800 Damn Pages on Macca? Norman, You Ain't Normal

Oh, here he is again, Philip Norman.

Did he REALLY want to do 800 fucking pages on McCartney, or did he notice his bank balance sinking?

Once you've got the rep for writing THE giant biography on one group or star after another, you keep on going: "Shit, I've got all the research and clippings, it won't be THAT tough to knock out a bio on Macca."

He "casts a sly eye" on Macca's sex life? THAT is why I'm supposed to be buying this stupid thing??

I can imagine this guy's pitch to the publisher: "There hasn't been a new book on McCartney in at least ten minutes. Despite the Internet having MORE than you'd EVER be able to read, people will buy this because he's still touring, and he's SO fascinating! My book will highlight how he fucked groupies before he was married! How he fucked Jane Asher and also was fucking Peggy Lipton! I have no idea if he fucked Cilla Black because she didn't say and I can't find any gossipy dope to claim to have seen it through the bathroom window, but I'll re-hash every cold potato and hot tomato on the platter!"

You're gonna like this book. Not a lot.

I haven't had the time to scan every fucking Beatles bio, and I sure as hell haven't read everything on McCartney, Starr or Harrison, or even gotten around to ALL those Lennon books. But so what, so Paul fucked around. What good does reading about 40 year-old fucking do ME? I didn't know he fucked Peggy Lipton. So? She eventually married Quincy Jones. What do I care? Do I really want to read about the sordid world of his one-legged bitch-wife Heather? Too many pages...it's like listening to "Too Many People."

I read something about Macca yelling at Heather, "THIS IS MINE," meaning her twat. Somehow he was either frustrated or egotistical and wanted her to spread her legs. Er, leg. And one time he didn't go running to get her crutch when she hopped out of bed to take a piss? Whatever. Am I that naive to think Paulie is Mr. Charm every minute of the day?

Well, I guess some people will download this fucker off Kickass and scan it on their KINDLE, and some really stupid people will buy this brick and have more clutter in their home. Fine, hack out another book and another, Mr. Phil. "What does it matter to ya? If ya gotta job to do, ya gotta do it well...." No doubt the guy did his cut and paste well enough, and didn't leave much out. But did he explain the lyrics to "Get Back?" Ultimately, isn't trivia about Paul's life as meaningless as the words to "Get Back?"

"Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman. But she was another man. All the girls around her say she's got it coming. But she gets it while she can." Yeah, and while he could, he got Jane Asher, and Peggy Lipton. I'm supposed to go back, go back and read about that shit?