Rape suspect PAUL NUNGESSER (aka Nun Fucker) to do ads for Serta

Pointy-nosed itchy-dicked PAUL NUNGESSER was energetically accused of rape. Of course, how do you prove it wasn't consensual, ha ha ho ho hee hee.

So the victim lugged a mattress with her for the rest of her college days. It was called everything from "protest" to "performance art." And, yes, she and some classmates lugged it to her graduation ceremony.

So, who do we believe? The girl, who might be psycho, or the guy, who might be a sociopath?

What's the future for this girl? Anyone going to date HER in a big hurry?

She can go get a doctorate, or find some feminist-run business that will employ her. But Nungesser? What was his deal? Did girls flock to him for rough sex, as they did the murderous Robert Chambers? Or was he Nun-but the lonely? Did he just sit around reading Nun-fucker porn?

Maybe Serta, Perfect Sleeper or Dial-a-Mattress will hire him as their mascot. After all, a guy who can make a woman walk around with a mattress...should be able to convince more women to buy the fuckin' things.