ROGER WATERS: "I LIKE FUCKING SHEEP"

Alice's Pest o' Rant

"This guy is still BRILLIANT..." says nobody.

That didn't stop the desperate idiots at PBS from offering a "fundraiser special" on Arlo Gusty, and his classic (gosh, it was made into a movie nobody has seen in decades) "Alice's Pest O' Rant."

THIS is something so FANTASTIC they think they can chop it into 15 minute segments with 10 minute pledge drive rants in between?

Quarterly, PBS tries to find things that affluent white people will find SO fantastic, they'll rush to the phone and donate hundreds of dollars. "Oooh, thanks PBS, for giving us a Peter Paul and Mary re-union...a re-union of creeky Doo-Wop groups...another of those God-awful Ken Burns documentaries...some bewildering stereotypical British shit like Upchuck Downstairs..."

PBS gets limited government funding, and is greedy for more than what big corporations and philanthropies offer. They do raise money the old fashioned way (by producing specials so good, they can sell them later on DVD to libraries and the general public). But why not make the general public feel guilty? So they offer "you gotta see this" TV specials and then interrupt them constantly to remind everyone that only PBS put this thing on the air. So put something in the tip jar.

Scraping the bottom of the stable, THIS time around it's...THIS guy?

He's nice enough for a doofus. That "Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr. Customs Man" thing was hippie-dippie in its day. That day is long gone. We have customs men searching for Muzzie maniac bombs of mass destruction that can be hidden in something the size of a pack of cigarettes, or Arlo's brain.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, this guy was not too interesting 40 fucking years ago. "I don't wanna pickle, just wanna ride my motah-sickle..." Jesus Fuckin' Christ. OK, sad that your Dad got a horrible disease and wasted away, but SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I suppose there was some question, "Is Arlo gonna get it, too? That would be sad. We should all be extra nice to him, and invite him to sing along with Bob Dylan and Phil Ochs at benefits."

As for Alice's Pest o' Rant, it was ok, if tedious. It wasn't exactly THAT much different from Andy Griffith's affable drawling hillbilly shit. Griffith used to do long drawn out monologues belaboring how football is played, or how Romeo and Juliet talked to each other. So here's this long, long, LONG routine about the draft and whatnot, which did appeal to all of us skinny pot heads and long-hairs worrying about getting shot in Vietnam, but please, it wasn't genius. It isn't STILL brilliant, and that inane refrain could drive anyone back to drugs even after 40 years sobriety.

PBS always insults the intelligence of rich people. If you "pledge" $100 or $200 or whatever it is, you get "as our gift" a copy of that fucking album on CD. Right. It's been a "nice price" low budget item nobody wants almost since CDs were first made. You think you're fooling anyone by giving away a $6 Best Buy CD with a pledge of $150??

The other thing they offer, if you donate an outrageous amount, is a copy of Arlo's fresh new concert (featuring all his "classics'). Thing is, you can record the fucking thing right off the air. "Your DVD has bonus material not on the broadcast." Which means it wasn't considered too fucking important.

This latter point recalls what a blogger friend wrote about the recent fetishistic "300 limited edition pressing" of some rock group's old vault material. Indeed, what IS the point of giving parasites more reasons to be cheerful?

Why put a high price and make a "collector's item" out of crap that wasn't worth releasing before?

Isn't it enough that the crooked ticket situation means that parasites grab off all the best tickets, bribe all the right people, and turn around and make quadruple face value on every ticket they have? Does this have to happen with records and CD's? If it isn't "Record Store Day" it's some other sneaky game...where a record store dealer either puts the item on the wall for $500 or tosses it on eBay for a big laugh. "Into the valley of GREED rode the 300..."

Putting it out for "Black Friday" and the Christmas bullshit is even seedier. How weird it is, that we're supposed to NOT buy all year, because for ONE month, there will be sudden savings. Yeah? Why not have a decent price in the first place? Why is it that today I got a notice from EBAY that if I use a special code, I get 10% off on anything? Oh, nice, I can get an external 2TB drive that was $117 for $104. How does this encourage me to buy any other time of the year? Why do I get the idea that all year long you bastards are taking advantage of me and pumping up the price? Why is it that so many department stores suddenly offer 50% off either before or right after Christmas? It tells me you pricks have a lot of nerve charging way more than you should.

The business of putting out a record in a limited edition "for copyright reasons," makes no sense at all. You really have no faith in it? Then let copyright lapse!

Otherwise, press a decent amount and hope there will be an Adele-type rush before the pirates throw mp3 versions all over the Internet (like they've done with the Bob Dylan 6 CD set).

Sad to say, there's very little worth buying, period. I "support" a few artists and buy their stuff, preferably off their websites if I can. But I ain't goin' out of my way to buy an expensive import on a French singer who is a millionaire...not when a FLAC version is instantly on a torrent. Not when the art work on the cover isn't anything spectacular. Not when CDs are almost never packaged with lush booklets or exotic cases. At one time this singer offered fantastic packages...digipacks with secret envelopes and compartments...cases made out of tin that looked like a holy relic of human skin might be inside. I don't see that from her anymore.

I'm not going to "support" some half-comatose rock group like Squeeze, just to "vote" and encourage them to do more. Not when they haven't been interesting in 30 years, and I don't need more musical wallpaper to play while papering a wall. And since CDs go DOWN in value and are shitty little things with microscopic print on the booklets (and booklets that are sometimes only a few pages), I'm not that eager to toss money away on things that I don't really want. I'm curious about it? Not good enough.

So in the end, they kick themselves in the end. That rare 300 limited edition vinyl? Magically, SOMEBODY turned it into a FLAC and everyone can hear it...and not be impressed.

Alice's Pest o' Rant had that infamous line, "You can get anything you want..." but these days, who the fuck wants it?

There's a Panty Smeller Born Every Minute

Guys are so stupid, aren't they? Yes, they are.

Oh GOSH, here's a swinging EBAY seller who threw a big sexy party and a PAIR OF PANTIES GOT LEFT BEHIND.

So this urbane, wealthy, sophisticated party-giver desperately needs to make $5 selling them on EBAY.

Right. Some fucking kid in Oregon supposedly spent $200 on a room, $200 on food for his pals, $500 on a stripper, and she just happened to leave her PANTIES behind. Oooh ooh! $5 sale! Wowee ZOWEE!

It reminds me of an auction years ago, when some jerk claimed his mommy, a cleaning lady in a Boston hotel, found a pair of Britney Spears' panties under the couch. This lie was enough to get a $40 return.

Kind of surprising THIS asshole hasn't made up a flashier story, huh?

If you scope the site, you'll find PLENTY of con artists claiming they've got a bra, or shoes or some other "wardrobe" item that "once belonged" to a major star. This is so much easier than FORGING. Just go to a charity shop, grab a bra, and run a photo CLAIMING that the famous chick was wearing it in the picture.

Remarkable that some SO LUCKY eBay sellers seem to be in the right place when dozens of well-guarded female celebrities are changing. How AMAZING that they can make deals with every wardrobe department, and that celebrities never wear their own underwear but "rent" it from the movie studio.

Ha ha ha, laugh all the way to the bank.

And the bidder in the case of those stripper panties? Sniff sniff. As long as he can SNIFF SNIFF he won't be crying.

A victimless crime.

WINNING Ugly - A Big Week For Bloated Low-Class No-Talent Brit-Shits

ADELE becomes the hottest seller. TYSON FURY becomes heavyweight champ.

Amusement gets more and more disgusting.

