Monkey-Faced Aussie Footballer Goes Ape Shit on 13 Year-Old Girl

Aw, the big guy got called "APE" by a 13 year-old girl.

And so, like the rather ape-faced "Soup Nazi" of the Seinfeld sitcom, who used to toss people out of his store with a terse, "No SOUP FOR YOU" if they "offended" him, it was "NO GAME FOR YOU!" The kid was ejected!

Now, I have sympathy for any guy who looks like an ape. Or a monkey. Or a weasel. Or even a koala bear. Koala bears are cute but it's not a face a guy would like to have, huh?

BUT...isn't there a little something called FREE SPEECH?

Don't many people go to sporting events...JUST to yell and curse at the opposing player?

Is it SUCH a big difference if you call somebody a SHIT HEAD or a SHIT FACE?

Is it SUCH a big difference if you call somebody UGLY MOTHERFUCKER or APE?

Jim Rice, a (black) baseball player, regularly endured razzes from a chorus of fans: "WHAT COMES OUT OF A CHINAMAN'S ASS?"

Just one example of "fan fun," of which we could all pick dozens.

Now, should Jim have been offended, or angry ONLY if he was Chinese? He ignored it. He was glad paying customers were in the seats at all, maybe.

Watching anybody play a GAME is a silly way of wasting money.

Now, this Aussie wombat who got his pouch in a twist...I guess that's ok, right? I can call him a wombat. I can imply he has a pouch. I can imply that he has a huge hemorrhoid that acts like a prehensile tail and from which he can swing doorknob to doorknob at home.

Well, this wombat (NOT an APE) claims his feelings were hurt:

"To come to the boundary line and hear a 13 year old girl call me an 'ape', and it's not the first time on a footy field that I've been referred to as a 'monkey' or an 'ape', it was shattering."

Shattering? How OLD are you?

And how do you know, for sure, that she was being racist, when...quite frankly, you look like a fucking ape? LOTS of guys do. So do some women, come to think of it. The guy perceives a racist remark and that's good enough to start a fucking inquisition of a child??

So this guy points out the girl, the girl is pulled from her seat, GRILLED for two fucking hours...("Police in Melbourne said that a 13-year-old girl had been interviewed over the incident, but had been released after two hours pending further inquiries...') and she denies she's racist. Or at least, she's not going to tell any monkey police officer she is!

The Aussie in question cooled down a bit later:

'It's not a witch-hunt, I don't want people to go after this young girl. We've just got to help educate society better so it doesn't happen again. Unfortunately it's what she hears, in the environment she's grown up in that has made her think that it's OK to call people names..."

Well, yes, it IS ok to call people names!

That's our society now, Ape Man. I don't think it's right either. But legally, it's NOTHING. Judge Wapner of "The Peoples Court" used to point this out all the time. It is not against the law to call people names. Sticks and stones can break your bones, but names can never hurt you, the rhyme goes. Not quite true, it can hurt your feelings, but feelings don't amount to a lawsuit. Broken bones DO.

The question is WHAT ultimately is a "bad" name? You call someone a clown, and clowns get upset! Really...there have been many letters to the editors from actual CLOWNS, begging people to stop insulting their noble profession by using the term as an insult. The fucking Bozos.

A lot of people with dark complexions, hairy faces, and perhaps a too-flat nose, will insist any reference to MONKEY or APE has to be racist. Well, what else do you call someone like that? Giraffe? Stork?

He could've just called back, "Fuck you, you bald-beaver vanilla pile of mucous!" If he did, would he have been ejected? In some sports, you can't talk to the opposing player or referee and certainly can't yell any kind of negative remark.

OK, it really would be nice if people WERE nice, and if sportsmanship was part of sports, and if NO reference was made to somebody's difference in nose size, hair color, complexion, race or religion. But is it really less hurtful to point and make a nasty remark about a man's big nose than his ape-like demeanor? What if he looks like a proboscis monkey and has both?

The bottom line here, is why is it that CERTAIN insults have more weight than others? OOH, if it's SEXIST, or RACIST, then it's WORSE? Call an Aboriginal Australian an "ape" or a gay a "fag" and that's really worse than calling that person a fuckhead, a brainless pile of pus, or as useless as a tampon in an old people's home?

Making fun of your idiot race is WORSE than just making fun of you for yourself?? Would this guy really have preferred the girl, or anyone, to get more personal? "YOU are the ugliest fuck on the playing field!" Yeah, MUCH better! How about: "Your mother sucks cock in hell!" How does that rank? Or is that not such an "aboriginal sin" as saying "APE!"

We're supposed to put more weight on a RACIST or SEXIST remark because it shows intolerance and ignorance? Sorry, but so does making fun of somebody for having crossed eyes, a big pimple, a fat ass, buck teeth or every season of "Friends" on DVD. People demonstrate "intolerance" all the time. Should a gay feel offended if someone suggests that bright purple tank-top and pink thongs aren't right attire in the restaurant? That this is purely a sexist criticism and not just common sense? We all "judge" each other, and make decisions based first on appearance. You might be a gentleman even if you look like an ape, and you might be tasteful even though you were seen coming out of an Applebees.

The girl ended up telling a local TV reporter, "'I didn't mean it in a racist way and I'm sorry to the club and the AFL,' she said.

I think she added that "AFL stands for Ass-Fucking Losers."