Copyright is 100% Copy Wrong (except for a Basket Case)

Here's Happy Basket Case, the privileged primping princess. The flat-chested ant eater and part-time "young Joan," is threatening to cover NEW SONGS.

Happily, if she does, and she up-chucks them to GooTube, she can keep ALL the "monetization" money. That is, if she reaches whatever the minimum is (like 1,000 or 5,000 hits. Ha ha). 

A lamebrain bitch uses somebody's music (and not even with permission) and she's ok. She gets 100% of the profits.

If you make an elaborate music video (100% of the visuals being original) GooTube says, "The music isn't yours. So we will give 100% of the royalties to the music owner. You get NOTHING for your hard work." 

What if you created a home movie of the ten minutes you spent in Grimsby before you fled for your life? If you add five seconds of John singing "You better run for your life if you can," whoops, you lose 100% of your royalties. Less than 1% of the video has MacLen product but they still get 100% of the royalties. 

Interesting, isn't it? An organist went to court, pointing out he wrote 30% of a hit song. The judge said, right, you now get 30% of the royalties.  If the Great God Google was the judge, he would've been told FUCK and OFF.   

GooTube is too big to bother with percentages. You can't file an appeal and say, "Look, I only used FIVE SECONDS of copyrighted music on my 10 minute video, can at least get HALF the fucking monetization money?" NO!

Here's what you get from GooTube:

Yes, Basket Case can cover a song and GooTube won't demand she register what she did with the publisher, and create an account with them and send them royalty statements. 

Yet anyone using an actual recording automatically forfeits ALL royalties. NO SPLIT.

With big corporations controlling the Internet, who said life is fair? 

Here's To You, Fuzzy Muzzie

And the reason for yet another Muslim rampage of violence? Poor Diddums didn't feel "safe" getting down on his knees in the middle of a college campus to face Mecca. 

Sounds logical, doesn't it? If you're a paranoid Somali Muslim, get into your car and ram as many white college kids as you can, and then get out and start slashing them. 

Some religious groups have been persecuted for two thousand years. Wear a yarmulke and see the kind of abuse you get. Put on a cross in a Muslim country and see if you get burned down along with your church. 

The big shrug is, "Oh, he was just a crazy guy." As if religious fanatics aren't ALL crazy. As if it makes sense to advocate murdering a cartoonist for drawing Mohammad. 

The good news is that this idiot was shot down and killed, and apparently all his victims will survive. That we know the "motive" isn't such good news, because it was no "motive" at all. 

The irony is that it would be on a college campus that one usually finds the most tolerance, and the most people saying, "The Muslims are misunderstood. Immigration is wonderful. Islam is a fine, fine religion." College kids seeing Abdul bowing down and yowling insanely to Allah...they'd ignore it in fear of their lives. But he was too much of a religious fanatic to care.

After all, here's somebody from a shitty country full of pirates and savages, who gets to come live in a community LOADED with his kind, and gets to go to college...and he's STILL bitching and moaning and unsatisfied.  And homicidal. 

Un-Funny Aussie ADAM ROZENBACHS - "What a CUNT You Are"

Did you hear the one about the Australian asshole who made a sick joke about one of Brazil's most heartbreaking tragedies?

Some guy named ADAM ROZENBACHS went on Twitter to show how clever he is. He's, uh, a self-described "stand up comedian. Broadcaster. Actor?" He has a PODCAST. Ooooooh, isn't that the ultimate sign of a success? Being one of the millions to have a fucking PODCAST? 

When he heard about the crash of a plane that killed 75 people, including most members of a Brazilian soccer team, this PODCASTER about Aussie football couldn't wait to make a joke out of it. Except he forgot that a JOKE is supposed to make you LAUGH or at least SMILE.

Over here, where sick humor abounds, the crime of egotistical turd-head Adam Rozenbachs is that it wasn't a joke. "You're not FUNNY, I tell you, You're NOT FUNNY!" Sapristi! 

Amid the blood and the smoke and the carnage, the survivors (there were 6 alive, 75 dead) were crying "Penalty! Penalty!" 

That was the BEST you could come up with? 

It reminds me of when some fop said to Cyrano (Jose Ferrer), "Your nose is a bit LARGE." To which Cyrano sneered,  "you don't have an ounce of wit to color your discourse." And a while later, he ran a sword through the jerk's guts. 

"Penalty! Penalty!" 

What an insult to comedians everywhere. It's one thing to have a sick sense of humor, but THIS guy doesn't even HAVE a sense of humor. 

Consider the death of Abraham Lincoln, which spawned a number of jokes. They were in bad taste even 100 years later, but they were at least identifiable as jokes. After Abe was shot, he turned to Mary and said, "You and your damned theater parties!" After he died, someone said to Mary, "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?" 

Funny? Not funny? At least you could recognize those lines as legit attempts at humor. Somebody took a moment to try and come up with something that MIGHT get a laugh. 

"Penalty! Penalty!" penis-head Adam? No wonder people on Twitter don't even call you a Dick head. They call you a CUNT. 

The best Adam could do after his dopey line blew up in his face, was shrug and Tweet: "Didn't realise the gravity of the situation. Lesson learned." 

I think THAT Tweet makes him more punchable than the first one. "Lesson learned?" No, not until somebody ties you down, sport, and has you anally raped by a kangaroo. Or Rolf Harris. 

A fucking plane goes down and kills dozens and dozens of people, and he "didn't realise" the gravity of the situation? GRAVITY, asshole. When a plane falls from the sky, it's generally NOT a laughing matter. 

Why didn't you save this brilliant line for your fucking PODCAST, ay? 

