Yoko Ono Has tap-danced Away from Tim

When you think of vaudeville, you think of...Yoko Ono. Right?

You surely NEVER skipped over "I'm Your Angel" on the "Double Fantasy" album, did you?

What could be more amusing than a Japanese Betty Boop?

Some may be a little disgusted by an 80 year-old woman singing campy-gayish stuff, but those people we simply call...heterosexuals.

Put on your fairy wings and fly up to the cloud:

http://yopob.com/take-me-to-the-land-of-hell/11-leaving-tim/

Follow a long a little...

And pay attention to how harrowingly HAAH-ODD she pronounced the word "Hard."

The lyrics have a fairly banal rhyme scheme but seem pretty serious. The music and vocals, however, are quite lah-dee-dah, like a scene out of some Warhol movie where the drag queen puts on her best make-up (ineptly) and struts out of the apartment (manfully) while wearing some cinched-waist dress (painfully) and a flouncy hat (ridiculously) to go find a better life (seriously) not caring what anyone thinks (obviously).

Yoko is capable of good, normal singing. "Walking on Thin Ice" for example. "What a Bastard The World Is" for another. She's also succeeded in a wide range of styles, from the screaming (which worked on the track "Why" from her first album) to Euro-sex avant garde ("Kiss Kiss Kiss").

Yoko can also be CUTE (hear: "Who Has Seen the Wind"). But...you think this one might be...TOO cute?

The song begins with a count-off, "One two three four..." But I listened twice, and that's enough.

Voxindie knows: Google CHILLS Copyright Owners with Nasty Website

The Great Google...HATES to lose one penny on the piracy it allows.

It has openly declared "freedom" to include posting copyrighted material.

One of the worst things about this Nazi-Fascist bunch of megalomaniacs is that not only do they wait weeks before acting on a complaint, not only do the practically demand your blood by asking for all your personal contact information (while requiring NONE from the bloggers and other assholes they promote), they have the fucking nerve to make every DMCA complaint public via "Chilling Effects."

The Voxindie website knows all about it:

True. True. True.

People can use "Chilling Effects" to find STILL EXISTING blogs are GOOD PLACES TO STEAL MUSIC AND MOVIES and other copyrighted material.

Want a Freddie Mercury Queen album? Type it into The Great Google, along with "download" or "rapidshare." You're bound to get one of Google's Blogspot pages where some nice "sharer" has the album. If not, you'll see this shit:

A click takes you to "Chilling Effects," where they post the DMCA notice and a LONG LONG list of all the blogs and forums that had the illegal item...

Yummy yum! Now you have a whole list of new forums and blogs to visit. If they don't have the Queen item, they'll have thousands of other GOODIES. And surely one of them will re-up the offending item anyway.

Google is a huge company, the biggest monster on the Internet, and yet they can't be moral, they have to be bastards. People wondered why the Nazis had to kill women and children. Power is never enough. These are sociopaths. Businessmen are cold, nasty scum anyway, never giving the workers a raise unless there's a strike, never giving a day off unless it's unavoidable, and always keeping ALL the money they can, if only for the joy of squandering it on luxury items they don't need. So these Google monsters get off on seeing how far under their thumb they can squash everyone else, and when it's book companies, recording artists and movie studios...wow, what a thrill.

Google COULD make sure nobody gets a blog without signing up with a valid credit card and ID. They COULD take away a blog after several DMCA violations and put the offender on a blacklist. They COULD remove violations on time and block from their search engine any website that is nothing but a thieves den and has had multiple DMCA complaints. There's a lot they COULD do instead of turning copyright owners iknto the niggers of the world...slaves to GOOGLE.

Or should I say the eskimos of the world? Chilling effects, you know. Google could care less if an artist can't afford to live in anything but a fucking igloo.

Which would lead creepy Brin of Google to shrug and say, "Let them eat snow."

Sheryl Crow and some asshole with a feather in his hat

There are limitless ways for amusement to turn to disgust.

Like...a singer who has unsightly or obnoxious back-up singers or band members.

On Letterman's show, Sheryl Crow was pleasant-looking but bland, like the song she was singing. Under the best of circumstances, your eye might drift to see what else is going on. But one couldn't help doing it when her moronic bassist (and isn't it always the bassist with nothing better to do) had to dress up like a boob.

What's with the big stupid hat with the fucking feather in it? What's with the idiot words on the t-shirt?

Jeez, if you're part of the back-up band, BACK THE FUCK UP!

Why is it that rock groups have so many phony morons pretending to be cool? Why be the "hey, look at me, I gotta be part of a rock group, look how stupid I dress" guy?

Crow put together quite an unsightly bunch.

Can you name a favorite band where there's some repulsive goon you wish wasn't on lead guitar? Some clod behind the drums that should be replaced? Some attention-getting simpleton dancing around or grimacing or wearing a ridiculous outfit way different from everyone else, or showing off by gargantuan arm-swinging while plucking a simple note?

You can take your pick with Paul Simon's back-up group, which includes silly looking Africans in native garb, and a jerk who shifts from violin to bass elaborately miming like some silent film actor, while wearing dopey clothing and some kind of flip Samurai hairstyle piled on his dimwit dome. I think this guy has changed his name once or twice out of shame. At one point he was called Don Snow.

It's pretty sad when one member of a group is a clueless, attention-seeking clown (as opposed to just a clown, if you recall make-up wearing Zal Cleminson in the Alex Harvey band. Somehow that worked, to let people know this band was not to be taken too seriously).

What's REALLY sad is when it's not one member of the group...when pretentious stage antics are done by both a back-up singer and the lead. But I ain't naming names, Bruce and Little Steven...

Halloween Hollow Head

What kind of asshole blogger baby-head would post about having bought a fatty pumpkin flavored goo to drink?

Does Mommy know you have a blog, little boy?

When the fuck are you EVER going to grow up?

This idiot blog is all about...collecting horror memorablia, ad nauseum. Ooh, cereal boxes with "Count Chocula" on them! Oh boy, comic books!

And yes..."countdown to Halloween!" So let's collect anything about pumpkins...even a picture of a noxious calorie-filled pumpkin drink. YUM!!!

What kind of a blob idiot posts shit like this? Someone who is proud of looking like a fat stupid useless idiot and posts a picture to prove it:

Yeah, I'm REAL impressed you bought a Friday the 13th t-shirt on eBay.

You must be the envy of everybody at the Retard Day Camp you attend.

I know, better these misfits have this occupational therapy, remain lost in their nerdish fog, and get enough comments from like-minded losers that they don't become violent.

Live and let a "waste of space" waste his time in the candy aisle grabbing boxes of Frankenberry cereal and skull-shaped marshmallows...or pay $20 or $30 to Eddie Munster for his autograph at a memorabilia show. Somebody's making money off a jerk like this. It's also important to know that it's better he masturbate to 8x10's of Elvira rather than assault the neighbor's sheep dog.

But really...BLOG about this?

This is supposed to be entertainment? Interesting? Dig the TITLE of his blog. The exact OPPOSITE of what it actually is.

America's Got RINGERS - the fraud of AGT

"We're discovering new talent!"

"This is what America's Got Talent is all about!"

"It's amazing, in just a few shows, look at how you've grown as an artist!"

"You have a phenomenal voice...if you make an album I'll buy!"

These are some of the typical remarks the judges make...as they shill and lie and pretend that most of the finalists aren't already professionals! The sneaky question nobody ever addresses about Slimy Towell's "Got Talent" shows is just WHO is eligible and why. The British version, for example, had "The Regurgitator" on, a novelty act guy who swallows goldfish and coins and things and barfs them back up again. He's been on TV, at the Montreal "Just for Laughs" festival, and has been a touring act for a dozen years. The American version had comedian John Wing, a 40-something who has been on the comedy club circuit most of his life, and on TV as well. Ventriloquist and million-dollar winner Terry Fator was likewise, out there polishing and performing his act for a dozen years or more.

The show promotes itself as some kind of amateur hour, a show where people who always had a dream can just sign up, audition, and win a million dollars. What a promotion. Let's suspend our disbelief and disgust, right?

The three most impressive acts I saw on the show were Cami Bradley, Taylor Williamson and Kenichi Ibina. I sensed Kenich was a ringer, because he was doing elaborate dance routines involving back projection and technology...very expensive stuff. Sure enough...

The guy is a professional. He has a website. He's not even American...he came over from Japan to win this. Which he did.