Blobs...and the world is getting overloaded with overweight oafs, cheer ADELE. She's one of the well-fed faces of "full figure" entertainment these days. You don't need me to name all the cake-stuffing blimp bitches out there who are starring in movies and TV shows and telling the world not to "shame" them for being pigs.

ADELE is unquestionably the poster girl for ugly slobs, and really, her music stinks and her voice is nothing special. Her shit is as forgettable as Amy Swinehouse's "No No No." Who is playing that skag's stuff anymore? Nobody.

What especially interests the Ox-Farts who love ADELE so much, is how she "makes up" OH SO WELL. Get a team to design her a frock that won't expose her blobs too much, and get a team of spackle experts and art school dropouts to paint up her face and add slimming shadows and bold gobs of mascara and lipstick to distract from her pudgy oatmeal convex face, and people go "She's actually ATTRACTIVE."

No. I'd throw her out of my bed...if I ever learned to bench-press 300 pounds.

About the only good thing I can say about her, is she turned her back on Spotify. Being a dumb cow, all she really did was glance at Taylor Swift and see how lucrative and headline-grabbing it is to talk about SALES. Actual SALES.

In fact, editorials have sprung up criticizing A-Dull not for her crappy music and ugly fatness, but for being the greedy pig who refused to let Spotify parasites stream her music all day for chump change.

This led to a scrappy response.

Moving over to the other 300 pound classless British pile of shit, Tyson Fury is now the Champ of the World. As if, with limited fights, he's the real deal. He isn't (and neither is the equally inexperienced Deontay Wilder or Britain's black hope, Anthony Joshua).

No question, Joshua and Wilder have more punching power than big goon Tyson Fury. They know how to snap a punch. Fury was dropped by Steve Cunningham, who is basically a cruiserweight and much smaller and lighter. Fury went the distance with a VERY old Wlad Klitschko. He also struggled with grotesque fire plug Drek Disorder.

Nobody outside of England is all that impressed, but the troubling thing is that this guy thinks that being obnoxious is a GOOD thing. That includes ranting about fags, screaming about abortion, and insisting that God gives him victories.

The guy is basically a pussy. What else do you say about a guy who talks trash and then once the fight is over, giggles and admits it was all an act, and that his opponent is actually a worthy adversary?

How much of a "novelty" is watching an acromegaly victim with a brain full of pus sing off-key and bully everyone with an Irish barroom mentality? He's the person you DON'T want to be sitting behind at a rock concert or football match, and the one that will make you instantly turn around and find another bowling alley or bar.

Eventually he'll somberly say through a mask of blood and lumps and bumps, "That's it, I've had a good run, all power to that black 6'2" guy who made me look like the chump I really am. I'll now breed another eleven children, and find one that I can name after him. And I hope that kid will be a champ someday, and have more skills and less of a big fat mouth."

Oh, big fat mouth...don't get me started on ADELE again....

Slap Wrist, Slap Wrist, There Goes Hansy - BREIN wins and loses

Brein of Holland is one of the most effective anti-piracy groups...but its citizens are some of the biggest abusers. After all, it was a Dutch Douche who proclaimed himself BLOGFATHER and arrogantly used over a hundred blogspot accounts to be "famous" literally at the expense of the artists he stole from. Of course here's a guy who also stole in person, and would go to the offices of record labels and fill his knapsack with "goodies" and hustle away.

BREIN wins one. Or do they? This was just a slap on the wrist. They spent a fortune just to get a cease and desist from some brat.

A real victory would be if Brein and the United Nations and ICANN had every ISP block the torrents, and round up the torrent owners and threw 'em all in jail, with heavy fines.

A real victory would be if "safe harbor" was eliminated and everyone from EBAY to GOOTUBE had to make sure that what was uploaded or sold was legit. No more of this caveat bullshit: "I own copyright" or "It's public domain" or it's "Free under rules of Free Speech."

This 20 year-old demon got to keep the ad money he made, didn't pay any fine for all the money the studios lost, and can even come back with a new ISP if he feels like it. "Yah," he laughs, "I set up a laptop and some wi-fi and I get even with them for ruining my fun!"

It reminds me of a prick in the USA who keeps getting on eBay to sell dupe photos of movie stars, and another who Photoshops dirty pix of them. Doesn't matter to eBay. If the new ID doesn't match EXACTLY (ISP, name, phone number, bank account) they say it's not the same person and don't give an automatic suspension. Doesn't matter if this person even sent death threats to rights owners. He's back in good standing, and as always, the greedhead gets a dozen warnings before he's even inconvenienced with a month's suspension. By then he's got another five accounts all ready to go.

Are the torrents ready to go? Hell no. They are protected by the great Internet Fascist Monopoly. Every stinking monolith from Comcast to Google makes money off every Internet user and all that lovely traffic on Piracy sites. Morality in the 21st Century is as dead as most everyone will be within the next 20 years. Seriously. One of today's headlines is: "Climate Change Brings Urgency to Paris Meetings." Yes, the same Paris that had 100 citizens killed and hundreds more physically and emotionally scarred. Obama and his chums aren't talking about how the Muzzies are destroying the world...but how climate change is doing it.

ANDY PEEBLES, nasty little has-been grave-robber Yoko-hater.

Well, well, it's that time of year again.

Time for the maggots to wriggle around John Lennon's corpse. Oh, wait. He was cremated. Ah, so the parasites can simply spit their venom and exhale a load of lies and bile about him. AND...feed that "Yoko broke up the Beatles" fire.

Yes, BBC (bratty Britsh cocksucker) Andy Peebles actually sneers several times in his London Daily Mail article, that she BROKE UP THE BEATLES. That when he first set eyes on her, that's ALL he could think about.

Peebles is upset he isn't world-famous because he happened to do the last interview with John and Yoko. So he's using the 35th Anniversary to jump up and down and call attention to himself.

Part of the shit in the Daily Mail...

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I have to say that up until now, I never heard of this fuckhead Peebles.

I probably listened to some of this prat's John and Yoko interview, but frankly, a lot of disc jockeys and interviewers released or leaked their audio of talking with John and Yoko in 1980, and none of it was that interesting. The questions were boring and usually John was impatient and testy, and Yoko very polite in trying to overly-explain what they were doing. At this point "Double Fantasy" is not a particularly enduring album and even then, Lennon interviews could be less than thrilling. I remember some amusing audio with a local NYC disc jockey who pretty much let John do the weather, say Goonish things, and take over the station for a while. I can't even remember his name, but he sure wasn't a dullard like Peebles.

In most cases, interviewers are very uncharismatic and anonymous drones who ask questions and then sit back and expect the celebs to do all the work. They often rely on who they're working for (like the BBC) to force the subject to sit and endure their total lack of personality.

It's sad that in this case, Yoko actually thought Peebles was a friend, and did several more interviews with him, and even flew him to expensive resorts where he could be quite the lamprey and enjoy himself thoroughly. Now that he's a retired nobody, he's turned around to bite the hand that literally fed him.

Several times Peebles expresses intense jealousy of somebody called Sam Havadtoy, the cipher who may or may not have had a 20 year relationship with Yoko. (Was this before, after or during Elliot Mintz or any number of other assholes the press insists were replacements for John?)

He intimates that "I'm Losing You" was written by John in jealousy over Havadtoy, and seems to be insisting that when John was off with May Pang, this was Yoko's excuse to go fuck a Lennon look-alike. Hardly classy of you to bring up, Mr. Andy. Why is it that this guy can scream about Yoko's bad music, and mediocre art, and yet indulge himself in the worst of catty backstabbing?