If you're wondering, the jerk's PODCAST is co-hosted by several other morons, all of them guffawing and bawling about the AFL, which I ass-ume is the Australian Football League. Yeah, the podcasters look like a real bright bunch of shit-breath hooligan drunks.

As to what religion "Adam Rozenbachs" might be...I won't even speculate. It seems like it would only make things worse. A certain tribe is hated enough without THIS. 

At Least She's Not Swallowing

That's our Shauna, just looking off to the side, eyeing the line of guyyyyyssss, each one holding a fiver.  

Another Victory for Fanboy Pests

When a stupid forum goes under, either because nobody's paying for it, or it got a takedown demand for being illegal, or the membership dwindled to nearly nobody, most people shrug.

They move on with their lives. That is, if they HAVE lives. 

A certain French Butterfly forum quietly flittered into oblivion, and finally, it's twisted sister site also disappeared. Not a bang and not even a whimper. Jerky Jon's site also faded away after bouncing from server to server, ultimately disappearing because some fool who was paying the bandwidth dropped dead. 

But some people don't give up. They are beyond childish and veer into being malicious. Remember that guy who, along with 120 other morons, wanted to spend his life talking about Hobbits and Robby the Robot and Time Tunnel and whatever other fucking idiocy was on his teeny mind? The chat forum was owned by some guy who had a stroke. SO...one of the mods decided to badger his wife. Over and over. 

When last we heard, he had the fucking bratty nerve to not only bother the woman AND her grown son, but tell everyone on his mailing list to torment her, too. Oh, but be polite. 

Every fucking day, the ex-members of the forum got more of this guy's "desperate" plans, rages and weird ideas...

Moments later: 

And the same fucking day: 

Yeah, this fucking forum is the MOST IMPORTANT THING in this NERD-DWEEB's life. Forget that the woman's husband had a stroke. He's "DESPERATE." She's RUINING HIS FUN. There are people who HAVE to talk about what kind of speed the Starship Enterprise actually had and if it was the same as Keir Dullea's spaceship as he went hurtling into nowhere in 2001. Or which Dr. Who was the best. 

Finally...VICTORY. Yes, stomp your feet, make crank calls, whine and bellow, and Mommy will finally pay attention. 

Yeah, "and the gang." Hey gang, we got what we wanted. Too bad about that woman and her vegetable husband who had the stroke, but we can forget about THEM. They turned over the password to US. Hey guyyyyyssss, now we can go back to jerking off to photos of the Metropolis robot. 

  

Some More SOMALIS, Please.

You remember the Somalis. They were mentioned just earlier today here. Something about how the most dangerous assholes in America now are Muslims and Somalis. Not to mention Somali Muslims.

Ripped from today's headlines, just now in fact:

What's the spin gonna be? Poor Mr. Somali didn't get enough government money and benefits for being an immigrant? Not every girl turned around and said, "Wow, I want to suck your black dick?"

Whatever it was, let's not have it impact our view that every lunatic from every shitty and shady country in the world should come HERE. What, Somalia? Where pirates routinely go out and hijack ships? Where there's no law and order? Where idiots are brought up in selfishness and savagery? Bring 'em here. We'll educate them and civilize them. LOL. 

This shit is so common, why even report it? A black lunatic, a Muslim lunatic, a Black Muslim lunatic goes running into a crowd gunning people down or knifing them to pieces. Hey, THAT'S WHAT THEY DO.

And people wonder why Trump got elected? Hillary would say, "More Somalis, Please." Like Obama, she'd not even bother to make a statement about a situation like this. Trump is going to say, "No more assholes from psycho countries." It takes a psycho asshole to know one. 

Anti-Semitism on Ice!

Trump's pal Putin makes sure that all minorities stay under a big red thumb. Especially JEWS. Dubya was a pal of Putin's too, grinning about how they were pals: "I call him Pooty Poot." Meanwhile Putin just glowers and keeps being the Commie dictator KGB scumbag he is. 

Put it this way, in most any normal country, people would think twice about using Nazi symbols. They wouldn't joke about concentration camps or wear an SS uniform or deny the millions that were murdered in Hitler Hell. 

Not  the animals in Mother(fucking) Russia. 

Right, right, let's excuse this. 5% in the audience got the idea that the dancers were being "sympathetic" to the plight of those in concentration camps. Ice skating is the PERFECT way to show sympathy. 

While there have been howls of protest that didn't necessarily deserve it (about "Hogan's Heroes" on TV for intance, or "Life is Beautiful" at the movies), it seems that THIS type of shit is used as a barometer of "How much can we get away with?"

It's like pictures of Hitler happily plastered around a bullfighting ring, or Japanese TV ads using Nazi symbols, or Roger Waters declaring Israel should be starved out of existence. Right, Roger, just because the destruction of Israel would impact on the Jews living there, you ain't an anti-Semite.

The Jew-haters smile when all they get is "condemnation." A letter in the Times. A few articles that shiver over how powerful Putin is and how nobody can do anything about incidents like this. So next time, make it worse. "They let us get away with Anti-Semitism on Ice...next..." 

Oh well. Jews ain't Niggas. They ain't Muslims. They don't riot every time they are provoked. They don't terrorize innocent people at a parade or in a nightclub and blow shit up. They just say "Never Again" and hope for the best. 

A Muzz To Avoid

One of the big deals in America at the moment, is the Native Americans getting abused for peacefully protesting the fracking and the oil pipelines on their land. 

Yes, we give them some obscure and worthless "reservations" and now we're invading them, if only to run leaky oil pipes through. 

Thing is, all that the "Libtards" are doing is clucking their tongues. Isn't it a pity.