The other two were new to me, and in the bio segments preceding their auditions, AGT made sure to present them as RANK AMATEURS. Cami was pictured as just a wife whose husband was urging her to give it a try. Nothing could be further from the truth. She has a website, and while competing...you could already buy a CD on iTunes! My idea of an amateur is someone who hasn't the money or connections to make an album yet. Taylor Williamson, a comedian with a nerdy persona, was not only funny every time he performed, but showed no fear of ad-libbing in front of the judges and bantering with them. Like a comedy club pro, Taylor picked on Heidi Klum the way he would a drunken ringsider, and decimated her with quick put-downs and embarrassing gags...pretending to be in love with her, making fun of ex-hubby Seal's name, etc. Taylor also had an iTunes album for sale at the time he was pretending to be an amateur, and his AGT bio didn't show him performing in comedy clubs, just at a deli in front of one or two people for a gag.

Yes, I kind of wondered how, with the enormous pressure, so many of these "amateurs" could perform so well. Cami Bradley had ALL the moves. A combo of Farrah Fawcett and Olivia Newton-John, she has a voice that requires years of performance and training to achieve, and she knows how to flirt, tease, put on the sexy stare, and then act humble. As Sam Spade used to say, "You're good...you're very good."

And yet, Howie Mandel sat there in awe, talking about how she's an "angel..." a budding "Superstar." As if she materialized out of nowhere, a humble, scared housewife unsure of herself. Oh, bullshit! This girl looked like a pro the minute she sat at the piano, the second she tilted her eyes wickedly at the camera, going from innocence to lurid allure like a seasoned porn star. Part of the "magic" for me as a viewer, was being seduced into thinking this was a virgin performer...somebody at the same level as Marty Brown, a country singer who was tricked into showing up at the audition by his wife and signed up only because she insisted. Marty, incidentally, cracked under the pressure, missed some notes, was off key, and barely made it the next round.

Is it fair that Cami Bradley and Marty Brown were competing on the same stage in the first place? It's one thing for an "amateur" to maybe have had many years performing in churches and schools...and another to have spent years taking lessons and practicing if not actually performing anywhere...and ANOTHER to be a PROFESSIONAL.

You might remember the case of Jim Thorpe, a Native American who had his Olympic medals taken away after it was discovered he had played semi-pro ball for a few dollars. That happened back in the early days of the last century (he died in 1953). It was questionable that he had his medals taken, because playing football for a few dollars doesn't have much to do with competing as a runner. Now? Now the fucking Olympics allows Serena Williams to compete! How does allowing professional basketball and hockey teams jibe with the spirit of the Olympics as not-for-profit, as a place where amateurs, college students...get together in the spirit of sportsmanship and fair play?

Another Top 12 guy, Branden James, played the gay card, as did quite a few other contestants. He was another of those, "I'm gay, and my parents don't approve, but I'll be strong..." types. Whatever. He sang in that shitty pseudo-opera Broadway music-crap style...and did "The Impossible Dream" as well. But unlike another "gay guy who sings opera," who was fat and nerdy and tearful and scared because he WAS an amateur, this fucking Branden James guy turns out to be a full time pro, faking it as a humble amateur. He has a pro website which notes:

"The California native has become increasingly sought after on the worldwide stage in the concert arena and opera house alike. His career has taken him now to more than 20 countries, professionally. Branden trained at The San Francisco Conservatory of Music in California and further held private studies in New York City. He has performed as a soloist with many major American symphony orchestras and has sung most notably with Los Angeles Opera, The Metropolitan Opera at Lincoln Center in New York City and at Lyric Opera of Chicago.

A regular soloist for the Los Angeles Lakers, Mr. James has had the honor of singing the National Anthem for scores of celebrities, dignitaries and fans at the world renowned Staples Center. As a recording artist, Mr. James can be heard on the soundtrack for the film REPO-OPERA starring Sarah Brightman and Paris Hilton and is recorded on Decca Records as The Magi on internationally acclaimed composer David Conte’s award winning opera, The Gift of The Magi. He is also recorded on the 2013 release, Zelda re-orchestrated."

A pro, and he was fake-sobbing at every audition about how he hopes he can continue his "journey?" Every time he advanced, he promised to "do better" and told all the gays watching, "don't give up on your dream..." Yeah? His dream has already been fulfilled. He's a full-time performer with a long resume. Yet he and AGT and the judges were tricking people into thinking he was just some love-deprived amateur who somehow has a fantastic voice and gosh, maybe if he wins, he'll be able to get on stage somewher.

This guy was such a fake. As the judges burbled and squealed and did the usual "we've discovered greatness" and "you're on your way to fulfilling your dream" crap...he just soaked it up with an arrogant smirk. I had a feeling he was not what he was pretending to be...an amateur with no training, just hoping to be accepted by his family and to hold his head up high for having taken a chance on stage.

The best judge the show's ever had, Howard Stern (Piers Morgan finishes second) would often burst a bubble, tell an honest truth, or be tactfully neutral ("You did your best...you gave it your all..."). But I didn't hear him say to a Cami Bradley or a Branden James, "Your years of singing lessons have paid off..." or even "This show will give you national exposure which you deserve after headlining locally and putting out a few indie albums..." It was always the fakery of "That's what our show does...we DISCOVER TALENT." But not like the amateur talent shows of old.

So many times the judges said, "You keep improving, stepping up your game..." like in a few weeks these contestants magically transformed? No, it took years for a Bradley or a James to get to the polished level. It wasn't "learning as you go." What a fucking arrogant devious prick this Branden James was. When he was finally eliminated, he was hardly crushed. No, because he was just going to go back to his paid gigs. So he smirked, told everyone not go give up on their dreams, and snickered about getting home "to my partner Billy." Like he suddenly had gay pride all due to the ovations he received from naive audience members who thought he was a brave newcomer fighting nerves and insecurity and amateur doubts.

I didn't check on any of the performers till after the finals were done. I wondered, hmm...does Cami have a site? Will Taylor put out an album? Are my suspicions about Kenichi justified? And, to quote John Lennon, I..."I FOUND OUT." And I say to AGT, "JUST GIMME SOME TRUTH!"

But they wouldn't dare. It's "entertainment" after all. It's the gray zone between reality TV and total fiction.

I just don't think it's very fair that real amateurs have to compete...and lose...to the pros.

On the positive side, the voting at least, wasn't totally nauseating and predictable. The irritating Branden James didn't make it to the Top 6, and the obnoxious trio FORTE, who also specialized in shitty familiar opera arias and lame Broadway show tunes, finished fourth. Taylor Williamson finished a surprising second to Kenichi Ibina, which may have reflected how strongly judges Howie Mandel and Howard Stern screamed and railed against singers winning the competition, and how Taylor, and Kenichi, were much more original. Ironically last year's final two were also...a professional full time comedian, and the winner, a professional trick dog act that had been in business for years.

America's got...con artists. P.T. Barnum great-grandchildren. Slimy Towell for a producer, wiping up the profits with an extremely slick and undeniably hyper and fast-paced show. It's entertaining...but it's also...DISGUSTING. Unless you suspend your disbelief.

BLOB Dylan - Lay Lady Lesbian Legally (So What)

Am I glad to see Bob Dylan in the news, instead of Viley Virus?

It ain't me, babe. I'm a bit disgusted that the news is not really about Bob.

It's about his ugly blob daughter from his totally obscure 2nd marriage to one of his back-up singers.

She's "getting married" and ooh, a) she's LESBIAN b) she's BLACK and c) she's Dylan's daughter. A trifecta of WHO THE FUCK CARES?

No, I haven't kept up with how often Bob's been secretly married and I don't think even the dopiest professor could add to the already tedious canon of Dylanology by trying to interpret song lyrics that might relate to this.

All that comes to mind regarding Bob's periodic fascination with black women is in "Precious Angel," where, after a rather carnal line, "You’re the queen of my flesh, girl, you’re my woman, you’re my delight," he drops something about "you know our forefathers were slaves" and how the two of them are moving "On the way out of Egypt" (him) through Ethiopia (her), to the judgment hall of Christ."

So what's the fucking point? The media, run by Liberals (fine with me) never stops hammering at the fucking GAY and LESBIAN agenda (getting boring to me). Their main concern isn't the economy, isn't global warming, isn't the fucking Muslim lunatics mass-killing people everywhere...but making sure every scrawny faggot and big fat dyke can get MARRIED. Ooooh, kissy kissy, prezzie prezzie, special special DAY-O. MARRIED.

Who knows, maybe somebody in the media is fat, black and very ugly, and just wants the world to see that even somebody with three strikes can score a fairly acceptable mate. (Maybe having the last name DYLAN would help.)