Peebles seems to insist that Yoko has used John's death to her advantage. As opposed to what, shutting herself up at The Dakota and never going out in the street? Tell me, Andy, what IS the right procedure when you've seen the love of your life shot down in front of you?

While you were sipping your tea and rubbing your hands over your good fortune in having "the last interview," figuring you'd be replacing Parkinson on TV and soon take over Carson's "Tonight Show," Yoko was taking care of Sean. She was mourning. AND she took time to release a reassuring statement to Lennon fans who were feeling very fucking suicidal. Yoko's calm, her spirituality, and her caring for others, led her to take a few moments to help others deal with this hell.

Peebles is acting like Yoko instantly set up art exhibits and did talk show appearances and checked with Capitol on how soon she could release a solo album.

Oh, speaking of solo work, Andy boy, did you know that Yoko is the oldest woman to have a #1 disco single? ON HER OWN. Her "bad" music has sold quite a bit. It's not like she's taking a loss every time and using major labels for vanity projects.

Andy, when millions of people ask Yoko to release anything John did, to offer up his artwork, to market John memorabilia, what do you think she should do? Say NO, it's commercial? Hide it all away? And do you think she's done a decent job along with the others, in choosing what Beatles material to be released and when? And don't you think Lennon would be happy that she absolutely refused to let McCartney turn the credits around on "Yesterday" to McCartney-Lennon? Has she not done a good job of managing the estate? Has she not made peace with Julian and kept Sean from being a problem child? What IS your fucking problem, Andy Peebles?

If you don't like her music or her art, fine. You can critique it or ignore it. But character assassination and gossip is contemptible. So is seething that the woman may have actually gone to bed with somebody after her husband was killed. Or that, gasp, she may have been slightly neurotic about having him dress up or style his hair like John.

I guess Peebles didn't feel like going into anti-John mode, as some other writers have, and listing all his failings. Nope, to get attention to himself he's scapegoated Yoko only.

Lastly, who IS this fucking Andy Peebles? There are so many nobodies who toady and cocksuck their way into positions at the BBC or Rolling Stone or any other network or media. They contribute nothing, really. They are inter-changeable. You can count on your fingers the number of truly interesting, witty and capable interviewers there have been in print or on late night or radio. I don't think this guy makes the Top 100.

Peeples is a weeble. He wobbled from fawning over Yoko and jetting the world with her to hobbling her with innuendo, sanctimonious opinion and finger-pointing. Peebles is a peephole peeper, jealously looking at what actual creative people do, and then whispering about it after. Peebles is just plain feeble. Too fucking bad that Chapman wasn't nearsighted, and that Peebles wasn't shot in the back on December 8th. Believe me, nobody would care about THAT anniversary, and nobody would be wondering what great things he would've done had he lived, what happened to his drawings, or whether he had an affair with Sam Havadtoy.

Jennifer Szulman a Daily News twat WRONG about "RIGHTS"

I can't imagine the New York Times running a piece on "how EBAY sellers give you great pdf bootlegs of best sellers for a third of what Amazon charges. Just type in an author and add KINDLE or eBook or PDF and get a bargain."

I can't even imagine the New York Post cheering, "Wow, moments after Robin Williams killed himself, EBAY sellers were putting his face on hats, t-shirts and memorial "R.I.P. Robin" buttons! They were making lots of money!!"

I have to revise my thinking with the Daily News. Their reporter Jennifer Szulman delighted in giving a huge plug to somebody who STEALS celebrity faces and puts them on underwear.

Hey Jen, EBAY sellers do this all the time. They steal celebrity photos and dupe them. Photoshop the heads onto porn images and sell them. They put the photos on mousepads and hats and t-shirts. They laugh because EBAY is "just a venue" and, as always, it's up to the rights owners to find the abuse and send in a DMCA.

What makes this right? That it's a bitch putting Bea Arthur's face on underwear, and not a prick putting the Batman logo on a hat? Or some fuckhead offering "entire collection of George R.R. Martin" books on a CD-R?

What's the deal, Jen, you got a free set of undies? You know the bitch who is exploiting "The Golden Girls?"

Why don't you check ETSY and see some really creative people who knit, crochet or hammer together original items that are all their own? They could use some attention, not a witch who makes unauthorized souvenirs.

You'd think someone whose work is copyrighted would be aware of how important it is that the Internet, from GooTube to EBAY to ETSY and back, stop STEALING and COPYING everybody else's work.

Too bad the owners of "Golden Girls" copyright will just shrug and say, "Oh, let's not ruin the fun." Or rationaliz, "It's good publicity."

SOME rights owners ("Star Trek" and Disney come to mind) would instantly shut this bitch down. Too bad those companies are in the minority. They are also so overrun with abuse they can't get to it all, and the huge number of copyright abusers figure they won't get caught, won't be sued, and won't have to give back their profits.

And nevermind that most bootleg products are shoddy and don't last. After all, this ETSY bitch didn't license this material so doesn't have to answer to anyone who expects quality on "Golden Girls" merchandise.

Like the bloggers and torrent pricks before them, ETSY swine like this can shout "Victory! We've overwhelmed the rights owners! Copyright is COPYWRONG! Har har!

The pessimistic story "Leinengen vs the Ants" indicates that mob rule is inevitable, and parasites will hold dominion, and maggots will not only feast on the dead but kill in order to lord over the carrion.

Ebay Whore "ATTILA THE HUN" Thunders Her Thighs

Yeah, it's Holiday Time. So who wouldn't want some whore's smelly underwear and pictures?

ATTILA, who addresses prospective bidders as HUN is at it again.

EBAY has some excuse or other for letting sluts and slobs and whores sell their crap. There's no legit reason for allowing these bitches to show their crotches (and a few extra spread-twat shots) when the item for sale is just knickers. In the "normal" section of eBay, people use mannequins or just put the item on a desk top and photograph it.

In the "adult" section it's obviously not about selling underwear. It's about whores selling themselves, and using a fake underwear ad to start up with phone sex and hook-ups.

Is EBAY a Craigslist swinger site? It sure is, when they allow ludicrous ad copy about getting "800 pix of ME, HUN" or coy remarks like "I smell nice" or "I love getting messages. Ask me anything."

Desperation is EBAY, and PATHETIC is anyone who'd buy anything off this repulsive bitch with her grubby genitalia and spotty skin.

She has an ad for her disgusting underwear, and she thinks it's sexy to also pose (sideways) with the garment in her mouth.

The cow thinks it's sexy to smear diarrhea on her eyelids and pucker her mouth like a rhino's anus.

There seems to be a sewage problem in California. This huge piece of shit won't go down the drain. It circles EBAY, week after week.

You Will be SO SOLLY, JAPAN

More good news. A big bright MOSQUE has opened in Japan.

Asia, which has yellow, slant-eyed people impervious to Whitey and blacks, Latinos, and everyone else...is saying Hello to Terrorism.

You will be SO SOLLY.

WHAT is the big allure of Islam? If you choose to believe in ALLAH over Jesus or Moses or Buddha or anyone else, you are aligned with the most dangerous, powerful and fanatical bunch of terrorists in the world. What fun.

You get the false assurance that when they decide to blow up a building, a concert hall, or a restaurant, they'll choose one without Muslims in it. Fact is, if you're in there, they'll shrug and say, "Oh, lucky person, gets goats and virgins and stinky halal food!"

Who the fuck CHOOSES Islam as a religion? WHO the fuck says, "Hmm...this seems like something worth believing in?" Seems to me, it's someone hedging their bets. It's someone not only afraid there's no life after death, but someone afraid to believe in peace and good will. Or as Dylan sang it, "This world is ruled by violence."

