Now we are an old feeble couple. We go to Applebees once a week and this is a big deal. The most excitement we had in the past ten years was nearly getting into a car wreck. I only wish I could get him interested in my ISP - Infected Smelly Pussy. Oh well, I have had almost as many different Niggas as he has had smooth jazz CDs. Hundreds! He has had 20gb of Christmas music and I have had 20oz of bg. That's twenty ounces of blackman's goo. A day!"
 

Shauna Cuntwell's new FIVER campaign

SHAUNA CUNTWELL recently called up her ex-manager, Bill Hoobastank. She was moaning, "Nobody will pay for my music! Nobody wants to use me as a model on FIVERRRRR. Nobody will pay me to do voice-overs for them! Why is that?" 

And Bill said, "Gurgle gurgle gurgle!" Which made almost as much sense as her mumbling Irish accent, which sounds like a duck farting into a bathtub full of beer. Bill sent her an email with a link to a SUCCESSFUL bitch on Fiver:

The idea of making a lot of MONEY trumped Shauna's innate slum prudery. 

She decided to take the plunge, and do something with NUDITY!!

With the help of ace photographer Cilla Blackledge, and some lipstick, Shauna has been experimenting with the right slogans that might get guysssss to pay her for pictures!

Coming soon, her new ad campaign: "Pay me a fiverrrr and I'll write your name over my belly button!" I'll make it seem like I charge for everyone but YOU! Like...
I'M A WHORE...but for TAYLOR SWIFT...I'm a SLUT!

Walkin' around with Nose Rings, Buying Da Vinci Paintings...

Years ago, Dylan sang about the filthy Saudi bastards "walkin' around with nose rings," and asking if made you embarrassed. 

Well, the slow train from embarrassment to rage...is still way down the tracks. Because everybody knows that there's no end to Arab scummery. They still have ALL the oil, and the idiot countries of the world that are so slow to convert to solar energy are allowing these mongoloids to rule. 

On their terms, of course. Here's an Arab monkey who decided, for a lark, to buy a priceless painting for himself. Think he's gonna donate it to the Met or the Louvre? Allah, no. He's got it ALL to his greasy slimy Arab self:

White philanthropists (there doesn't seem to be another kind) always gave to charity. They built libraries. They funded the arts. This Arab piece of shit grabs a Da Vinci for himself. Is he known to be an art lover? Of course not. 

That's the Arab scum. All they know is greed. All they know is prancing around in their bed sheets, being PRINCES, indulging in white slavery and gluttony, and grinning through their filthy beards as if there's NO chance their heads will be cut off by ISIS, or a missile will come their way from Kim Jung-Fatshit. 

Whenever there is a disaster, the Arabs turn away and count their money. The Russians and the Chinese smirk. It's the Americans who have to give and give and give, and get called names for it. Did an American come close to getting this painting? Was any MUSEUM for the PEOPLE close? 

Just another example of how twisted and disgusting the world is, and the creeps who have the REAL money and power.

Mercedes Grabowski

"August Ames," who nearly reached 300 (porn films made, if you include a majority of 10 minute Internet quickies) was born Mercedes Grabowski. 

Her last name is pretty disgusting, but so were her films. She had a habit of grunting like a constipated baby, and among her least amusing affectations: a bolt through her tongue.

It probably matched the one that was sticking into her brain. What a moron.

And what DO you do with a MORON? Yep...

One good thing about having a bitch with a pierced tongue, is that after you've come in her mouth a few times, and you want some rest, you take the bolt out, and put in a nail, and hammer it down on a board. Sort of a Ubangi deal. She can't talk with her tongue impaled on a board. 

Jesus, what a great idea. If you do want a little noise, why just use the back of a hammer, pull the nail out, and release the board. Then pull her tongue wayyyyy out and blow into her tongue like a whistle. You might even get a cheerful tune going.

Oh. Not with her. She hanged herself. Well, there are plenty of other porn actresses with bolts through their tongues. And plenty with enough rings in their labia to set off a metal detector a mile away. 

