AWESOME Chiller - Without Bill Hoobastank??

The whereabouts of fat, gay, giddy Bill Hoobastank remain unknown. Is it POSSIBLE like Terry Beard, he is faking his death? Or he's dead? 

The pathetic librarian-turned-manager still hasn't posted photos of himself standing next to D-list nobodies at New Jersey's Big Convention of Losers. He may be declared legally dead. 

In the last known picture of him, Bill was looking grim, not his usual grimacingly grinning self. He had fallen ill, and had fallen down while on one of his customary graveyard sight-seeing trips. He threw up almost all of his Kentucky Fried Chicken lunch, which a cannibal-like pigeon began to eat it up on the spot. 

When last seen, he and the pigeon were fighting over it. 

Bill's lone client, Shauna Cuntwell, admits, "He really didn't do much for me, except gurgle and shit his nappies. He wouldn't return phone calls when he was screening "2001" every evening, or eating "authentic astronaut food," or fondling his 8x10 photos taken with Billy Mumy. Oh well, as they say, "Let Go and Let God." He may be in a better place. Anything outside New Jersey is a better place."

Indeed. Meanwhile, INSIDE New Jersey, the pathetic CHILLER show attracted a few last-minute non-entities. These "stars" you never heard of, were hoping to impress the absolute dregs of the world, and get $20 for autographed photos. What kind of retarded plumber, or autistic basement dweller would PAY for anything from THESE idiots? 

No normal person has heard of these three idiots. Gee, "BRIAN KNOBS" could ONLY show up Friday and Saturday. He had to be back at the mental home on Sunday? 

Other FREAKING AWESOME non-entities took to TWATTER, trying to get people to show up and BUY AN AUTOGRAPH:

Pity her, as her head is as waxy as a candle, and it warps easily. 

She's got big tits. And a bigger nose. Might be a transsexual. Jay became Sara Jay? Who knows. And did anyone care? How lonely and pathetic does a guy have to be, to be willing to swap $20 for the chance to stand at a table opposite THIS monster, and get a minute to talk to her? 

One of the more subtle TWATS to go on TWATTER was Natasha, who, after all, MAY be known to SOME people who once in a while enjoy a bad sci-fi movie. She simply posed with one of the morons-in-costume

Meanwhile, though BILL hasn't done it yet, some easily amused dimwits have gone online to showoff their fabulous SELFIE SOUVENIRS of people YOU have not heard of. Here are two retards who are impressed because somebody you never heard of is taller than they are. 

Did they EACH pay $20 for separate photos, or did they pool Mommy's lunch money, and plan to BUY one, and then SCAN a dupe copy??

Is it a surprise that both these douche-faced fools are wearing SOUVENIR shirts with somebody else's creativity on them? 

Below, who knows WHAT. Is this weirdo a would-be D-list "star?" Is he a comic book artist? Does he have his own table selling bootleg knock-offs of Batman memorabilia or something? 

He's really proud of himself, posing with two insane bimbo morons who are desperate to take $20 each off him.   

Love the guy's name? He's a legend in his own mind.  But this is what guys at CHILLER are all about: being able to brag about PAYING FOR IT. "Look at THIS photo of ME with..." somebody nobody cares about, and who STILL demands and gets money from a LOSER. 

Here's a proud retard standing next to a D-list retard. AWESOME. Just AWESOME. Jealous, ain't ya? Wish ya wuz there? 

That was the "REAL" Krummy Mush, or whoever. Accept no imitations. It takes so little to make a moron smile, right? This guy had the time of his life, meeting a jerk in a t-shirt with tattoos and a misshapen diagonal head. 

Literally a hundred sub-standard has-beens and unknowns had tables at the event, getting the chance to impress absolute losers. Here's a bunch of jerks who maybe made back the fee CHLLER charged for the tables. At least it gave them something to do for a weekend in New Jersey. (Yes, Sharp Eye, ONE of the tired-looking clods IS the drummer in Something Fudge. Brooker Fudge? Whitehorn Fudge? Huelbig Fudge?) 

Not EVERYBODY had a good time. A few women indulged their sci-fi fan boyfriends or husbands and went to the show. They HAD to go, needing to keep an eye on wayward guys who might do something insane like pay $100 to sniff Traci Lords while getting a little too close during a photo op. 

An Asian mail-order bride went to the show, because her idiot husband is into anime cartoons and collecting Godzilla action figures. While he was off trying to find 8x10's of Gamera the flame-throwing flying turtle, she had to fend off losers.  There was one in particular.