The headline for the photo you see was basically: WILL BOB ATTEND HIS LESBIAN DAUGHTER'S WEDDING??

The fact is, the fat ugly blob didn't even set a date yet! They didn't ask her the last time she spoke to her Bobby-Daddy, or if she understands that he's on a never-ending tour (to avoid shit like this). All the reporter got was that the date is NEXT AUGUST and the blob's bride's mother doubts that Bob would show, but doesn't say why. The why, would be obvious; Bob is unpredictable and very busy.

So it's faintly amusing to see that another of Bob's adult children grew up to be a fat blob. Maybe more than one. (I recall hearing from a guy close to BOb about one the sons who had a job in Bob's office because he was useless, talentless and obese and couldn't get a job elsewhere.) But it's disgusting that this news piece ain't really a news piece.

What happened to news editors? Someone should've said "this story isn't complete. I won't run it till you do your job as a reporter...ask questions and answer them!"

If I have a choice between a photo of idiot ding-a-ling Viley Virus sticking her tongue out yet again (she keeps doing it) or one that lets me know that one of Dylan's six children is a fat black blob...maybe the third option is to just avoid the news entirely, and only check the weather report. Although, you don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows...

The Bitch has Balls? One, anyway

What do stupid people do for entertainment? Go to a stadium and ROOT for their TEAM.

All over the "civilized" world, sweaty dirt-poor idiots waste money to make jocks and cynical club owners filthy rich. Wow, the Muenster Cheeses vs the Minster Beer Bellies...let's spend money that we don't have, or that could make for a present for a loved one, or just be saved for an emergency. Let's bawl and scream and let off steam. And DAMN anyone else, even a little kid!

What's going on here? Rather than show you the typical yobbo-chav moron, here's the new face of bad behavior: the Kris Jenner bitch.

Women are now more obnoxious than men: Kris Jenner and her hen club, Miley, Amanda Bynes...they are leading the way.

Between innings, as the outfielders were refreshing themselves tossing a ball around and staying loose, a little girl came to the railing hoping for a souvenir. Sure enough, as game was about to resume, a player tossed the ball carefully up to her, and she caught it, trying to hold onto it by cradling it in her little hands.

The Kris Jenner lookalike snatched it away. Literally, like a big school bully deliberately grabbing away a toy or a doll. Then she's shamelessly high-fiving her drunken friends.

This woman no doubt learned from TV and movies and Miley and Jenner and the rest...that it's ME first, it's ENTITLEMENT, and that bad behavior is admirable and acceptable.

The incident, caught on live TV, "went viral," perhaps making a few Google YouTube dollars for whoever illegally posted it. It turns out that the team, aware of what had happened, made sure to give the little girl a souvenir ball before she left the stadium. No security guard demanded the bully just give the original ball back.

But you know the good ol' Internet. As soon as the story hit the Net, the "let's get her" brigade went to work...the bully bitch's identity was quickly revealed, and at the very least, she had to scuttle her Facebook page before the world found out everything they could about her so that Internet vigilantes could "have some fun" and properly harass her for the rest of her life.

A happy ending? Hardly. It just reinforces that this is the new morality...be an Internet hacker and vigilante. Bad behavior is ok if it's for a good cause, and who decides if it's a good cause? Assange does. Anonymous does. Hans Demented or Seniormole or whatever blogger or forum asshole needing an excuse to do as he or she pleases.

Human nature, huh?

Let's not nip it in the bud by fining Google, protecting copyright, or in this case kicking a bitch out of a stadium for stealing a little girl's baseball. Let's choose the unhealthier options of ignore or, if angry enough, take vengeance.

Interesting how some people spend their time...in the loud, smelly social swamp of a stadium, or in the quiet, sinister cesspool of social media. Either way, we are learning new lessons in how to be dumb; in how to be selfish and malicious.

It won't be long before competitive food eating is part of the Olympics...and there will be awards for Best Hacking, Best Twerk, and Best Bullying on Facebook (lightweight, 6 to 10 years old, middleweight, 11 to 17, and heavyweight, 18 and over), and lots more.

Oh yes, and there will be one of those "Celebrity Deaths" tribute montages, like you see on the Academy Awards, showing the faces of all the victims of "Best Mass Murder Of the Year," with the award going to the poor, misunderstood killer who was saved from the death penalty and given the front page of Rolling Stone...where he (or she, a Kris Jenner lookalike most likely) poses with the gold-plated rifle-shaped statue.

The Internet's Fascist Brat is FIFTEEN Years Old

The latest Gargle Doody, er, Google Doodle, from the world's biggest EAT SHIT evil empire, celebrates...itself.

The company's having a birthday. Which is hard to do with something that wasn't born, or hatched, but more likely plotted, like an assassination. Don't tell ME this fucking company is a Libra.

The auspicious 15th birthday for this soulless tween brat, this alloy of greed and power, this "take over the world" little monster, has been marked in many ways. A fairly balanced report is here:

I've edited it down a bit, as it continues on and on.

Yeah, like Hitler, like Kim Dotcom, like Hans Demented and so many others, the waters get muddy. Deliberately so. Google is SO helpful...you can find things on a map, you can hoist to YouTube or steal from it, and you can have a rant blog or worse (much worse, one that gives away everybody else's copyrighted work). And, of course you can "Google" stuff. So what if they are collecting BIG BROTHER data, huh? So what if the company offices are more like Scientology outposts shrouded in secrecy and with outrageous perks to the most Fascistic bastards and uber-greedheads. So what if the CEOs have proven to be immoral scumbags. So what if they deliberately play games in every court of law and with every DMCA, and all the rest of it. Google is SO fucking CUTE and SO helpful. EVERYBODY loves GOOGLE.

Wonder when they'll turn around and charge me for the blog "or we will shut it down." Or they start charging a subscription to use their search engine, or a flat $10 a month fee for YouTube access. Think it won't happen? I've seen it happen with so many "nice" Internet companies.

Paypal, when I joined, declared it would NEVER charge a fee to me, because "we make our money off the interest..." Yeah. And I used to have websites at Geocities. And I had some long-established e-mail accounts where the company suddenly said, "We are going to charge..." What? But we like FREEEEEEE! Why are you changing the rules?

Nobody, speculating on the future of GOOGLE, denies that they will continue to lie, cheat, steal, abuse copyright, bully every country on the planet, and use their lawyers to block or stall anything but the weakest slaps on the wrist.

THANKS FOR THE WARNING

One of my pet hates about newspaper websites...is how often they shock and nauseate by showing pictures I do NOT want to see.

Bad enough the news is almost always either the disaster of a bombing or shooting, or the disaster of hearing more about Miley or one of the Kunt-Douchians.

But these fucking photos of freaks of nature, victims of shrapnel fire or acid, or animals attacking each other...come on. Put a "warning, graphic content" on it, a click-link, and once you hit that button, get a prompt, "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO SEE THIS DISGUSTING SHIT?"

Don't do THIS...you fucked up fucks...

Why warn me about "graphic content" when you're SHOWING IT? No, I really don't want to see scare stories about misfit heroin or meth-addicted assholes. Not being one of 'em, and knowing 90% are hopeless dumbass morons better off dead, I don't care what they look like. Let 'em rot.

Why post this shit so I can see it? I don't take heroin. You want to warn addicts to be careful, fine. Do it this way: "Anyone doing Heroin in Arizona...click this link and see disgusting photos of some loser who bought the wrong crap. So be careful. Unless...you're so stupid and addicted you don't care what you look like."

STUPID CUNTS AT THE PARIS FASHION SHOW

The third day of "fashion week" in Paris saw a pair of feminists storm a catwalk half-naked to shriek about obnoxious fashions that "sexualize" women.

The fashionistas were furious. The feminists were furious.

And I say, let's get together on this:

You feminists and fashionistas ARE ALL CUNTS. Stupid cunts.

Both sides are wrong.

In this picture you see the feminist morons picking on one of the FEW models who is wearing a normal, tasteful outfit! That's how stupid they are! They couldn't wait and pounce at some sullen-looking bitch in a freakish outfit some homo made her wear? What's wrong with THIS garment? It's modest with no cleavage showing, it's attractive, and it's not overtly sexual. A woman can wear it on the street and get a few admiring stares (which she wants) but it doesn't say "SLUT." In other words, Miley wouldn't wear it. It could be made in any size, so a woman needn't be anorexic to fit into it.