You can bet the Russians feel a lot more secure with their maniac Putin in command, than whites do with Cameron or Obama. "Nobody is messing with Putin." Ha. It's the same syndrome where victims become loyal to the person who kidnapped them. It's the same way that people have always admired gangsters, the Mafia, and yes, Adolph Savage himself. People are always drawn to the dark side, it seems, and that includes folk heroes like Charles Manson, and shitty death metal groups and malcontent rap fuckheads.

Remember those sci-fi movies where the homicidal aliens land? There's always some asshole who rushes up to the ship and says, "You are a higher power than we are! We want to learn from you!" And BOOM, he gets his head knocked off.

Christ, learn from that!

The smart thing to do is close the borders and not give maniacs a chance to get in and fuck up your culture and start pushing you around.

The stupid thing to do is think that you can placate maniacs. Who blew up the Boston marathon? Islam lunatics who weren't getting laid enough, and hated seeing so many whites around them. Who blew up Paris? Same deal. Odd isn't it, that instead of praying to Allah to solve their problems, and to look in their fabulous Korn book, they chose to blow shit up.

So what happens when the Muzzies decide NOBODY should eat sushi? That little Japs can be easily frightened? That Allah believes everyone should be a Muzzie?

Paris is blowing a kiss to you, Japan: "Hiroshima, Mon Amour."

Considering that Japan is the nation that chose to attack Pearl Harbor and attempt world dominion, the irony IS delicious.

ROGER WATERS: BOYCOTT ISRAEL, KILL JEWS, TURN OVER THEIR GRAVES!

Q: ROGER, THANKS FOR TALKING TO ME, HERE AT YOUR ESTATE ON LONG ISLAND. I KNOW YOU HATE AMERICA, BUT YOU HAVE A HOME HERE.

R: Hate America? Why should I hate America, son?

Q: YOU HATE ISRAEL FOR TAKING AWAY THE LAND FROM THE PALESTINIANS. DIDN'T AMERICANS TAKE AWAY ALL THE LAND FROM THE CHEROKEE, SEMINOLE, SIOUX AND THE OTHER TRIBES?

R: Oh? They did, did they? Oh well. I think Peter Gabriel covered it when he wrote "Red Rain." Isn't that about Redskins?

Q: WHY DON'T YOU TELL THE WORLD TO BOYCOTT AMERICAN PRODUCTS?

R: Look, Sunny Jim, I'm Roger Waters, I created Pink Floyd, and I've got an army of Neo-Nazi fans who would gang up and kill you for me. Why don't you talk about how sensitive I am, you fucking kike? At least talk about my latest project!

Q: YOU MEAN YOUR 90TH RE-TREAD VERSION OF "THE WALL?" WILL YOU EVER DO ANYTHING BUT FLOG THAT SHIT?

R: You know I'm a perfectionist. I take my time till everything is right.

Q: WHAT'S RIGHT?

R: Scapegoating Jews! I have shot some preliminary footage for a documentary on The Final Solution.

Q: PART OF YOUR "NO LAND FOR JEWS" POLICY?

R: Damn straight, Lad! You're on my wavelength. I am a sensitive man, that's why I spend so much time working to destroy Israel.

Q: JEWS SHOULDN'T HAVE A HOMELAND?

R: Who said they should? Nobody! Israel belongs to Palest-eeeeenians! Moses said "Let My People Go," and guided them to the promised land, but it was really promised to the Palest-eeeeeenians! I know this! I am a scholar! Jews shouldn't have a homeland when they're alive or when they're dead! Jewish cemeteries are a waste of space.

Q: LET'S SEE THAT FILM CLIP WHERE YOU VISIT JEWISH GRAVES AND SPIT ON THEM.

R: Yes, it's terrible to see any land wasted on Jews.

Q: YOU HATE JEWS.

R: Not at all. Where do people get that idea? Some of my best friends are Jews. They just don't come forward and say so. I'm sure they agree Israel was never mentioned in any holy book as being for Jews. Jews don't deserve to have land, and when they die, their tombstones should be toppled over and swastikas spray painted on them.

Q: ISRAEL PRESERVES HOLY SITES THAT CHRISTIANS VISIT. FACE IT, IF THE MIDDLE EAST WAS JUST A SET OF MUSLIM COUNTRIES, THE WORLD WOULD BE DESTABILIZED. YOU COULDN'T VISIT THE PLACES CHRIST WALKED. MUSLIMS LIKE TO BURN DOWN CHURCHES. MUSLIMS WHO BARELY GET ALONG WITH THEMSELVES -- SHIITE VS SUNNI -- DO AGREE ON KEEPING OUT WHITES. AND YOU ARE AS WHITE AS A GHOST, PAL. YET YOU DON'T EVEN THINK JEWS SHOULD REST IN PEACE IN A CEMETERY

R: (winking) Come now, Jews should be cremated and tossed into the wind. "Dust in the wind...all we are are dust in the wind..."

Q: YOU DIDN'T WRITE THAT ONE. THAT'S KANSAS.

R: Christ, I have to remember that. What a strange idea, that I didn't write everything. I deserve all royalties. I should control everything. Pink Floyd is MINE! I take the money!

Q: AND THEY CALL JEWS MONEYGRUBBERS? YOU RELEASE THE SAME MUSIC OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

R: I've got a new angle for "The Wall." This time: "The Wailing Wall." There's a big wall, see, and we gather Jews like battering rams and smash them into it, and sing: "Another Kike in the Wall." My journey, my life's work of fomenting hatred for Israel and presenting myself as King Pink, is not over yet.

Sean Evans, my wonderful director, told me, "Your father would be proud to know your contribution to anti-Semitism, and how your criticism of Israel helps scapegoat Jews in so many ways. Especially with a new generation of kids."

Oh, when he said that about my father, I was gutted. I am so sensitive. My biggest regret about my father is that he fought against Hitler. Why do that? Hitler had the right idea. Get rid of Jews and you have no problems.

Q: ISN'T IT THE MUSLIMS WHO ARE BLOWING PEOPLE UP AND TERRORIZING THE WORLD? WHEN DID JEWS DO THAT? HITLER WAS MURDERING JEWS WHO WERE TEACHERS, SCIENTISTS, ARTISTS AND THINKERS. THEY WEREN'T TELLING THE WORLD, "DRAW A PICTURE OF MOSES AND WE'LL FLY PLANES INTO OFFICE BUILDINGS."

R: Israel is the only country in the world that is apartheid! There's not an Arab or Palestinian or Christian there. They drink the blood of babies. They must be starved out of there and go away and give the Palest-eeeeenians everything. Yassir Arafat was a nice man. Hamas is a great organization. I've been over this before. Well, I have no more time, I've got to lie around here in The Hamptons and ponder how to make "The Wall" into a Broadway show, Netflix special and a brand of IUD. I'm also going to work on a directors cut of the documentary with extra footage, to be released a year after sales start waning on the current version. I'm so glad I'm SO rich, and I can live in luxury in one of the richest places in America.

Q: AMERICA MURDERED MILLIONS OF INDIANS AND TOOK THEIR LAND. YOU'RE OK WITH THAT? YOU'RE NOT FOR SANCTIONS AGAINST AMERICA UNTIL THEY GIVE ALL THE LAND BACK TO THE INDIANS?

R: (pointing a thumb backward at himself) Don't tell ME what to do! Owww...now you made me poke myself in the stomach! Owww, I'm gutted, absolutely gutted. Look, a black and blue mark on my ghostly white skin! I am gutted! I am SO sensitive. I am a perfectionist! Do you know how long it took me to find a uniform I could wear on stage that looked just like a Nazi one but wasn't? Where are you, father, they're trying to cruficy me! When der Fuhrer says we is da master race, we heil! Heil...

