TEMPEST IN A HITLER TEA POT! Ooh, naughty J.C. PENNEY!

The most amusing AND disgusting pop culture "controversy" of the month involves protests that cheap-o department store J.C. PENNEY shouldn't be selling...a HITLER TEA POT

It seems that from a distance, motorists in California instantly thought HITLER when they saw a Billboard sign for the tea pot. It's not called a HITLER tea pot, it's a Michael Graves Design Bells and Whistles Tea Kettle. But why would a big chain like PENNEY bother promoting a lousy $40 tea pot? Hmmm, antisemitism? Secret love of Nazis and bad haircuts? Maybe it goes so well with an (Eva) Braun toothbrush?

Thanks to this inane publicity, neo-Nazi groups are scooping up the tea pot, someone on eBay sold one for $200, and PENNEY has removed the offending Billboard, which will probably show something even more obnoxious, like a big picture of jackasses Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn promoting their shitty new comedy "The Internship." Their ugly mugs are currently nauseating me on local bus shelters.

Is it just me? I don't remember Adolf Hitler having a bell on one of his ears. I don't remember him wearing some kind of high school sweater with a big letter I on it. I also think he had eyes.

Yah, amusing that prurient morons would hallucinate Hitler when they see a tea pot, but disgusting that this stupid thing has become a collectors item and raised the profile for Nazi assholes everywhere.

STOP IT! DAMN IT! STOP MENTIONING THE WAR! STOP GOING AFTER GERMANS AND SEEING HITLER EVERYWHERE.

Me, I've got better things to do. The baby is crying for its Goebbels Baby Food, I've got to fill up on petrol at Hess, my wife is preparing for tonight's "Meet and Mengele" party, and I've got to make a back-up of this latest entry onto a CD-Rommel.