By contrast, the two idiots causing the pussy riot are "sexualizing" themselves by having to go topless to get attention. They probably wear make-up every day, get their nails done, try and dress hip and sexy...and they shave their arm pits. Are these hypocrites really going to tell the world they don't take the usual cunty hour to get dressed for a Saturday night date? They don't own a single bottle of perfume or nail polish and own no lingerie?

They're from FEMEN, who do shrill wussy antics like showing up at Versace with banners reading "Fashion = Fascism" or "Fashion = Anorexia." Hey cunts, take a look at the fat blobs waddling out of Lane Bryant and Wal-Mart. These slobs are buying "fashions," and no Fascist is putting a gun to their head to buy what they want to buy. You want everybody to dress like women do in Red China? Whatever YOU fucked up feminists are wearing...came from designers. Whether the label says Pierre Cardin or Old Navy it's still fashion, and we all buy our clothes because of how they look, and the name on the label (since any "name" from Perry Ellis to L.L. Bean to The Gap tells as much about the durability and quality of the fabric as the price tag.)

. So why not do something less CUNTY than showing up at a Heidi Klum German fashion show with tummies stenciled with words like "Heidi Horror Picture Show."

The fashionistas? Bunch of stupid cunts, without question. These fashion shows are designed to "outrage" with mostly idiot garments only freakish rich people wear to decadent events and awards shows. We all know that these shows are just to gain attention for the normal, mainstream shit these companies sell to department stores.

It's just unfortunate that freaky fashion week shows have proliferated and to fill a newspaper, this pointless shit is "news."

Feminists and fashionistas: BOTH FUCKED UP. Why? Because women are cunts. They lost their way in the late 60's and early 70's when Gloria Steinem and others urged them to reject fashion, and when John Lennon told them not to paint their face and dance. But...women ARE sexual, as ruled by their cunts as men are by their dicks, and they want to lure the best looking and richest guy they can...by cheating with sexy fashion. Is it really a secret why Victoria's Secret became such a powerhouse company?

When the hippies became Yuppies, women realized that they better dye their hair, do their nails, wear attractive clothes, paint their faces, and do everything possible to compete with the other bitches. Just go to any party and see the catty women stare at each other with looks of envy, hate or disgust. It's all about "hmmm, YOU are wearing too-much make-up you tart, and YOU are looking slutty in that low-cut blouse, and YOU dyed your hair blonde...why didn't I think of that!"

The cliche solution is "go naked," which was the visual punchline to one satirical movie about the fashion industry. BUT...going naked IS sexual because God, the ultimate fashion designer, thought it would be a good idea for women to have huge boobs and butts and lot of curves, even though none of those things is essential. So, God dammit, go protest to the original manufacturer.

Halloween - OOH, OOH, Can HARDLY WAIT. (NOT)

Yes, it's a MONTH away, but supermarkets and drug stores are loaded with Halloween garbage...those bad novelty candies, dopey decorations and other BUY BUY bullshit.

One of the usual suspects in blogland has actually set up a SECOND blog JUST to hoist the same tired "slaylists" (ha ha ha, haven't heard that term before) of old novelty singles that are no longer a novelty.

This geezer is actually wetting his pants over Halloween and COUNTING THE DAYS. Yes, like a fucking six-year old. COUNTING THE DAYS...

Yeah, "ghouls just wanna have fun." But, in the term popularized by Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

Sad. We know from many more infamous retired fools, blogs are quite the playground for second-childhood geezers with nothing better to do. Posting stupid out of print music is a fairly benign form of inane dronery, but at least this guy does stick to out of print. Much more insane is that ADULTS dress up for and take over what should be a KIDDIE holiday.

When I was a kid, Halloween was KID stuff. No Halloween parade in Greenwich Village. No Halloween stores set up JUST to hawk expensive costumes. No adults dressing up and throwing parties for themselves; the adults were home answering the fucking door and giving candy to the kids. Halloween had not yet become one of the biggest commercial holidays...just behind Christmas.

Now? Now so-called adults are COUNTING THE DAYS to when they can compete with each other dressing up in drag, as monsters, or nearly naked except for a plastic Miley mask.

It's pretty rare when Mexico is intellectually ahead of us in any way, but their similar holiday is NOT about candy, IS aimed at adults primarily, and consists mostly of people in skeleton costumes because it's an event that gives us pause to remember and deal with the past...and the ultimate grim future.

This blogger's a benign bozo and he just wants to have a good time...but a little of this shit spreads a long way on the toilet paper of life. With so many bloggers and so many stores in the real world piling the crap on, it's Halloween overkill. Hacky corny attempts to be funny or spooky are just boring and annoying. Setting up a second blog JUST to re-post old crap?? And make such a big deal to the point of counting the days? ZZzzz. And the only way anyone even knows about it is if they're old geezers into 78's and Christian hymn music and have visited his other one.

At least the guy writes about the lame spooky-tunes on his way to providing the link. He'd be quite the ghoul if he said "Not to be missed, entire Jethro Tull discography! Leave me a NICE comment." And he'd really be a zombie if instead of respecting the artists he wrote: "these songs did not chart" or "I do not know anything about these songs" or "Oh dear, my dog Muffin laid a turd-muffin on my head while I was sleeping so I not only can't make a shit-for-brains post today, I was late for the boot sale..."

SEAN CONNERY: LICENSE TO GO TO A MUSEUM

How DOES this network of pestiness work? A retired movie star goes to a museum, and somehow, a photo agency photographer is RIGHT THERE when he's on his way out. What was the lag time? The stalking time?

It's enough to make most anyone paranoid, but at 83, Sean Connery is obviously used to it, and mellow about it.

"Can I take your picture, MR. CONNERY, a quick snapshot?

Wonder what flashed through Sean's mind: "Glad to know I'm still a star" or "Is the caption going to make fun of my age? My hat?"

No, they'll make fun of your waistband not being buttoned.

As this IS the Libra time of year, I have mixed feelings about stuff like this. It's kind of stupid and annoying that paps are out there doing this, and obnoxious that a celeb must be paranoid about stepping out looking anything but perfectly groomed. But if you're a fan, it's nice to know the guy's alive and well, and perhaps even world-weary Mr. Connery likes to know he's still a star and newsworthy.

If you go to the Met Museum now and then, you can look at this and think, "Hey, I could've been there...thanks to this pap I didn't miss much. I probably wouldn't have recognized him, and would not have the nerve to take a photo even if I had a camera with me...so this is nice to see."

Keeping a respectful distance, taking a picture and going away? Sort of okay. Making a big deal about how he's 83 and his pants aren't on right...sort of tacky.

Cookies and OJ - it's just TOO CUTE

Most have forgotten that O.J. Simpson was found guilty (in the civil trial) of nearly decapitating two people.

That's the power of celebrity. From his dubious goofing in "Naked Gun" movies to his joking around on the golf course (while he was looking for "the real killers") to his tasteless attempts at selling documentaries and "if I did it" books...the guy has remained "likable."

It's almost like he's got a publicist to keep planting stories about him. Cute fat pudgy O.J., stealing cookies. The inmates laugh. Let's all laugh.

It's strange, isn't it, that evil deeds and grotesque behavior can be accepted with a smile and even admiration. That's the power of celebrity. Manson? He gets fan letters every day. There are blogs celebrating him. People wear his face as a t-shirt, as they do with Che Guevara. Miley. Kim. The swastika symbol. There's so little fear and loathing anymore. The longer you stay in the spotlight, the more your picture is in the paper, the cuter you get. The instant reaction to a nauseating pork swine like Kim Jung-Un might be disgust, but at this point we've seen him and, hey, he's kind of cute, isn't he? Cute and silly looking. Like he should be a double-act with William Hung. So what if he put his ex-girlfriend in front of a firing squad.

I'm sure that when O.J. gets out even earlier than expected...which could involve some pardon, or loophole...he'd walk around enjoying smiles: "Hey, there's OJ Simpson!" The murderer? No, the FAMOUS MAN, with the FRIENDLY FACE.

And yes, while he's munching on some cookies, he might sign a few autographs.

It's Official: KRIS JENNER IS A BITCH

KRIS JENNER IS A BITCH.

"Someone’s got to speak out," says Joe Odom, father of crack-head Lamar, who is married to the ugliest of the Kardashians.

How...ugly...is KHLOE? Ugly enough to be name-checked in an Eminem rap song:

"All I know is I fell asleep and woke up in that Monte Carlo with the ugly Kardashian. Lamar, oh sorry yo, we done both set the bar low."