The good news is that in a shoutbox, some guy is saying, "I can not enjoy porn because I have tinnitis, but I will give you 20 gb of "August Ames" porn scenes. This is how I want to spend the time I have left. But you must email me for the links! My new email address is: FillMyAssWithJunk. Really. If you didn't think I was crazy before, think about the kind of mind that thinks up THAT kind of email address!" 

Shauna, you COULD start making money by replacing August Ames. "August Cuntwell" has a nice ring to it. Put a few rings in your labia. You're already shaved. A bolt through your tongue might improve your diction. Ah...but you WILL need to get a nose job. In porn, it's not a good idea for a nose to be longer than a dick. People don't want to see a nose vs dick swordfight. 

PS, Shauna, they say loads of cum can help you hit the high notes. Just ask "Gurgles" Huelbig.

He is also a member of Talking Headless

What, again?

The STINK is STILL WAFTING from WENIG's GIRLFRIENDS

Oh that Devin Wenig. CEO of eBAY. What a piece of shit he is. He is SUCH a PIMP.

Here are some of his latest girlfriends, making money for him by stinking up the postal system. Devin is the Devil all right. He looks like a son of Trump. Or just the son of a whore. Which he no doubt is. 

WHEW...this DUMB fat-assed piece of trash. She does the usual moronic STARE INTO HER CAMERA narcissim. She thinks someone wants to PAY to SMELL her? How about paying for the dustman to cart this BAGGAGE to the GARBAGE DUMP? 

AND NOW...the ever popular SKANK WITH THE EYESORE TATTOO. Devin LOVES this girl, right? 

WHAT made this meth-addicted whore get her skin etched with such an ugly, distracting face? Maybe she  thought it looked like Devin Wenig. He IS a sleaze. 

Last but least, yo yo yo, who wouldn't want to SMELL some ROAST PIG? 

Yo, did you SHIT in yo' drawers? Oh. Those are your ass cheeks. WHEW.

Some Twat On a Train...

Some twat on a train, smelling of twat....

"I'm Dying..." (Again) and "Oooh, the Deleter took my Links!!"

What courage. As he loves to say in any shitbox he stinks in, and in any blog he soils, "I'm a GOOD MAN." All he wants is to give away soft, soft instrumentals and C&W drek. ("It sure beats paying for music!") 

The courageous CLOD offers the latest...how he's dying...and how his LINKS got deleted. Yes, the same old same old. WHO the FUCK believes this idiot? How many times has he been to hospital or been NEAR DEATH and how many times have his links magically been DELETED "only minutes after I posted them." Oh, and how about that great "THE FBI IS AFTER ME" post at the shitbox? 

The latest hilarity with the Crying Dutchman, is THIS post (what, no PHOTOS) saying that he's refused open-heart surgery! Well, how do you FIND his heart? He doesn't have one. He PRETENDS to have one, with his tin-man whining about 9/11 and how he's "so emotional." Right. Like when he blows up forums, blows up blogs, blows up links, threatens people with death....what a heart. 

He's WELL ENOUGH to post this shit, AND he's WELL ENOUGH to stubbornly scream and holler in a shitbox all about how he's got his SECRET blog.

He's WELL ENOUGH to "walk out" of the hospital. 

He will be happy to RE-UP anything to anyone who pays him homage and meekly contacts his GMail and BEGS to be put on his list. 

Yeah, the "Deleter" can knock stuff off "within minutes." In other words, idiots, you better contact him through GMail RIGHT AWAY. Remember, BABY loves INSTANT ATTENTION. He'll pretend that the only way you can get his precious collection of hillbilly music is to hurry up and respond to him the minute he offers it. SNAP TO IT! Otherwise, the "Deleter" will make sure you NEVER get it, and maybe the blog will be blown up too. Then you might have to wait a whole DAY before attention-deprived bearded-baby says "I'm BACK!" 