We've got the Dave Matthews Band and pure-hearted Jackson Browne SINGING about it. Doing concerts. "Raising awareness." Joan Baez wrote an open letter to Michelle Obama asking her to ask her husband to help, and stop the government from invading Native American land. Everyone on the right side of this just sits there and shrugs and writes letters and sings. Nobody's rioting. Because it's Whites and Native Americans who care about this. Hell, we don't even have GAYS prancing around saying, "We're here and we're QUEER and one of the Village People was an Indian." 

IF I'M BEING HONEST, if the pipeline was going through a MUSLIM neighborhood, the government would quickly detour. There are indeed MUSLIM neighborhoods and practically entire towns full of Somali immigrants, etc. etc. that are NO GO areas. These areas aren't restricted to urban cities. The Somalis somehow decided to band together and take over towns in Minnesota somewhere.  
Despite all those old Cowboys and Indians movies, NOBODY is afraid of Native Americans. They aren't violent. They don't seem to even have a stockpile of bows and arrows. 

Now here's another news item. A veteran newscaster QUIT HER JOB, FEARING FOR HER LIFE, because she got death threats. From who? A Native American? A Jew? A Redneck? A Nigga? No, she wouldn't take a threat from any of them too seriously. The threat came from a MUSLIM. 

Interesting. This story has actually NOT gotten a lot of coverage. 

The news has been more about "BUY SHIT, WE'RE IN THE MIDST OF BLACK FRIDAY AND CYBER MONDAY." It's about trying to get a recount on the election results in a few key states, hoping for some miracle that would bring Hillary Clinton to power. It's about another "Hail Mary" play, which is trying to get members of the "Electoral College" to NOT vote for Trump but "see that Clinton won the popular vote and do what THE PEOPLE want." 

Meanwhile, here's your typical Muzzie lunatic that everyone coddles or stays away from. And we wonder why the MEDIA is so fucked up? First off, they are loaded up with well-intentioned people who think immigrants are all lovely. Second, they don't want to seem biased. Third, they are scared shitless. There are a LOT of crazies out there. 

Anybody doing a GOFUNDME for this lady? Any TV station offering to give her a job, and pay her moving expenses to get the fuck out of Denver? 

An irony is that Colorado was one of the first states to legalize marijuana. What, they expect this woman to just sit back, have a few tokes, and hope that this Muslim lunatic will be satisfied that she's not on TV anymore? 

Is she sure this guy is not going to go on a JIHAD and decide that Allah wants her dead for her past sins? Is there any reasoning with a psycho Muslim?

ALLAH-OOPS, you're not allowed to say that religious fanatics are NUTS, especially Muzzies. But let's be honest. If this guy was a WHITE JESUS FREAK, the woman wouldn't be that upset. 

Nah, let's ignore"Radical Islam," which is responsible for just about ALL the bombings of airports, offices, buildings and nightclubs, and is loaded with the most homicidal and crazy bastards on the planet.

Rotten Memorabilia Worth "Millions?" To WHO?

I guess a bunch of aging Hoobastanks are crying bitterly. Some retro-snots might be moaning that they can't spend their allowance on KEWL artifiacts from Mum and Dad's day. Oh, oh, some MEMORABILIA got destroyed! How AWFUL!

McLaren's son burned his Daddy's collection, declaring "Punk has become another marketing tool..." Yeah? 

I think the Sex Pistols and McLaren proved almost INSTANTLY, that PUNK could be just a "marketing tool." Almost as soon as it began, PUNK fashions, PUNK magazines and every possible type of PUNK music was being SOLD at a SELL-OUT level. 

What was the big deal when the Sex Pistols came to America? That they're the new Beatles, pioneering a new sound? No, it was "They're making MONEY. Kids in England are BUYING THIS. Let's see!" Right. Americans saw, and shrugged. And Sid Stupid and his idiot bitch ended up six feet under. And eventually Johnny Rotten changed his name. 

McLaren's kid just found out that PUNK is just a marketing gimmick? Well, good for him that he doesn't need the money, and he burned MILLIONS OF DOLLARS in Sex Pistols "memorabilia." He's that noble? Is there anything more sinister behind this? Who appraised this collection as valuable at all??

I'm not sure if I still have the original vinyl. I did sell a few vintage photos on eBay and they didn't exactly go for MILLIONS. Or even a hundred. More like a coupla fiverrrrs. 

PUNK IS DEAD, of course. Anyone doing it now is a knickerless pretender. And you know what, it was of its time. It was a nice protest. Honey Whoever and Debbie Whatever could get up on a stage and shout and bellow and look sexy, and you didn't know what the fuck the words were. It was attitude. These were rebels without a clue, really. What, the Queen ain't a human bean? How NOT profound. 

Most of what was going on at CBGB's and punk-atoriums around the world was just kids blowing off steam, and good for them. IF I'M BEING HONEST, it was more gratifying to be on stage performing it than having to listen to it. That's the way it is with many other types of music, too, including most 10-minute on-the-nod jazz riffs,  show-off banjo bluegrass garbage, and fucking drum solos.  

For a while, the big democracy about PUNK was that it seemed anybody could do it. Go stick a safety pin in your cheek and go up there and shout. If you learned three guitar chords, wow, what a bonus. How many GOOD punk songs were there? "Love Comes In Spurts" by Richard Hell, and what else? 

Very quickly, it descended into parody, and the ones who managed to prosper did it by moving to NEW WAVE and finding MELODY. Patti Smith mated with Bruce Springsteen on "Because the Night," a fucking arena rock song. 

Elvis Costello's "Allison" is just a ballad. Debbie Whatever had a hit with mainstream shit like the lullaby "Tide is High." Ian Dury cackled as he turned punk into DISCO fer Chrissake. By the time we got to Chrissie punk was already DEAD. 

