Dick Clark Dead Looks Better Than Dave Clark Live

The tabloids in England love to photograph DAVE CLARK...pointing out that he looks like some freakish character in a sci-fi movie.

It may come as news to most anyone else in the world that anyone from the DAVE CLARK FIVE is still ALIVE, as the band's career ironically matched their few hits: "Bits and Pieces" were all they were worth in 1964, "Catch Us If You Can" (because The Beatles are getting all the airplay) in 1965 and then "Over and Over" (it's OVER, guys) in 1965.

Just what Dave Clark's been doing in nearly the past 50 years has been of no interest to anyone except Dave Clark, and maybe a few wrinkly ladies who remember getting moist long, long ago watching the band. And maybe it was some other band member that they liked, not him.

It's amusing, if disgusting, how we age. Some of us look ok. Most of us are at least recognizable. Some celebrities do have the benefit of being able to go to the best specialists to minimize wrinkles and fat deposits and spotty bits.

Then there are the frightening few who ended up with Dr. Frankenstein and turned into monsters. Well, Dave, it could be worse. At least you are still a man. Two words: BRUCE JENNER.