Cuntwell, SEE EMILY PAY TO PLAY

Pity the poor piping pipsqueak untalented pussyfart vocalists like Shauna Cuntwell.

They are out of touch with reality, and worse, HAVE NO MONEY.

Poor (literally), Shauna doesn't have enough bucks to pay-to-play, or hire a producer with some credits. She also is trying to compete in venues that don't pay. Who would hire some little bitch with a guitar? A bar? A shabby restaurant? These places usually hire a friend or relative, and rarely pay anything. A better idea is to sing the kind of rotten music an affluent audience of well dressed nitwits would like: oldies, sophisticated ballads, cabaret jazz etc. Clubs that offer that shit charge a cover and minimum and a singer might make a few bucks at the end of the night.

No, not too attractive is she? You wouldn't want THAT under you, staring at you as you're trying to maintain an erection.

First off, does the woman have eyebrows or caterpillars? STAY LONELY, bitch, guys can't fuck someone like this except from behind, and women like that HATE to get fucked like a bitch.

But you notice first thing, she's got a stylist for her hair and makeup, she's got excellent camera work, she's spent MONEY on this fucking video, in her attempt to be Carole King or the female Michael Buble.

This boring but well produced song has gotten over 2,000 hits in a day or two. Why? She's networking on Farcebook, as is her producer, a certain curmudgeon who used to wear a beret and sing misogynist and misanthropic lyrics. What's he doing with this loser? There IS money in teaching songwriting classes and being paid to produce affluent people who want a REAL GooTube demo. He ain't losing time or money on her, you can bet on it. Who knows how much he's charged her per hour. Maybe he required a basic "gimme $5,000 and I'll produce and rehearse you and then help find somebody to make the video and charge even more. PS, I'll also co-write and charge for that, too."

An interesting irony here is her PREVIOUS GooTube demos: like Shauna, she did COVERS before attempting an original. Go trick a fan into listening to YOUR version of the hit song.

Unlike Shauna's silly covers, this bitch's stuff is well produced. From the start, she never just sat herself in front of a camcorder. She also didn't knock out a cover every other day. She shrewdly chose songs that would entice old people: "Hmm, Mama Cass is dead...maybe we can go see THIS woman." Yes, she covered the detestable "Dream a Little Dream of Me," which she wrongly credits as a "Michael Buble cover." Er, uh, you REALLY think he was the first to sing it, bitch?

She also covers that hoary old "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" Carole King thing, but has updated her resume to include tunes from Bruno Mars, and even Shauna fave Ariana Grande.

I'm not sure what we have here, an affluent Jewess or Palesteeeeenian, but with those eyebrows, I wouldn't guess we're dealing with someone who'd be covering Joni Mitchell.

Bottom line, this woman ain't going nowhere. She'll meet some rich guy one of the times she does a pay-for-play in some vanity venue or other, and she'll soon be swapping diapers for lead sheets, and find less and less time for rehearsing some ridiculous gig or paying a producer thousands upon thousands just to have a GooTube single get a few thousand hits and a lot of dopey "nice" comments.

Yet she does have a lot more to be proud of than a Shauna or an Amy. First off, she does have a pretty decent voice. But secondly, she can show off well-produced material that could ALMOST be called product except NOBODY WOULD PAY FOR IT.