Good for Joe, if he's depriving lamebrains from decorating their walls with pretentious crapola. The little Cheshires out there who either want desperately to own PSYCH shit or PUNK shit need to understand: you wuz born TOO late. FUCK YOU. Buying the gear won't help. It's as pathetic as the rednecks who have shrines to Elvis. He ain't comin' back and Millennials aren't interested. 

"Punk has become another marketing tool" is something Daddy McLaren should've said 40 years ago. In fact, he probably did, but nobody was listening because he only muttered it under the ka-CHING of cash registers toting up sales for his own ridiculous solo albums. 

Do something different, Boredom Twins

There they go again...the latest hopeless cover versions that NOBODY cares about. Johnny goes on and on with his wide-eyed delusions of grandeur, in love with the sound of his own voice. Eight people take a look? Ten? Twenty? Oooh! 

And Shauna, with her fiftieth Taylor Swift cover, or some other rancid piece of shit from Mayer or Selena or Ariana? Lord! She's beyond pathetic. She once covered "Free Falling" by Tom Petty, but didn't mention him, only that she was doing the JOHN MAYER COVER.  She doesn't get it, that doing a COVER puts you in stark competition with the original? Her cover exposed how anemic her personality is, and how weak her voice is. 

No, no, little Irish twit-twat, these aren't the Pia Zadora days. You don't get a career because you look CUTE. PS, Pia had tits, and a sugar daddy bankrolling her. 

Maybe it's time for you two idiots to play a Freaky Friday game (on a Saturday) and change places. It couldn't hurt. Not as much as it hurts to see and hear what you're doing now, over and over and over.

Gay Fighter Blows Championship Match

What a surprise, Mr. "I'm Gay, Gay, GAY" blew it. 

He was 35, which is old for a boxer, but the promoters figured they'd get a lot of publicity out of it. Imagine, he could've become THE FIRST GAY CHAMPION. 

As opposed to, what, the first Bi-Sexual Champion, which we know was Emile Griffith? At this point in the 21st Century, you can't avoid GAY GAY GAY all over the place. Everybody's out. Everybody's marching in "pride" parades. It's pretty boring, isn't it?

The big deal NOW, is actually the transgender bunch, yelling about not being able to prance into a ladies room or swagger into a men's room. 

Isn't that an adorable pose? The poof looks like he was delighted to get beaten up by a bigger, stronger man. 

It does make you wonder if he was too busy thinking about blowing him to throw punches. After all, what would happen if a straight guy was put in the ring with a good looking woman? The guy would not want to hit her, he'd want to fuck her. He might even get off on her hitting him! 

In the 21st Century there's still a lot of misplaced "affirmative action" games: "Let's hire the WOMAN, to show how cool we are, let's make the BLACK the president, let's encourage Muzzies and let them wear weird outfits to work, and of course, let's have a bunch of gays — the campiest and loudest — to liven up the place with their loud shirts and louder lisping." 

Somebody far more deserving of a title shot had to wait because of THIS silly savage. 

Sassy Thinks She has a Cool Name? Somebody MUCH More Famous Is Using It

What is it? Disaskia? Saskatune? Basket Case? 

Ah...there's a person on YouTube who gets 80,000 hits and even 140,000 and her name is...

Ah, yah, yah, der SASS-KEE-YA. 

Give the public what they want: some hot bitch showing off her BEAUTY. 

That sure trumps an ordinary, decent-voiced spoiled rich-bitch with a self-entitled attitude, pasty skin, a plain rodent-like face and the body of an anorexic frog. 

  

Dream on, cunt. 

There's a big difference between playing to a few tony, indulgent, affluent assholes in Bristol, and in making it in the real world. 

The real deal is what they want in the folkie clubs in any working class town, and something unique and dynamic...great body, face AND voice AND original material is what you need in London. And even then, London clubs have no shortage of talent and this twat couldn't last thirty seconds at an audition, and that's if she waited 3 hours on a line to even get through the door. 

That's ok, she can always go back to her DAY job, and if she can't get Daddy to help her pull some Arts Council strings and get her money she doesn't deserve, maybe Mum can work her charms. Go ahead Mum, show how charming you are. 

"They say we're TOO YOUNG..." to be redneck assholes, or to die

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. 

Y'all know Georgia, doncha? It's always on yer mind. Eat a Peach. 

Now who is THIS dumb-faced redneck asshole? Why, he's USED to be Elijah Cox. Just 20 years old, and already got hisself a mug shot. 

So what did this stupid inbred piece of Southern shit do NOW? 

Why, he wuz shackin' up with a 16 year-old named Raina. Gah-lee, that's 3 years ABOVE the Jerry Lee Lewis age for sex, right? Say hello, Raina. Excuse me, you can't. Yer dead.

Well sir, amazing as it seems, Raina's fam-ba-lee didn't seem to think stupid-looking Elijah Cox was a catch. Even with that Biblical fucking first name. 

So, Raina's fam-ba-lee eventually went over to where Elija and his MAMA lived, and told Raina to get in the car and come on home. "And stop this foolishness," right? That probably was a phrase. Along with, "On the way back home we'll stop at Burger King, how's that?" 

On Thanksgiving, Cox showed up at the family’s house, armed with a shotgun. Raina and the five fam-ba-lee members high-tailed it to the bathroom. Cox kicked in the bathroom door. Raina slapped his pudgy face and told him to stop this foolishness. 

He grabbed her and stormed out of the house, burnin' rubber on his stinky sedan, and roaring off into the night. And into a tree. Pretty ironic that it happened in DRUID HILLS, Georgia. 