Joe blames Lamar's drug use on the Kardashians. It's hard not to believe that being part of that circus didn't help drive the guy to drugs.

Joe: "It’s simple. They brought him down. I can’t really say if the Kardashians are doing drugs...I can’t pinpoint right now who’s giving it him, but...The Kardashians haven’t been a good influence on my son. They don’t give a fuck about my son. It’s more about the damage...to the Kardashian brand. They brought him down. He’d be better off without them. Let him go, get his life together. I wish he had never got married to Khloe to be honest. She’s controlling. Those Kardashian women all are. You get married they think they wear the pants...."

"I saw her totally differently when I heard the way she talked privately. It isn’t pleasant. In public she’s nice, but if you see her personally you see the real person come out of her. The mother’s like that too. The whole family, they put up an act."

"The mother has been talking a lot of trash about my son, saying he’s on drugs and stuff like that. She’s got something against my son, something against my family. Kris Jenner is very negative. She’s an evil bitch. She doesn’t care about Lamar, she just cares about their image and money." As for the bitch who started it all, Kim Kunt-douchian and the sex tape that made her a star:

"I heard Kim say they don’t have crackheads in their family. That pissed me off. Look at where she came from. We don’t want porno stars in our family."

Joe, we don't want BAD porno stars becoming media darlings, getting their own shows, and being obnoxious skanks instead of role models. I question why the fuck "the media," which for so many years set the bar HIGH when it came to what was "fit to print," now grovels at the feet of "reality show" assholes, useless "famous for being famous" cunts, and any addled nitwit who behaves badly in public.

It's hard not to get caught up in this sticky shit...Miley, Kim, Paris, Amanda. Why am I even writing about these turds? Because their stink continues to waft in my direction. I can't open a newspaper or check a news website without seeing their idiot faces. They are rewarded every time they do something obnoxious.

What the world needs is a serial flusher...some real Robin Hood to take from the bitch and take from the whore...break into the home of each of these dimwits, shove her head in the toilet for a full 60 seconds, and then say, "Listen shit head, one more wardrobe malfunction, one more sex tape, one more stupid remark...and I come back and flush you completely down the tubes."

Oh, and I suppose you think fat-ass Kim is too BIG to go down the drains? Well let me tell you....

Luckiest Brit Kid Ever + Let's All Read the Koran

Since our world is built on song lyrics and movie references, I'll say this story is right out of "The Wizard of Oz."

Only instead of Dorothy of Kansas standing up to a very bad witch, and a menacing lion, and other mythical menaces...this is about little Elliott of England, standing up to an armed Somali murderer in a Nairobi shopping mall.

His words? "You're a bad man! Let us LEAVE!"

The kid's lucky they weren't finding pieces of him as far away as Libya, Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire.

A lot of kids died during the cowardly Somali siege over the past few days.

The bloodbath was intended to purge Christians from shopping in a mall and helping the local economy.

Who needs 'em, bringing trade and good will...the nerve!

These Christians are good-hearted decent people. They came to a nation most of us wouldn't visit for free as tourists, or for a six figure salary as a worker.

Fortunately not every recruit in that bloodbath had no mercy or decency.

There were several incidents where women and children were spared, and one, similar in theme to Elliott's story, in which a killer let a bleeding mother and her kids go if she promised to convert to Islam. She said, right, I'll be on it (soon as I stop bleeding!). She was escorted to safety and her kids handed chocolate bars.

Meanwhile, people all over the world are shivering at the thought of yet ANOTHER group of Muslim maniacs going nuts, the "Al shabab" sect ready to go sh-boom (there's your music reference). In addition to Arab maniacs blowing themselves up, now it's Somali maniacs? Yes, and there are plenty of 'em peppered all over the world. The unlikely state of Minnesota, good ol' USA, harbors some 100,000 Somalis. How they over-shot New York, New Jersey or Chicago I have no idea. The Somalis came to get somolions (a slang term for money they learned on the plane). Just why the USA needs 100,000 Somalis in Minnesota isn't quite clear, given the already high unemployment rate. But sure enough, what a surprise, not ALL of the Somalis have found work, not even at the Mall of America, and many joined al-shabab. Some even managed to get a flight from Minnesota to Kenya to participate in the mall murders.

What's the answer to crazed gunmen opening fire? "OW." Followed by dead silence in most cases. BUT...if there's a situation as with Elliott, where one comes face to feces-face, you've got to make the moment count. So, read The Koran! Take a break from "Shades of Grey" and "Harry Potter." Supposedly the radical Islam assholes think Mohammed is THE guy, and THE religion, and heathens should DIE. But if you read The Koran, you'll find passages urging tolerance, and peace, so find a passage you can copy off and keep with you. Keep it in your wallet. If the Koran words don't work, a bribe might.

Until you download your Koran, you might print out this little chunk from Wikipedia!

"Here, Lunatic...Mohammed knew all about Jesus, all about Moses...quoted them, considered them prophets...so how about live and let live, instead of (JAMES BOND STING) LIVE AND LET DIE!"

I know, we have so much to do besides having to read the fucking Koran, or deal with religious fanatics, but reality has impinged on our world of "Wizard of Oz" and James Bond movies and songs by The Crewcuts (or The Chords, both sang "Sh-Boom") and Paul McCartney, who learned a little something about African terrorism when he was recording "Band on the Run."

Never a Day Without Kunt-Douchian News

We'd find her a lot more easily if she changed her account to REPUGNANT SKANK

Newscaster's Mugging...Just a Homo Homeless Tiff

A broadcaster at "All News" radio station WINS was reported mugged. Afternoon man Brian Carey was found with a broken jaw and his wallet stolen. Considering he lives in a low-crime area, with high traffic, this was not only bad news for Carey, but disturbing for anyone in the neighborhood.

How disgusting that he might not even be able to give the news for months, till his jaw healed. Worse, the radio station, like so many these days, doesn't have a big talent pool when it comes to the simple tasking of reading news copy. His replacement would likely be a Valley Girl bitch with an abrasive whine, to grindingly nasal male, or a heavily accented ethnic.

WINS also has commercial interruptions every two minutes, with even more abrasive "pay attention to my voice" assholes, ones hawking window replacement or hair replacement or who knows what's next, toupees for bald window sills -- some kind of Chia Pet deal.

Pity turns muttering "false alarm, what's WRONG with you!" It turns out Carey was NOT an innocent victim of a frightening random attack. He's just a moron who has a thing for homeless black guys. It's a "Looking for chocolate covered Mr. Goodbar," gay edition. Too bad about Carey's broken jaw, but when he takes back this lunatic who probably hates getting sucked off by white guys just for pizza or a place to sleep, the back door will do.

EBAY CEO JOHN DONAHOE : SEX PERVERT or CLUELESS DICKHEAD?

Here's John Donahoe, the pasty-faced 50-something CEO of eBay, giving a boring interview to a business reporter...

But what's the truth?

John Donahoe is either a sex pervert who needs a rubber dick to play with...or a clueless dickhead.

When you go to Best Buy, Tesco, Macy's, Walgreen's...do you see sex dolls on display? Rubber cocks? Ridiculous latex sleeves with a vaginal opening?

No. That shit belongs in the adult bookstore, and you know just where to find one.

Ebay, aping the real world on line, actually HAS an "adult bookstore" on its site. In the category "everything else," there's a link to "adults only" material. That secret door then allows you to surf for the latest porn DVD, for hardcore magazines, and for bondage paraphernalia and all the rest of it. The idea, at one time anyway, was that a teenager couldn't type in "100 Cumshots" and buy a DVD. And a little old lady checking the "Doll" category wouldn't see a picture of a mouth-open rubber sex doll for sale. That crap could only be typed in and found once you were IN the "adults only" area.

In fact, eBay has a rule: "sexual" products must be posted in the "adults only" area. An exception? "Sex toys."

Like this:

Ebay, in helping provide amusement, figures something like THIS, which couldn't possibly be displayed in any reputable shop, is perfect for the world's biggest auction website?

CEO John Donahoe is either a greedy motherfucker (and spends his afternoons fucking his mother with one of these), a sex pervert (he fucks himself with one of these) or a clueless dickhead (which IS one of these).

One Picture is Worth a Thousand Death Wishes

Just die.

JUST FUCKIN' DIE

Where's the Muslim maniac with a bomb when you need one?

This picture tells you THERE IS NO GOD.

THERE IS NO FUTURE FOR MANKIND.

Viley Virus not only with KARDASHIANS, but JENNERS...it's like AIDS and then SARS.