What did Dung-Faced Douchebag Dieudonne Do?

Hmmm, the media has chosen...to spare us those harsh jokes on The Chosen People.

Newspapers reporting on the fat monkey who thinks it's hilarious to say that Muslims and Christians should unite and kill Jews...fail to quote him.

Does he speak a particular dialect of Brussels Sprout? Or Cameroon-ebonics? Nobody can translate asshole-into-English?

Nope nope. No actual QUOTES.

Maybe it's a good thing, because so many would be repeating those words, putting them on t-shirts, and sending them through the mail to anyone with a Jewish name — liberally sprinkled with Ricin.

Oh, speaking of hilarious, how about that Nazi maniac in America who ran around shooting at people in a nursing home that he THOUGHT were Jewish? All he killed were Christians. But I digress.

What's irksome here is that some pantywaists and Jew-Liberal assholes huff, "Oh, Freedom of Speeeeeeeeeech." They do this without knowing exactly what that speech was.

They seem to think this guy said something roaringly funny and was being jailed for it, like a latter-day Lenny Bruce. That's clearly not the case. There is a difference between jokes and inciting people to riot. Just saying "It's a joke" doesn't make it so. Had the media bothered to quote this guy actually saying, "Muslims and Christians should unite and kill Jews, ha ha ha," we'd have a much better reason to AGREE with the judge who sentenced him to jail.

It's also interesting that NOBODY was defending Brigitte Bardot's free speech. Why? Because she wasn't telling the antisemites of the world that Jews shouldn't be in France. She said MUSLIMS shouldn't. Specifically, ones that won't lean the language or observe common customs in clothing.

Bardot got threatened with jail. HaD to SHUT THE FUCK UP. Wasn't allowed to express her OPINION. And nobody huffed that she should be entitled to "Freedom of Speech."

So why is there a defense of this gorilla, who is obviously making a fortune being a provocateur, and being on the Hitler-side that is always bullying and bellicose?

Two months in the slammer is nothing compared to the fame he's gotten. Most never heard of this bastard before now. And yet, people leave comments of outrage below the story, and Tweet their indignation: How DARE a "comedian" be jailed!

Only he wasn't jailed for being a comedian. Hate speech and suggesting murder and genocide isn't exactly something out of The Two Ronnies scripts. It wasn't even spoken by Alf Garrett or Archie Bunker in a sitcom.

Many shrugged about the Charlie Hebdo MURDERS, saying, "Freedom of speech is ok, BUT they were drawing cartoons of Mohammed so they were asking for it. Respect humorless Muzzies!" Tolerance for Muslims, yes. For Jews, not so much. It seems to be barely 50-50 in the comments section of most Internet newspapers. Some cheer the jailing, others huff about wrong it is.

The latter think that Jews should continue to live like scapegoats and accept the kind of abuse NO other racial or ethnic group accepts. Whatever this monkey said...if you changed it to Muslims, Palesteeeeenians, Latinos, even dumb fucking Poles, he probably would be serving a YEAR in jail, and NOBODY would be defending him.

Tom Lehrer, 50 fucking years ago, sang about the irony of "National Brotherhood Week." In reality: "The white folks hate the black folks, the black folks hate the white folks...and EVERYBODY HATES THE JEWS!"

He got gales of laughter on that one, because it's a comic truth. He meant it for laughs and he got them. He's also Jewish.

Meanwhile, aside from Nazis, some stupid, spindly Jewish pseudo-intellectuals are getting on their hind legs and yelping, "I may not agree with what he says but I'll defend to the death his right to say it.." Yeah? You won't be waiting long, unless "you don't look Jewish."

At the end of the day, it comes down to: "Do no harm." And, if possible, "do some good." This guy is only doing good for his bank account and for antisemitic Muslims and Skinheads. And Roger Waters.

Roger would probably love to cast him as "The Wall" in his 89th version of that stupid album. "Yes," says Roger, "I'd like all my fans to buy the French language edition with the schvatza doing that adorable downward Nazi salute, and floating a pig balloon. He's my kind of guy. "Was Israel even mentioned in the Bible? I think not. I think it was always called Palestine, and back then, Palesteeeeeenians were all either Muslims devoted to Mohhamad, or Christians, devoted to Jesus of Nazareth. Either way, they deserve to take whole possession of Israel, call it Palestine, and kick out those fucking Jews. JESUS, we all know Christianity and Islam came before JUDAISM!"

SURFER TWAT - SHAUNA'S ZUNSHINE ALBUM

"Hello GUYSSSSS!

"A cheap Dutch douche named Hans didn't contribute to my Kickstarter campaign, but he suggested a great idea for an album. He told me I'd be sure to make money if I got creepy pervs involved.

"He means the kind of ugly fat old men that crave young girls! You know, like Darren Lox and Bill Hoobastank. And Hans. Although I think he likes the boys more.

"Anyhoo, Hans told me that considering how I'm built, and that nobody cares about my Taylor Swift covers, I should sing oldies and get old lechers involved.

"The cover for my new album is the best thing Hans has seen since the banned one for 'Blind Faith'!" How flattering! And I'm flatter than that cover girl!"

SONGS INCLUDE:

SURF HANS U.S.A.
HANS HANS HANS
HELP ME HANSY
LITTLE DOUCHE TWAT
BE TRUE TO YOUR TWAT
CALIFORNIA TWATS
TWATTIN' SAFARI
I TWAT AROUND
TWAT VIBRATIONS
TWAT ONLY KNOWS
IN MY TWAT
TWAT SOUNDS
KOKOMORON

YAYYYY, the fake bitch's auction got stopped. (So put up 4 more)

You remember this one:

Grrrrl power! Yaayyyyyy!

BUT, was that REALLY a photo of the frisky EBAY seller?

FUCK NO. Absolutely not.

It's just some jerk using a girly name, selling some slag's nudie pix that HE downloaded off 4Chan.

And he has several girly identities on EBAY, too.

To their credit, eBay wasn't impressed with the phony ad copy about how there wouldn't be NUDE pictures sent, just shots of the girl "fooling around."

So did this con artist go away?

Nope. Just snuck into the "adult" section of the site to put up more. He's hoping to snag some gullible moron into spending five bucks for a few jpgs sent by e-mail. How shabby. This cretin would rather work a cheap con to steal a fiver off some fool.

"A DAY IN MY LIFE!" How many eBay bidders notice that these "Day in my Life" auctions are all from the SAME seller ID?

In the "YAYYY" ad, he claimed to be the girl in the photo.

In these, there's no ad copy. Maybe he was too busy, heading out to cop some heroin or something. These ads just say if you're the lucky winner you'll get a whole set of photos. He doesn't even mention that these will be shitty jpgs e-mailed, and not even real photos.

Of course it would be nice of EBAY insisted a prick like this state "under penalty of perjury" that these photos were legit, and "I can send your lawyers signed model releases of age and consent."

Did you know that in the ETHICAL world of porn, every slut doing a porn shoot not only must sign a form, but must also give her driver's license or passport as PROOF? That's right. She might want to called Kitten McSlut in the movie, but by LAW, she has to pose with a copy of photo ID in front of her, so everyone can see it's really her...and that her real name, address and AGE are now ON RECORD.

This fuckhead just downloads some pictures and tries to swindle people.

Pretty sleazy for EBAY, the site that thinks it's competing with AMAZON.

