Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Harriet Tubman? BLACK For the New GREEN? FUCK OFF!

Just how politically correct, ie., how STUPID, is America getting?

To put it VERY politically INCORRECTLY, it's getting CUNT stupid, THAT is how stupid.

Oh oh oh, we have to have a WOMAN on the $20 bill. We have no WOMEN on our currency!

Somehow, via Twitter or Buzzfeed or Fuckhead, people with NOTHING BETTER TO WORRY ABOUT, have made a petition to kick Andrew Jackson, "Old Hickory," off the $20 bill.

How STUPID can people get? First off, we've had WOMEN on our currency, for fuckin' CHRISSAKE. Doesn't anybody remember? There was the Susan B. Anthony dollar. Nasty lookin' bitch, wasn't she? Important lady, but who wants to look at THAT sour kisser?

The idea was that with inflation, coin vending machines needed a dollar coin more than ever. And how about one with wacky edges? Guess what. It was a FLOP. Nobody wanted the fucking thing.

Still stinking of twat, the United States Mint didn't give up, and in 2000 they unveiled THIS piece of shit.

What is THAT? Give 'em credit for again trying to make the dollar coin NOT resemble the approximate size of a quarter. This time, a gold tinge. Which reflected the skin of Sacagawea. WHO? She was a Native American (hooray, whoopee, tada) who worked as a guide for the Lewis and Clark expedition. Which is, she was basically an idiot who helped white men forage deeper into Indian territory and take it over.

In other words, she wasn't very important in American history at all. She might be marginally more interesting than Pocahontas, the Indian maid who saved the life of John Smith. Great, a woman saves ONE white guy, and she's a legend forever.

Lewis and Clark aren't even that important. SOMEBODY would've eventually pushed to the West Coast anyway. They got their first with an Indian babe for help? So?

Susan B. Anthony, arguably worth putting on a coin, was a Quaker who was hot for the blacks. She created the "American Anti-Slavery Society," and aside from complaining about racial prejudice, she was also bitching about women being the niggers of the world. At least, behind the actual niggers. Her big deal was demanding that women be allowed to vote. She was a fine troublemaker, at a time when women were supposed to shut up, lie on their backs, and make babies. A colorful battle axe.

She deserved to be on a coin, and to have that coin minted year after year after year. The others? A postage stamp is good enough.

In America, the dollar coin is STILL not popular. The few vending machines around take dollar bills (and fives, tens and twenties) so clunky coins are not wanted. The machines also take credit cards.

It's possible that even foreigners know who Andrew Jackson is. For music fans, he was immortalized in "The Battle of New Orleans," which was about a fight against "the bloody British." The line: "Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise if we didn't fire our muskets till we looked 'em in the eyes..."

Harriet Tubman? She's the subject of a very good Smokey Robinson song of that name, which mentions how she rode for the underground railroad (ferrying black slaves to the North). Harriet was basically working for her own people, so I'm not sure how she represents ALL of America, but in any logical equation, Andrew Jackson is far more important than she is.

You could make a better case for Tubby turning up on the $10 bill, which is currently faced by Alexander Hamilton, who is most famous for being shot and killed by Aaron Burr. But if you want to get technical, Hamilton would be better replaced by a neglected President, of which there are many, or a variety of great Americans (how about Edison) who are much more important than Harriet Tubman.

Oh, but Tubman is a woman, and black. So let's pretend she's as vitally important as...BEYONCE.

Hopefully all this fucking talk about changing the $20 will be ignored and Obama will rightly feel that tradition, and the value of Jackson's presidency, trumps any cheap, annoying "politically correct" monkeying around. He might also feel offended that because he's black, he'd be expected to push through something this stupid just because Tubman's also black.

In reality, the best thing to put on a $20 is a giant replica of a turd, because you can hardly even buy shit with one.

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