The lovebirds were killed instantly, so it was a tad unnecessary that the car burst into flames. 

Did Raina leave willingly to spare her fam-ba-lee from violence? Did she find Elijah's actions romantic? The spin, of course, is on the former. 

Years ago, there was "puppy love." A couple Elijah and Raina's age might be warned to stop that "heavy petting." So they'd go and sulk and listen to somebody crooning "Too Young." 

Now? Elijah's MAMA thought it was damn ok for her nasty son to have Raina fornicating under her roof. She probably couldn't figure out what Raina's fam-ba-lee was so upset about. He's a GOOD boy, he is. Was. 

IF I'M BEING HONEST, the surprise is that they didn't find Elijah's cellphone thrown from the wreckage, and the last image on it, a grinning selfie. 

Michelle Monaghan Princess of the Potty

I guess if you like to share pix of yourself in the toilet, sending takedowns on intellectual property violation photos would be a low priority, eh? 

I know, Michelle WHO? That's why she's got a pretty low number of LIKES and re-Tweets. 

She's on some obscure cable TV drama nobody watches? She's a woman approaching middle-age, fascinated by wearing a skin-tight outfit in the ladies room? 

At least she's not looking at her fucking phone, as most of the morons do. No, she thinks that "deer in the headlights" look is s-e-x-y. 

Meanwhile her head's being cut off all over the Internet and put on all kinds of porn pix intended to make her look stupid and humiliated. Sad, when she's doing a good job of humiliating herself and looking stupid on Twitter. 

Congrats, Basket Case!

Shauna Cuntwell sings Eitenleiker Horst

"I found a note written on a tampon wrapper I'd discarded. It was from my manager Bill," says Shauna Cuntwell. "It was cryptic."

More like craptic. After all, Bill had wiped his ass with it, before putting on a new nappie. It said, between the splotches: "Try German market: Shauna cover Eitenleiker Horst."

"I had tossed that note in my knickers drawer, and forgot about it. A few days ago, I found it again. I haven't done Taylor Swift in a long time, and I'd just finished shaving my twat, so I didn't know what to do. I figured I'd try this idea. 

"I went on YouTube and I saw that all this guy Horst does is go on and on about stupid shit he's bought and is unboxing in front of the camera. I knew I could match this with rambling guitar strums. I did it phonetically; I sang into a phone, so Eitenleiker could hear it and approve of my accent. He began breathing funny and then I heard grunts and moans. 

"My next question was the visuals. What would appeal to Germans? A cute Irish bitch? Hell no, Germans are decadent and like deformed freaks. I made a pair of Eitenleiker Horst glasses. That's enough! Attention Germans! Ach, tung! (That means "Out of Tune). You'll love this because it's creepy! Auf Wiedersehnnn-eeeeeeee!" 

GOBBLE, GOBBLE - Thanksgiving and "Black Friday Matters"

You can be thankful about Thanksgiving...if you're NOT spending it with irritating relatives. Maybe you've got some kind of DISEASE that gives you an excuse. Suddenly, the DISEASE that has wrecked your life makes you THANKFUL that one day isn't made WORSE.

Of course, you might be treated to sullen wisecracks and hateful glowers, followed by the silent treatment, but that's better than the alternative. You're spared the fucking INQUISITION of five, six, or eight solid hours of being at a "party," forced to smile at morons, grin at screaming brats, and pretend to enjoy the fatty garbage you had BETTER EAT lest somebody or other gets offended. You've avoided having to "entertain" people you hate by telling them jokes and amusing stories, and, worse, giving free advice to money-hungry brain-picking pests. 

THIS Thanksgiving was especially adorable in NYC, for aside from cold weather, there were the warm and reassuring reports that thousands of police and soldiers and undercover agents were deployed to make the parade safe from potential ISIS bombers. 

How nice. So millions (mostly tourists) got a chance to freeze their asses off and watch a bunch of balloons freakishly blot the cold gray light. Who wouldn't want to see a gigantic fucking CHARLIE BROWN come looming along, hoisted by a few dozen pissed off rope-holders? Who wouldn't be charmed by idiots waving from crass floats loaded up with "commercial placement" announcements? Gee, look who is waving, some jerk from some reality show, or is it some dimwit from a soap opera?  

Would it be a surprise to know that this event look much better on TV? In person, it's a fucking hell to get NEAR the parade route, and almost impossible to get a good position unless you start out three hours before the parade starts. Then what, you're going to be standing near a whole bunch of utter ASSHOLES squealing, shouting, being stupid, and distracting you from enjoying ANYTHING. If you do manage to be in a good spot, you'll soon be bored, because what IS so great about watching giant balloons? Most of 'em are of "heroes" you don't know because you're not 12 or a cretin. "Product placement" means the Pillsbury Doughboy is in, and Bullwinkle the Moose is OUT. Yes, balloons are often "retired." Gotta make room for SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, Bullwinkle. Fuck OFF. 

Thanksgiving is worth the hell for a lot of idiot people. They like taking Wednesday off, having Thursday, and then calling in sick for Friday. Ha ha ho ho hee hee, a LONG WEEKEND. Nobody gets much done. 

If you survive Thanksgiving, then there's the "reward" of goddam BLACK FRIDAY. 

Indeed, why do all the odious "big box" stores and creepy super-Internet sites suddenly offer "bargains?" No wonder business is lousy for six months. People are off with "vacations" in the summer, and they come back knowing if they hold off on purchases in September and October, they can score "BLACK FRIDAY" deals in November. 

No need to go into detail on how horrible "Black Friday" is. There are riots at the stores where the po' folks go. There's gluttony on line, with "bargain codes" to use, and "deep discounts" on shit that was overpriced for the past five months. 

