Fine, shit heads. It takes your minds away from your own mortality. Which could come AT ANY SECOND.
Take Randy Travis, MR. Mephisto, Mrs. DeathSkull, Masters Lulzsec of Destruction. That could be you.
A few weeks ago he was fine. Hadn't a care in the world. Didn't even give a shit about illegal downloads from self-important life-wasting Internet dumbasses.
Now? Now they're trying to sew his brains back together and find a way to keep his heart from attacking him.
What happened?
HE WENT VIRAL
This is the world of sudden diseases...AIDS and SARS. Of Legionnaires disease coming out of nowhere, and Lou Gherig's disease, and the re-emergence of old favorites like leukemia. Speaking of comebacks, have Michael Douglas discuss how lethal STD's can be...and let's see some stats on how many people are working around with herpes.
How about the rise of diabetes, brought on by idiots gorging on sugary foods, and the increase in all forms of cancer?
Even a simple "viral infection" can kill you.
This is an increasingly unclean, unhealthy, sick sick world and if you believe in God, then it's God's way of GETTING RID OF YOU. Because there are too many humans on the planet who are fucking it up for the animals and plants.
"They all deserve to die," sang Sweeney Todd, and he had a point. Especially if you mean fucking idiots like the smirking Boston Bomber who came to court and enjoyed his sisters mewling for him and people outside (one in a fucking Guy Fawkes mask) chanting he should be set free. Especially if you mean the idiots in Egypt killing each other over which corrupt moron should lead them. And certainly the planet can do without Justin Bieber and Amanda Bynes among other celebutard talentless twits and twats.
But if you believe in God, you know he's tricky. He's not just going to infect every murderer in jail with Murder In Jail Disease, so we can fill the jails up again. Nope. He's got his creepy microbes and his sneaky viruses going to work in all kinds of amazing ways, and he's picked on Randy Travis because...
...oh, because he wanted a BLOG to mention all this. That's as good a reason as any.
It was once pretty rare when a famous person was struck down by a perplexing disease while still young.
Lou Gherig's demise was so surprising he became the subject of a movie.
Over 40 years later, there was Jim Henson...who thought he had the flu. He went to a doctor, who found nothing wrong. Then one night he was coughing up blood. When he finally went to the hospital, he was in septic shock. When he died, it was attributed to a bacterial infection. Where did he get it? How? At best, the doctors revised this to state that what actually caused death was "organ failure." Caused by...yeah, something in his system that went VIRAL.
And that's what has happened with Travis. A "viral infection" created complications, which has led to a stroke and brain surgery. Reports at the moment say he's in critical condition but improving. It's possible he'll come out of this without much impairment, and that they'll also find a way to repair the damage to his heart. Anything is possible.
Except the odds of you and I going VIRAL in a similar way, due to our corrupt and stupid government, our greedy fellow man and woman, and the way that we have poisoned our water and our food, made smoking and eating sugary shit some kind of surly badge of valor, and go around snarling at anyone who complains about dog waste on the street, noise pollution, global warming, junk floating in the river, mercury in fish and all the other wimpy hippie things that have to do with being "natural" and "organic" and preserving the "environment."
The doctors will tell you that they can fix anything that goes VIRAL, if you just don't ask for health insurance, if you just pay a huge amount for medication, and don't mind that the person examining you can't speak your language, appears to have dirty hands, and would gladly schedule you for x-rays and a colonoscopy if you showed up with a sprained ankle.
But the odds are, no, a sprained ankle is not going to be in your future...as much as something VIRAL from something you ate, breathed in, touched, or, ha ha ho ho hee hee downloaded off the Internet. THAT could happen one day because there are some hackers out there who'd do it just for fun. What else do they have to do?
Dylan sang once "Everything is broken."
Uh huh. And everything's GOING VIRAL.
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