For a guy who is supposedly about to suffer a heart attack, he quickly goes back to his usual rants about deleted links and spending his last days trying to give away Glen Campbell music! He gallantly walked out of the hospital so his disciples can continue kissing his hairy ass and being concerned about his oh-so-fragile health. 

Christ, the shitbox is like The Wall Street Journal and the Times combined...it's SO full of valuable, Earth-shaking information! It must be read by bright, intelligent people who are involved with what really matters! After all, it's being led by the guy who said "Be careful with the time you have left." Not that he's said THAT recently! THAT quote seems to have disappeared from his addled Gouda-brain. 

WHAT hospital "as a precaution" offers a patient OPEN HEART SURGERY???

Poor Dutch Douche, he can't quite make his lies believable, except to the retards who spend their lives quivering like bunnies because they desperately need to fill a gap or two in their collection of Status Quo albums.  

"We think you should have open heart surgery." "Oh, no, no, I must go on the Internet and tell people about my secret blog! Besides, I have tinnitis! You people have no idea how I suffer! My tinnitis is so bad, that I keep asking people to send me links to music I desperately want to hear, and to tell me a good torrent where I can download a new movie I want to see! That's how tortured I am with tinnitis!"

A while ago he whined that he was afraid to download torrents because BREIN is very big on fining Dutch Douches like him, and that they have ways of knowing exactly what he's up to. He's paranoid. But not enough. He's scared shitless but wears Adult Diapers. He's always crying about how he's dying but he NEVER DOES.

Pill Huelbig, Shit for Brains, Fat Headed Grinning GOOFBALL

"Hello everyone!

"Guess what? Frank Vincent lived SEVEN WHOLE YEARS after making contact with my yeasty body and seeing my stupid pumpkin-like face. Imagine that!

"You'd think he would've been bored to death just hearing ONE FUCKING WORD from a useless librarian drone like me. Some dull-witted fag-virgin jackass."

"If you'd like to see more pictures of my cantaloupe-like head and my yellow-toothed grimace, Christ, they are ALL over the place. I pose the same way all the time. Frank looks like he and I are good friends. He was very friendly with my $20 Bill.

"In fact, that's what you could call me. $20 Bill. That's how I impress people. I PAY THEM. Because otherwise, well look at me. I'm a vacant-faced dumb-ass goofus goon. I am a total fucking waste of space. New York should not allow me to commute into town from New Jersey. Maybe the next time there's a fucking train wreck, I'll be part of it, and other than my extremely ugly sister, NOBODY will give a rat's ass.

"Lastly, guess what. I'm on Rotten Tomatoes! No, ROTTEN TOMATOES don't refer to my balls. It's a website where idiotic self-important geek-jackasses give their worthless opinions on the latest movies. Oh my LORD, I went to see MOTHER. I thought maybe it was about my MOTHER, the one who turned me off women for life.

"If you go on the site, and scroll through OVER ONE HUNDRED PAGES OF ASSHOLES blabbering about a fucking MOVIE, you might find MINE. Did I like it? Did I hate it? Am I too boring to even masturbate? Why am I alive? To give $20 to has-beens so they can pose with me! SEVEN YEARS later, the infection from shaking my hand finally led to Vincent's death. Oh well. Be very worried, Louise Lasser!"

From the TRAVEL GUIDE website...

What a Miracle, he isn't DEAD yet

"It looks bleak." 

What, this Dutch Douche is about to DROP DEAD? 

Of course not. It's just the bearded Drama Queen calling attention to himself in his pathetic shitbox, for his turd-headed followers. All two of them. There's always a few who need a really false idol to worship. 

Two days ago he was pouting and sobbing, claiming to be in the ICU. "It looks bleak." He was probably just going in for an ordinary check-up "on the government's teat." 

Because here he is, ba-a-a-a-a-ck as if NOTHING HAPPENED to him. Nothing about his miracle cure, just his usual pathetic need to give away old garbage. Anyone really want more KRAFTWERK? Sorry fat Dutch Nazi, everybody's already said HEIL to that. 