Stores that sell ordinary things find themselves starved out, because people are spending all their money on wine, perfume, electronics, Nigga sneakers, the latest idiot toys, and ridiculous holiday items like mail order fruit baskets and nut logs. It reaches the point where people suddenly have nothing in the bank account, because they've bought so much shit for themselves AND "cleverly" done their CHRISTMAS SHOPPING early. 

Somehow, Thanksgiving has become a time to do what people don't really like to do much of during the year: eat turkey. People LOVE their fucking chicken. But on Thanksgiving, the burden is to buy some genetically-altered Dolly Parton-breasted turkey which will take hours to cook and MUST include stuffing, cranberry sauce, squash, sweet potatoes, marshmallows and half the fucking supermarket on the fucking table. 

Yeah, give thanks you're not a turkey. What's with people sitting around a table, smiling warmly, thanking God, and being cheerful about ending a bird's life? What's this perverted JOY about carving into a turkey, slicing off chunks of its corpse, and cheering how roasted the flesh is? 

It's all pretty fucking depressing unless you're in the midst of a family event too chaotic for anyone to think rationally. No, it's "keep the liquor away from Aunt Zab, and watch out for incontinent Uncle Bill, and don't let horny Hans get his hands on anything male or female with blonde hair." The meal becomes refuge, because people are generally too busy stuffing themselves with stuffing to keep on blabbing. 

THIS Thanksgiving, with Trump and his Republican majority about to try every dirty trick and bullying tactic in the book? It isn't bad enough the Muslims are trying to pull civilization back into the 15th Century, we've got Trump and his pals ready to pass laws that do everything but legalize burning women as witches. 

The only good thing about Thanksgiving and Black Friday is that they are almost over. Saturday, and life returns sort of to normal, except for all the fucking Christmas music and the decorations all over the place, and the COUNTDOWN of the days till the 25th. Yeah, life in the 21st Century is one damn thing after another. 

Everyone NO's - It's Windy

NO, no, no. Everyone NO's her, even if she shows off her rubbery nipples.

Well...ALMOST NOBODY cares. Any time ANY woman shows her tits, SOMEBODY will be watching. Pondering. Maybe even wanking. But not for long. There's no shortage of nude album covers, or nipples on the Internip.  

The reality here is this woman may have few dozens fans who remember her WAY BACK WHEN. She certainly has one Dry-Stalker who relentlessly, faggily makes fun of her beyond all boundaries of fun. A few might remember her weird Elvis Costello album, which wasn't too bad, and wonder what she's up to. 

This still doesn't add up to many sales, or many people attending a venue that seats more than 50 people. 

So it's small club dates, "exclusive" vinyl singles to a small circle of her sex fiends, and the kind of "events" that most people would hardly be proud of...like turning up at obscure radio stations. 

Great, for all the Brits who don't celebrate Thanksgiving anyway. Instead of indulging in "Black Friday" buying, or recovering from turkey-bloat, they can listen to Internet Radio. Wowie Zowie.

Elvis Costello comfortably doesn't have to do this kind of thing. He has 100 times the fame of the woman he briefly found fascinating. He has often said he might not tour OR make albums unless he's inspired: 

"Just as romantic disaster governs your younger life, mortality affects the way you do things when you're older. If you're going to leave home to tour, you'd better have a good reason to go." 

Windy is trying to push some designer 7 inch vinyl on a lucky 100 people. She hopes that the $20 a pop she makes, after cost of manufacture, studio costs and postage, might give her a profit. Not likely. Not much.  Elvis knows better:

"The weight and the place records have in the culture is different now, and if you expect the same scale of commercial success, that's bound to end up in frustration." 

Sad situation, isn't it? Elvis COULD for vanity's sake, knock off albums and certainly break even, but he'd rather be with his family and NOT do that. It's part of an artist's pride and eccentricity that sometimes you figure, "Fuck 'em, I'll keep THIS to myself, I won't ENTERTAIN these jerks for NOTHING. It's THEIR loss." 

How very fortunate for Costello that it also doesn't matter how he looks. He can be fat. He can be bald (and wear a silly hat). Nobody's going to NOT buy his stuff because of how he looks. But Windy? 50 year-old bony Windy? She'll flog a photo that was taken a while ago, and hope for the best. (Or second best, which would be that Dry-Fag at least leaving her alone with his brutal insults). 

It's hell, folks!

No, not in this case. Not HELL. So where are you, Windy? Purgatory or Limbo? 

WANKY FAG KEVIN RAMIREZ VS CRANKY BAG JUSTIN BIEBER

I think this may have first appeared in the GRIMSBY TELEGRAPH. Let's say that it did, just so Kevin can go sue them. 

Sure, reach into a limo window like a raving maniac, grab a guy's face (what GUY wants to touch ANOTHER GUY), and don't expect to be shoved, pushed, or PUNCHED. Who instigated this? 

Bieber doesn't live in Spain, so Ramirez may just have to settle for his 15 minutes of fame. 

Notice the laughing woman in the photo. She can't believe HE is acting like such a shocked PUSSY, or that blood has made his lips so kissy-lipstick RED. She's wondering how he somehow looks more feminine than she does. 

Bieber's final remark: "I'd tell Kevin Ramirez to go fuck himself, but the deranged faggot probably does it all the time, and with an eggplant." 

Secret Facebook Assholes? What a Surprise, NOT

Well, well, we have "NEWSER" stealing somebody else's writing. No surprise there. All these cannibal websites do that. They "cut and paste" and call it their own. 

They have stooges who get paid a penny a hit (wheee!) to re-write articles (or manufacture them) so that Huffington or Decider or Newser or Gawker (oops, gone for now) can pretend to be players.

