ZIMMERMAN COMMITS NEW CRIME: "Bob Dylan ANOTHER SELF PORTRAIT"

Yes, JUST when you were sick and tired of hearing about ZIMMERMAN...

What a terrible surprise.

While Bob's affluent faithful continue to whine about how they want an official "Blood on the Tracks" bootleg collection, or the complete works of Bob and The Band at Big Pink, etc. here comes...outtakes from the shittiest album he ever released!

Well, why the fuck should the exasperating Zimmerman EVER do what fans want? His masochistic schlemiels buy everything!

Pre-ordered into the Top 100 already, Bob is once again assured that he'll always be one of the chosen few...who aren't hurt by bootlegging. Not when the 11th Commandment is "Thou Shalt Buy Expensive Bob Dylan Collectors Items."

There are SEVERAL versions of this fucking "Another Self Portrait" farce. Collect 'em all.

And don't forget the digital re-issue, re-mixed. Because...well, let's go with Bob's version. He deliberately made a shitty 2-lp set so that people would leave him alone. So he no doubt also told Columbia to master it badly. NOW? I dunno, the smell has been enhanced. You can see actual parasites and bits of undigested food in the shit.

A hundred bucks or more for the CD deluxe. For the VINYL deluxe. Now for the ordinary schmucks (oh, the defectives out there who also only pay the minimum to be a member of the UJA) there's the simple 2 CD collection of "Self Portrait" outtakes, mixed up (just to be perverse) with a few tracks from the live Isle of Wight show, and a few bits and pieces left off "New Morning" and "Nashville Skyline."

Here's a nugget for you. Most everyone who knows Dylan has a good reason to think he's a prick. He's into mind games. He'll do shit just to test. As sensitive as he is, he can be just as abrasive and block-headed. That's not a knock on him, it's reality. Go read Mr. Poe's description of his fictional poet Wyatt ("The Oblong Box"). It applies to Bob, who has left many a band-mate and soulmate behind, and Poe's lines are as good a definition of "genius" as you get.

So here's Zimmerman again, being a prick. Like a nasty pusher, he knows desperate Dylan fans need their fix...only this time, it's cut with a lot of junk. Hey, it's been TOO SOON since the release of that new Dylan album (the one with the incredibly tedious Titanic song that was full of fiction and nonsense). Here ya go, Bob-a-Roo's...go back and study SELF POTRAIT outtakes!

Genius...Bob offers a museum-piece package (the deluxe has TWO hardcover books!) that tells you his shit is Shinola. BRILLIANT!

"Another Self Portrait." You can't study a man's successes unless you also study his failures, right? And failure's no success at all, unless you can turn it into a Top 100 on Amazon!