There he goes, chattering away like an old monkey. SO important to him. Nothing else in his worthless life. Not even his mommy-wife. 

Oh, and of course, getting shot down only means he pops up with a new obnoxiously-named bloggy-poo.

 

"I am the Princess of Blogs!" What an achievement. He can get all the blogs he wants. 

It looks BLEAK...so I'm spending my dying days in a shoutbox

"Make good use of the time you have left," said the bearded drama queen.

He's Taken a TURN FOR THE WORSE

Can you upload the sound of a broken record?

Oh, he replied, he does it FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!

Yeah, muddy, you're getting bored of his games, but you don't dare complain too much. YOU will get USER KILLED, and all you'll get from your creepy idol is haughty remarks about "the good of mankind" and a stubborn desire to keep GETTING EVEN. Or so he thinks.

THE END OF THE WORLD!

"Hallo! 

Kim Jung-Un has announced his Nuke is almost finished. Tomorrow he will send it flying toward CAL E. FORNIA and blow half of America off the map! I am so emotional! I am crying!

What this means is that you in America have 24 HOURS to email me for the WETRANSFER links to my SOFT MUSIC COLLECTION of SAMBAS. Do not DELAY. Only 24 HOURS left! My way or the highway! Get it now or not at all!" 

There, Snookums...YOU can grow up to be LISA APPLETON

Christ, what ARE they thinking? 

Even if you DON'T have children, you should know better than to keep on promoting idiots like Viley Virus, Kuntrashian, or THIS repulsive load of Bird's Pudding: 

This appeared on an AMERICAN news website. NOBODY in America knows who the FUCK this fat-assed whore is. The one with the black-and-blue mark on her ass.

Ah, click this POPULAR topic, and you're taken across the pond to THE SUN. Yes, the British tabloids have always been notorious for running pix of naked models. But that was a category. A parent could say, "Well, that's a naked model. Women like that pose in Playboy and Razzle, and that's as far as they go." 

Try to explain why some bitch like Lisa Appleton or Kim Kuntrashian is considered a STAR! "A REALITY STAR." The reality of this is beyond disgusting. 

So is Lisa Appleton: 

The BAD news, Shauna, is that guyyyyysssss will look at ANYTHING with TITS and a TWAT. 

Hell, they'll look at somebody with TITS and a DICK. 

There's nothing too appetizing or erotic about a dumb fat-ass whose monkey mouth hangs open as she grabs at her exposed blubber. She looks retarded. 

The lesson, we are told by idiot bitches, is "This is EMPOWERING. She doesn't have a great body, and it's OK! Women can be overweight and ugly, and STILL show off their bodies and people will LOOK! Isn't that wonderful? Lena Dunham! Lisa Appleton! Grrrrrl powerrrrrrr." 

And the lessons that the feminists taught in the 60's and 70's, when they fought to be called MS and not identified by marriage? Forget that shit. 

The dumbing down of the culture will continue until North Korea blows the world up. If ISIS or Pakistan doesn't do it first. North Korea had the fucking nerve to declare that they want to blow Japan out of the water and turn America into ashes. And all the world does is huff about sanctions? While this maniac country continues to work on building a nuke? 

It's not spooky enough to realize that some of the most unstable idiots on the planet already have nuclear weapons. One of the big fears for Bill Clinton was the Taliban taking over Pakistan and some bearded bastard pushing the button so everybody could either go to Allah or go to hell. The continued war in Afghanistan, according to Bill Maher (and who is more of an expert) is about having a U.S. presence near to Pakistan to help control any radical Islam assholes from taking it over. 

Meanwhile, the reason to enjoy life is seeing Lisa Appleton naked, in all her overweight glory, with her blobby arms and slobby gut. ARM A GUT ON.