Let's read what some Newser parasite cut-and-pasted from Fusion and Forbes: 

Gosh.

You mean, in addition to MUSIC STEALING groups, and racist groups, and just plain MORON groups that "go private" with their inane conspiracy theories, there are dirty groups? And groups for IDIOT WOMEN? 

Don't we all know that Farcebook is a festering, unhealthy swamp? There's all kinds of secret groups. In fact there's a secret group of aging men who pay to get on stage and pretend to be Bass Gooker or Gyp Whitewhore or Jizz Phillips. When they aren't being fuck-ups on stage, they're getting fucked up with black men, and posting their snapshots to the rest of the group. The group is called...

There's a rival group run by a fat boot sale-loving homo who goes to Pleasuredome with his DOG, but let's not go there! It's off the chart...

She could bill herself as the young R. Kelly

Basket Case can say she's in the tradition of R. Kelly or Chuck Berry. Taking the piss? You bet. 

Maybe she'll cover that Leonard Cohen song...

I was born like this, I had no choice
I was born with the gift of a golden voice

Jimmy Kimmel grins and smirks for AIDS AIDS and NOTHING BUT AIDS

You know Jimmy Kimmel? He's the best of the late night hosts. Which isn't saying much (Fallon? Meyers? Effeminate Corden???) 

He's slipping pretty badly, too, relying on hacky things like "let's interview morons in the street and snicker because they are morons." Or, "How about we find shit on YouTube that YOU could find yourself, and make you watch it." 

One of his most famous routines is the fairly sadistic Halloween ritual of having parents tell kids, "We ate your candy," and watching the kiddies cry, scream and curse. 

You'd think that MAYBE, if Kimmel had the chance, he'd make restitution and raise some money for children. No, not affluent ones who go trick or treating. For the ghetto kids who are starving. For the Native American kids with no future. For kids who could use a scholarship for school. Or the kids who got adult diseases (cancer, leukemia etc.) and are either fighting to live at age 8, or confined to a wheelchair or hobbling on a crutch after an amputation. 

Nah. When HE raises money it's for, (let's bring out the chorus boys) AIDS! AIDS! AIDS! 

That's Hollywood huh? They take care of their own. With so many gays around (and you thought it was all Jews!) the MOST IMPORTANT CHARITY has to be...AIDS.

It brings out all the gay-friendly actresses who smirk and giggle about men who either want to wear their clothes, or are TERRIFIED of their TWATS. Yeah, Julia, feel sorry for them. It brings out the gay celebs, of course, like the ubiquitous Neil Patrick Harris. 

But let's consider how you get AIDS. 99%, especially now that transfusion blood is carefully monitored, get it from deliberate unprotected sex. We're talking about guys who are promiscuous and can't control themselves, and because they didn't just get the clap, we're all supposed to feel sorry for them, and ONLY them.

I felt sorry for the "first wave." These were gays who had no idea why they acquired "immune deficiency" diseases and were suddenly lumpy with black spots, cancers and malignant tumors. Had they KNOWN, they would've stayed out of the gay baths, off the piers, and out of the bathrooms in the trendy discos. But they didn't. 

I also feel sorry for women who got AIDS in weird ways. Like: "My boyfriend isn't gay, but he's a drug addict. He shared needles with a guy who had AIDS, and he got it. Now he's DEAD. And guess what, I've got HIV thanks to him. I now have to live my life taking all kinds of drugs, and pray that my condition doesn't get worse." Yeah, that sucks. But...

Contrast how 99% get AIDS with how 100% of children get cancer. The kids are innocent. It grew inside them. They couldn't avoid it by simply leading a clean life. 

And the innocent adult suddenly has heart disease or leukemia, or develops Parkinson's or Crohn's or Alzheimer's. Why is it the fabulous Hollywood community rarely supports THOSE causes? A certain 82 year-old actress is constantly raving about AIDS, and going off to appear at benefits with drag queens and smirking pervs. Where is she when the Lupus people come to call? Or when support is needed for the ASPCA, even? 

The AIDS bunch act like the disease discriminates against gays deliberately, and that's why it MUST be eradicated. Well, there ARE diseases that discriminate. Sickle cell strikes Blacks predominantly. Blacks who get sickle cell don't get it because they can't stay out of a toilet in a bus station at midnight.

We could benefit with more research on curing people who are blind, or deaf, or suffering paralysis or arthritis. Nah, it's always AIDS. Lopsididly so. Nobody begrudges people their "pet" charities. Animal lovers donate to PETA. Jews to groups fighting anti-semitism. Blacks send their bucks to the NAACP. Lost a son in the war? Then "Wounded Warriors" may get your donation. But ALL those charities involve people who are INNOCENT VICTIMS of something lousy. 

Back in the 80's the guys dying of AIDS were INNOCENT VICTIMS. They didn't know what they were risking. Now they do. Why the huge sympathy for deliberately promiscuous males and for idiots injecting themselves with heroin, and by contrast, almost no sympathy for a child dealing with cancer? 

Kimmel? He could've chosen Lupus. Parkinson's. Even a "pet" charity like the Girl Scouts or Giving Free Companion Animals to Lonely Old People. Nah. It had to be AIDS. That's how he got Julia Roberts and STINGK and the rest to stand around grinning their self-satisfied grins.

There's one major disease that could actually be eradicated just by ABSTINENCE. By common sense. By condoms. By not sharing needles with lunatics. But fuck the innocent, and worry about assfuckers more than anyone else. 

HORST LAUNCHES HIS SCHMUTZ COLLECTION

Asslicker Horst has realized something. 

