Whatever Happened to Class - Eva Longoria, Desperate Publicity Hog

Oh, ANOTHER "wardrobe malfunction?"

Yes, I know, even the most rabid of heterosexuals is saying, "THIS IS GETTING TIRESOME."

This is getting tiresome!

There, I've said it. Twice.

What's especially tiresome is that these "wardrobe malfunctions" tend to be so lame, too.

And the women who perform these cunning stunts...tend to be tawdry, trashy D-list tarts who all look like they're $200-a-night Craigs Listers. And that certainly includes Eva Longoria, who is looking more and more like she's going to Kim Kardashian's fake-up artist.

I remember seeing her on a Leno "Tonight Show" YEARS ago, and it was one of those rare times when I thought, "Hey, who is THIS? This is a hot-looking girl!" I mean, she didn't look like Paris Hilton, fer Chrissake.

My momentary intrigue faded when she began to speak. Her main topic of conversation was that she shaved her pubic hair and it was SO WONDERFUL and made the sex SO much better.

Whatever happened to class?

Then it turned out she was fucking basketball players, and she was starring on some garbage TV show not worth watching, and I don't think she ever was able to turn her somewhat interesting look into a career that included one decent film (not even a "Miss Congeniality" on her resume). And now? Now, Longoria is just another desperate bimbo who goes on talk shows and walks the red carpet as nothing but a sex object. A sex object of the "look at me," type, "I'm too sexy for my blouse...I can't stop my boobs from popping out...I'm too sexy for my skirt...whoops, you can see I've got a shaved crotch...I'm too stupid to wear even a thong..."

Raquel Welch, to name a past-Latina, has had a career that's lasted decades. One reason is she has class. She also understands that a turn-on has an element of mystery. You keep 'em wanting more. You don't show it all. Just as in real life, you don't marry the whore.

"Wardrobe malfunctions" do happen to the best of them...but the BEST of them stay classy. You can probably find the classic moment when the strap on Sophie Marceau's gown let her down. She revealed a golden globe, but she quickly made the adjustment, and being a mature and intelligent European beauty, her reaction was good humored surprise and she barely broke her stride as she covered up.

And it didn't happen again. "Again" IS the operative word for a Longoria, or Paris Hilton (who came to fame via a porn video) or Kardashian (who came to fame via a porn video). "Again and AGAIN" is what happens with Britney or Lindsay (who might blame their foolishness on drugs or alcohol).

Eva, heading toward 40, is Longoria in the tooth...which may be why she's so eager now to show her twat instead. Which is why even the most rabid of heterosexuals is saying...for the third time...

"THIS IS GETTING TIRESOME."