The only thing that will restore my faith would be if someone shoves a grenade in Miley's mouth, up her cunt, into her asshole, and she explodes.

AND...that the Kardashian bitches are dumb enough to stand around giggling and watching, and get blown up, too.

PS...

It HAS to be death. Gouging out one of her eyes wouldn't stop her. It HAS to be death.

Please DIE, Miley Cyrus. Hey Mohammed Allah, you fucker, get one of your camel-smelling urine-faced loonies on this, NOW.

The Band, Beach Boys & Beatles...oh boy oh bore

The World is Saved!

There's NEW product on the dead groups The Band, The Beach Boys, and The Beatles. Probably on The Dead, too, but I'm not into dumpster diving.

Can you stand any better news?

Peter Gabriel, who hasn't been able to come up with anything since Kate Bush told him not to give up...has issued yet another live album. Just to prove he's alive.

Can you stand even better news?

Those new albums from Elton John, Paul McCartney, Cher, Rod Stewart and Elvis Costello (among others). Just to prove they're alive.

Right...the new Jimmy Webb. Like anyone ever bought the old Jimmy Webb! Sorry...I like the guy. I actually have almost all his albums. But I don't think many can say that they own even one. The new one is...yeah...that other dodge...the "duets" deal. The aging singer brings in other aging singers, and they re-hash the greatest hits that weren't meant to be duets in the first place. I'll give him credit, some of it is interesting to hear, at least once. Like, poor Art Garfunkel now almost a baritone, leading Webb to adjust the melody of "Macarthur Park" with Webb ending up singing the high notes. "Oh no! Ohhh no!" Yes, it's so. Poor Art.

Can I hear those fossils from The Who singing..."We won't be fooled again..."

No, we won't. Because we have illegal downloads from Google's Blogspot squad, and the secret forums, and the brazen torrents. So, if we LIKE it we'll BUY it. But not likely. If any of the above shit (ok, just call the Beatles BBC stuff "stuff") actually hits the Billboard charts, it'll be due to some affluent Yuppies grabbing it off iTunes, or buying just to keep the "collection" complete.

No, no, I won't repeat, yet again, any lyrics from Randy Newman's "I'm Dead But I Don't Know It."

I understand how hard it is to let go. We all wish we were back in a time when Elton John records were fun...and even at times, pseudo-profound on the ballads. We wish we were still under the magical spell of Peter Gabriel and thrilling to his songs of paranoia, fear and a search for sanity. We wish we were back in the days when Elvis Costello was refreshing rock and making us feel like music still had the capacity to lead us into new directions. We wish we were back in the days of thinking we just might find our own Maggie Mae to teach us sexual tricks like she did Rod Stewart...instead of maybe being an old trick instead. We wish we were back in the days when we only thought the new Paul McCartney album would suck. Know we know it will.

At best, the new Elvis Costello is like meeting up with an old middle-aged friend you haven't seen in a while. Oh, holding up. Not repeating himself. Looking like himself. A little fatter. Very predictable. But still not ready for the old folks home.

Then there's the strange Glen Campbell album from last year...the guy trying, ala Warren Zevon, to complete one last farewell and not embarrass himself. And he didn't. Nice going. So now they've got a Fall release on him? Yep...they took the outtakes, the warm-ups, his versions of his older tunes...and cobbled together yet another FINAL album...with the threat that there might be a "live album" to be pulled together when he's on his death bed, or right after he dies. Shit, they think he's another Johnny Cash cash cow?

Mostly, hearing an album from a very aging artist is not like meeting an old classmate who is hanging in there, or a cousin who is doing ok...it's like visiting your grandmother at the old folks home. The new Elton John is like that. Ugh. Do I have to sit through all of this? Do I have to listen to this semi-coherent babble? The whining dirge-like yammer? The oh so familiar phrases? Oh, kill me now!

As for The Band? Who the fuck cares anymore. Really. The first two albums were great. Some of the songs are still great. Get over it. Going into the vaults for live shows...it's usually the same songs done the same way. If not, the difference is a lot of assholes shouting WOO, and there may be a lousy cover version of something, and maybe an extended drum or guitar solo you don't need.

The Beatles at the BBC? We've all been there. We've got all that. We don't listen to it. If they ever put out "Hollywood Bowl" we wouldn't care, either. It's over. They blew it. They could've had a series like Dylan's "official bootlegs," and said, "OK, this is shit, but if you want it, here it is..." and every year or two kept the interest alive by issuing alternate takes, Let it Be session cover versions, whatever. Now? Anyone really think people under 30 give a shit? They don't. And people over that age have this crap via bootlegs, don't have disposable income anymore, or have other interests like just staying alive. Certainly playing music is a low priority now that there's so much more "entertainment" out there, with video games and Facebook and sexting and hundreds of cable channels.

It's pretty sad that the great Fall line-up, the biggies for the first "buying" wave are so lame. Yes, this is the record label "first wave," grabbing the "back to school" vibe. Then they stop because we've got to waste our money on Halloween. Then they start in around mid-November to release that "second wave" of albums we're supposed to buy for Christmas gifts.

Too bad our old favorites are dead or letting us down. So we get feeble new studio albums from those who are ambulatory. We get live greatest hits and "live concert" albums for the dead bands. And we get clunked on the head by five or six CD sets from half-dead assholes like The Beach Boys...who have released God Only Knows what shit lately...rehashing whatever pretentious and faggoty nonsense Van Dyke Parks produced for them, whatever gooey harmonics latent homosexuals from Holland want to cry about, and whatever's been lying congealed in a can like expired suntan oil.

Isn't it time people understand the Beach Boys were never competition for The Beatles? Not the American Beatles? NOT very good? They were just the sun-tanned Four Seasons. They wrote and performed a handful of "good time" stupid songs ("Help Me Rhonda" "California Girls" among them), recycled "Barbara Ann" (my father knew the writer) and that's it. They were upscale Paul Revere and the Raiders. "Pet Sounds" is not "Sgt. Pepper." And let's repeat the word FAGGOTY. These Grandsons of the Pioneers were just a little too fey in the studio. Grown men harmonizing together is very queer and doesn't work too often. After one "Tumbling Tumbleweeds" you wonder which pioneers were bending over for the others. Same with some of those awful Beach Boys album tracks. Oh...yeah, "In my Room" was ok, and the mewly "Don't Go near the wahhh-ter." But come on, five and six CD sets of this shit? Just to convince people America had their own supergroup like "The Beatles?" No. No country on Earth had a group like The Beatles. England didn't even have another like them...just a rival rock and roll band called the Rolling Stones. Everything else...Kinks, Who, whoever...on a rung well down the ladder...with a huge gap that basically says "no, you can't climb up to rival The Beatles. Forget it.

So what can we do? We can look here and there for some indie and niche artists who are in our groove. We can always hope that some 60's or 70's star puts out an album that isn't too bad or might have two or three good songs (Dylan is pretty good about it...Ray Davies, Loudon Wainwright, Randy Newman and Leonard Cohen aren't likely to ever truly disappoint their fans...). We can hope that some act we sort of paid attention to once (like Robin Trower, Bryan Ferry or Marianne Faithfull) might put out a record that sort of sounds ok. Maybe a few tracks have some of the old magic. We can always listen to the OLD albums and usually find some new facets to admire (you will wear out a lot of Dylan and Beatles before you've gotten all you can get out of them). Or you can go watch a movie. Or...vague possibility, be amused and entertained by live companionship.

British Rail FAIL Copperbox Arena SAUNDERS vs RYDER

"As we get on towards one o'clock," in the morning, the announcer was saying, it was time for SAUNDERS vs RYDER, the main event of the night.

The announcer paused to explain the reason there were empty seats at the Copper Box Arena. He told TV viewers, that this wasn't because people didn't want to see the main event...it's that they couldn't! They had to rush to catch THE LAST TRAIN AVAILABLE or be stranded for the night!

Ridiculous. Paying customers who support a live event...having to miss it, or stay home and watch on TV...because Great Britain's not so great when it comes to train service.

This meant that all fans got for their money was Dereck Chisora (finally in decent shape, and behaving himself) taking the European title against Edmund Gerber. Gerber gave Chisora a tremendous bash in the head that could've ended it in the 4th, but by the end of the 5th, he was gassed and taking a beating on the ropes.

Fans should've then been able to see the main event, Saunders vs Ryder. But no...they had to go rushing away to catch a fucking train!

