Nobel Prize? Go Make fun of the Jew. Ha! Dylan! Gabba Heyyyy

Oh, those HILARIOUS Tweeters.

They're imagining Bob Dylan giving a Nobel Prize acceptance speech and saying, "Blibbity jibbity." Or "Gabba Gabba Heyyyy Mr. Tambourine Man." 

They're laughing that Chubby Checker didn't get there first. They're rolling their eyes over how LYRICS are not LITERATURE or POETRY. They're seething because if we're talking about Jews, the older Philip Roth, now retired, should've gotten the Nobel instead.

Yeah, let's keep it effete. Let's make sure nobody gets the Nobel Prize unless he or she writes a book that has less than 1000 copies in print, or the author is about 30 years past the time when anybody saw his name on a best seller or cared if his name was on a Broadway marquee and critics were saying "you must see this play." 

Just what the FUCK is the Nobel Prize in Literature for, anyway? Must it always be given to someone part of the Academia Clique? Or to somebody black, or a woman,  or (Toni Morrison) a black woman? Does it always have to go to some fashionably EXOTIC and obscure author from some foreign land who needs to be TRANSLATED into English? Is it almost NEVER even given to somebody who writes a play that makes sense? NEVER given to a poet who makes sense? Is it such an outrage that the greatest living songwriter, who also has book credits, got it after 50 fucking years of being one of the most quotable men on Earth?? 

Take a random look at who else has won this fucker in the past 16 years! I seriously doubt the average person has EVER had ANYTHING to do with ANY of 'em besides Bob. And what did BOB do, exactly, besides turn LYRICS upside down? Before Bob how many lyrics were art, or poetry, or even thoughtful? How often did you listen to a song and wonder what it meant, or marvel at its imagery, or be moved to think about the human condition? 

Yes, hypocrite assholes, how many of the Nobel Prize winners since this rotten 21st Century began, have YOU actually read? How many have actually touched your lives? 

Have you idiots actually bothered to crack open the incredibly huge volume of Complete Lyrics and been blow away with how prolific the man is? Have you read CHRONICLES, or any interview with him that is loaded with challenging and witty remarks and observations? 

It disgusts me how the yahoos and asswipes come up with their lame Dylan impressions and their stupid jokes, and trivialize this award. 

I'm glad Dylan won it while he's still ambulatory. He's fucking 75 years old, and he had to wait because of Imre Kertesz and Elflriede Jelinek? Really? 

Too fucking bad, clique. You ruined poetry by making it a clique. You made art a laughing stock by embracing any faggot with connections and any pretentious partygoer who pulled the right strings to get gallery showings. You reduced the art of writing plays into a pompous game of guess-the-symbolism. FUCK you and your Mamet and your Pinter. FUCK you and your international list of windy and wearisome "literary" types that Hemingway would spit at for being dense, wordy and as idiotic as the Boko webmaster. 

The Nobel Prize is so fucking fantastic people are roaring with rage because a Jewish songwriter got it? Nobody was that pissed off that Rod Stewart became a knight. Is it because being a Sir in England is so devalued that every radical Islam cleric will probably be knighted in the next year or two? 

Are you all so thrilled with approval over whoever won the Oscar this year, or last? Is the winner of BAFTA sacred? How about the Tony Awards? Are any of these awards such Holy Grails that you really have to be so petty, jealous and stupid about the winner? 

Why weren't these people so upset when Bob got the Medal of Freedom or the Kennedy Honor? After all, it's the same "guy who can't sing, har har har." What's the deal: "Oh, the Nobel Prize in LITERATURE...now that's going TOO FAR..." 

So, 48 hours after Yom Kippur, the JEW gets the award, and all you can do is the sacrilege of trying to trivialize the honor and put the man down. FUCK YOU. And I hope Leonard Cohen wins it next year.