Retchy Blight turns Purple - hey, Elton John sucks compared to Prince (well, duhhhh)

It's SO nice to know that Meltin' John isn't really too limply devastated that his boy-toy cheated on him.

Nellie Ellie has been performing, as usual, and probably mothering his adorable brats. As to what Furnished room his hubby may have been banished, who knows.

No, "the blues" for Retchy involve...of course...Mr. Purple.

Forget about David fucking somebody for over three years, and having 3-ways with hairdressers and other drips. Better to add more ink to the PURPLE LEGEND:

"This is truly devastating news. The greatest performer I have ever seen. A true genius. Musically way ahead of any of us. Sang with him twice on stage. What an honour. Rest in peace you purple warrior."

Well, yeah, Retchy, I'm sure you wished you had your mouth around his purple helmet but..."musically way ahead of any of us????" Are you fucking CRAZY?

We're talking about stupid funk shit like "1999?" We're talking about a dreary dirge called "Purple Rain?" YOU, Mr. J., created that fucking impressive "Funeral for a Friend." That seemed pretty advanced. "Your Song" and "Rocket Man" ain't too shabby. What makes "Nothing Compares 2 U" so much better? You want to literally stack up those Elton albums and say they're not impressive? You also want to forget "Sgt. Pepper" or even "Satanic Majesties Request?" Christ, I'd even put Pink Floyd's fucking "Atom Heart Mother" above RINSE's output. What's genius about this twerp? How is he "musically way ahead" of a chameleon like Dylan who has written in every style?

Fruitcake idiot. Are you kidding? "Greatest performer I have ever seen?" What are you, Ray Charles?

My, my, how people have forgotten about wonderful awesome King of Pop Michael Jackson. And Broooose. I wouldn't expect Mr. John to be flushed with a Madonna performance — one Queen jealous of another — but really. WHAT THE FUCK.

When was this guy ever considered "the greatest performer?" If you go through old issues of Rolling Stone or the pop and rock columns of any major newspaper, how many reviews insisted that a RINSE live show was the ultimate orgasm? Few and none. This guy did one superbowl show which nobody seems to remember. How come it's not considered the highlight of football history? Why doesn't it even get a mention when people talk about Janet Jackson's nipple slip? Nigga's nipple slip be so much better than the great posturing RINSE?

Zzzzzz. Look, Melty, unless you're going to get drunk and weep, and/or suddenly fall on your face as if overcome with emotion...you are no MADONNA when it comes to giving pointless tributes to dead rock stars. She still trumps you, and what DID you do when BLOWIE died? Sing about how you wanted to blow him?

This RINSE cycle has gotten dingy, stale, stinky and downright stupid. Maybe people should start jumping from buildings, since "the greatest performer" is gone. I mean, what's left? Going to a shitty Elton John show?