He is NOT a GooTube star. There are a dozen other idiots who have the same idea (recording themselves unboxing Nazi Roger Waters' garbage) and HE trails far behind in HITS. Some GooTube morons beat him by over 10,000 hits. 

First off, he's always late. Secondly, he speaks German. Third, he's incredibly ugly. 

So, Asslicker Horst has decided to create his own UNIQUE download movies. He says (we translate), "I'm an obese ugly Nazi! Ach du Loser! But if I offer stuff nobody else has? Maybe das ist gut, yah? Like she-male swinery!

"Vat woman would want mit a big VAT O' FECES like ME? Mostly I substitute eating food and buying stuff for having sex, but when I do get the urge, I suck der she-male dick, while I pop der blood sausage and make it shpit! I am offering everyone a chance to WATCH!!"

Horst's second effort is a little more creative. Looking a bit like a mad doctor, and having a penchant for cutting packages open, he's got a documentary on circumcision.

"Wunderbar! I got down on my knees in front of der long schlong-bar! You know waiters cut your meat and expect a tip? I ate the tip! Downloaded it! Yum! Watch mein video. It took 20 minutes to carve dat turkey, but I only charge a fiverrrr, guyyys!!"

Horst has a Paypal banner on his site, and some have complained that disgusting garbage should not be endorsed by Paypal. Paypal, of course, has hoops worthy of Roland the Pinhead, on how to make a report here, here and HERE...and you'll be ignored anyway!

Huh...click EMAIL us and click EMAIL us again? Log in to your Paypal account TWICE???

"Yah, ha ha," laughs Horst, "Paypal are worse greedy Nazi assholes than I am!" 

Jeez, No Wonder She Pisses People Off

OK, she's just another new wave imposter. Yep, she's not the best singer in the world. Granted she's mostly about "the look." 

But I guess what also irks some people is the arty pretentiousness. OK, she's an older punk, so she did actually know some of the players in the game (like Elvis Costello). But THIS is ridiculous. A fucking song name-checking Lester Bangs? 

And let's put it this way, REAL punks do not network on Farcebook.

But here she is, with the not-sexy bored-bitch pose. The trout lips. She actually accentuates her tiny chin by sticking her mitt against it. Who finds this erotic? Knickerless Pain? No wonder there's a limit (and limited edition) to the number of people who buy her stuff or go to her shows. It's hard to find 100 aging fanboys that desperate.

OK, here's another advertisement, and ala-Basket Case, she's self-congratulating herself: "the artwork...is rather good..." (right, it's always about the album cover, not the music inside). 

OK, now that you've told us you're for sale. WHAT the fuck IS the deal with putting out SINGLES in this day and age? Vinyl singles. How retro. How kewl. How is it worth it? You have to have a KILLER song to make anyone buy vinyl anymore.  

Ah. This thing is worth buying not because it's a picture disc (Jane Aire used to pull that stunt, as did Debbie Hairy). Just name drop that you're working with famous has-beens:

Well, it's nice that she is pretending SHE didn't write the notes. It's in the third person, so that excuses the hype. Er, "she suggests the force of energy to create and make progress is innate within us?" Really? I can hardly wait to read these EXCEPTIONAL LYRICS. 

"Pure garage, new wave, forceful, powerful, steam-roller..."  Gee, when even Elvis Costello isn't Elvis Costello anymore, Wendy is capable of a HIT SINGLE? By doing what?  

If I want "pure garage" I can dig out "Louie Louie" fer Chrissake. If I want "New Wave" there are plenty of old Costello albums I could listen to over again. Why do I want 80's music in 2016? And why quote a guy who lived ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO?? Mark Twain??

But there's that line: "HER MOST EXCEPTIONAL LYRICS..." That's got my attention. 

Considering her best work had Costello's EXCEPTIONAL LYRICS, I can hardly wait to read THESE. WHEN DO I GET TO READ THESE LYRICS?

So far, she's almost put me to sleep with all this predictable, boring shit about staying in a funky Manhattan hotel (zzzzzz), the joy of "mixing with denizens of Lower Manhattan" (zzzzzz, they were and are some of the jerkiest assholes on the planet), and sight-seeing CBGB and other overrated holes. Oh, Christ, and she's name-dropping Edie Sedgwick and Andy Warhol. 

And this Lester Bangs shit. Please, this "you hadda be there" or "retro, I'm there" crap of seizing on some dead guy nobody was that crazy about. This is like some dweeb walking around with a Kerouac book, but worse. Old issues of Creem? Collected shit from one of the many wanna-be's who were going to cheerlead, via hipster prose, a NEW MOVEMENT that wasn't all bowel? 

ALL RIGHTY THEN. Would you give us the great LYRICS, please? 

No? You've got MORE NAME-DROPPING? 

JEEEEEEEZ. 

She went to New York and "wanted Abraham Lincoln....Hank Williams...Altamont..." You iz a long way off, lady. 

Now she's over it all, I guess. She might as well be in Bristol sipping tea with Roland the Pinhead. She might as well be eyeing venues that Saskatune plays. NYC never sleeps, but now she's wandering around areas in the UK that are shut down for the winter!  

Lady, don't turn your FARCEBOOK page into WAR AND PEACE. 

WHERE ARE THE FUCKING LYRICS? 

THE EXCEPTIONAL LYRICS? 

THE ONES THAT BEAT PATTI AND BLONDIE AND NICK AND ELVIS AND DYLAN, AND OFFER THAT TREMENDOUS INSIGHT INTO THE NEW WAVE MOVEMENT?

THE ONES THAT WILL INSPIRE US TO HAVE "UNSTOPPABLE ENERGY?" 

Oh, dear.