Granted, the long stinker of a fight between Frankie Gaven and David Barnes went the full distance. Also granted, the promoters should have pushed up the Saunders vs Ryder fight rather than waste time with "Gorgeous Georgie" Kean's debut. Kean's patsy opponent won 1 fight and lost 34...so guess who went the distance for four rounds to a victory?

But really, when people go out for a Saturday night's entertainment, they shouldn't have to be glancing at the watch like they're going to turn into pumpkins at midnight.

We're told to use mass transit, for the economy and the ecology. So, Cameron and the rest of you pea brains...why not supply a few more trains???

Who are bigger crooks? TY WARNER or TIME WARNER?

Ty Warner is a rich bastard. He's one of those scumbag weasels, one of those obnoxious greedheads, who can't EVER have enough money to waste.

There are philanthropists. There are people with a conscience like Mayor Mike Bloomberg of New York. And then there's carny scum like Ty Warner, who made his fortune with fucking BEANIE BABIES...forcing poor parents to waste their money on useless "collectible" garbage that now isn't worth a buck on eBay. You can't say NO to a child, as slimy Ty knew, and so he kept on making more...more..more.

Collect the set. No, we just made a few MORE. Buy MORE of these fucking BEANIE BABIES...

Ty Warner gloated as he slithered to the bank. And he also made sure to hide money from the taxman.

This megalomaniac dirtbag...he could be respected and beloved. Imagine if he paid his fucking taxes on the money he hid. He'd still have plenty...more than anyone would be able to use. You get to this level of wealth and what the fuck are you doing? Buying homes in three or four cities? Wasting money on expensive cars that need constant repairs? Buying $100,000 gold-plated toilets? This asshole could've funded a school (or two, or three), or helped out legitimate and worthy people struggling against fate (for example, the Boston Marathon victims who lost limbs and have no medical insurance).

No. People like this don't want to be liked. They want to be feared. Envied. They think they'll live forever if they have all the money. Mike Bloomberg ran for mayor because he thought he could do a good job, and he did. He also put his money behind causes that ignorant people couldn't even understand...like his unpopular views on gun control, or his belief that people should understand the health risks of sugary soft drinks and be reminded by having to waddle back to the counter for a second helping, rather than buy a fucking 32 ounce giant cup of the junk.

But Ty Warner? Looks like the typical psychotic "businessman," a sociopath, a pure evil monster, every bit as hideous as the rapist and the murderer. Guys like this LOVE to cheat, LOVE to abuse, and LOVE to get wealthy when it costs everyone else. He's in that scummy 1 percent with the hedge fund warthogs, and the bankers, and the mortgage brokers and the real estate shits...all of them grinning every time they score a crooked deal, hoodwink someone into signing complicated forms that make for a bad investment, or put people at their mercy in trusting them. All so they can go to a tittie bar and shove $100 into some whore's g-string, or get the $1000 front row ticket to see BROOOOSE in concert, or travel down to Bermuda for the weekend and come back with a show-off tan and simper with sloe-eyes and an asshole grin ala Paris Hilton.

What's Ty Warner done? Peddled utterly worthless shit to children...cynically created an empire built on COLLECTING crap and working mindless brats into a frenzy that forces their parents to suffer and deny themselves because the child won't and can't understand why "I want, I want" is not granted instantly.

What's it done? It's just built a new generation of ME-FIRST monsters, of soulless creeps who have an insane sense of "entitlement," and you see it all over the Internet where they pirate the movies, bully their classmates, and engage in other extremes of selfishness.

Ty Warner probably has bought enough politicians to make sure he gets no jail time. It's a bit surprising he even is paying any kind of fines. He really should talk to the Fascist Nazi scum of Google to check where he went wrong.

Or, he can check with the greedhead hemorrhoid biters of Time Warner, who keep their heads up everyone's asses and chomp away like piranha. You can NEVER pay enough if you're unfortunate enough to be a Time Warner customer. They often have monopolies in major cities, and in buildings. If you don't pay the incredibly high price for Time Warner, you get no cable TV...the best you can do is buy a contraption that will let you get an old-fashioned signal from the basic stations (NBC, ABC, CBS etc.) that you always got with an antenna. Who wants that? Time Warner even tried to keep people from watching CBS and David Letterman...arrogantly shutting off the channel and, in a mocking display of chutzpah, "as a courtesy" sticking a kiddie-movie channel in its place. Bean-counting bastards of Time Warner, whose crimes are too extensive to even list here...vs Beanie Babie bastard Ty Warner. It's a tie, and it should be around their fucking necks.

NRA ECSTATIC: CHICAGO KILLINGS! WHEE! KENYA BEAT THAT?

Didn't I tell you? September 17th, I said we'll have more mass-killings just like the one in Washington D.C., and the NRA would be happy if it happened every week.

Well, not a week has gone by, and here we are, September 21 and ho ho, ha ha, hee hee, 3 dead in Chicago because some asshole with an assault weapon decided to open fire on a schoolyard basketball game.

Assault weapons are a wonderful import item. Gun-running is big business. The NRA is helping to protect both American AND European gun manufacturers. So as fast as you can say GLOCK GLOCK BOOM BOOM...here's a goodie from the wonderful nation of our President's Daddy-o: KENYA

Ah, Black Muslims...not of the Muhammad Ali variety. Muhammad only tried to knock out a guy in a sporting match, under rules, and with a referee. What fun is that?

Especially if you can be hit in return?

No, much better to have your automatic weapon, spray the crowd, kill and wound dozens, and either walk away, or kill yourself and be proclaimed a martyr...with maybe a few sore losers (and limb losers) muttering, "that guy hijacked a fine religion." Or, "that poor person must've been very angry."

These two incidents, plus the Washington D.C., helps even up the score of black crazies and white crazies. The last couple of high-profile incidents were white (the school children killed in Connecticut, the movie theater shooting in Colorado) and a light-skinned cutie-pie from Schmuckistan in the former Putinville area of Russia, who joined his older brother in killing and maiming defenseless people watching a marathon race of friends and relatives.

Now, the NRA would tell you, the answer is MORE GUNS. The minute the bombs went off, if everyone was armed (or hadn't lost their arms) they could've started shooting at whoever and whatever they thought caused it. Same thing in the darkened movie theater. Bam bam bam! Just shoot! Just because, for example, cops in Times Square, trained with weapons, shot a bunch of innocent people during a scuffle with a felon, doesn't mean the average guy is going to kill THAT many innocent people in a pressure situation. As for the school kids in Connecticut...oh well, you can't quite trust a ten year-old with a weapon, but what the fuck, just hire a guard for every classroom. Get the kids used to the 21st Century where everyone is watched and anyone could be offed at any minute. And don't let 'em know how easy it is for a crazy with an assault rifle to get the drop on most any guard, and then keep firing till his ammunition runs out. And most pack enough ammo to last all afternoon.

Chicago now the murder capitol of the USA? Nudging out Detroit where people can't afford to buy illegal weapons? Africa trying to reclaim the "crazy from the heat, religious assholes and savages" from the Middle East? It's ALL GOOD if you're a member of the NRA!

Fuck Kerry Washington & idiot PEOPLE

Who the fuck is Kerry Washington?

She's nobody important. She was chosen "Best Dressed" for wearing ultra-expensive (and free) garments to bullshit publicity events. And for being black, which always helps. You can bet the fags at the PEOPLE rag were sitting around saying, "Oh, we can't give it to Gwyneth. Besides, she's yesterday's news. Who's newer? Who's black?"

Jesus, what's with that mustard number she's wearing on the right? THAT is a sign of being well dressed? I'd call it a nauseating show-off schmatta. Are you even looking at the woman? Where's the line between being "well dressed" and just being a walking mannequin for some fag lunatic fashionista asshole? Most of them hate women, and it shows.

So Kerry Washington gets a little extra publicity for herself, and this stupid, stupid PEOPLE magazine gets some added ink from all the leech newspapers that need something to print and don't want to pay anything. Sure, just pretend being voted "best dressed" in PEOPLE is newsworthy, then use all the photos (FAIR USE, FREEEEE USE).

You know what?

It's no fucking trick to be an actress going to an event, and getting to wear FREE designer clothes, fitted immaculately, in return for being able to tell fags who are shouting "Who are you wearing" who you are wearing. Or, who're you're wearing, to use the shorthand.

FUCK YOU, Kerry, though it's not your fault you got the honor. You didn't exactly campaign for it.

