Over here at DISGUST CENTRAL, I can report that she isn't really looking at TUMBLR's David Karp with lust when she does interviews promoting the incredibly moronic BILLION BUCKS she's spending on him.
In a fake interview with me, she said as much:
Me: "So tell me, rich bitch, why is it I no longer have a Geocities website for free because Yahoo pulled the plug claiming they had no money?"
She: "Uh, that was a different CEO, and an older one. Like, really. Get over it. Go get a TUMBLR account!"
Me: "Tell me, Brainless Cunt, couldn't you simply MAKE a TUMBLR site of your own? Why do you whore-maggots always wait around for something to get a buzz, and simply throw money at it and take it over like Nazi Commie swine? No creativity of your own?
She: "Can you just text your questions to me so I can delete them? You're making my brain bleed, and I don't have a Kotex with me."
Me: "In photos with Karp, some think you look like you're thinking about blowing him. That giving him 200 MILLION wouldn't be enough. Are you going to blow David Karp?"
She: "It's all about MONEY. That's all that motivates me and a sexless cretin like David Karp. He doesn't even know how to wank, because it's not a "joystick" and he's only a gamer. Although he does like TUMBLR being a place where he and other geeks can run AWESOME pictures of naked women. Mostly to wonder "where's the dick?"
Me: "Doesn't it embarrass you doing business with an ugly, socially-awkward dipshit geek like David Karp who runs a site that caters almost exclusively to porn assholes, chatty-idiot chicks, and repulsive fanboy morons that clog up bandwidth with shit nobody cares about?
She: "Srsly. R U 4 real?"
Me: "What's your problem, Snot Twat? I'm using sentences? I write FOR instead of 4? You can't follow?"
She: "Ewww! Ewww! Could you at LEAST put some cute smiley-icon at the end of your sentences? Pretty please?
Me: "Tell me, Prostitute Deluxe, what about how you will whore-up an "ad-free site" to try and make back that billion?
She: "Uh? Look, in a few years I'll run for Governor of California or something, like Meg Whitman. Grrrrrl powrrrr! Go away! DELETE!
Me: "Sorry, Self-Absorbed Muffler, you can't just DELETE me. Or take away my TUMBLR account. I don't have one. See, you Nazi-Commie Power-Mad Shits are all alike. You talk about freedom of speech when it involves not having to pay for copyrighted material, but if you don't like a blog, a forum, a point of view, POOF, it disappears into cyber-powder. When it suits you, you damn well DELETE an account. If something is inexcusable porn and shouldn't be seen by anyone under 18, you still don't remove it. You let people click it saying "hey I'm really over 18" and that's enough. In the real world, a porn store couldn't let a kid in just because he says he's 18. BUT...if you don't like something a person wrote, or a photo uploaded, you can remove the entire blog or close the account and simply point to YOUR "terms of service" which is that YOU reserve the right to do as you please at your "discretion," case closed. There ain't no freedom of speech if YOU don't want it! You just say "It's my site and my rules. And you can't sue me because the government is scared shitless and won't dare interfere with new and better laws. Because WE control so much of what you read now, not independent newspapers or TV news broadcasts!"
She: "Whatever, dude. Watch it. Somebody at Google might be sympathetic to ME, and not like you calling me names, and can your blog!"
Me: "Google? They're just laughing their asses off at how you're making an already-pathetic company worse. And until they get their monkey-see monkey-do streaming audio going, to cripple Pandora and Spotify (rather than BUY those companies for a billion) I could even post an entire discography of almost anybody I like and they wouldn't care! For how many years have they looked the other way on Blogspot to idiots giving away the entire Schwann catalog practically...letting them get fresh blogs any time they wanted, forcing copyright owners to endure the "chilling effects" of being hacked and harassed because Google posted the DMCA's? Only when Google wants to make money off streaming audio, or off YouTube videos that can make them money, do they suddenly have an interest in encouraging DMCA requests and in permanently kicking off anonymous thieves. But if they are making more money off the abuse, they'll ignore DMCA's as much as they can. And fines mean nothing to companies that can throw away BILLIONS, ya know."
She: "Thank GAWD. Srsly."
Me: "This is the kind of asshole geek you have at TUMBLR."
She: "OMIGOD!"
Me: "This is the TUMBLR blogger at his finest. I could've chosen some schmucks showing off their "Star Trek" memorabilia, or posing with their collection of Barbie dolls, or any number of the millions of useless, inbred, hopeless, illiterate fools out there. But this will do. HERE is an asshole who has nothing better to do than post old show business ads, old record album covers and old clippings nobody cares about...and he does it relentlessly hour after hour, with links to his Twitter page where he offers bird-brained incoherent remarks...with links to a Blogger page for more stupidity. All to get one or two hits from another clueless basement dweller who can press a button and LIKE something.
What the fuck happened to WRITING? To THOUGHT? To collecting things that are worthwhile? To knowing the difference between being alive and wasting one's time?
She: "I'm worth thousands of dollars a minute."
Me: "Like a Las Vegas whore. Only you keep your cunt a lot more pristine, I suppose. Would you show me it for a billion dollars?"
She: "I guess so."
Me: "How about for five bucks?"
She: "WHAT? What do you take me for?"
Me:"We know what you are. We're just arguing about price."
She: "That's it, I'm outta here. I'm not even going to throw you a PEACE OUT."
Me: "Congrats on making a lot of Internet noise. Congrats for adding to the cyber-pollution out there, and to TUMBLR-ass FACEBOOK-ass TWITTER-ass places where there's no thought, just self-propelled turdy postings of witless tweeting and stolen photos and everyone thinking that being a geek is something hip. Fuckin' Internet. Melissa, you are even more of a repulsive twat than Kardashian. She's only bringing one ugly fucking Kanye baby-dollop into the world...YOU are adding to the overpopulation of more and more shitty blogs of soul-killing copyright-thieving SHIT. Go fuck yourself. Srsly.
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