Shauna Cuntwell: "I'm Writing a Movie Theme Song!"

"Guyyyyssss, great news! My crazy manager Bill Hoobastank has come through for me! He's working on an exploitation film, and I'm going to write the theme song!

"It's all about T-Girl Grooker. It's the dirty story of a dirty man, and his bandmates don't seem to understand. Well, neither do I. But isn't this exciting???"

"THE BALLAD OF T-GIRL GROOKER"

He skipped in high-heeled fashions, did blowjobs on the floor.
He ate cum till he was seasick, but the tricks called out for more.
So he kept on humming harder, in his silly fucking hat.
Then he met a guy named Hoobastank, and he was into scat!

(CHORUS)

So it was that later, with a big shit-eating grin
When his dick could get no harder. He wore a yellow banana skin.

"How do you like it so far, guyyyysss? There are going to be soooo many stanzas! Grooker's led quite a life. We follow him into his advanced old age, when he owns a drug cartel, supervises several Ladyboy whore houses in Thailand, and with the help of his webmaster, holds drunken parties!"

(Last stanza...

"THE BALLAD OF T-GIRL GROOKER")

He hoarded lots of money, for his gowns and fancy dress.
Underneath he wore some nappies, 'cause he was such a hot mess.
He lived in a big mansion. Band mates gave his arse a lick.
"He's a cunt," was what they whispered, "but a cunt who is a prick."

(CHORUS)

So it was that later, while he wore his dress of pink
That a shitload in his nappy made a browner shade of stink.