Fat Shaming? Hell, LENA is PROUD TO BE A PIG

While the HBO hit 'Game of Thrones' is known for giving nerds and ugly fat old farts named George a chance to see topless teens, a worse travesty on HBO involves...

LENA DUNG HEAP. Aka Lena Dunham. AKA Ham Face and Pig Body. 

For some reason, the current trend among comediennes is to be fat, repulsive and proud of it. Roseanne was the exception years ago. She sneered about being a selfish blob, and all the trailer trash idiots in America identified with her.

Then, SMART women invaded comedy, and there was Brett Butler, Ellen Degeneres, Judy Tenuta, and then Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Chelsea Handler, Sarah Silverman and many more. Yes, some of them played on being weird, or being dirty, but they were funny. And if you didn't laugh at them, you could understand why others did. 

Somehow, from Degeneres the world of ha-ha- twat has degenerated into "hey, I'm a dirty ugly pig who likes to get naked!" Oh, HO HO HO. 

Yes, the BIG thrill on her horrible HBO show is how often she GETS NAKED. And if you don't want to see her small titted fat-hipped ugly body, toooooo baaaaaaad. She's here and she's...DISGUSTING.

Pig-face stand-up slob Amy Schumer, while not waddling around naked (her cousin IS the senior Senator from New York) is just as annoying. Don't find her funny? Then you must be sexist. If you're a WOMAN and don't find her funny, you're into fat-shaming. 

What's next TALENT shaming? You're no longer allowed to say that somebody is simply a mediocre cunt?

HERE IS THE PROOF I WAS THERE!

And now, a word from the Dutch Douche himself:

"I am SO emotional! I post here, becource if I post on my own blog I will only blow it up in a day or two. This shud be a perminate record. There are terrabyte, uh, terrabull peeple who deny 9/11 happened or that I was there! 

"Of curse I was there! I was at the Mary Yott. I know I have said I was across the way in New Jersey watching. Then I said I was uptown. Or did I say downtown? Where IS the Mary Yott? Anyhoo, here is the real thing! Photo! You can beleeve, like my photo of Laura Bush showing her bush. 

"See I yam covered with shit and soot and dirt and grease from my Applebees double hamburger with extra Gouda. I am with my boyfriends Zin Hoff and Christer Andersen. We had to eggsit the area. Just seeing this makes me emotional. What can I do? Maybe post a complete discography of Brian Wilson or Neil Young! As I like to say in the shitbox, "It beats paying for music!" Yes. 

"I tell you, like I told you on the anniversary Die Anna died, REMEMBER! And don't forget to email me for links to today's 2GB of Hawaiian muuuuuuusic! Aloha!!"

Goodbye, Aussie Bitch

Selling a few stinky knickers and...suspended. 

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaansy

But haven't we seen this before? Like a few weeks ago?

He keeps giving and taking away. He keeps being so generous and then he throws his tantrums.
 


Ugly fat pathetic old bearded baby with nothing better to do than tease, scream, moan about himself, and show pictures of himself and whine because he's noticed his lip is too fat and he must be dying.

The crazy bastard, within a few minutes, posts that he might be disfigured for life, and in the next, his biggest concern is giving some moron more muuuuuuusic.

You find NICE things in used book stores!

NIKKI? Why not BUFFY, SHAUNA or SEKA?

In case you don't know, the United States Ambassador to the United Nations...has a fucking PORN name.

NIKKI.

She looks like an ex-porn actress, too. She looks like she went from 3-ways with black guys to being a waitress at Waffle House, too old and worn out to make dirty movies anymore. Just clean dirty dishes. 

But she's the United States Ambassador to the United Nations.

I guess she fits right in, doesn't she, when the leader of North Korea is a pudgy androgyne with a rick-sized dick, the head of Russia is a latent homosexual obsessed with taking his shirt off and showing his tits, and the Prez is a corrupt ex-Casino owner and reality TV whiz with the silliest hair since Bozo the Clown. 

NIKKI.

