Viley Virus - Not at All

This may be mean, but at least it's not being SOLD on EBAY as REAL.

It's also not a fucking JIHAD site that makes fun of women and dares anyone to do anything about it.

They find some twat who looks like Viley, and have her pose like an idiot (ie, like Viley).

Surely, Viley's done worse, but is smart enough not to store them on her computer.

Disgusted by what passes for Amusement?

Hey Blackpool, HERE'S yer ILLUMINATIONS! Shine a light on THIS....

What do you say to a little fuck?

You say, "that was kind of short." 

What better way to celebrate the demise of Verne, who was once filmed drunkenly pissing, than to see him haplessly humping? 

Nice to know there are women who find somebody who isn't even three feet tall so appealing. Then again, his bank account was hefty.

It's called EASTER, Habib...

"Habib, you just do NOT understand...

"In the West, it's ok to make fun of your religious heroes. Christ or Moses, it's ALL hilarious. Now, Easter, if you don't know, has to do with Christ coming back from the dead. Naturally the Easter bunny and chocolate eggs and candy and over-eating and wearing silly parade hats and getting drunk...is part of the celebration. Christ's deaths is all about...The Easter Bunny. Christ's birth? Oh, that's about an obese bastard in a red suit urging people to over-eat and go bonkers over getting free shit.

"Here, take a look at some photos...

"Now you get it, Habib? Frankly, it would be nice if there was a mellow middle-ground between getting homicidal if somebody draws a Mohamed cartoon, and somehow relating Christ's resurrection to pulling twat lips. But hey, atheists don't get time off, and life on Earth is so miserable, all religious people live for is HOLIDAYS. YOU assholes have a whole fucking month of Ramming Dan, or whatever it is you do.

"Oh, sorry. Put the knife away. No offense intended. Just look at the photos. Jesus Fucking Christ. Hot bitches huh? Too bad your women are so damn ugly you put a bag over their entire bodies! I'm kidding...I'm kidding...have some jelly beans. All right, sure, you can dip them in hummus first..."

ALLAH-KAZAM. The Mayor of London makes it MURDER CITY

ALLAH BLIMEY! 

What GOOD news for London. They rival New York City...in MURDERS. 

It should be especially gratifying to the gun nuts out there, to see that London's done it WITHOUT the use of Saturday Night Specials. Knives seem to be the weapon of choice. Now, hmmm....WHO are known for carrying knives? What group has a history of loving their ornate SWORDS? What backward part of the world has very little history of gun use before the 20th Century?  

As is always the case, articles of this type are VERY discrete (or discreet) about what homicidal twats (rhymes with rats or pots) commit these crimes. Nobody is giving details as to whether this is white-on-white crime or brown-on-white crime or white-on-brown crime, and whether the demographic is Middle Eastern or North African lunatics, Jamaics or Pakis or "none of the above, boy-o, and let's have another beer and another chorus of 'Sweet Caroline.'" 

All we know, to quote the late Flip Wilson, is that "the cost of living keeps going up, while the odds of living keep going down." 

Well, that's what Daddy said

SHAUNA EASTER

Cilla Blackledge, just in time for the holidays, premieres her new discovery...
SHAUNA EASTER.

Says Cilla, "I wanted to do something special for this wonderful holiday. It's such a cheerful event. You see, God knocked up a Jewish bitch, then watched his bastard son have a tough time of it. He was considered a Jew, after all. So they crucified him, and God didn't help one little bit. 
"The Romans dumped the dead Jesus of Nazareth in a cave. Let's not get mad at the Romans. Let's pretend they were Jews. If we hate the Romans, we get no pizza. The good news:  ho ho ha ha hee hee, he got himself resurrected. I'm not sure if HE did it or his Daddy actually did. I stopped going to Catholic school after the nuns beat me too often. They get cranky if the candle shipment is late.
"So, Jesus swooped the Earth NEVER to be seen again. Except by some fanatic cranks who have seen him on their toast and swimming in their porridge. Easter celebrates either the resurrection and him fleeing the Earth, or the fact that when he fled the planet, he didn't take all the marshmallows, and now we have so many we can shape them like Eggs and Bunnies. Wheee! 
"Shauna Easter looks a bit like my old friend Shauna Cuntwell, but with normal sized eyes and a less goofy round face. Oh, she also actually HAS the top of her head intact. And isn't that shaved twat ADORABLE? Oh come let ye adore it...if you pay the going Sheffield price."