Shauna Plots her Makeovers

"Hmmm, if I get my bandmates' most remarkable features added to mine...like Bill Hoobastank's whimsical grinning teeth, and Darren Lox's super-kewl sporty sidies..."

She isn't sure if she'd ask Bill or Darren to transplant their huge ass cheeks onto her chest. If she does, that's where the eyes will go.

But would her first time involve getting fucked between the tits?

Bookmaker William Hill declares: "I'll bet her first dick goes in her mouth...anything to stop her singing."

Mouth: 2-1.

Twat: 5-1.

Asshole: why mention Darren Locke? Besides, he's no virgin that way. His soft urgent voice in GooTube videos is the direct result of him sitting on his favorite butt-plug: "The one I got from Amazon. Very sturdy. Did you know that hummus makes a good cleanser for a butt plug? I learned that trick from the Muzzie next door."

DONKEY KONG ASSHOLE BILLY MITCHELL is a LOSER in COURT and in LIFE

Hey, a big FUCK YOU, LOSER to Billy Mitchell, some idiot who apparently spends his life playing video games.

It's a double-edged sword up your ass, Billy. If you want "fame" for being a nerd who is (sometimes) the best Donkey Kong player in the world, then that "fame" includes being a public figure TO BE LAUGHED AT.

Here's smug beaver-faced Billy, who thinks he's SO KEWL. When was the last time you got laid? I mean, by something other than your well-exercised fist and arm or a plastic blow-up doll?

It's pathetic but true: the more tenuous the fame, the more litigious the asshole. Think about Kenny Kramer, or don't. In this case, moneygrubbing Mitchell figured, in all seriousness, that you are NOT allowed to make fun of a "gamer." The President, yes. A "gamer" no.

Below is the full news story on this ANTI-JESUS OF COOL. I mean the totally absurd, self-centered, get-a-life idiotic not-in-the-real-world Billy Goat Mitchell. (PS, that last line is protected by FREEDOM OF SPEECH. I'm stating my opinion that Billy is a shit headed moron; I'm not stating for a fact that his brain IS shit, which could only be proven by a well-advised lobotomy.)

JUSTICE!

From "Family Guy" and "The Simpsons" to "Weird Al" (to use the lowest, most childish forms of parody around), famous names and faces and products have been tweaked. Sometimes it's good natured. Sometimes it's scorn-tinged ridicule.

Nope, you don't get PAID because you've been referenced in a cartoon, anymore than if you're quoted in a newspaper ("fair use").

At least whining, whinging non-winning weirdo Billy didn't try to blow up the offices of the satirists. That's put him just a notch above the bearded fanatics of Islam. He also isn't spending his life trying to win hot dog eating contests, and literally wasting good food by turning it into nothing but shit. AND, he's not TILLIE Mitchell, the cocksucker who caused a million dollars in damages and one death, by having nothing better to do than play games with murderers and help them escape.

Hopefully this putz will have to pay the court costs for being such a DOPE.

Have I mentioned that I go a step beyond Jimmy Kimmel on this? Kimmel got into trouble by satirizing idiots who go on YOUTUBE to WATCH PEOPLE PLAY VIDEO GAMES. They don't want to learn techniques for winning a particular game. They do it because they are obsessed anti-social idiots.

Yeah, I played Berserk and some Super Mario. I wasn't big on DONKEY KONG for fuck's sake, and I got over it very quickly. I didn't progress to 3D and vicious and violent "realistic" games or other insanities.

The best advice anyone could get is to trash your fucking SEGA or NINTENDO and get back into the real world. Say: "GAME OVER!!!!!"

Pip! Pip! England's Psycho "Adult-Baby" Piss Fetishist is Back

The psycho who was offering drippy "downloads" of insane "mind control" ways to WET YOUR DIAPER AT NIGHT, is back.

Oh, what a pro. Now he's offering his deranged garbage on DVD-Rs he's made himself. With crayon labels?

Think the citizens of Oldbury aren't aware of this smelly cretin who walks around babbling to himself about how he wet his nappies last night?

Here's somebody that should be locked away in a rubber room. He is a relentlessly barking-mad piss fetishist whose entire world revolves around wearing a diaper at night and wetting himself. THIS IS HIS LIFE.

This crackpot is so demented he's put out a bogus, ridiculous auto-suggestion screeds (in PDF files burned to DVD now) that people are supposed to read and...wet themselves over? What else is on this psycho's DVD? Footage of himself in a diaper, pretending to be asleep, and the camera focusing on his sopping diaper? Maybe he reserves THAT for his "special" customers. Of which he averages maybe one every few MONTHS.

As they say, "you can't make this up." Bombarding EBAY with duplicate listings isn't childish enough. Neither is the delusion that his auctions "are not sexual." No? Piss fetishism and diaper fetishism has nothing sexual about it??

Now this pee-brain has put up even MORE cretinous auctions, including the above, where he expecets $30 for his idiot ravings mailed out on badly drawn DVD-Rs.

It's sad that England's mental health system has FAILED.

Here's someone who not only wastes his life waddling around in waste material, but has the clueless, crazed notion that he can "teach" bedwetting. Either that, or he just wants to use EBAY as a want-ad to share pictures and discuss diaper-wetting with another poor soggy sod.

You don't want an idiot in a soiled diaper down on all fours on a public street, and you don't want the jackass on EBAY either.

This brain-dead diaper-ass is so obsessive it doesn't matter that he's only made 7 sales in SIX MONTHS.

He ONLY sells this diaper shit, nothing else. NEVER buys anything. Every week he puts up five or ten of these crazed auctions and checks EBAY every hour to see if he sold one, or if he got some pervert to PM him.

It doesn't help sales that most of his positive feedback is just "it arrived." So many stupid eBay bidders leave an instant positive just because "it arrived."

Factor that he probably bought and shilled his own item a few times to leave "great, it works" feedback, and that hardly counters the NEGATIVES.

As long as he's got a nappy and he's taking the piss, he's marginally in control of himself? I think his neighbors would have another story to tell.

We're talking about someone who makes and LABELS DVD-R "wet your nappy" nonsense. Do these look like the work of a sane man?

Dr Martin Baggaley, medical director of the South London and Maudsley NHS Trust, and Care Minister Norman Lamb have both gone on record as saying there isn't enough adequate care for loonies like PIPP the PISSER. The situation is "unacceptable," and when you have a raving maniac ranting and crying on EBAY every day, running multiple auctions for delusional DVD-Rs, then that's the proof. This guy couldn't be any more of a twisted twerp than if he dragged his dog to boot sales and foamed at the mouth over Matt Monro 45's.

Book Bootlegs? Irish Cocksucker has ALL the answers (and books)

Begorrah. And what do we have here?

Another self-entitled fucking Millennial? No, not quite.

This isn't just a lone wolf who decided he could download SEVEN THOUSAND eBooks off Kickass, put 'em on a DVD, and laugh all the way to the bank over EBAY's non-rules.

EBAY policy is that as long as eBooks can be mailed, instead of downloaded, it's legal to sell them. It's part of their "we're JUST a venue" attitude. As well as their "we'll enforce what we feel like enforcing" attitude. Same way smelly panties aren't legal but smelly pantyhose or socks are.

Pretty blatant, huh?

EBAY is saying to authors, "Fuck you all. We'll get 15% of this bootlegger's money, so $2 or $3 is great for us. So what if this item means that the jerk with the iPad or Kindle now has ALL the books he'll ever need in his own lifetime, and will NEVER buy anything. Fuck authors! Hooray technology!"

