Killer Monkey Man JOJO JOHN - And Yuppie AMUSEMENT

Meet JOJO JOHN, a BANKER. His idea of a good time is taking his luxury motor boat out on the Hudson River and speeding around while boozed up.

He killed two people.

What a fucking MONKEY.

There was a song popular in the 30's, called "JOJO THE CANNIBAL KING." Well, that JOJO is nothing compared to the KILLER BANKER, who ran a few of his rich Yuppie pals into a barge. The bride-to-be and the best man were killed. The groom and the other passengers suffered head injuries. And poor JOJO the MONKEY...the guy with the drug conviction a few years ago, the fuckhead from JPMORGAN, he's telling his rich friends he's like, oh wow, real sorry. Mostly because he'll be spending some money on a lawyer. One who'll get his charges dismissed, or have him sprung from a posh country-club jail after six months.

AMUSEMENT in the world of JOJO JOHN and other banker and Hedge Fund scumbags, Real Estate shits and Internet CEO creeps...involves partying till 4am in moronic clubs where GAGA music blares and Euro-trash morons snort cocaine. It involves living in $500,000 one-bedroom condos with views of poor slobs across the river in Brooklyn or Hoboken. It's all about scoring those $1000 front row tickets to see BROOOSE or to hear MACCA go "Jude-ay Jude-ay Jude-ay." It involves going to overpriced Wall Street area strip clubs and buying $1000 bottles of champagne just to out-do the ugly jerk at the next table. Going on the Internet and finding an "escort" is also good, because amusement for the banker and hedge fund pricks involves paying for it. These emotionally bankrupt losers can't have real relationships. Oh, unless it's with some whore-minded tart using 'em to get bling and gift certificates to fancy shops.

AMUSEMENT for a simian shitpile like JOJO might also involve a sound system beyond the range of the average club DJ, or a plasma TV the size of a wall, but staying home is not a priority... it's much more fun to go speeding down a highway in the Hamptons or using the Hudson River as your private toilet. If you don't live in a big city, you might not know that the rivers are seldom used anymore for hauling fresh fish so that people can get it at a decent price. No, rivers are mostly used for show-off monkey-faced shits like JOJO JOHN, as they speed along, drink in hand, laughing it up.

There's always room for mindless greedheads on Wall Street and they can be imported from anywhere in the world...so JOJO, and Gunga, and Habib and Jose can join Carrington Harrington III and put on the monkey suit from 9 to 5. Then comes AMUSEMENT TIME...

...speeding on a motorboat, dialing up hookers, using and abusing strangers in bars, scoring DRUGS...and basically being more anti-social and destructive than any N-word in Harlem or Compton and any gang of Latinos cruising Brooklyn.

Some of us are lucky to find a used paperback in a thrift shop to take our minds off our miseries. At least we aren't so fucked up, corrupt and awful that we would rather spend four years in college learning to be immoral and disgusting and go work for Morgan Stanley. Some of us believed, and still believe, that "the suits" are scum. We listened to the lyrics from the 60's musicians who made the great music, and the New Wave artists who came along to also make great music, and we'd rather keep listening to that stuff than to disco and Mariah Carey and Beyonce and Celine Dion and whatever else the suits stick up their iPods or blast from their Boses.

Some of us figured that if we didn't make 500,000 a year and just 50,000, fine, fair exchange for being independent, creative, working for good causes or even a small interesting indie shop. But...sell-outs, greedheads and pieces of shit like JoJo John have not exactly helped matters, have they? They've made sure to raise the rent, slit our throats with mortgages, tie us up with complicated tax forms and do everything possible to take it ALL, and edge out the middle class and smash any lower class people who aren't running shoeshine stands or being maids and nannies. They want it ALL, and as exemplified by Herr Schmidt of Google or Kim Dotcom of Megaupload. The tragedy for Jojo John is that he didn't run over some Puerto Ricans in Queens on his way to the Hamptons, but knocked out a few of his own.

JOJO JOHN were you listening to GAGA at the time of the crash? Or was it RAP?

Have a nice time in prison, Monkey Man, and rattle your cage so you get some organic bananas brought to you. And remember, you won't be in the can for long. You'll be back out and ready to PARTY, PARTY, PARTY! Don't let killing a few people upset you too much. You and your hedge fund and lawyer and real estate swindlers and bankers and stockbrokers...STOCKBROKERS...are killing so many more people. Killing the softly. Killing them slowly. Killing them as they struggle to make minimum wage while you hold them up for more. Killing people who can't pay your rents and your mortgages. Killing people who don't get a good dividend on their savings because you need a bigger TV and a better motorboat and more cocaine for your amusement.