A bigger FUCK YOU to PEOPLE, the magazine nobody subscribes to except dentists who need something for their office. Why not choose some ordinary person (you're PEOPLE aren't you, not CELEBRiTIES) via write-ins from friends and family? As in, "Dear People, my teacher, who makes a shit salary, always dresses nicely, and coordinates her skirts and blouses so you don't realize she doesn't really have a lot of different clothes, just different ways of wearing them..."

How about going into the file of paparazzi pest-pix, and finding a dozen shots of Gwyneth or Kerry or whoever, just walking down the street, NOT trying to be noticed? The woman who isn't always walking around in ripped jeans, or with her bra strap showing, or her bra through her blouse...make HER a "best dressed" winner. It takes no great talent for a Kerry Washington to go to the fashion designer, get fitted up, then go to her stylist for her make-up, and then prance about for a photo op. I mean, not everybody is Bjork, showing up in a fucking dead swan outfit. Oh, PS to Bjork. DUCK YOU.

ASHTON KUTCHER IS AN ASSHOLE (or don't we know that already)

Just more proof of what an asshole Ashton Kutcher is.

If you attend Jewish services on a Friday night or Saturday morning as a guest...if you attend a Jewish funeral...WHAT DO YOU WEAR AS A SIGN OF RESPECT?

Everybody gathering to mourn the rabbi is wearing a yarmulke.

Except for one schmuck.

He didn't know? He didn't care? He's such a fan of his fucking TEAM that he couldn't take off the stupid baseball cap?

You can bet the "B" on it isn't for Bar Mitzvah.

Being such a big star, nobody dared tell him to be a little more respectful?

He didn't notice that EVERY OTHER MAN was wearing a yarmulke? Maybe he asked Mila Kunis, "Do you think wearing a white yarmulke would make my head look fat?"

And she had to answer honestly: "Yes, Ashton, even more of a fat-head than usual."

SNARKY PHOTO FUN : THAT'S BORIS BECKER?

To judge from his head, former tennis star Boris has taken up ballooning.

Devadip-shit Carlos Santana Car Crash

He got drowsy listening to a very boring song that everybody's heard way too much: OYE COMO VA.

Viley Virus : Even Skanks Don't Like Her! CHER and PINK

You remember Cher? Or her ass? No, not Sonny. Her tattooed rump, which she revealed via a see-through dress. She's worn many an odd costume to gain attention.

You remember Pink? The woman who had men drinking Pepto Bismol to stop the image of her face and body causing them diarrhea? The woman famous for her garish hair and pin-cushion face?

Well, both of them are disgusted by attention-starved Miley Cyrus and her continuing campaign of excess.

Miley's followed her obnoxious twerking bullshit with a nude video for her new album, endless babble over breaking up with her stubble-faced whoever-he-is boytoy, and constant interviews in which she claims she's just just a kid and/or she's now a woman and/or she's a woman behaving like a kid and she can't help being a fuck-up. Or...

The woman even had a man/woman complain, The Bride of Furnish himself, Elton John. He calls her "a meltdown waiting to happen...who is going to stop her?"

Pink: "People can like it if they want I'm not going to buy it." Right, Pink. Besides, ALL music should be FREE! Especially the new Elton and Macca albums. Elvis Costello? His has gotten him some of his best reviews.

Cher, by the way, is out promoting her new album. Will it get good reviews from anyone who isn't gay?

One thing you have to say for her, she sings better than Miley, and maybe for some...she's even sexier. Cher IS a pro, and that's the main thing that pissed her off about Miley: "She could have come out naked, and if she'd just rocked the house, I would have said, 'You go, girl.' It just wasn't done well. She can't dance, her body looked like hell, the song wasn't great, one cheek was hanging out. And, chick, don't stick out your tongue if it's coated."

A parting shot from Cher: "If you're going to go that far, then think about it before you do it."

Yeah, I added the "caption" to the photo. It was the only way to make the image tolerable. I'd like to grab that stupid bint's tongue and pull it down like a window shade and have it snap into her fucking uvula and make her permanently sound like Rod Stewart.

Catsimiditis the Blobfish - Growls at Google

His last name was hard to pronounce. "Just call me CATS," the campaign leaflets said.

How about Blobfish? When NYC voters got a good look at the billionaire running to replace billionaire Mike Bloomberg, most laughed.

John Catsimiditis is an easy name to remember really, if you think of it more as "Cats on my Titties." He made his fortune running a chain of rather dirty-looking and high-priced supermarkets. He branched out into real estate, always a good idea, and other fat-cat ventures. You have to admit, the pious (Greek Orthodox) guy who grew up in Harlem with nothing, IS a success. He insisted that like Bloomberg, if he had the skills to make and keep his huge fortune, he could run a city.

Just on face alone, he was the funniest thing about the mayoral primaries (which have ended with the sobering fact that it'll be Lhota vs De Blasio battling each other till the election in November. Mayor Bloomberg is not endorsing either.)

While there were plenty of Wiener jokes aimed at the crotchety congressman who was wanking via texts and phone calls, there was nothing very funny about it. Pardon the digression, but for those who don't know, Anthony Weiner was one of the few (among 9) candidates who actually had a platform, and had printed out a document of all of his ideas and proposals for the city. His comeback from resigning after accidentally Tweeting a crotch shot to one of his sexting partners (the guy is married to an Arab) was unlikely but successful. Until...opportunist-whore "Sydney Leathers" refreshed the scandal and cost him the election just so she could get her 15 minutes of fame.

She also got breast implants, invaded New York to haunt any place Weiner was campaigning to promote a softcore porn-stream she made, and told anyone who wasn't busy with a Kardashian that she hoped for a big career as a porn star. She primped and preened and posed and gloated...which was a far cry from when she first grabbed headlines claiming to be heartbroken that he didn't love her and just liked phone sex. It turned out, she was hooking lots of influential guys with free phone sex hoping for a payoff with somebody rich or famous. Unfortunately by the time people found out the truth on Ms. Leathers, they were turned off completely to Wiener for lying about swearing off sexting and phone sex after his resignation. It turned out, he couldn't stop "cold jerky," and from leading in the polls, he ended up finishing nearly last.

Back to Cats...

Well, voters just saw a coarse-looking rich guy trying to buy an election. "Cats on my Titties" finished out of the money.

Now that "Cats" has lost, he's got his lawyers to whine to Google about a YouTube video and demand to know who posted it.

Uh, "Cats on my Titties," you are dealing with Cunts and Assholes, and you don't have more money than they do!

First off, let's use the defense of hackers and Assange. Assuming the YouTube video said anything libelous, so what! Call it "freedom of speech." Call it, as the pfishers who steal your bank or Rapidshare account do: a "spoof." Assange would tell you that anybody can leak anything and let the public choose to believe it or not. Oh yes, and the Swedish meatballs of Pirate Bay, and the jerky bloggers who give away entire Beach Boys and Jethro Tull discographies, would simply say "Don't ruin our fun!"

A good lawyer would seriously say, "Mr. Titties...you can't milk this. What are your damages? You can't show up in court claiming a video nobody saw cost you the election!" But that's a good lawyer...and there are few of them. Most are glad to take your money no matter how foolish your case, and pile up the billing hours

Mr. Titties was amusing, if rather disgusting to look at. He's still amusing in one way. He's going to prove that no matter how much money a private citizen has, it doesn't matter to Google and their empire. It takes a pretty violent and hateful personal attack via a Blogspot blog to get Google to even take it down, much less spill a number and not a name (ie, the number that could lead to the perp's ISP, who in turn might not turn over a name, just shrug that it was a "spoof" account).

Same deal on YouTube. At best, the item is pulled. And it hasn't been. Go prove that the remarks are libelous, go prove your trademark has been violated...go file a DMCA and have it rejected.

Most of what was on the YouTube video seems to be true. Mr. Titties is pretty dumb to call attention to it, as it confirms what most believe...that no "Fat Cat" gets to be a billionaire without dirty tricks, cutting corners, playing hardball, or bullying his employees. I mean, in his supermarkets a "sale price" on an item is often still higher than his competition!

Bottom line, I think he should now muscle in on the territory of the Larry Flynt Hustler "Gentleman's Club" and "Flashdancers" and other lap dancer scam joints around town. Start a chain of "Cats on my Titties" bars. The girls dance while holding a pussy cat. For $200 you go into a private room and she takes away that cat and shows her pussy. Meanwhile you buy her a bottle of champagne that they charge your credit card another $500 for. And if you authorize another $1,000 for a tip, the girl might lap up a little cream. Hopefully yours, and not the past-expiration overpriced pint you might find at the Fat Cat's supermarket.