The BLOB that FELL to EARTH

"Are we having fun yet?"

Those may have been the last words (in Spanish, though) from La Bloba...the Mexi-Texas woman who fell off a Six Flags roller coaster.

The over-fed freak's demise will have some kind of happy ending; kin will become millionaires after filing a lawsuit. Money, more than time, cures all wounds.

This fat fuck could've had a heart attack on that ride. Her kin would STILL have filed a lawsuit, and would STILL end up millionaires, because being a blob-slob is a tradition in Mexico, and a right in America. As in, "you'll have to pry that burrito out of my pudgy fist!"

Mexico is the fattest nation on Earth. It has the highest rate of obesity. Second to...America.

No matter what happened on that ride...a fall or a heart attack, PAY UP! You can bet there are shysters calling the family at this very moment...and being told, "Sorry, too late...we've already got someone promising us a fortune...."

Big Bucks. Guaranteed. A convenient witness claims to have heard this fat fuck question whether she was securely locked into her seat.

A bored employee (and this will add a few hundred thousand to the settlement) supposedly muttered that she was fine. But, the lawyers will say, he didn't "test" the bar that locked over her seat again and again and keep people waiting. Of course not. He didn't do it for anybody else. And he probably didn't want to risk a molestation charge by getting his hands too close to this blubber-pot's overhanging flesh.

Look at that blob! She shouldn't have been on that ride at all. 14 stories up in the air, the roller coaster starts picking up speed, and maybe gravity and her bouncing bulge broke that bar. Did she have something to do with her own demise? Won't matter. The big bucks will be coming in.

Isn't part of the FUN of these rides the idea that they really AREN'T SAFE? Then what are you assholes complaining about? It's incidents like THIS that help bring people to theme parks! This is actually GOOD publicity!

So if Six Flags has to pay out a few million...well, they'll get it back within a few weeks from all the people flocking to go on that roller coaster. They'll want the thrill of being in the same position as...The BLOB that FELL to EARTH.

Win Win!

Did it take very long to post something that is the very definition of AMUSEMENT PORK?