How lovely, that bullshit about "public license." During the prime years of Hans Demented assholes giving away music on blogs, the notion was a caveat about a "commons" rule trumped copyright. That, or "this is for review purposes only." Here, according to some obscure Communist manifesto somewhere, under "public license" this guy can make royalties from any author's work. Because copyright is COPYWRONG as long as it's not your copyright. As long as somebody isn't stealing YOUR "hard work." You can bet this guy would be raging if somebody was selling the same item at a dollar less.

Notice the "Click here" links? Ha ha ho ho hee hee. This prick doesn't want to give his pimp, EBAY, much of a percentage. Those links are to one of the many "our server is in Russia, fuck you" sites where people can get amazing "bargains" on download books.

Since this DVD is for SEVEN THOUSAND thrillers, if you want non-fiction you go to the "CLICK HERE" site and buy anything you want at the bargain price of 99 cents each.

You remember the "ru" sites where anybody's new album was 99 cents? Amazing! Except eventually these sites fell away because so many other sites emerged offering it all FREEEEEE with malware and spyware.

So this prick either runs the renegade outfit and is using eBay to get more site traffic, or is getting a commission on every "click through" that can be traced to his EBAY ad.

Attention authors: your books should be 99 cents. If you don't agree, too bad. If you DO agree, too bad because there are even more websites saying "FREEEEE." So what do you do? Oh, use the "fame" of being an author to teach brainless Millennials in a high school somewhere at starvation teacher wages. Or sell t-shirts!

Kitty's Litter STINKS Again

Why is it fat, ugly, boxy twats like to call themselves "Kitten?"

Here she is again. The extremely smelly and ugly "KITTEN." You remember the last time we saw her? She was thrusting her fat ugly ass out, showing off her ridiculous flower-pattern cotton knickers. Oh the "AROMA," she promised.

In that ad, she scolded about how "malicious" reporting of her auction would be "investigated by eBay." Right. Which is why her auction was removed. They investigated, they decided she was an obnoxious herring-cunt.

So she tried again the other day:

Christ, who would WANT this fat bitch's laundry? $40 gets you her leggings and pantyhose? And they're guaranteed to have "aroma" in them, and some cat hairs? Yum!

Here's the copy, complete with the usual power-bitch warning that nobody better interfere with what she's doing, because she's entitled to do as she pleases.

Even an illiterate would know this repulsive swine was in the "adult" section to have guys sniff her and pay money for sexual favors.

You want to sell actual pantyhose or tights? You show that junk lying on a bed, say "it's all been cleaned," and hope for the best. You don't add all that innuendo and greasy come-on crapola.

Women are stupid, aren't they? Write idiot copy like that and you get what you deserve.

Kitty's litter got dumped. She's probably been told that the next stinky tantrum she throws on eBay will be her last.

ISIS disrupts Paris? ADELE squats on New York

Oh, here's a Rolling Stone headline for you:

THE WORLD IS SAVED.

While Turkey has the nerve to shoot down a Russian plane, while Brussels endures a crippling shutdown over Muzzies, while Paris tries to recover from a psycho attack, ADELE has been thudding her huge weight all over New York, determined to infect the USA with the same sweaty "Adele Fever" that England has.

This impossibly ordinary fat whore has stomped all over "Saturday Night Live," late night TV, morning TV...and in shrewd fashion, has done it all for NBC. Nasty Bitch Cunt. She obviously made some fat-package deal: "I'll do ALL your top shows, exclusively, if you fawn over me like I'm the Queen of England."

Good Lord, somebody isolated her vocals on "Saturday Night Live" and magically "leaked" it to YouTube (where it COULD be removed by DMCA). This is considered the miracle of the ages.

I happened to flip the dial and saw her with puppy Fallon on NBC's "Tonight Show." I thought, as with Springsteenk, "Let's give it ONE MORE TRY. Everybody on the fucking PLANET loves this idiot, so there must be SOMETHING there for me, too."

NO. There wasn't.

The song she bellowed was tuneless. Her singing style is NOTHING. Streisand was there first. If you really think that power is everything, go check out Lara Fabian, folks. She is ten times better than this cow. PS, what happened to Susan Boyle?

Aside from inflicting cynical, commercial, pre-fab music and lyrics on the world, this boxy-bodied bint is a full out phony and when she speaks, she's repulsively low class and disgusting. And yeah, her "cackle" is the worst of it. NO charm at all.

What comes out of her greasy lips is jarringly coarse and stupid. She might as well curse every other word. There was charm to the Cockney accent, and probably still is, if you can find it among the Muslim and Hindu babble. Put it this way, if he heard Adele, Henry Higgins would've given up.

Her overly made-up face looks like the work of Madame Tussaud. From the cleft chin to the carefully plumped lips, to the droopy eyes and laser-etched eyebrows, not to mention the inane wig, this ugly duckling got made-over into...a HEN. That's all. This is what every ugly hen on the planet would want to look like: a grotesque glamour mask.

Lucky Adele; her awful album appeared when nothing else was going on, except rumblings from the equally awful Bieber, and from One Direction, and neither are competition for her overfed low-class middle-aged twat audience.

Queen Cocksucker has blown town, and it was supposed to make way for the Bieber Blitz. BUT...happily, something's gone wrong in this maniac punk's world.

Oh sorrowful day. ADELE suffocates New York City, but Bieber won't give it a few farts, too. This was the big deal: Bieber as the star of the Thanksgiving Day Parade promotions. His first stop was to be "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" (the awful anemic pest who replaced Letterman.).

He Tweeted to smarmy, irritating talk show host Stephen Colbert: "thank you for the understanding as sometimes life kicks our ass and we need to deal with it. I will see u soon. Thank you." He skipped Colbert's drily effete Thanksgiving show and a bunch of crap he was going to pre-tape for the Thanksgiving parade. Aw, what's CBS gonna do? Try and grab One Direction?

This has been a horrible week for those who are finding it more and more difficult to endure POP CULTURE. The hideous One Direction, complete with their ridiculous hairstyles and their solemn mumbling blandness, were given almost the entire Jimmy Kimmel Show a few nights ago. Kimmel, a noted sadist, cooked up the lame idea of having a potato join the group.

Yeah. Har har. Smirking broadly, he brought out a raw potato, noted it cost him 58 cents, and asked the four zombies if they would accept the potato into their group. Clearly bewildered, but playing along with an American comedy genius, the awkward bozos made a place for the potato, a photo was taken and posted to Instagram, and Kimmel sneered at how quickly it got 70,000 LIKES.

"Are we having fun yet?"

Last night Kimmel spent the entire hour promoting the new "Star Wars" movie, featuring interviews with new cast members, and rolling out R2D2 (where was Bill Hoobastank to get a picture with it?) The big "gets" were Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford, who both comically "cursed" on the air, but were censored. I don't think British TV is so prudish and ridiculous. Somehow, the shock value of a curse word is RUINED when the sound suddenly is cut and the person's mouth blurred.

Carrie was seen holding up the ugly wig she wore in the movie. With Kimmel urging her to put it on, she said she would never wear the fucking thing again. She managed to curse several times, pretending to be bored with the only thing anyone knows her for. For Harrison Ford's segment, Kimmel, like any good nerd, began to hum the "Star Wars Theme." The script called for Ford to angrily shout "Shut the fuck up!" Oh, the hilarity! We got to hear "Shut the UP!"

Meanwhile a new show produced by BOZO JEFF BEZOS for streaming AMAZON, is being "tastefully" promoted. It's about "What would've happened if Germany and Japan won the war." Yes, Fascist Bezos, who went to the Hitler playbook to make AMAZON a mega-power, does have his happy dreams.

