They used to run moronic redneck commercials where somebody would holler "YAH....HOOOOO!"
The idea, I guess was to equate their Internet company with "Mountain Dew," another hyped-up and essentially useless product. One dangerous to your health.
YAHOO was at one time such a success it tried to rival eBay with an auction-your-crap site. No more. YAHOO was at one time a place to get a free e-mail account that might not crash every other day or be inundated with spam. No more. YAHOO was the place where you could get your own free website, having taken over Geocities, one of the pioneers in letting the ordinary Internet geek become an obnoxious pest and pseudo-celebrity. No more.
YAHOO actually sent notices to all those loyal Geocities folk, telling them they had maybe six months to take down their stuff and find a new home. Why? Oh, it just wasn't economically "viable" to keep the freebie site going, even with banner ads.
And now? Some rat-bitch is the CEO of YAHOO and the magic show of bravado has been ratcheted up ever since. The game of impressing Silicon-heads, and duping venture-capital geeks, and having slimeballs invest other peoples' money in foolishness...reached a YAH-WHO-THE-HELL-ARE-YOU-FOOLING crescendo the other day.
Yahoo spent a BILLION dollars to buy something called TUMBLR, an illiterate college drop-out's toy that people are hailing as a cross between Facebook and Twitter. Really? Why wasn't it called ASS-TWIT? That's pretty much a cross between Facebook and Twitter, too.
Some 200 MILLION will go to the jerk who founded TUMBLR. Really. It's that easy to make back 200 MILLION off trendy websites that rely on the attention span of maggot-brained brats? Ever hear of MY SPACE?
Yahoo will make back another 800 MILLION off human insects who spend their lives burping the word APP over and over?
A BILLION DOLLARS to be made back when it'll be oh so easy for Google to start up a competing version, or for Facebook or Twitter to just putter a few APP-APP-APPs to take away any remaining novelty with TUMBLR?
And who the hell has all this time to waste on what we all know is a miserable alloy of danger and futility? TUMBLR could, at any time, be hacked by anyone from the Pez Dispenser robots of LulzSec to the devious monsters of Communist China, sending millions of foolish brats running around in circles crying 'My identity was just stolen.' Which is a sad miscalculation, because if you're an avid idiot on FACEBOOK or TWITTER or TUMBLR you HAVE no identity. You HAVE no personality. It's just your brains that were stolen. Or more accurately, rotted by all the time you wasted with your APP APP APP nonsense and your petty, trivial, idiot postings of what you ate at McDonalds and what stupid Bieber or GaGa song you illegally downloaded.
YAHOO rolled the tumblr dice...something even GOOGLE thought wasn't worth doing, and to them a billion dollars is pocket change.
YAHOO's stock didn't bounce higher or lower on the great news. That's a pretty good indication that even the weasels of Wall Street have a sense of ennui about these yawn-producing "bombastic" announcements.
YAHOO thinks they've shook up the world. They've just taken a TUMBL....
May this be the beginning of their end. And that the only time you'll EVER hear the stupid word "YAHOO" is when a redneck orders a Mountain Dew.
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