OK, NIKKI, what's your answer to Un-the-Goon playing with an H-Bomb right after aiming missiles at Japan? 

Yeah, "enough is enough." SO? China and other countries merely offered "sanctions." Like, "we won't sell Un-the-Goon any more coal. And we won't give him medical aid. And we won't buy is dog-burgers or whatever the fuck Moth Korea exports. 

The answer, which nobody seems to want to admit, is for a pre-emptive strike staged by America, Russia and China, that blows Un-the-Goon sky-high. Take out his fucking palace. Take out his government buildings. Just BLOW this fucker away. 

Saddam had to go. Khadaffy had to go. THIS asshole has to go. Putin is supposed to be so good with spies? He's ex-KGB? He can't pay for a few North Korean soldiers to defect and shoot Un-the-Goon in the head in return for a million bucks? How about England with its James Bond characters? America with its fabulous Gravy Seals and the CIA and the rest of it? 

You wanna tell me that there's no way to bribe some North Koreans, or to pin-point this bunch of assholes and blow them to bits? That our hopes rest on some bitch named NIKKI grumping on TV? 

PS, the rest of the world leaders have done the equivalent of squeaking, "There will be a letter in The Times about this!" Everybody "condemns" what Un-the-Goon did? It's time to blow this beach ball up. Two words: 

KILL HIM.

If you've got to take out a few buildings, well, too fucking bad. You don't threaten the entire world and expect the entire world to say "We surrender."

Roasted Retard - Burning Man Dimwit Dies

Say, here's an idea for a GOOD time: go join 70,000 pagan-minded morons and take drugs and listen to shitty music and BUILD A BIG BONFIRE...and then run into it. 

And you thought ISIS cornered the market on backward, ignorant crazies. 

Sure, let's have more ridiculous superstition in the world, more dangerous rituals, more dumbass morons finding the cheapest of thrills.

Fer Chrissake, who the FUCK is excited by the sight of a fire? Neanderthals and pyromaniacs. Some children. And 70,000 shit-for-brains rock dopes? 

Doesn't it seem like Darwin was wrong? We're in the 21st century, but SOME people think that entertainment is doing with American Indian lunatics did a century ago: create a giant bonfire and whoop and take mushrooms. It's what religious nitwits in England did, at least according to "Wicker Man," a movie that concerns building a huge pagan creature and setting fire to it...maybe with somebody inside as a sacrifice.

JESUS, just when you think people can't get more stupid and backward, THEY DO. 

Obviously the jerk who ran into the fire was high. But is that an excuse? There are primitives who walk on fire as part of a ritual. There are lunatic Islam jerks who have died doing some "rite of fire" exercise, or burning some bitch for being a witch. 

There's NO excuse for having a fucking rock festival that involves setting fire to a gigantic figure, be it God, Devil or Roger Waters look-alike. You think the creeps who make money off this annual marshmallow-brain event will STOP? Never. Not till the world catches fire and burns up all the money, and themselves with it.

SHAUNA! Get on GooTube and HUFF & PUFF about THIS!!

Ohhhh, HOW COULD THEY! 

Those meanies have done a PARODY on the world's most powerful pop tart, TAYLOR SWIFT!

Hmmm, Taylor. This IS an interesting challenge for you. Do you go after them for using YOUR MUSIC? Your TRADEMARKED name? Your INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY?

Technically, you could win. You SHOULD win. "Parody" doesn't mean somebody can take your actual music and put porn photos over it. "Parody" would be if they got a Taylor sound-alike (oooooh, Shauna, we'll pay you a fiverrrrrr) to sing faked up lyrics. 

Come on, Taylor. DARE you to do something about it!!

My guess is.... 

TAYLOR SWIFT WILL IGNORE THIS. 

Her lawyer will say, "If we file a complaint, Jihad will spread the news all over the Net to get as many HITS as they can, before they take it down. IF they take it down. Better to PRETEND that you DON'T KNOW it exists.

Like the fake nudes on eBay you never stopped.