He even appalled New York by having prototype subway cars done with Nazi emblems and Japanese flags.

PS, when did it become standard practice for EVERY fucking Internet newspaper website to quote TWITTER idiots? Who's this NIGGA named Josh? Anyone? NOBODY. It's not like he's Obama giving a Tweet, or a respected journalist. We can't go to TWITTER ourselves, we have to get this shit thrown in our face? "Here's a sample of what's being TWEETED about this issue..."

Imagine there's no TWITTER.

Try to remember when music and TV shows gave us some diversion from the real world! Remember when there wasn't disposable "reality" shows or dimwits like the Kuntrashians and Viley Virus showing us their asses every other day? Remember when pop singers aspired to enduring art with songs that would stand the test of time?

Hey, now the fucking planet isn't looking like it'll stand the test of time.

Here's Pooty-Poot (as Dubya loved to call him) muttering about how the Muzzies shot down one of his planes. Aw, amid propping up all kinds of dictatorships, he forgot to placate Turkey. Oh well, you don't grease everyone's palm with money, or buy all their oil and heroin, and they get into a holy snit.

Nice going, Pooty-Poot. Maybe it's time that you, France, England, America, and sleepy giant China, ALL got together and squashed these fucking religious fanatics while there's still time.

Still time? Oops. Maybe not. Ethnic immigrants don't realy assimilate. They create their own neighborhoods. They are clannish. They retain their customs. In the old days it at least meant tourist-friendly Little Italy and Chinatown. Now it's no-go zones for Dominicans and Blacks and Koreans and even Orthodox Jews.

The fucking Orthodox Jews carved out their area of Brooklyn long ago, and haven't let go. Another set of maniac Jews practically own a town in New Jersey. Anything Jews can do, Muzzies can do better. There's a Muzzie town in upstate New York that almost refuses to allow anyone else to come in.

You'd think the American mid-West wouldn't let this Liberal shit happen, but there are entire towns made up of Somali assholes (who bought the town from all the money they made via ransom of pirated ships) and...

As the genius Eric Idle says, "Always look at the bright side of life." More ethnics means you can have an alternative to Thanksgiving turkey. Like, hummus. There might be neighborhoods that aren't throbbing with Christmas decorations in every window and lights tied around every (supposedly public property) tree. Fat bearded old guys have to stay home and get drunk because nobody's hiring them to go to the mall and listen to what Christian brats want as gifts.

Hell, there are white people who aren't even going to do anything for Thanksgiving because visiting relatives is "too dangerous." Go on a plane? Be in a bus terminal? It isn't even "What will Jesus do?" It's what will the followers of ALLAH do!

Who's A Stubborn British Baby Pervert, Then? Is it you, Drippy Pipp?

Oh here's the pissed off baby-man again.

EBAY told him to STOP posting FIVE of the same fucking psycho-auction, as it violates eBay rules on flooding the site with overkill garbage auctions.

So he pulled his diapers down.

And then?

You guessed it. The stubborn baby re-upped them all, stamping his little baby feet and declaring "THIS IS NOT A DUPLICATE!"

Anything else, Lord of the Wet-Your-Diaper Sale?

"THIS IS NOT A SEXUAL ITEM."

Of course not, a man wearing diapers and pissing in them, is just doing it as a hobby.

No he isn't. Yes he is. No he isn't.

Clearly, this is a pedophile psychopath. This is someone who doesn't really care about the lousy $10 he might make.

He wants to meet other pedophile psychopath adult babies and is using EBAY as his swinger-contact website.

That's why he's so compulsive about re-upping every single time he's been shut down for duplication, for selling digital downloads (they are not DVDs) and for selling sexual items that are offensive as well as stupid. Keep your soggy diapers and your psychobabble between you and your fucking therapist, baby!

Is this guy's name HANS? He keeps on rattling his rattles, wetting his diapers, and like a bad Monty Python sketch (and weren't most of them pretty bad) annoyingly insisting that he isn't violating a ton of EBAY rules. No he isn't. YES HE IS...

Amy Wagstaff-Wetsome Wants $$ for TWAT CARDS

"Hello, people with money. My name is Amy. I'm a self-entitled piglet. Even though I'm a bit older than a Millennial, I have that same attitude: the world owes me a living.

"I'm SO glad Kickstarter and GoFundMe and the rest are helping me to NEVER grow up, and ALWAYS rely on favors. Mum and Dad just never did enough for me. But let's not get too Freudian as to why I insist my problems should be YOURS.

"I'm fascinated by diseases, such as false pride, conceit, egomania, and being a fat repulsive twat. While other people are out working, and dealing with the mundane miseries of jobs they don't like, I sit around...drawing twats! Like so!

"This is a sick twat! It'll give you an Ill Fuck! (Tee hee! >3 hun, :) and ^$*^!) Fap! Zowie!)

"No, all seriousness aside, I drew this twat myself. As you see, there's something wrong. It's got an arrow pointing into it!

"It was attacked by Indians. No, not the hummus-faced diaper-wearing type of Indians that don't like Pakis. I mean those American Indian creatures with the bows and arrows.

"There's also some sticky things on one of the labia. This happens to ME all the time. I stick a pack of Life Savers in my mouth all at the same time. Since I sit around naked (it's hard to find clothes that fit me), I drool and a Life Saver or two slip out. Oops, they end up stuck to my twat-lips!

"All kinds of things go wrong with twats, from herpes to syphilis, and from yeast infections to pulling out a tampon and seeing that it's now batter-dipped.

"I'd like to draw an entire SET of TWAT CARDS. "The twat is art!" I think Paul Simon said that.

"Anyhoo, I'd like YOU to help ME to make money FOR MYSELF. I'll sell the cards at fairs, in front of schools, on Ebay, and in the ladies room of the Grimsby Telegraph. Here's another twat!

"Ewww, hairy! This demonstrates my other idea; twat business cards!

"The idea is you buy a set of custom-drawn twat cards. You introduce yourself: "Hello, I'm Hans. I'm a twat. Here's my card."

"On the back is a list of your blogs, fake names, physical and mental diseases, and how much you like SOFT music and ZUNSHINE. And gouda. And using tampons anally. And your affection for Southerners who pretend to be dead. And how you can't stop giggling whenever anyone says 'BUSH.'

"Most people who are fat and ugly are shy. DON'T BE! Be arrogant, pushy and obnoxious, like Hans. And like...ME!

"I drew myself with a lot of herpes warts. It's just a matter of time, really. I thought I'd do it NOW so I wouldn't have to update the card later.

"In the old days, people worked, saved their money, and if they had an urge to publish a vanity record or book, they simply did it. They didn't ask strangers to indulge their egomania. They didn't pester their "friends" to donate money for their own vainglorious bullshit.

"Here's another thing of the past: if people had an actually good business idea, they went to a bank for financing.

"If somebody had faith in their art, they did it ON SPEC, for the JOY of it, and then sold it if they could. If a record label, art gallery or book company wasn't interested, well, that's how it goes. Now? The 'paradigm' NOW is we brats expect others to pay for our wants. Not our needs. Just shit we want.

"Thanks to free sites like Kickstarter, I can pester the world FREEEEE! Gee, it would be terrible if one day places like GOOTUBE and GOFUNDME actually made you PAY MONEY for the bandwidth you waste.

"For now, lah dee frickin' dah, everyone! Don't forget to LIKE my project, DONATE to me, tell me how WONDERFUL I am, and most of all, agree with me that I am one hell of a card-carrying TWAT!"